1. Team Awesome! Woohoo! 89*
2. No Names 89
3. We Got Nothin' 85
4. Cornbread Mafia 83
5. Bang the Nun Slowly 66

1. Hurtin' Bombs 110
2. Sofa Kingdom 98
3. Narcotyzing D 84
4. Marc Andre Fleury 67
5. Revolting Blob 66

1. The Jams 97
2. Trust Us We Know 96
3. My Mom Says I'm Cool 89
4. Assistants to Regional Mgr. 88
5. Calamity Jane 76

1. Duane's World 102*
2. Penn 15 Club 102
3. Myers Sucks 74
4. Pogue Mahones 69
5. Earth Science Rocks 65

1. Lamda 83
2. Knocking Motion 78
3. The Underachievers 66
4. Oakwood Rec 64
5. Shomer Shabbas 63

1. Sofa Kingdom 110
2. I Own This Bar Kingdom 89
3. Show Minus One 89
4. Western Omelette 88
5. Porkheimers 82

• It was on this date in 1868 that Andrew Johnson was acquitted of impeachment by a single vote. Here is a short but thorough account of how it went down.
• Today on Kerri-Lee's blog, I ask, "What would your last meal be if you were condemned to die?" There is also a link to the top 10 last meals of all time, which is recommended reading.
• Hockey is hot right now. I mean, sorry NBA, Chris Paul is awesome, but your playoffs are boring, with the refs handing wins to the home team every single game (Home teams are 20-1 in the 2nd round of these playoffs. Fishy? Something tells me Donaghy was a fall guy for a larger problem.) Crosby is exciting to watch, even for a casual fan like myself. And the hits are spectacular. Most importantly, hockey has Don Cherry, the best dresser in sports history. And even better, the guy is completely out of his mind. A few nights ago, he wore a pink suit that almost blew out my retinas, then called Detroit fans "rednecks". I love this guy.
• The following sentence from bats*** crazy Steven Wells column in this week's PW: Acting as Warden Nutter’s Lord Chamberlain and dressed like Bill Sykes out of Oliver! (complete with snazzy neckerchief and battered top hat), I’ll rule the fop-infested Philly arts scene with a rod of iron (literally) in the company of my ever faithful, cigar-smoking, quizzo-organizing, Winston Churchill-faced talking mutant English bulldog Johnny S*** Times. (Much as I do now, only more so.) I really have no idea how to respond to that. None.

Question: Mr. President, I know you're going to hate this, but I'm hoping that we may twist your arm and talk about baseball for just a moment. (Laughter.) Mr. President, you're a Major League Baseball team owner again. Everyone is a free agent. You have a Yankees-like wallet. Who is your first position player?

THE PRESIDENT: That's a great question. I like Utley from the Philadelphia Phillies. He's a middle infielder, which is always -- you know, they say you have strength up the middle -- there's nothing better than having a good person up the middle that can hit.

BONUS: Creepy transformation scene from Manimal.
BONUS: The opening of The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer. I can't believe this show failed.
BONUS: Yes, Heil Honey I'm Home was a real show. And while the concept was amazing, the actual show was brutally awful.

In case anyone is curious: Yes, turning in your panties does count as a right answer.

RELATED: News story about the Rhubarb Festival...in Pittsburgh paper. Helllllllllooooo, Philadelphia media. Might wanna wake up and smell the rhubarb.
RELATED: I link yet again to my near upset in the 23rd annual Rhuarb Pie Bake-off.
RELATED: Pretty hilarious story I wrote about the 22nd Annual Bake off, which is where I first stumbled onto this little gem of a festival. Upon further review, I have to say that this is one of the funniest things I have ever written.

1. What country are Alex and Eddie Van Halen from?
2. This rum, pineapple, and curacao drink shares a name with an Elvis movie.
3. As opera fans are aware, Fledermaus is the German word for what animal?
4. What restaurant chain gets its name from the Japanese phrase for Red flower?
5. There have been two songs called Tequila sunrise recorded. One of them was released in 1973, and the other was a rap song. What two groups recorded them?
6. What group of islands are the farthest away from any major landmass on earth, over 2300 miles away?
7. What US President was born in a town called Independence?
8. Put the following isladns in order from west to east: Puerto Rico, Jamaica, Hispaniola.
9. What major league baseball record is held by pitcher Anthony Young?
10. In square mileage, what are the two largest countries in the European Union?

I would have gone home after that but Gabe said he was gonna grab another drink. So we met up with some friends of his from school at a bar that shall remain nameless b/c of what I'm about to tell you and the next thing you know I'm talking to this really hot blonde at the bar who gave me a look but then it turned out that she was 19 (seriously, she did not look 19. Ask Gabe. Or the bartender.) so after I talked to her for a little while (I didn't want to be rude) I left and met up with Gabe and his friends again at Misconduct Tavern. Well, they closed at 2 (it's the law) but Gabe was a member of Pen and Pencil so we headed there. I hadn't been to the P & P in like 5 years, since I dated this girl that was a hard partier but also loved Jesus and tried to convert me over dinner and later ended up making out with one of my Jewish friends because he said he loved Jesus**. Next thing you know it is 4:45 a.m. and I am walking through the empty streets of Philadelphia back to my place. Then I had to wake up at 9:15 because the damn guy from PGW was here to turn my gas back on. God, I hate PGW! Um, so what was my point? Oh yeah, quizzo will probably suck tonight, because I am exhausted. But you should still go.

*though not b/c of a lack of effort on my part.
**True story

Mark your calendars! (And don't forget to floss!!!)

• It's difficult to fall off a cruise ship UNLESS you're either drunk, doing something you should not be doing or you are somewhere you should not be. Since our society has devolved into an illiterate mass of immature morons, the last people I will ever blame are the ones who are consistently called upon to bail people out of "stupid people" situations.
• Just a wild guess here, but I'm going with an excessive use of alchohol coming into play in this story.
• In the end the taxpayer picks up the tab for these massive searches not the cruise companies.
• I tend to side with some who feel too much alcohol was involved here... yes, you can fall over board on a cruise ship but I feel it is because you did something stupid.
• I myself just came back from a cruise a week ago and let me tell you that the only way you fall off is either by climbing up over a railing and falling (commiting suicide) or some one has to pick you up and throw you over. She did not just fall by accident.
• If you call climbing on and hanging over the rail an accident I suppose it's possible. Not to say I have any idea how this woman fell but it is all that I can imagine, especially only 3 hours or so into the cruise.