Recently in Politics Category


Michelle Malkin does. You knew this stupid troll was going to say something unbelievably idiotic before the end of the day, and sure enough she did. For those of you who haven't heard, two geniuses claiming to be from the Black Panthers (great job helping the cause, guys) apparently tried to stop a couple of white people from voting. Well, Michelle Malkin jumped all over it, then went on to describe how Philadelphia almost had a race riot a few months ago. You guys remember that, right? I think it was right after all those white people voted for that black mayor. Well, Michelle Malkin remembers it. She also remembers how we had riots and violence "after the Phillies won, after they won!" Yep, something tells me the Black Panthers were behind the looting of that luggage store. I hear that Black Panthers just looooove to travel. I think Michelle Malkin is a worse human being than Kim Jong Il. I really, really do.

george-washington-picture.jpg What if George Washington hadn't been the first person to ever turn down the idea of being King for the good of his country? Who would be King now? George had no direct descendants, so the question is kind of tough to answer, but somebody at ancestry.com was able to figure it out. And if GW had declared himself King? Things would probably be about the same as they are now. The man who would be King is a George Bush supporter. Sidenote: my sister had a Custis in her class at school that was a direct descendant of Martha Washington (nee Custis) by her first husband. I wonder if that side of the family would have attempted to overthrow the Washingtons. Probably. RELATED: A sort of Beckish rap about George Washington. (NSFW) Pretty funny.
Senator-John-McCain--27354.jpg McCain's attacks on Obama recently have shrieked of desperation, as the right wing talking points now are the same tired topics that were relevant 6 months ago, when Hillary was trying to knock off Obama. But Obama has proven more evasive than Kerry with the Swift Boat or the Flip flopping, and in the midst of a horrific economic downturn that has American's freaked, McCain's attacks about people Obama served on an education board with in the mid 90s is just white noise. Obama won the first debate and he won again last night, with McCain's only "highlight" being his cringeworthy "That One" comment. McCain's current strategy seems to be, "I am so disgusted by this man that I won't even call him by name." It doesn't seem to be working. Why? Because we saw hateful character attacks in 2000 by Bush (McCain has a black baby) and in 2004 (Swift Boat) and what did voting out of fear get this country? One of the three worst presidents in the history of this country, a man whose approval ratings are lower than Nixon's on the day he resigned. McCain seems to have cast his lot, but it simply seems to paint him as a sad, angry old man, willing to shed his dignity and honor to sling mud, thinking that it's the only way he can pull off an upset and defeat "That One." It is a sad ending to the storied career of a great American.
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Thanks to Jennifer for sending this in.


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Big Poppa McCain came to the defense of his little girl on CBS Evening News last night. Awwwwwwww.


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When John McCain picked Sarah Palin to be his VP choice, I thought it was a smart one. I didn't like her views, but politically, it was brilliant, and I was not surprised that it gave Republicans a huge bump. Her speech at the RNC was a knockout, and I started to think that she might pull this thing out for McCain with her charm and grace. But this interview with Katie Couric is just absolutely startling. Her incoherence is unbelievable. Her mind just wanders on every conceivable topic. It is breathtaking to see how ill-prepared this woman was to speak to the media. I'm willing to bet she says almost nothing to the press before her debate. She is just too big of a liability. Anyone who sees the Couric interview and thinks that this woman is fit to lead the United States of America is completely out of their f***** minds. Just read this quote from the interview: "That's why I say I, like every American I'm speaking with, we're ill about this position that we have been put in, where it is the taxpayers looking to bail out. But ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the healthcare reform that is needed to help shore up our economy. Um, helping, oh -- it's got to be all about job creation too. Shoring up our economy, and putting it back on the right track. So healthcare reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions, and tax relief for Americans, and trade, we've got to see trade as opportunity, not as a competitive, um, scary thing, but 1 in 5 jobs being created in the trade sector today. We've got to look at that as more opportunity. All of those things under the umbrella of job creation. This bailout is a part of that."

Here's the LA Times write up about what a shipwreck the interview was. Sarah Palin: She's like George Bush, except she's not as smart.


This is absolutely brutal. Is she drunk?

latrice.jpg This saga between FOX29 and Wilson Goode, Jr. is the gift that just keeps on giving. First the whole Latrice Bryant's homeade KKK sign drama, then Dolemite shows up and starts crashing into a FOX29 reporter. (Video well worth watching. It's amazing.) We cannot wait to see what happens next. It is times like this that I really, really love this city. (Amazing Latrice photo from Philebrity who took it from Latrice's Myspace page.)
barack_herman.jpg We'd be lying if we said that this photo doesn't bother us. This photo courtesy of, guess who, Bob T. Looks like Bob T. is dropping these big guns on us in crunch time, making us left wing commies question if we really want to have such a dork in command.
sarah_palin_ap.jpg Was I the only one taken aback by how Sarah Palin was essentially sabotaged by the mainstream media yesterday? There were rumors that her daughter had given birth to her 5th baby (not true) and that she used to belong to a fringe political party (not true) Yes, her 17 year old daughter is pregnant, to which anyone with any sense can only reply: who cares? If she had encouraged her daughter to get an abortion when she is firmly pro-life, then yes, it would have been a major story. But she didn't and, well, it isn't. I think her daughter being pregnant has about the same amount of relevance in this race as Jamie Lynn Spears getting pregnant. None. As for the "radical" political party she supposedly belonged to, well, she didn't (unless you count recent Republican positions as radical). Her husband did. And, unless you count Libertarians as radical, then the Alaskan Independence Party is not really all that fringe (especially compared with the Weathermen). The only thing that smells all that fishy to me is the whole Safety Commissioner Dismissal, which is about on par with plagiarizing speeches and law review articles.


Listen, I stand against pretty much every thing Sarah Palin stands for politically. But all this drummed up horses*** about how she's a terrible pick is ridiculous. These out of control attacks on her about pointless minutae reek of the type of sexism that Clinton complained about in the primaries. At the time, I thought she was being a whiner. Now I'm not so sure.

john-mccain2.jpg What in the hell has happened to John McCain? Has he lost his mind? Seriously? Or is has the Straight Talk Expresser started following the Bush tactic of only taking questions from people who cheerlead for him?
rielle-hunter.jpg Really, his convention role is unclear? I think it should be very clear: John Edwards may not come within 2,000 miles of the convention. What a skeevy snake. My favorite line in all of this so far came from a Huffington Post commenter: Who says a $400 haircut doesn't get you chicks? It was the HP that raised some questions about Rielle Hunter in the first place, back in September. Off to Phils game. Scoreboard manana.
che-guevara.jpg Interesting column in the LA TImes about how the artist who created the Obama Hope posters used the famous Che Guevara look from his iconic photograph as his model: So it shouldn't be a surprise that L.A. artist Shepard Fairey, in his design for a Sen. Barack Obama poster, looked to Korda's Che. Fairey's Obama is not wearing a beret, and he's looking left instead of right, but his face tilts at the same angle as Che's. His jaw is set with the same willfulness and strength, and he too is gazing recognizably upward into the future (hasta la victoria siempre . . . ). Obama's eyes, though, are filled not with righteous anger but with vague and lofty hope. I have a feeling Parsnip is going to have a field day with this one. barack-obama-hope-stickers.gif
cmTRAIN_wideweb__470x316,0.jpg In a rare event that brought all Americans together, Michelle Malkin was hit by a train today. The neocon commentator, who earlier this week said that Dunkin Donuts ads gave comfort to the enemy, was hit by the train only moments after this picture was taken by me.


"I asked her to move a little to the left, a little to the left, a little to the left, and next thing you know, she got hit by that train," I said. "This has really been a tragic accident. I feel awful. Well, not awful, but I don't feel good about causing Michelle Malkin to get hit by that fast-moving train. Well, at least I don't feel GREAT about it."

Malkin, who is actually an evil racist robot, suffered severe circuitry damage. "We don't know if we can save her, after she got hit by that train," said Malkin creator David Duke.

Ticker tape parades were being scheduled in several major cities, with Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter proclaiming, "This is a great day for America. It is nice to know that, as of today, there is one less evil racist robot in the world, thanks to that fast-moving train."

Condolences for the racist, whiny, snivelling, squawking robot were non-existent.

gates bush.jpg A few quick words from Robert Gates, US Secretary of Defense, about Iran the day before Bush made his appeasers remark in Israel: “We need to figure out a way to develop some leverage . . . and then sit down and talk with them,” Gates said. “If there is going to be a discussion, then they need something, too. We can’t go to a discussion and be completely the demander, with them not feeling that they need anything from us.”

Oops. What he meant to say was, "What's going to happen if Iran doesn't do exactly what we say? My prediction: Pain."

06obama_lg.jpg I'm gonna be on the road for the next several hours, so in the meantime I leave you with this to discuss: Has Reverend Wright sabotaged any chance Obama had of being the next President of the United States?


Colbert's trip to the Constitution Center was downright hilarious.

picresized_th_1208413100_DSCF0452.jpg So I went down to Pumpkin to grab a chicken salad and while I was waiting, I ventured over to the little thrift store across the street. As I'm flipping through the CDs, a woman wanders in and she and the owner start talking about how they're expecting Obama at the Philadelphia Tribune in about half an hour. I bought a CD , grabbed my chicken salad and headed home for my camera. I quickly changed shirts (from a Coors Lite shirt into my Phillies T. Oh, like you would have let Obama see you with a Coors Lite shirt on.), grabbed my camera and headed back toward 16th and South. There were cops on the corner, but I just cruised past them and walked down to the Tribune. The staff was all waiting outside (almost all of the men were wearing extremely sharp, colorful suits and looked like old timey newsmen. Very cool.) Apparently they had had to evacuate so the bomb dogs could come through. The ladies were giggling about Obama. A guy wandered over from a nearby construction site and asked me, "Whose heading over here, Obama?" I told him yes and he and I sort of hung out there, the only two non staffers waiting for the candidate. We started talking about the Phillies, and discussed the Santana-Hamels match up on Friday. One of the older Secret Service men wandered over and said, "I think Hamels could turn out to be another Koufax. He's really something." picresized_1208413407_DSCF0451.jpg A police car pulled up, with one of those black cars that the bad guys used in Twister right behind it. Obama stepped out of the bad guy Twister car and called out, "Hey, how's everybody doing today?" The staff hollered back "Great", and he said, "Where we headed?" Security pointed to the door, but he said, "Let's go meet these good people first." He walked over, and I definitely got a little bit star struck. OK, so a lot starstruck. Probably the most startstruck I've been since I saw ?uestlove at Superfresh a couple of years ago. He was shaking hands and he reached back over towards me and said, "How are you?" as he stuck out his hand. I wanted to say something witty and urbane, really leave an impression, you know. So that later, when he was with his wife, he would say, "A guy in a Phillies shirt said the most profound thing today." However, all I could stumble out was a course, "Fine" and with that he was shaking the next hand. I wandered home. You can see the hand (below) that shook Obamas tonight at the Rendezvous and the Black Sheep. I promise not to wash it beforehand, and I will let you take pictures of it if you'd like. (There's another photo after the jump.) picresized_1208414843_DSCF0454.jpg
rocky2.jpg I held Quizzo Bowl IV at a boxing venue in Philadelphia, and never once, not in the promotional stuff, not on the website, not in the questions, did I invoke the name of Rocky. Why? Because even in that setting, it would have been trite and downright lame. Rocky is done. The city has moved on. I'm no marketing guru, but even I know that trying to win over voters in Philly by tying yourself to Rocky is like trying to win over voters in Kentucky by wearing a coonskin cap and carrying a musket. It's embarrassing and downright silly. Listen, Hillary, we're done with Rocky. The only place Rocky lives on is in the Philly Mag's Writers Handbook (Rule 1-A: You must reference Rocky and cheesesteaks in every single issue.). Wow. Just when I think I can't possibly like her any less, she trots out this groaner. Anyways, the good news is that Obama is gaining on her in Pennsylvania.
marion-cotillard-3221.jpg Marion Cotillard thinks that the US knocked down the twin towers, just like the Donspiracist. I am absolutely positive that this administration had nothing to do with 9/11. As one commenter put it: It would be impossible for this administration to have pulled off a 9/11 coverup. they are simply too incompetent to even come close to pulling off something this complex.
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  • Even if one takes every reefer madness allegation of the prohibitionists at face value, marijuana prohibition has done far more harm to far more people than marijuana ever could.
  • Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.
  • The central question that emerges…is whether the White community in the South is entitled to take such measures as are necessary to prevail, politically and culturally, in areas where it does not predominate numerically? The sobering answer is Yes—the White community is so entitled because, for the time being, it is the advanced race.
  • Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.
  • I'd rather entrust the government of the United States to the first 400 people listed in the Boston telephone directory than to the faculty of Harvard University.
  • (Of George W. Bush): If you had a European prime minister who experienced what we've experienced, it would be expected that he would retire or resign.
  • A Conservative is a fellow who is standing athwart history yelling "Stop!"
  • I won’t insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said.
nad0-005.jpg Here they come again.The Nader haters, crying about how Nader is going to screw things up again. I don't think Nader will get a lot of votes this year, especially if Obama wins the nomination. I voted for Nader in 2000, and will vote for him again if Hillary makes a comeback. I don't think that if Obama wins he should enter the race. But I appreciate his hutzpah. Nader has proven himself more of a man of the people than any of the other 3 candidates, and isn't that what a president supposed to be? On top of that, who are the Democrats to think that a two party system is their Constitutional right? I think the Founding Fathers would welcome more than two trains of thought, especially when the two ruling parties are at all time lows in terms of popularity with the American people. Of course, the media seeks conflict, not substance, so every story you read about Nader will be about his role as spoiler, not about his bringing to the table major topics such as corporate malfeasance and the situation in Israel and Palestine.


Also, I am a man who enjoys entertainment, Nader will certainly bring that to the table. My hope is that he makes Ron Paul his running mate. That would make this the greatest election in the history of mankind, and we'd see more blimps than we've seen since that fateful day in 1937.
RELATED: Huffington Post has a good story about why Ralph running is a mistake.

Barack Obama Official small.jpg I don't really cover a lot of politics here because there are plenty of other places to find that, but with the election coming up it's kind of hard to avoid, especially because I do like to discuss it. A few days ago, my good friend Parsnip Cabbagepaw, who is a Republican, said that he thinks that Obama is more cult leader than politician. To back it up, he posted link to this column in the comments section this morning. I disagree, but it's all fine and good. But he then says that the Republicans would rather face Obama than Hillary, to which I say, "You have lost your mind! Sir!" This is obviously the latest desperate Republican spin in a year in which they have almost no chance of winning, barring a catastrophic event. The only thing Republicans agree on in 2008 is Hillary Clinton, and their common bond is a vile hatred of her. She is the only thing that can bring the Republicans out to vote in large numbers, and if Obama does pull off this upset, those same Republicans will stay home. The Boston Herald writer above simply feels what we all feel at some time or another about the people we choose to follow. Is McCain a bitter, angry man who would let that bitterness control his foreign policy? Would Hillary annoy the living s*** out of us with her phony attempts at sincerity? ("I found my voice!") Hell, I'm sure Obama is a little worried about this responsibility himself. And more importantly, if he is able to run a country anywhere near as effectively he has run his campaign, and if he is able to inspire the country the way he has over the past year, I think it is a chance well worth taking. Your thoughts?
birthdaygeorge.jpg Alright, here's a list of cool presidential fun facts and worthless presidential trivia that you are sure to impress your friends with at the big annual Presidents Day Party. These are all from the first 25 presidents. I'll post the 20th century president facts a little later.
  • When he was inaugurated, George Washington was down to his last real tooth.
  • John Adams last words were, "Thomas Jefferson still survives!" Unbeknowest to Adams, Jefferson had died hours earlier.
  • Thomas Jefferson was the first president to shake hands instead of bowing to people. He died deeply in debt, and Monticello was sold off. It went unoccupied for almost 100 years, falling into a sad state of disrepair before it was made into a monument in the 1920s.
  • James Madison was 5'4" tall, and weighed 98 pounds.
  • In the election of 1820, the immensely popular James Monroe received every electoral vote but one, and ran for president unopposed. The one elector voted against him so that Washington would be the only president elected unanimously.
  • John Quincy Adams had a pet alligator, and had a pool table installed at the White House.
  • Andrew Jackson was a chronic drooler, and suffered from the hives. He was orphaned at age 13. Early in life he had smallpox and dysentery. Later in life he had tuberculosis and dropsy. His wife had a nervous breakdown.He was shot in a duel (he killed the guy who shot him), and since the bullet wasn't able to be removed, he had an infection for the rest of his life.
  • William Henry Harrison's inaugural address was two hours long, despite the fact that it took place in a freezing downpour. He refused to shorten his speech or even put on a coat. He quickly developed a cold, which then became pneumonia, and was dead within a month. His is still the longest inauguration and shortest presidency.
  • Martin van Buren's autobiography doesn't mention his wife once.
  • 20 years after being elected president, John Tyler was elected to the Confederate House of Representatives. He had 15 children by two wives. His first child was born in 1816. The last Tyler child died in 1947.
  • Zachary Taylor didn't vote in the election in which he ran for President. His death is still a mystery. His body was exhumed in 1991 to rule out death by poisoning, but no one is still sure how he died, since the doctors botched the autopsy. The best guess is heatstroke.
  • Millard Fillmore's last words were, "The nourishment is palatable."
  • Franklin Pierce was classmates with Nathaniel Hawthorne and Henry Wadsworth Longfellow at Bowdoin College. After numerous family tragedies, Pierce drank himself to death.
  • Robert Todd Lincoln declined his parent's invitation to attend Our American Cousin the night Lincoln was killed. He was at the train station in New York where Garfield was killed and witnessed it happen. He was at the Pan Am Exposition in Buffalo when William McKinley was killed.
  • Andrew Johnson was illiterate until his wife taught him how to read in his young 20s.
  • Ulysses S. Grant's real name was Hiram Ulysses Grant. He changed it because he didn't want to enter West Point with the initials H.U.G.
  • Rutherford B. Hayes won the 1876 election by one electoral vote.
  • James Garfield could simultaneously write in Latin with one hand and Greek with the other. He was killed not by the bullet shot by Charles Guitaeu, but by the incompetence of his attending physicians. They continually probed the bullet hole with unwashed fingers and instruments, causing the infection that ultimately killed him.
  • Grover Cleveland was sheriff of Erie County, NY. One of his duties was executioner, and he tied the noose and pulled the trapdoor on two convicted murderers.
  • Electricity was installed in the White House when Benjamin Harrison became president. He and his wife were horrified at the prospect of being electrocuted, so they never touched the light switches. The lights remained on at the White House during the entire Harrison presidency.
  • William McKinley was on the front of the now discontinued $500 bill.


hillarytheevilone.jpg The NY Times has thrown its weight behind the one Democratic candidate who can receive, maximum, 51% of the vote come November instead of the one with an unlimited ceiling. They have decided to support the one candidate who will unite a currently fractured Republican Party. And while running against Obama (anti-war from the start, charismatic) would be extremely challenging for the Republicans, the Times thinks the Dems should support the candidate (Hillary, get ready for more flip flops and icy, angry responses to questions she doesn't like) that the right wing will eat alive. Of course, if she is elected president, we will get a bunch of new ideas. Oh, never mind, we'll get one of the two trains of thought that have dominated politics for the last 25 years, the Bush's and the Clinton's. I'm sure that a duarchy is just what Washington, Jefferson, et al, were hoping for when they put the country together. This is a disgrace.
HillaryGiant.jpg If you were one of the few people that had yet to make up their mind about Hillary C., then be sure to watch yesterday's Meet the Press. By the time it is over, you are going to freaking hate her. She is just an angry, miserable woman. If the Republicans are smart enough to nominate McCain (which I'm quite sure they won't be), and the Democrats are dumb enough to nominate Hillary (and I'm confident they are), then I will probably vote for him over Clinton. When she loses that election, maybe she and TO can go to a coffee shop and cry their little heads off.
santasslay.gif Well, the left wing media and the activist judges are at it again, trying to ruin Christmas. It looks like now they're trying to kill Santa Claus. Oh sure, the report says that it was drug runners, but we all know better.

But on a (mildly) more serious note, this Bill O'Reilly "War on Christmas" thing is one of the more idiotic ideas his feeble mind has ever come up with. "Merry Christmas" wasn't even a common phrase until Dickens released a Christmas Carol in 1843, so it's not like we're killing off some ancient tradition. And the word "Holiday" comes from "Holy day", so how are you making this a secular day if you are wishing people a Happy Holy Day? Finally, "X-Mas" is not porn loving left wingers trying to take Christ out of Christmas. "X" is the greek letter "chi", and for centuries, the Greeks have used XMas as an abbreviation for "christ's festival". But perhaps the most sensible thing I've come across about this topic can be read here:
...many Christians are genuinely concerned about the secularization and commercialization of the holiday. But for those who truly want to "put Christ back into Christmas," the answer is in giving more time and attention to religious and charitable activities, not in demanding more Christian symbolism at the place where you shop. Macy's is not a temple.

740508658_l (Custom).jpg Author's Note: The past two weeks have obviously been a whirlwind for me. Since my interview with Mike Huckabee was posted, The Huck has turned into a juggernaut in the polls- his ratings soaring, his popularity increasing with every hit on johnnygoodtimes.com.

Sure, it was revealed that in 1992, The Huck thought that AIDS patients should be isolated from society... In 1992 I thought that Right Said Fred was going to be the next big thing... we all make mistakes! Irregardless, my article was just the springboard that the Huckabee camp needed.

I would like to say that my piece on Dennis Kucinich had the same effect. However, no one has seen D-Train since he left a Los Angeles nightclub early one morning last week with Owen Wilson and Steve Coogan.

That being said, I was quite disheartened to find that, after a number of attempts, I was unsuccessful in landing an interview with Republican candidate Fred Thompson. His staff declined to arrange an interview, and Fred's hot wife, Jeri, is quite snippy when you follow her home from her Pilates class.

Needless to say, I was unable to speak with Mr. Thompson. However, not wanting to disappoint my readers, I figured that I would get the next best thing. Knowing that Fred Thompson is, first, an actor, I decided to interview an actor that reminds me of Mr. Thompson, to perhaps get in his head. I found this to be equally challenging. The following actors were either unavailable or unwilling to grant me an interview:

John Voight
Abe Vigoda
Anthony Hopkins
Hal Linden
Anjelica Huston
Kelsey Grammer
Craig T. Nelson

When all hope seemed lost for this week's column, a miracle occurred. I came across a man who, in this reporter's opinion, is a carbon copy of Fred Thompson in mind, body and soul.

That man is Conrad Bain, TV's Mr. Drummond.

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-Do you know about the Socialist candidate for Mayor, John Staggs? Darth Ern says the socialist run this town, so this guy's probably gonna win in a landslide.

-The rumor that could alter the future of America: Is Hillary Clinton a lesbian? And if so, is she really hooking up with a woman this hot?

-The Metro checks in with Sam Katz on election day.

-"For the first time in the history of the Gallup Poll, 50% say they "strongly disapprove" of the president. Richard Nixon had reached the previous high, 48%, just before an impeachment inquiry was launched in 1974." -in today's USA TODAY.

-Waterboarding got a soldier kicked out of the army in 1968. Today, it is encouraged by the Bush administration, putting America in some pretty dubious company when it comes to promoting torture.

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I was originally gonna write a column about Nixon for the Metro this week, until my editor was like, "What in the hell does Nixon have to do with Arts and Entertainment in Philly?" to which my answer was (blank stare). Anyways, I still think it's kind of a neat look at Nixon, and I think you'll like it. Maybe it'll even bring Bob T. back.

Today is the 33rd anniversary of Richard Nixon stepping down as President to avoid a trial for impeachement. Much has been made of Nixon's gross errors, paranoid delusions, and chicanerous deceptions. But it is unfair to judge his entire presidency by his mistakes. There were numerous successes and some visionary policies. In fact, in some ways, he was one of the most succesful presidents in American history. He is the only man to ever be elected President twice and Vice President twice, and his victory in 1972 was one of the biggest landslides in American history. He was President when man first walked on the moon. Relations with Russia and China were both greatly improved during Nixon's tenure. He was an impressive compromiser, able to succesfully push numerous bills through a Democratic Congress.

"If liberals were pressed to say something nice about Nixon, they'd probably mention his creation of the Environmental Protection Agency, Occupation Safety and Health Administration, and support for the clean water act, school desegregation, and affirmative action," says Kevin Arceneaux, a political science professor at Temple. "By current-day standards, Nixon's domestic policies would be considered centrist, if not left-of-center." In fact, renowned left wing activist Noam Chomsky once called Nixon, "Our last liberal President." And Hunter S. Thompson, who despised Nixon all his life and who worked feverishly to assist George McGovern in 1972, offered him faint praise a few years ago. "Richard Nixon looks like a flaming liberal today, compared to a golem like George Bush. Indeed. Where is Richard Nixon now that we finally need him?"

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Here's the latest. I think it's kinda funny.
P.S. It reads a little choppy on the Metro site, so I am also posting it below.

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Has George Bush revoked the 5th Amendment?
"On its face, this is the greatest encroachment on civil liberties since the internment of Japanese Americans in World War II," said Bruce Fein, a constitutional lawyer who was a deputy attorney general in the Reagan administration and author of an article of impeachment against President Bill Clinton..."King George III," observed Fein, "really would have been jealous of this power."

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Huh, word to mother, I'm dangerous
Crazier than a bag of f****** Angel Dust
When I bust my gat m*****f****** take dirt naps
I'm all that and a dime sack, where the paper at?
-Biggie Smallz

Gavrilo would be turning 113 today if not for his untimely demise in 1918. Gavrilo, if you're out there listening to this, please take note: you make for an excellent quizzo question.


The Mayor is spending his workday waiting in line for an iPhone. And who can blame him? It's not like we are leading the country in murder, so if we he wants to spend a day just lounging around in line , why not? Crisis? What crisis?

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Now, I really hadn't made my decision as to which Democrat candidate I liked the most, but I can now eliminate one from consideration: Hillary Clinton. Any chance she had just flew out the window with her new campaign song, You and I by Celine Dion. If Hillary wants to side with my arch-nemesis, I will actively campaign against her. I mean, seriously, this is pathetic.

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His name was John O'Neill, and I was tooling around on the internet yesterday when I came across him. He was the head of the FBI's terrorism division that was following Bin Laden. He got so frustrated at the incompetence of the FBI and the Bush administration that he quit, and took a job as head of security at the World Trade Center. September 11, 2001 was his 2nd day on the job. He was killed. Here is an excellent Frontline on him. Of course conspiracy theorists have ha a field day with this.

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After calling Bush the worst president in history, Jimmy Carter backed down a little bit on Monday, and said that Bush was just worse than Nixon. Which is another way of saying that he is the worst President ever. Or is Bush less like NIxon and more like another president, and will be vindicated by time?

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The problem with surrounding yourself with dishonorable, shady people is that they tend to do dishonorable, shady things. Paul Wolfowitz, the neocon who really pushed hard for a war in Iraq, has now resigned from World Bank under tremendous pressure for ethics violations. Meanwhile, Alberto Gonzales has been called out yet again for highly questionable behavior, trying to get John Ashcroft to sign off on domestic spying while lying in the ICU. Man, if we only we had a person of honor running this country, a person of integrity, then we wouldn't have worry about these shenanigans. A good, honorable person...like Dick Cheney!!! (Inspired by this gutsy column, I am hereby making johnnygoodtimes.com your official Dick Cheney in '08 Campaign Headquarters!)
Cartoon courtesy of the Guardian.

tn_2007-05-15T175314Z_01_NOOTR_RTRIDSP_2_OUKWD-UK-USA-FALWELL.jpg I went to Radford, and Liberty was our divisional arch rival. Not only were they a short drive from Radford, but they were different from us in every way. They were a bunch of Jesus freaks, and we were a bunch of Milwaukee's Best freaks. So when we played them in the conference tournament at Liberty my senior year, the place went wild. I seem to remember our fans chanting something to the effect of "Je-sus hates you" (clap, clap, clap-clap-clap). The game was close throughout, and I remember, during a timeout in the closing moments of the game, I saw something that both shocked and awed me: Jerry Falwell,at the time in his 60s, was crowdsurfing. There he was, being passed from hand to hand, student to student, from the top of the bleachers down to the bottom, a giant smile on his face. When he reached the bottom, the Liberty faithful went absolutely crazy. And I have to admit, as much as I hated everything the guy stood for, seeing him swept up in the moment of a close basketball game and seeing a chubby 60-something guy rejoice in something so goofy, well, it was kind of cool.
RELATED: How Jerry Falwell changed religion and politics.

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Diane Thompson is running for Municipal Court Judge. She was a member of former quizzo squad Team Hater, so I knew she was good people. I asked her a few questions about the position and why she's running:
1. What exactly are the duties of a municipal court judge?
Municipal Court, criminal division, is the court of original jurisdiction for nearly all preliminary hearings for felonies and homicides (cases involving juvenile victims are heard in juvenile court by Common Pleas judges.) MC judges hold trials for all misdemeanor criminal cases (crimes with punishments up to 5 years in jail, such as simple assault, terroristic threats, harassment, retail theft, dui, etc.) They also hear private criminal complaints. Civil division judges hear landlord - tenant cases, tax appeal cases, small claims up to $10,000, real estate tax cases, etc. MC judges work at the Criminal Justice Center at 1301 Filbert Street, at Municipal Court at 34 S. 11th Street, or at the individual police districts, such as 55th & Pine or Broad and Champlost.

2. Why are you interested in the position?
I like helping people. Many people who appear in Muncipal Court have no attorneys. (Defendants are appointed attorneys in criminal court, however.) Litigants want judges who know how to listen to their cases. I know how to listen. I believe that I have some ideas to alleviate the back log of cases. I would like to initiate more programs in MC court that would help with the non-violent drug crimes. Also, domestic violence cases are a big part of MC court. I have represented both victims and defendants in domestic violence cases and I believe that intervention is key to preventing more violence.

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Dunno if you caught it, but a few weeks ago Bill Moyers absolutely crushed the mainstream media and the pathetic job it did leading up to the War in Iraq. No tough questions for Bush, no coverage of huge antiwar demostrations, and sheer laziness abounded in the lead up to the war. This wasn't surprising from the TV news, since explosions make for great ratings, and we've long since established that they are not in the "news business" but in the "ratings business". But the Washington Post and New York Times also dropped the ball. The beauty of being in the media is that they can constantly attack Bush and friends for what they did before the war without having to judge their own performance leading up to the war. Anyways, I highly encourage you to take the time to watch this. Just click here and then click watch video. This is the best thing I've seen on TV in a while.

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Part 1 - Rankings
1. Dwight Evans-No one has said a bad thing about Evans (Maybe because he's so far down in the Polls) but I find nothing objectionable about him.
2. Tom Knox - I know. I know. Backstabber! Nasty! Worst dye job in the History of Mankind. He's not the second best candidate. He's (alas) the fourth least objectionable.
3. Tie Bob Brady & Chaka Fattah-One says he will. The other ain't saying. But they'll both raise taxes. Brady to pay for patronage; Fattah to pay for votes.
5. Last and least-Michael Nutter. The Drive-By Media endorsed him. STRKE ONE! The Business Killing Smoking Ban.
STRIKE TWO! He'll raise Taxes too. These people can't help themselves. STRIKE THREE! You're Out!

Part 2 - Handicapping
The Socialists will vote for Nutter.
The Unions will vote for Brady
The others:
Whites - Knox
Blacks - Fattah and Evans

Part 3 - Prediction
18% to 24% of living voters will vote.
100% of dead voters will vote.
Brady's in charge of the Vote Counters Hence he'll get all the dead votes ergo he will win the Primary!

Part 4 - Other
The four Republicans still living in Philly will vote for What's-His-Face AKA The Other Guy


Don't know if you saw their tit for tat this past weekend, but it was pretty entertaining. And Geraldo gets a good diss in on Lou Dobbs while he's at it..

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I haven't really talked a lot about politics lately. I haven't needed to, because I could do a post about kittens and within minutes Palestra Jon and EE would be in a heated debate about whether or not kittens support the War in Iraq. But a few things came up this past month that are hard to ignore.

-Rush Limbaugh says that John Edwards made the announcement that his wife has cancer to try to jump start his campaign. Probably in a similar way that Rush uses Oxycontin to jump start his brain.

-Well, at least the leaders of right wing thought aren't using terms like "faggot" to a room full of appreciative conservatives. Oh wait, never mind. Which raises the questions, "How much longer before Skeletor (above,with prominent adam's apple) uses a hateful derogatory slur to describe Obama, and will conservatives applaud that as well?"

-Tom Delay says that anybody that thinks that liberals who think he is guilty of the campaign improprieties he was indicted for are akin to Hitler. Which upsets me. I always thought I was more of an Idi Amin type.

RELATED: Johnny hopes Ann Coulter is hit by bus.
RELATED: Johnny hopes Ann Coulter is eaten by wolves.
RELATED: Johnny hopes Ann Coulter is hit by train.
RELATED: Tom Delay hit by meteor.

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Word on the street is that John Edwards swung by Barristers last night to watch the Duke-VCU game, and he and his entourage were cheering loudly when VCU hit that last second shot to win. A presidential candidate openly cheering against Duke? That is a guy I will go to the wall with. If he needs any volunteers for his campaign in Philly, tell him to look me up.

And you people thought the the War on Drugs was a complete failure. You couldn't be more wrong.

Anybody for gettting up early on Saturday and going down to the Constitution Center? This looks pretty kool. From the Inky. Smerconish is kind of an idiot, but it would be nice to hear McCain, who I am a fan of.
Saturday morning, before the Army-Navy game, radio talker Michael Smerconish is bringing in one of his idols, Sen. John McCain (R., Ariz.) - he'll be rooting for Navy - for a town-hall meeting (topics: state of the nation, war in Iraq, the 2008 presidential race, the usual). The event starts at 9 a.m. at the National Constitution Center. The $12.10 ticket price (after his station, WPHT-1210) goes to the USO and includes admission to the center's exhibits. (Reservations: 215-409-6700.)