April 2008 Archives

My latest on Kerri-Lee's blog is about what a certified genius Paula Abdul is. These videos of her losing her mind, being wasted, or talking in complete gibberish are priceless. Check it out.

Ashley Alexandra Dupre turns 23 today. What was her call girl name?

This annoying actress starred in the Virgin Suicides, Bring It On, and Marie Antoinette.

This former Astros manager and birthday boy was fired last August.

Arrested for cannabis possession two years ago, this musical icon turns 75 today.

This artists first album was called Konvicted, and had songs such as Locked Up and Lonely.

This birthday girl was Gertrude Stein's partner throughout most of her life.

Alright, gonna post pics of last weeks winners below. Questions are about people having birthdays today. One guess per person.

• Don't you hate it when you're doing blow with three transvestite hookers, and all of a sudden things get weird?
• The Jimi Hendrix sex tape has been released, and it has people wondering: how will this affect his career?
• The BBC asks, Does sex addiction exist? Absolutely. Why, just the other day, I was thinking to myself, "Man, I really need to stop having all of this sex. It is completely out of control how much nonstop sex I am having all of the time. I must be some sort of addict. Alas, I guess this is the price I must pay for being so damn irresistable." (Sigh).

Apparently tickets are selling poorly to tomorrow night's Game 6 against the Pistons. What? I mean tickets aren't that expensive, the team, although blown out in the last two games, has taken this series deeper than anyone thought they would, and they are a fun team to watch. Philly.com is giving away almost 100 tickets, and WIP is giving away tickets as well. That means that nobody is buying, and they don't want the arena to look empty for a Game 6 in the playoffs. Playoffs, people! I went last Friday and it was a blast. If I didn't have to work manana, I'd be there again. Crowd energy is such a big part of playoff basketball (thus the huge home court advantage), and it's really lame if we're the only city that can't bring any.

This town is so ridiculous. We've got two teams in the playoffs, the baseball team is hot, and I'll bet you dollars to donuts that if you turn on WIP today, they're talking about the NFL draft and what to do with Lito Sheppard. Well, I don't care if they drop Lito Sheppard into the goddamm river with cement shoes on, we have two teams in the playoffs so screw the Eagles.

Kickin' off at O'Neals (3rd and South) at 8 p.m. Hopefully that tool from last week with the visor will be back, telling me to shut the f*** up when the Sixers game comes on.

On to the Bards, where the Sofa Kingdom has won 5 straight Tuesday night matches, and thus any team that beats them tonight will win a $20 bounty in addition to the $40 gift certificate.

I'm gonna be on the road for the next several hours, so in the meantime I leave you with this to discuss: Has Reverend Wright sabotaged any chance Obama had of being the next President of the United States?

The new Roots album is released today. What was the name of their first album, released in 1993?

Headed down to Virginia on Saturday to spend some time with my niece Lucia (almost ten months!), and will probably stay till manana. Lucia has started crawling and clapping her hands and standing up (with support) in her crib since I last saw her! Dunno if I can get photos of last weeks winners posted until I get back, since I don't have a computer on me (I'm on my friends mom's computer). In the meantime, here's a few things to kick around:

• My latest on Kerrie Lee's blog is about today's weird news, including the latest giant squid info.
• Went to the Sixers game on Friday and was amazed that it wasn't a sellout. In fact not even close. What's the problem? This is an exciting team with lots of loveable players, from rookie phenom Thaddeus Young to workhorse Reggie Evans to point guard/savior Andre Miller (the better half of the AI trade, if you ask me). The team tanked hard in the 2nd half yesterday, but hopefully can pull off another upset at Detroit on Tuesday.
• Today is Harper Lee's 82nd birthday. She has not written a single book since 1960s To Kill a Mockingbird. Here is a very good piece on her and her friendship with Truman Capote.

It was on this date in 1945 that Mussolini, 5 of his guards, and his mistress were executed. There has been a strange cover up with the love letters between Mussolini and his mistress, Clara Petacci. Time magazine reported on their letters in 1952, as the letters were taken over by Italian authorities despite a legal fight by Petacci's relatives to reclaim them. Many of those letters were stolen while in the custody of the Italian government. Another interesting conspiracy theory: that Mussolini was killed by undercover British agents. Oh, and one more interesting thing about Mussolini: Like Hitler, he fancied himself an artist.

Still looking for companies to help sponsor my basketball awards banquet. We have a pamphlet we hand out to the 200+ people who come to the event, plus you will get recognition on this site. It is $10 for a quarter of a page, $20 for half a page, and $30 for a full page ad. 100% of the money goes back into the program. Special thanks to Foobooz, the Philadelphia Rock Paper Scissors League, Bard's, and Lazaro's, who have all signed on as sponsors so far. If you are interested in sponsoring this event, please contact me. Thanks!

O'NEALS

1. Jonesin' For Sam 105
2. This Is Not a Bus 103
3. Young Old and Restless 97
4. We Got Nothin' 92
5. Suck IT Super Tuesday 85

BARDS (Tuesday)

1. Sofa Kingdom 115
2. Just the Tip 91
3. Narkotyzing 88
4. Hillary's Downstairs 73
5. Girls Gone Oscar Wilde 59

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

1. But My Mom Says I'm Cool 85
2. The Jams 81
3. 1022 76
4. Susan's Peters 76
5. Tom & Kathleen 72

BLACK SHEEP

1. The Axis of Evil Knieval 97
2. Duane's World 88
3. CatDog 86
4. Surrender Hillary 76
5. Queef Latina 75

GOOD DOG

1. Oakwood Revisited 89
2. I Did Blow With Barack 88
3. Tallstones 81
4. Ku-nu 80
5. We'Re Not Bank Tellers 79

BARDS (Thursday)

1. Hurtin' Bombs 102
2. Sofa Kingdom 101
3. Anal Bum Covers 98
4. Don't Sit in Front 94
5. Western Omelette 92

• Check out my latest post on Kerri Lee's blog. This one's about strange festivals in May.


• Quick note to Chet Bumstead: If I am flirting with a couple of cute girls after quizzo at the Bards, please don't don't grab my ass and scream "Come on honey, I'm ovulating." It really hurts my already very, very weak game.


• First the questionable goal, then the questionable penalty call. Did the Flyers get hosed last night?


• Let's Go Sixers! I'm actually gonna be at the game tonight (My first ever NBA playoff game). Look for me on tv. I'll be the guy whose seat is about 200 yards from the court. Still, it should be a blast.

Well gang, Darth Ern is retiring from his job to spend more time at the Death Star. I am sure that everyone here wants to send Darth retirement wishes below, so feel free to do so. And if you want to see the Prince of Darkness in person, his retirement party is tonight at the Locust Rendezvous, starting at 5 p.m. Best wishes Darth!

Johnny's good friend and occasional co-host (as well as Philly's official Queen of Beer) the Lovely Ginger turns 30 today. That's right 30. Girl, you'll be a woman soon! Anyways, if you wanna wish Ginger (aka Suzanne Woods) a Happy Birthday, hit her up at Myspace. And if you wanna wish her a happy b-day in person, she'll be holding court at Jose Pistollas between 6-8 p.m.

The world is a strange place, people. I'm going to be a contributing blogger at Kerri-Lee's blog over the next few weeks, and I posted my first bit today. I met Kerri Lee yesterday and all she talked about was how much she loves D-Mac. Does that mean I can convince Kerri-Lee to join me, D-Mac, and the gang for a little American Gladiator viewing starting next month? Of course not. She has better sense than that. But due to a momentary lapse of reason she has allowed me to blog on her site, and it should be fun.

Here's my latest in the Metro about Ben Franklin being a serial killer. I think that a lot of people will just think I've lost it, but this is actually a true story. Here's a newspaper article about it when it first occurred. Also, the woman from the Ben Franklin House in london who was nice enough to get back to me also said this: There is still ongoing research being done at the Department of Archeology at University College London on the bones to determine exactly where the surgical school was (the bones were found in what was the garden) and what surgical techniques were used.

Alright gang, I've been doing this long enough without a logo and it's time to get one. But since I am lazy and not very artistic (with the exception of my rapping) I want you to come up with a logo for Johnny Goodtimes Quizzo. Whoever creates the best logo will get $100 worth of gift certificates to various local restaurants. ($25 each to L2, Cebu, House of Kabob, and Sansom Street Oyster house). Of course, you will also get the glory of a photo on the website. So get crackin' on photoshop and get me a logo. I'll give ya a week to come up with one. Send your logos to johnnygoodtimes@hotmail.com.

One of the basketball leagues I coach in is having their banquet on May 3rd, and I need to get some sponsors for the event program they will be handing out to the people at the banquet. The prices are ridiculously cheap ($30 for a full page ad, $20 for half page ad) and you will be helping out a good cause. (It helps pay for the league, which has provided an extremely positive environment for hundreds of children.) If you wanna donate to the program, please hit me up asap. Thanks!

Wawa is leaving the city. The Wawa at the corner of 20th and Chestnut is going to be closing at the end of the month, and I have it on good authority that the others will close when their leases expire. Which means that a) they are turning their backs on some of their most loyal customers and that b) the spokewoman I spoke with a couple of months ago when I did a story on the Rittenhouse Wawa was less than truthful with me and in, turn, Philadelphians when she said that they weren't leaving the city.

"This is not the beginning of a pullout of Center City Wawa's," said Bruce, who disputes rumors that the company is focusing on building Super Wawas, which are larger and include gas pumps. -Philadelphia Metro 2/27/2008

Really? Six of ten pulling out of Center City since 2000 and no new ones being built is not a "pullout"? (I guess technically she is correct, since the pullout began in 2000.) I will never eat at a Wawa in the burbs or get gas from one, and I highly encourage you to do the same. Screw Wawa. We in Center City have loyally supported them for years, and they return the favor by dumping us and lying to us while doing so. P.S. I say this not because I hate Wawa but because I have come to really love it and depend on it and I am sad and frustrated to see it go, especially this way.

Well gang, this is one of those times that you need to appreciate the moment. The Flyers pulled it off in highly dramatic fashion last night (how the Caps didn't score as they continually assaulted the net in the 3rd period is anyone's guess), then the Phillies followed suit by pulling off a thrilling win thanks to Pat the Bat. He is playing like a man in a contract year possessed. And not to mention that the Sixers pulled off a huge upset in Game One and look to keep it going against the Pistons tonight. Good times, people. Enjoy them.

Dunno if you are familiar with the Johnny Cash song "Don't Take Your Guns to Town". Amazing song. Anyways, I was just tooling around on Youtube and discovered the above gem.

This one time governor of Minnesota ran for Mayor of Philadelphia in 1960 and ran for President nine times. Unsuccesfully, I might add.

Press release I received this morning:

April 22, 2008 (PHILADELPHIA)- The City of Brotherly Love can now be known as the City of Mallardly Love thanks to the efforts of the Shut the Duck Up! Campaign. Their endeavors to muffle the noisy vehicles of the Philadelphia Ride the Duck Tour Company are helping more city residents than merely offended pedestrians.

The popular "quackers" distributed to Duck Boat riders are indistinguishable from call of a real Mallard hen. World Champion Waterfowl Caller and Call-Maker Sean Mann, corroborated the effectiveness of these souvenir quackers stating that "very lonely ducks" are likely to be drawn to the alluring snare of the Duck Boat calls. Philadelphia neighborhoods effected by the Duck Boat tour route have experienced a spike in traffic incidents involving duped loner ducks, who have become disoriented by the imitation calls and inadvertently cause automotive accidents.

The growing congregation of deluded ducks has also attracted the attention of the waterfowl's natural predators. Recent sightings of fox, raccoons, and stray dogs patrolling the route of the Duck Boats has neighborhoods up in arms over the increased disappearances of family cats, and daily nuisance of having to manage overturned trash cans and recycling bins.

Shut The Duck Up! are the sole activist group in Philadelphia concerned with the safety of local ducks and neighborhoods effected by the ignorant oversights of the Philadelphia Ride the Duck Tour Company. Their mission statement resolves to earn the respect from the Ride the Duck Company and to work towards a symbiotic relationship between the Tour Company and all residents of Philadelphia, fowl or friend.
PREVIOUSLY: Shut the Duck Up Video.

Do it early and often!

On Saturday afternoon, Glenn Macnow and some other celebrity judges voted for the best cheesesteak in the city. John's Roast Pork came out the winner. No controversy there. But it was the 3rd place finisher that ruffled some feathers over at Foobooz last week. Chink's Steaks, who finished third, got a thorough haranguing from Kirsten Henri due to it's racist name. What are your thoughts? Should Chink's Steaks be forced to change their name?

This excellent 1998 film starred Samuel L. Jackson.

This eccentric 18th century baron was commemorated by Terry Gilliam in a 1988 film.

Due to McCarthyism, the Cincinnati Reds changed their name in the 1950s. What did they change it to?

What city had an NHL team called the Barons in the late 1970s?

Who were the male and female leads in the movie Reds?

This AWA wrestler was one of the most hated heels in the sport, and was famous for "The Claw".

Alright, gonna post pics of last weeks winners. Since it was on this date in 1917 that the Red Baron was shot down, all questions will be about Barons and Reds. One guess per person.

Remember last year, when the Phillies were like 86-60 at games I didn't attend, and 3-13 at games I did attend? What a difference a year makes. Thus far this year, the Phils are 4-0 at games I attend, and 5-10 in games I don't. It is becoming increasingly obvious to everyone with any sense that I am going to be an integral part of this team's success this season.

O'NEALS

1. Young, Old and Restless 110
2. L. Ron Hubbard's Diabetics 100
3. We Got Nothin' 100
4. Hipster Holocaust 92
5. Flying High 83

BARDS

1. Sofa Kingdom 108
2. Western Omelette 89
3. The Guy Who Does His Job 83
4. Just a Grope to See How JGT Feels 66
5. Kensington Kitty Cat Killers 65

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

1. The Jams 114
2. Bitter People Clinging to Guns 107
3. Holo Rock 79
4. My Mom Says I'm Cool 65
5. Susan's Peter's 61

BLACK SHEEP

1. Axis of Evil Knieval 107
2. Satan's Minions 106
3. Duane's World 100
4. There's Always $ in the Banana Stand 84
5. Herve Villechaize 83

GOOD DOG

1. Fort Awesome 90
2. Lamda 88
3. Underachiever 88
4. Yuppie Douchebags 75
5. The Whiffle Balls 55

BARDS

1. Aiuto! No Prostituta 110
2. Hurtin Bombs 109
3. Western Omelette 101
4. Sofa Kingdom 98
5. Tatatata Touch Me 97

Oh yeah, I almost forgot I had one more review. Last Saturday I went and saw the Rocky Balboa Picture Show, which consisted of three shorts. The first one was called Rocky Jumped Over a Park Bench, and it was hilarious. Basically, the guy hosting it was a big Rocky fan and went to all of the spots in the area where Rocky's 1-6 were filmed to see how they look today. Really great stuff, and apparently he'll have it uploaded to Youtube in a week or so, so I'll post a link once he does. Next up was Frankie 13 vs. the World. This one was a little weird. I couldn't tell if they were trying to make a documentary or a movie. Either way, I thought they took Rock Paper Scissors a little too seriously. Not a bad film (and D-Mac and I had cameos!), but RPS is a minefield of comedic opportunity, and I thought it coulda been a little funnier. That being said, I still got mad love for Frankie 13, and look forward to destroying him in upcoming RPS matches. Finally, the night ended with This is My Cheesesteak. This was a flat out winner. I know I kind of get down on the ubiquity of cheesesteak culture in Philly sometimes, but this film was just flat out fun. Basically, a guy named Ben Daniels visited six of Philly's most beloved cheesesteak shops and hung out with the owners of each, and got the story behind each one. He then had some fun by showing them a Hot Pockets cheesesteak and had them all try one. The results were hilarious. A true love story told by a former native now living elsewhere. You can buy this film by clicking here, and I highly recommend doing so. You are going to love this film.

All of Philly's best comedy troupes are putting on a show tonight at the M Room that I highly recommend. Seriously, I've seen all of these guys perform and they are really talented and I really think Philly needs to do a better job supporting comedy. We've got guys here who are just as talented as anything New York has to offer, but Philly just doesn't show 'em the love NYC shows. Make it happen! The Welcome to the Terrordome show kicks off at the M Room at 9 p.m., and is well worth the trip to Fishtown. Tix are only $10. I'm gonna try to make it, but I have to announce a basketball game between halfway houses (my life is weird) so it depends on when I can get out.

I have a meeting (could be interesting), so I'll be back in the afternoon. In the meantime, ABC is getting flat out blasted for its debate questions on Wednesday night. What were your thoughts?

Colbert's trip to the Constitution Center was downright hilarious.

74 degrees and sunny. Can't pick a better day to go to the ballpark. In the meantime, check out my latest in the Metro (I wonder if people are looking down at that clock on 17th and Chestnut) or read more about the Californian, the ship that failed to come to Titanic's aid. The captain, Stanley Lord, became the scapegoat for the Titanic disaster. There is a still a vigorous debate about whether or not the Californian could have saved the passengers of the Titanic.

Oh really? How can you call this a free country when a guy can't even drive around with an alligator in the back of his car and a water moccasin under the seat? Huh?

Seriously, though, you know what's most amazing about this story? It's that having a pet water moccasin in his car isn't even the dumbest thing about this guy. No, there is nothing, not even having a pet alligator, you can do that is stupider than being white and having dreadlocks. Nothing. If I saw a white guy with normal hair jump into a pool full of killer whales and a white guy with dreadlocks solve the Riemann hypothesis, and I'd still think the white guy with dreadlocks was stupider. Cut your damn hair.

So I went down to Pumpkin to grab a chicken salad and while I was waiting, I ventured over to the little thrift store across the street. As I'm flipping through the CDs, a woman wanders in and she and the owner start talking about how they're expecting Obama at the Philadelphia Tribune in about half an hour. I bought a CD , grabbed my chicken salad and headed home for my camera. I quickly changed shirts (from a Coors Lite shirt into my Phillies T. Oh, like you would have let Obama see you with a Coors Lite shirt on.), grabbed my camera and headed back toward 16th and South. There were cops on the corner, but I just cruised past them and walked down to the Tribune. The staff was all waiting outside (almost all of the men were wearing extremely sharp, colorful suits and looked like old timey newsmen. Very cool.) Apparently they had had to evacuate so the bomb dogs could come through. The ladies were giggling about Obama. A guy wandered over from a nearby construction site and asked me, "Whose heading over here, Obama?" I told him yes and he and I sort of hung out there, the only two non staffers waiting for the candidate. We started talking about the Phillies, and discussed the Santana-Hamels match up on Friday. One of the older Secret Service men wandered over and said, "I think Hamels could turn out to be another Koufax. He's really something." A police car pulled up, with one of those black cars that the bad guys used in Twister right behind it. Obama stepped out of the bad guy Twister car and called out, "Hey, how's everybody doing today?" The staff hollered back "Great", and he said, "Where we headed?" Security pointed to the door, but he said, "Let's go meet these good people first." He walked over, and I definitely got a little bit star struck. OK, so a lot starstruck. Probably the most startstruck I've been since I saw ?uestlove at Superfresh a couple of years ago. He was shaking hands and he reached back over towards me and said, "How are you?" as he stuck out his hand. I wanted to say something witty and urbane, really leave an impression, you know. So that later, when he was with his wife, he would say, "A guy in a Phillies shirt said the most profound thing today." However, all I could stumble out was a course, "Fine" and with that he was shaking the next hand. I wandered home. You can see the hand (below) that shook Obamas tonight at the Rendezvous and the Black Sheep. I promise not to wash it beforehand, and I will let you take pictures of it if you'd like. (There's another photo after the jump.)

Here's a round from quizzo last week: Fictional Bands and Musicians. Answers and music videos (including the last one, which is downright incredible) after the jump.

1. What was the name of the band in O Brother Where Art Thou?
2. In what movie did a band called Kathleen Turner Overdrive change their name to Barry Jive and the Uptown Five?
3. This saxophonist was Lisa Simpsons mentor, and lost all of his money on faberge eggs.
4. What was Eminems rap name in 8 Mile?
5. On what TV show did Frank and Mac argue about whether to name their band Chemical Toilet or the Pecan Sandies?
6. What was Andy Kaufamn's alter ego, the lounge singer?
7. What man, with an advanced degree, had a backup band called the Electric Mayhem?
8. In what movie did Al Martino play a singer named Johnny Fontane?
9. When the Blues Brothers played at the bar that had both kinds of music, country and western, what did they change their name to?
10. This Elvis impersonator was WWF Intercontinental champion for much fo the late 1980s.

It was on this day in 1943 that Albert Hoffman took the first ever dose of LSD and went for a bike ride. In case you are wondering, Albert is now 102 years old and going. He thinks that LSD is "medicine for the soul" and that it shouldn't be outlawed. Here's an article on him that was done two years ago by the New York Times. In honor of this day, I highly encourage you to do hallucinogenics before returning to work this afternoon. It will make the work day just fly by, and the boss will be impressed by your "outside the box" ideas.

Went to the Prince last night to see the Richie Ashburn movie, and it was simply tremendous. Emotions ran high right off the bat, as Harry the K came out to give a short intro. At the end of it, he said, "It'll make you laugh, it'll make you cry" and his eyes began to water. The film then began and Harry's words rang true. There were numerous moments of hilarity, such as when person after person testified about how much Whitey hated pitchers, followed by Ashburn saying, "They cheat. They spit on the ball. They cut the ball. They're not a group with very good character. Never trust a pitcher. I wouldn't want my daughter to marry a pitcher." It also showed him bemoaning woeful decisions made by the Phillies over the years, and talked about the tennis rivalry between he and Nails. The movie was an emotional roller coaster, and the footage of Ed Rendell's incredible speech at his funeral almost had me lose it. But the film, which was narrated by Ashburn's best friend, Harry, ended on a high note, and the movie was followed by a Q & A with the producer (Dan Stephensen) and with Phillies legend Robin Roberts (both of whom deservedly received standing ovations). Somebody in the crowd asked Robin, who was Whitey's roommate, "If Richie hated pitchers so much, how did you two get along?", to which Roberts replied dryly, "We didn't." All in all, a terrific film and a wonderful night. If you are at all a fan of baseball (and especially of the Phillies) then this movie, which will be out on DVD in a week, is an absolute must see. RELATED: A short clip of the film.

It was on this date in 1865 that Abe Lincoln died from the gunshot wound he received from John Wilkes Booth. Lincoln had actually seen Booth perform on stage in 1863 at Ford's Theatre. What play did Lincoln watch Booth perform in?

• I assume you saw the Colbert Report last night, with Nutter and Ben Franklin. If not, check it out.
• Speaking of Nut, here's a pretty interesting article about him and his decision to support Hillary in the NY Times.
• Traci Lords pitched a sitcom to award winning comedy writer Ken Levine. Here's how it went down. We met her at her manager’s office and to answer the obvious first question – she still looked pretty great. Not smoking hot but she made the transition into legal age very nicely. However, one thing was painfully apparent after two minutes – she was seriously unfunny.
• Bill Cosby is coming out with a rap CD. The first single off the CD is a song called "Stop, Puddin' Pop, and Lock It."

Trivia Art made an appearance on Throwdown with Bobby Flay last night. Things went pretty smoothly until the 1:49 mark, when Art says of the sandwich, "It was an explosion of taste in my mouth." Needless to say, he will not live that line down for the remainder of his natural life. It is, without question, my favorite TV moment since Bill Henley told Miss America that she had a nice box. Next time you see Art, be sure to tell him that seeing him on TV was like an explosion of taste in your mouth.

This actor played Ray's brother Robert in the show Everybody Loves Raymond.

This actress starred as Daphne in the original Scooby Doo movie and turns 31 today.

This Temple player was taken by the Denver Nuggets with the 8th pick of the 1991 draft.

Wow! This former teen star, who more recently starred in the Dead Zone, turns 40 today. Man, that makes me feel old.

This famous New York policeman, played by Al Pacino in a 1973 film, was born on this date in 1936.

Anne Sullivan was born on this date in 1866. She was most famous for being whose teacher?

Alright, gonna post pics of last weeks winners, with questions about people having a b-day today. One guess per person.

O'NEALS

1. Charlton Heston's Cold Dead Hands 99
2. We Got Nothin' 88
3. Young Old and Restless 77
4. Cutty McWhat? 57

BARDS (Tuesday)

1. Sofa Kingdom 115
2. Hurtin' Dysfunktion 109
3. Western Omelette 98
4. Long Ball Larry 96
5. Your Quiz is on my Bum 84

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

1. Susan's Peters 94
2. The Jams 86
3. Mustache Riders 85
4. Alley Oop 75
5. No Name Girls 61

BLACK SHEEP

1. The Axis of Evil Knieval 109
2. It's So Damn Hot In Here 104
3. Herve Villechaize 100
4. Three's Company 98
5. Bosnian Snipers 96

GOOD DOG

1. Lamda 95 (won in OT)
2. Fort Awesome 95
3. American Double D Disorder 90
4. Shomer Shabbas 77
5. Positive Guaiacs 73

BARDS (Thursday)

1. Hurtin Bombs 114
2. Sofa Kingdom 103
3. If You're So Good at Being...96
4. Western Omelette 83
5. Sex Farm Woman 81

Remember in Middle School, when you heard that Guns 'N' Roses were coming out with a new album, Chinese Democracy, and you just knew it was going to kick ass? And remember how now you are in your 30s and it's been 10 years since you drank six shots of whiskey in a half hour while listening to Use Your Illusion II? Yeah, well anyways, now that you're old and have children and thought that the latest Kenny G album was "satisfactory, if a little overproduced", I have news: Guns n' Roses is coming out with a new album called Chinese Democracy.

Ken Jennings is listing his favorite bands in each state, and I gotta admit, I'm amazed at how many good bands Ken Jennings knows. In Pennsylvania it's the Roots, and in New York he throws out Public Enemy but gives it to Velevet Underground. Then he makes a call that really makes me think that he and I are two peas in a pod: Virginia: Okay, I’ll be damned if I’m going to put Phish and Dave Matthews Band right in a row. Screw you, jam bands. Does the Carter Family count? Fine, GWAR then. GWAR could chew Dave Matthews up and spit him out. Now, I don't really like GWAR, but the fact that he gave it to a somewhat obscure heavy metal band over the dreadful DMB gets MAJOR props from me. He also gave Connecticut to Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, who I think are a bit overrated but still think it's amazing that a Mormon from the middle of nowhere has heard of them.

In Florida, I disagree (Skynard over Tom Petty in my book), but am impressed that he trashes the garbage from there. Florida is clearly the First State of Sucky Bands. Creed, Matchbox Twenty, Limp Bizkit…and that’s before I even get to the boy bands.

In Hawaii, he goes with Pepper, which is wow. I am amazed that he's heard of them. They are from Kona (the town I lived in), and I saw them live once with about 25 other people. This is like seeing your buddies high school band getting props from Ken Jennings.

In Maryland he goes with Good Charlotte, but is quick to point out that they are the only group from Maryland he's ever heard of.

All in all, a pretty impressive list. (Stumbled onto via D-Mac.)

Today's column is on one of the most fascinating (and underrated) people of the 20th century, Paul Robeson. Hard to do him justice in 350 words, so I heartily suggest you do some more reading about him.

JohnniE pointed this 54 hour trivia event out to me last night, and I did a little research on it today. Pretty interesting. It's been going on since 1969, and I still haven't completely figured out how it works, but apparently, people play in teams of like 25, there are 450 teams, and the radio station asks questions on-air. The teams then figure it out, and get points awarded on some convoluted scale depending on how many teams there are. It's going down this weekend. The video above is the trailer for a movie they did about it a few years ago. Here's some more info:

• Here's the basics of it. Here are some sample questions from 1987-1995, and they are downright impossible.


• If you are a complete and total trivia nerd (and you are) you can listen to this years contest via live streaming.


• Here is the official website.


• Finally, I think we should do a trivia marathon. Like the 24 hours of Le Mans, except with trivia. Don't ya think?

...that didn't realize that Alan THicke had a son who is a singer? I just found this out. This song is downright awful, but kind of hilarious because I just pretend that Alan Thicke is singing it.

Today I was in the Old City area so I decided to check out a movie called the Art of Travel. A film about a 19 year old who finds out that his fiancee (yeah, he's getting married at 19) is cheating on him with his brother. So at his wedding, he puts envelopes with a pic of his brother and his bride in bed together. (Because if you're going to cheat on your husband with his brother, you're going to take photos to commemorate the occasion.) It only gets dumber from there. He flies to Managua, and instantly meets up with two ridiculously hot girls from the Netherlands and has a three way with them. Because that's what happens to 19 year olds when they go to Managua. He then meets a couple who convince him to go hiking through the woods with them and some of their friends (one of whom happens to be a ridiculously hot Panamanian girl). They hack through the jungle with machetes for months on end, for no good reason. Just to do it.

The dialogue was amazing, with such gems as: "I've learned more here in the last 9 months than I did in all of high school. About myself, anyway." By 45 minutes in, our unflappable 19 year old star had a) jilted his wife at the altar b) had all of his money stolen c) been mugged at knifepoint for his watch d) banged two of the hottest women ever e) met a jungle tribe f) saved the life of one of his cohorts by courageously pulling him out of an out of control jeep g) beaten everyone in the camp at chess and h) almost been bitten by the world's most dangerous snake. All of this, mind you, without ever getting at all excitable or emotional or even breaking a sweat, just accepting that these things happen. This moviewas what Indiana Jones would be if Indiana Jones sucked.

Start off at the Locust Rendezvous at 6:15 p.m., where the question must be answered: Can anyone knock off the Jams?

On to the Black Sheep at 8 p.m., which is probably the current quizzo spot with the most parity. Hope to see you tonight!

A day after Joey Vento demanded an apology from Mayor Nutter, he got one (below). And hey Joey, congratulations on your cheesesteaks finishing 35th in the city! Might wanna spend a little less time in front of the cameras with that turd eating grin on your face and a little bit more time in the kitchen, since people in Philly are giving your steaks about as much respect as they give a Steak 'Um. Just kidding. 35th is pretty good. I think you get a trophy for that.

RELATED: Ya Slippin' by BDP.

There is a kid in South Jersey who is going to take you out. This hit list of his was obviously not a joke, but a real terroristic threat, and I'm sure the newscasters are giving their "serious solemn faces" when giving this report, even though it includes Chuck Norris. I remember in the 8th grade when I said something smart-ass to a girl in my Latin class named Karen R. She stood up, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "I've put together a hit list, and your name is next." Then she dramatically stormed out of the room. Everybody in class did that "oooooooh" thing, but nobody thought to call the cops. UPDATE: The terrorist kid in South Jersey and a bunch of his buddies recently took on Chuck Norris in a fight. Here is some exclusive video of what happened next.

...bummer about the last ever home opener in Shea. Hate to see that happen. Oh well, I'm sure you'll do better tommorrow. No way you're gonna lose TEN straight to the Phillies. Right?

He plays quizzo at a place called the Fox and the Hounds in LA (apparently not part of the chain). And apparently he's not as dumb as he looks. His team finished 2nd.

The man who directed the movie Deadline U.S.A. was a Philadelphia native. Who was he?

Went to see Deadline USA with Sarah, who many of you have seen working on the quizzo documentary. Deadline USA is an old Humphrey Bogart film that for some reason never made it to video or DVD. Here were her thoughts: A rarely seen but superb film showcasing the drive and passion of dedicated journalists getting the news to the people, Deadline USA focuses on a hard-nosed editor, Ed Hutcheson (Bogart) who races against several clocks as he attempts to save The Day. He is trying to save his paper that will go under with its imminent sale, woo back his ex-wife and bring a murderous mobster to justice.

Mrs. Garrison (Ethel Barrymore), the widow of the founder of The Day, along with her two spoiled, whiny daughters that make Paris and Nicky seem tolerable, are in negotiations to sell the paper. Hutcheson sallies forth business as usual until the press stops running in just a few short days. He sends a reporter out to follow up on a lead involving the mobster only to find the reporter badly beaten - fueling his desire to send the paper and the mobster out with a bang. In the midst of the court battles over the future of the paper and chasing leads on the mobster, Hutcheson makes time to woo back his wife Nora (Kim Hunter) who is engaged to another man. Bogart, of course, handles it all with aplomb; convincing Mrs. Garrison to fight against her daughters for the paper, interrogating a witness of the murder, and romancing his ex. All in a days work for this unflappable editor. But that's not all--

In between court cases and romantic dinners, Hutcheson stops one of the lamest fights ever on screen between a couple of his journalists; mentors a young, impressionable, wannabe journalist: "About this wanting to be a reporter, don't ever change your mind. It may not be the oldest profession, but it's the best;" and gives and receives a verbal pummeling with the ex's new beau (fellas, if you're looking to steal another man's dame or keep yours from being taken - watch and learn).

Despite Bogart's stellar turn, there are a few melodramatic scenes that bring things down...especially the wake scene held by the journalists for the paper. The score becomes unbearably hymnal and the dialogue ridiculous. There's also the completely random and creepy scene where Hutcheson - in a supposed romantic gesture - gives his ex a doll that winks when it's arm is raised. I don't know what that was about but, guys - dolls are creepy, period. Don't go there.

Melodrama and creepy dolls aside, Deadline USA is a pretty impressive film about old school journalism that still resonates today.

JGT's take: Yeah, this was a pretty fun film that was supposed to be about journalism but is really all about Humphrey Bogart being cool under fire. The innuendo between Hunter and Bogart was pretty hot and for the time, extremely risque. There were a few silly and unnecessary melodramatic touches, but the story and the camerawork were both impressive. And the final line was vintage Bogey: "That's the press, baby. And there's nothing you can do to stop it." All in all, a good, but not great, movie.

Total Ownage wins the pool, due to a total chokage by Memphis. Kids, work on your free throws.

Good luck tonight to Adam and Total Ownage. If Memphis wins, Adam gets the $100 in gift certificates, if Kansas wins, Total Ownage does. As for me, I am 72nd out of 73 people entered. Brackets are dumb, anyways.

Tried to go see a movie on Friday night, but it was sold out, so I spent Friday night hanging out in Old City (Plough and Stars, followed by Triumph, both pretty decent spots, provided you get out of Plough before 11 p.m.) Had better luck on Sunday. Saw Bogart film Deadline USA with Sarah (review coming manana) and Dangerous Parking with Andy. If anyone is interested in checking something out tonight around 7ish, let me know. Here is Andy's review for Dangerous Parking: Dangerous Parking is the kind of film I'd never really recommend anyone seek out, but would love to talk about after they'd seen it anyway. Its flawed, loses its identity about halfway through, and becomes so disjointed that its really two films presented under the same banner. However, it does confront alcoholism and addiction in a way that can make any "professional drinker" reflect. The problem with Dangerous Parking isn't its message. It really does gets into the main character Noah Arkwright's booze and blow problems in a lighthearted and funny way. The film uses jump cuts and post-production animations to flash back and forward to funny drinking stories, and not so funny binges, and kept me interested, entertained and engaged. The problem comes when Noah gets himself domesticated. Maybe I find drinking stories more fun than love stories (and that's going to get me immortalized in film one day), but I think the real reason is the film completely changes personality. Noah's still there, and he still struggles with his demons, but the film goes from in your face and comedic about one bad thing (addiction), to a soft and romanticized touch about another (cancer). It could be the nature of the two diseases, but I question why you'd talk about Noah's first fight in a"fun" way and then change gears and talk about the second fight in a "miserable" way. In the end, Dangerous Parking had Johnny and I talking for 20 minutes afterwards, and I think that's what I'll take from it most. The film is not forgettable, but is a missed opportunity at what could have been a better film.

JGT's take: Yeah, I'm in cahoots with Andy on this one. Another thing that was really annoying was the cussing. I'm no saint, but I honestly bet this guy dropped the f-bomb more than Pesci in Goodfellas, and to less effect. One good thing about the film Andy failed to mention: the women in it are stunningly gorgeous, somehow much hotter than most women in Hollywood flicks. But yeah, it tried to be a combo meal: come for the wacky tale of battling addiction and stay for the uber-depressing cancer filled conclusion. Shoulda picked which film it wanted to be.

Exclaimer of one of the greatest quotes in Philly sports history. And the fact he got taken to the woodshed for it is another grand display of what utter geniuses Eagles fans are. I mean, the team was losing 21-6 with like two minutes left in the game when it happened. Guy is making a couple million a year. Who in the holy hell is he going to risk his health and livelihood to catch a meaningless pass in a meaningless game? A moron. That's why Eagles fans just couldn't understand Ricky's logic, because their skulls are so thick they would have done something as stupid as blow a multi-million dollar job to catch a meaningless pass. For who, for what indeed.

This 1993 thriller, directed by Sydney Pollack and starring Gene Hackman, takes place in Memphis.

Kansas had two million selling hits. One was Dust in the Wind. What was the other one?

Who wrote and recorded the awful song, "Walking In Memphis"?

Who was coach of Kansas when they last won the national championship?

Memphis is named after an ancient capital in what country?

In what town will you find the University of Kansas?

Alright gonna post pics of last week's winners with questions underneath about either Memphis or Kansas. One guess per per person.

QB IV is now history, but before we move on, I did want to acknowledge a few folks. First of all, the good people at Zipcar for their help. People asked me, "Why didn't you go with Philly Car Share?", and the bottom line is that they weren't interested in helping with QB IV and Zipcar was. In my book, score one for Zipcar for helping out local small business. Also, wanna thank the Locust Rendezvous. They were a huge help, and I hope that when you guys are thinking about where to grab your next drink, you consider the Rendezvous. An extremely friendly staff, one of the few places in Center City that serves pitchers, great prices, and a room full of characters that come free of charge. Speaking of beer, I got a lot of compliments regarding our choice of suds. Sly Fox came up huge, and $25 for all you can drink of top quality beer is almost unheard of, and I want to thank them for making that happen. The Beauty Shop Cafe, my neighborhood coffee shop, decided that they wanted to help out as well. Great spot on 20th and Fitzwater. Free wireless, great coffee, great tea, great bakes goods. The Philly Pretzel Factory gave us a couple hundred free pretzels, and though I never got time to eat one, I heard they were a hit. And to Mental Floss, for hooking us up with all of those magazines.

A few individuals I want to thank as well. Vaughn and Eric of Axis of Evil Knieval came up HUGE, not only going out to Royersford to get the kegs, but then dragging them up three flights of stairs. Vaughn then stayed and help with the myriad of duties that we were working on in the hours leading up to the show. The show literally would not have come off without all of the help I got from a number of other people as well: Suzy/Ginger (did programs and helped grade papers), Trivia Art (did scoresheets and computer scoring program, as well as posted info on his site), D-Mac (promotional help), Chip Chantry (not only helped with halftime show, but also graded papers and kept score on computer), Corey and Liz (the bartenders), the WID, and Black Elvis and the Burnin Loves. Janella, Ms. Carol, and Ms. Michael at the Blue Horizon were absolutely a joy to work with. And of course a special thanks to my Mom and Dad, who ran a million small errands in the last few days to help make sure we got all the food, sodas, napkins, etc. we needed. Finally, thank you guys for making it all the way up to North Broad to play quizzo on a cool spring night. I hope you all had as much fun as I did, without screaming and cussing as much as I did in the hours leading up to the event (much of which was captured by the documentary crew, embarrassingly enough), and hope to see you again next year when we do it again!

O'NEALS

1. Dorksided 90
2. Young, Old, Restless 88
3. It's My Democratic Party and I'll Cry If I want To 80
4. We Got Nothin' 73
5. April Tomfoolery 72

BARDS (Tues.)

1. Sofa Kingdom 106
2. Western Omelette 103
3. Narcotyzing Dysfunktion 101
4. Fellatio Alger Story 92
5. Hoffecker's Ho's 84

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

1. The Jams 110
2. Amazing Norvege 99
3. My Mom Says I'm Cool 91
4. Herman's Hermits 91

BLACK SHEEP

1. The Axis of Evil Knieval 108
2. Duane's World 102
3. Pac Man Fever 102
4. There's Always Money in the Banana Stand 101
5. Surrender Hillary 96

GOOD DOG

1. Fort Awesome 96
2. Popular Nobodies 62
3. Adam Eaton's ERA is...60
4. Her First Time 57
5. The Underachievers 54

BARDS

1. Sofa Kingdom 108
2. Western Omelette 105
3. Hurtin Bombs 91
4. Jim J. Bullock 87
5. Jazz U Up 84

Which character from 90210 had a wife killed by hitmen?

Henry VIII had two of his wives beheaded. One was Ann Boleyn. Who was the other one?

In what African country will you find the peak of Mount Kilimanjaro?

What was physicist Neils Bohr's nationality?

The stars on the Steelers helmets represent the three main components to make steel. The blue one stands for steel scrap. What do the yellow and orange ones stand for?

This saxophonist, who won a Grammy for the album "Forever in Love" and who totally sucks, was born in Seattle.

Yeah, I'm running a little behind. I'll get there. Gonna post pics of last week's winners (yes, pre QB week), and gonna post underneath a question taken from Quizzo Bowl 2. Putyour answers underneath. One guess per person.

This year, the topic was, "Did it Happen before or after the Blue Horizon was built?" The Horizon was built in 1865. So Before or After 1865.

1. Tom Thumb gets married
2. West Virginia admitted to the Union
3. Brooklyn Bridge was opened
4. Dmitri Mendeleev creates periodic table
5. Tolstoi releases Anna Karenina
6. Darwin publishes Origin of Species
7. Crimean War Ends
8. Marx and Engels write Communist Manifesto
9. Woodrow Wilson born
10. Dickens writes a Tale of Two Cities
11. Jesse James pulls off the first train robbery
12. Philadelphia sports team wins pro championship

Not nearly enough families die in commercials when their race cars explode. Am I right?

Alright, well I'm headed out to the ballpark to see the Phils get their first win. Last year, they were terrible in games I attended (I think like 3-11), but I'm pretty sure that's gonna turn around this year. Anyways, I'm taking the rest of the day off, but you'll be able to keep yourselves amused with all of these new pics from Quizzo Bowl (taken by Jonah Detofsky). Also, be sure to vote and let me know where we should do it next year. Go Phillies!

A few years ago, my buddy Chet Bumstead and I went wild, trying to see as many movies in the film festival as possible, and it was a blast. I'd like to do that at the Film Festival again this year, and then maybe write up a short review about the flicks. I need fellow watchers/reviewers. Kind of like the pizza thing except with movies. If you're interested, shoot me an email and let me know which movies you wanna see and I'll see which ones work into my schedule, and we'll make it happen.

For those of you who were scared to go North of Girard (to whom I say, "I hear there is cheap rent in Lafayette Hill, you'll love it there"), here's the home version of Quizzo Bowl IV. Not as much Black Elvis, but you'll get the general idea. Here is round one:

1. What did John Pemberton brew the first batch of in Atlanta on this date in 1886?
2. In what number Wrestlemania did over 93,000 people fill the Detroit Silverdome to witness Hulk Hogan bodyslam Andre the Giant?
3. This building in Westminster is home to the annual summer proms.
4. Today is Cy Youngs birthday. How many games did he win in his career?
5. This hostess of tomorrow’s Wrestlemania is currently dating Reggie Bush.
6. Many people think the term upset in sports comes from the time a horse by that name defeated what famous horse?
7. What newspaper has the 2nd highest circulation in the US, after the USA Today.
8. Tom Keifer and Eric Brittingham formed this kickass band in Philadelphia in 1982, and they have sold 18 million albums.
9. In what country is the city of Mecca located?
10. Which of the following is not the name of a space shuttle? a) Discovery b) Endeavour c) Atlantis d) Voyager
11. In standard poker, which of the following does not defeat a flush? a) Straight Flush b) Four of a kind c) straight d) full house
12. What toy company makes Barbie dolls?

Answers after the jump.

I held Quizzo Bowl IV at a boxing venue in Philadelphia, and never once, not in the promotional stuff, not on the website, not in the questions, did I invoke the name of Rocky. Why? Because even in that setting, it would have been trite and downright lame. Rocky is done. The city has moved on. I'm no marketing guru, but even I know that trying to win over voters in Philly by tying yourself to Rocky is like trying to win over voters in Kentucky by wearing a coonskin cap and carrying a musket. It's embarrassing and downright silly. Listen, Hillary, we're done with Rocky. The only place Rocky lives on is in the Philly Mag's Writers Handbook (Rule 1-A: You must reference Rocky and cheesesteaks in every single issue.). Wow. Just when I think I can't possibly like her any less, she trots out this groaner. Anyways, the good news is that Obama is gaining on her in Pennsylvania.

Haven't had a chance to say much about the bracket-tacular, with all of the Quizzo Bowl excitement. And that was for the best, as I am currently ranked 72nd out of 73 teams (though I am spoiling for a comeback). Anyhow, here's how it's shaping down heading into the final weekend. For the 2nd straight year, Smackdown (above, in blue) is right in the mix. Last year, Ohio State's loss in the championship cost her the title. This year, she needs UCLA to knock off UNC in the finals. I would find it hilarious if it's UNC-UCLA and UNC wins, but that's just me. If that happens, current leader Matt Cohen wins. If North Carolina defeats Memphis for the title, Touched by an Uncle (Matt Kallend) wins. If Memphis defeats UNC or Kansas, then Adam's bracket wins. If Kansas defeats Memphis, then Total Ownage wins. And if Kansas defeats UCLA, then Davidson's dream season continues, as Davidson grad Sarah Vaala takes the title. Best of luck to all the competitors, and go UNC!

• Quizzo Bowl champ Steve O. will be singing Sinatra tomorrow morning on WIP at 7:30 a.m.
• Did you know that the WID hosts quizzo? Yep, tonight at For Pete's Sake at 9 p.m.
• Played Irish John's quizzo last night at Tangier. I love me some Irish John, but that "must have the correct spelling" thing drives me freaking insane.
• Fooboozer Trivia Art (above, focused on his beers) is making his TV debut on April 13th, as he'll be a judge on Throwdown with Bobby Flay at 10 p.m. on the Food Network. It's no rhubarb contest judging gig, but it ain't bad.
• D-Mac says what we were all thinking yesterday: Nutter looked like a total dork with his Phillies jersey tucked into a pair of jeans. I bet he was wearing a braided belt too.
• One last big name celebrity appearance: Vertical Paper, who finished 3rd in the 2006 World Rock Paper Scissors competition in Toronto, played on the Swayze Express.

On April 1, 1789, this Pennsylvanian was named the first ever Speaker of the House.

After a long 14 month wait between QBs III and IV, I think it's not gonna be so long until Quizzo Bowl V. I'd like to get back to doing it in late January, if possible. Here a few thoughts on venues:
World Cafe Live: Obviously better acoustics, closer location for most people, and to be honest, less work for me (They do ticketing, insurance, security, etc.) And as a man of leisure, the less work the better. But after three straight sellouts from a local act, they seemed extremely indifferent about hosting QB IV, which was kind of a turnoff.
Blue Horizon:Lots of character, the employees were a pleasure to do business with, plenty of room, and the opportunity for free beer. Downsides: a little bit out of the way, a little bit chilly (though that could probably be corrected if we did it again), and the acoustics were so-so (not the sound guys fault, just the way it's gonna be in a large old building not built with acoustics in mind).
Somewhere New: Would be fun to do it like the Super Bowl, where we got to check out a new venue each year. The question is, where? After doing lots of research on this, I have discovered that there are plenty of places in Philly that sit 200 people, but almost none that sit 300. I'd love to do it at a place like the Troc, but it's simply not big enough. Houston Hall on Penn's campus or The Armory are big enough, but I'd need to rent tables and chairs and find a way to get them to those places, which sounds like a nightmare. If anyone has any ideas, please post them below.

And they're pretty awesome. My man DJ was official photographer, and he got some really good ones, including shots of plenty of teams. Check 'em out.