March 2008 Archives

Those of you who saw me on Wednesday night saw a nearly broken man. I had sold only about 150 tickets (these things are usually sold out by the Wednesday before), and, having expected to sell numerous tickets at the Black Sheep that night, I sold one. There was no hope of getting help from the TV or the papers. There was no money in the budget for advertising. The Inquirer, after making overtures of doing a story on it, backed off. The Weekly and the City Paper decided not to cover it for the first time ever. After three straight classics, it looked like Quizzo Bowl IV was gonna be a dud. And it would be a failure in front of the Burnin' Loves, a band made up of guys I had grown up with. But, in a show of what an incredible community we have, things started to turn around, Blues Brothers style. Trivia Art posted a contest on Foobooz, D-Mac did the same on PhiladelphiaWillDo. Dark Horse John sent a message to his listserve. Jam Master Sean told the RPS crowd. Chip posted bulletins on Myspace, as did Steve O., Smackdown, and the Lovely Ginger. Gabe and Andy at the Temple Law School posted flyers all over the facility, while I posted them on bulletin boards, walls and bathroom doors at Temple and Penn. Despite being ignored by the press, the buzz started to spread, and by the time doors opened at the Blue Horizon at 7 p.m., a sea of people poured through. In the end, it worked out incredibly. I had set up 38 tables of 8 eight each, and in the end every seat was filled, for a total of 304 people, our 4th consecutive Quizzo Bowl sellout.

As for the event itself, it was legendary. The Burning Loves opened sans Black Elvis, and got the crowd warmed up with a few classics, such as "Hard to Handle" and "Me and Bobby McGee". JGT broke his promise of not rapping, and opened with "Mama Said Knock You Out". Then we began a rather difficult easy round. Of the 38 teams, only one, Dork Sided, got all 12 questions correct. The much maligned defending champs, the Sofa Kingdom, aced Round Two, and took the lead after the first two rounds. It was then time for the halftime show, featuring Chip Chantry and the Legendary WID. Chip's set went pretty well, despite the fact that the audio was a little off in the old building. Then came the WID. I wish he had performed on stage instead of in front, because I think some people in the back couldn't really see what was going on.

Long story short, he got sha-na-nad off the stage, despite pulling out two stuffed lions, and saying "Hey, I've got my pride," then dry humping one of the lions and saying, "What do you think I'm F****** Lion?" (How is that not hilarious? I just don't get you people.) There are already talks of a "WID's Revenge" show, so stay tuned.

On to Round Three, the wild card round. After starting off slowly, two time champions the Champs (aka Rob's Zombies) were one of only two teams to pull off a perfect round, and moved within a question of the lead heading into the final round. The other team to have a perfect round three, Lambda Lambda Lambda had a narrow lead, with 71 points. MAGMA was close behind with 69, and Blowback Chicken Army (featuring Triva Art, D-Mac, Smackdown, and a few Western Omelette's) were in 3rd with 68. The Kingdom and the Zombies both had 67. Dork Sided, looking for the upset, was still within a question of the lead, with 66.

Meanwhile, between rounds, Black Elvis had completely caught fire. His booming voice and the bands rollicking play had the place rocking. Suspicious Minds was amazing, Hound Dog was downright nasty, and they ended the night by getting away from the Elvis with a little Chuck Berry "Johnny B. Good". By the end of the night, the nerd elite were dancing in the aisles. Unreal.

But back to the action. Round Four, which kicked off with Eye of the Tiger playing in the background, was a doozy. When the dust settled, the Resevous Dogs aka The Jams, with an impressive final round, had moved to 5th place. MAGMA finished in 4th. Rob's Zombies, despite losing their effervescent leader during the previous year (I missed him eating other peoples food while taking his table at this year's Quizzo Bowl. And great team name. I am quite certain that would approve.), finished an impressive third. So it came down to two teams. The defending champs the Sofa Kingdom and Steve O.'s team, Lambda Lambda Lambda. The crowd began banging on the tables as I prepared to read off the winners, followed by an actual drum roll. Ladies and gentlemen, "Your 2008 Quizzo Bowl Champions...Lambda Lambda Lambda!"

The crowd went wild, the Kingdom hung their heads, and the Lambdas began jumping up and down as if they had just made the Final Four. The Kingdom hung their heads as if their three pointer at the buzzer had grazed the iron. Unlike the Final Four, there were no TV news crews there to record the moment, no write-ups about it in the Sunday paper. But there is no denying that the Kingdom was overthrown. The Revolution was not televised, but I'll be damned if it wasn't a hell of a lot of fun.

Hey gang, click here to see how your team did in Quizzo Bowl. (Scores have been fixed.)

Congratulations to your 2008 championship team, Lamda Lamda Lamda, at the 4th consecutive sold out Quizzo Bowl! I had fun. I hope you guys did too. Be back with a full wrap up, lots of photos, and a full scoreboard so you can see how your team did on Monday. I am now gonna kick back on the couch for the next 10 hours and watch basketball and baseball while eating unhealthy food and passing in and out of consciousness. If you got any good shots of last nights show, please send em to me. I'm gonna do a photo gallery manana.

Tickets are no longer available online. If you want to get tickets, show up at the Blue Horizon door at exactly 7 p.m. There are still a few left. And remember to bring a few bucks to tip your bartender with!

OK, gang, here is a final rundown of everything you need to know about the most prestigious Quizzo event in the history of the world.

• HOW TO GET TICKETS: Click here. There will be also be tickets at the door. However, I only have a certain amount of tables set up for teams. Once they are filled, doors close. I have about 220 sold and room for about 60 more people. To ensure yourself a seat, get your tickets now. If you are going to get your tickets there, I would suggest being there when doors open at 7 p.m. Online sales end tonight.
• WHERE: Legendary Blue Horizon (1314 North Broad Street) Cross street is Thompson, two blocks north of Girard. I will have cab numbers in the program so you can call for a cab after the event.
• WHEN: Tomorrow night! Doors open at 7 p.m., band comes on at 7:30 p.m., quizzo start at about 8:15 p.m.
• WHAT DO I GET FOR MY MONEY: For a mere $25, you get all you can drink Sly Fox (at least until we kick 6 kegs), Black Elvis, Chip Chantry, and the Legendary WID, probably my favorite comedian in Philly. Oh yeah, and a shot at the $1,000 purse. Also, I will have lots of gift certificates to give away in random drawings. In addition, the first 100 people through the door get a free copy of Mental Floss magazine. You will not find a better deal than this in Philadelphia this weekend. Or ever, for that matter.
• FOOD AND DRINK: Like I said, plenty of beer. Will also have several bottles of wine, for the sissies more sophisticated palates. As far as food, I would suggest eating before you arrive. I will have soft pretzels, courtesy of the Philly Pretzel Factory, and some chips, but nothing too hearty. There will be also be food for sale at the afterparty.
• AFTERPARTY: Going down at the Urban Saloon. Great bar, if you haven't already been. They are totally styling us out with $2.50 drafts and $3.50 imports and crafts. They will also have food for sale (they have good, inexpensive food).
• HOW DO I GET SO MUCH BANG FOR MY BUCK? Thanks to the sponsors on the right side of the page, we were able to keep prices extremely reasonable. I cannot thank them enough for their contributions to this event. I do ask that you please check them out when you get a chance.

Oh, and one more thing: I have known several member so the Burnin' Loves since I was about 5 years old. So tomorrow night is your chance to find out what a loser popular guy I was in high school. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. This is gonna be a blast. Hope to see you there!

Anybody got a tap or a keg tub? Got two taps, but I wanna be safe in case one doesn't work. If you have, please contact me. Thanks.

ONEALS

1. Lamda Lamda Lamda 106
2. Young, Old and Restless 100
3. Drinkin For Two 97
4. We Got Nothin' 97
5. Michale J. Fox...95

BARDS

1. Sofa Kingdom 114
2. Narcotyzing Dysfunktion 102
3. Western Omelette 101
4. Fat Kids Always Win at See Saw 98
5. Sop You Up with a Biscuit 80

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

1. Barack and Angie (The Champs) 86
2. A Man With No More Seasons (Jams) 84
3. This Round Sponsored By...73
4. But My Mom Says I'm Cool 67
5. Spitzer Swallows 63

BLACK SHEEP

1. Always $$ in a Banana Stand 107
2. Duane's World 106
3. Happy B-Day Sherpa 106
4. Sara Goodtimes 94
5. 4 Horsemen of Pinpocalypse 92

GOOD DOG

1. Fort Awesome 89
2. Dr. Girlfriend 85
3. Shomer Shabbas 77
4. Goodbye Egg McMuffin 70
5. The Underachievers 6

6 THE BARDS

1. Off Like a Prom Dress 90
2. Malibu Love Nest 87
3. Not in Front of the Virgin 84
4. Scissor Me Xerxes 81
5. Youporn.com 69

Remember Mike Pomranz, the young man who blasted me in a letter to the editor a few weeks ago. Well, in a cruel twist of fate, he got press from the Inquirer last week. (Apparently open mic night at The Fire is newsworthy, but the largest and most prestigious team trivia event in the world is not. Not that I'm bitter.) Here's my favorite part: So why go to open mic? "To meet people and to find support," Pomeranz says with a laugh. No wonder he was laughing. "To meet people and find support" is a hilarious line, and it comes as no surprise that Mike came up with something so witty.

Apparently the surge in recognition had all sorts of folks just crawling out of the woodwork to be his Myspace friend, so he changed his status to private. Not just anybody can be Myspace friends with Mike Pomranz, author/signer/letter to the editor writer! No sir, it's an exclusive club, and only a few are allowed in his inner circle!

Anyways, he has emerged from an important meeting with his well-rounded, intellectual, and extremely urbane circle of Myspace friends to engage us with his thoughts on my last two columns, first the one on the NCAA tourney I did last week, then on the one I did on celebrity run-ins a few days ago. Click below to read Mike's take on the two columns.

One time only: No Sofa Kingdom, no Western Omelette, no Hurtin Bombs at the Bards. Oh, and D-Mac is hosting the wild card round. Should be pretty fun.

And don't forget, Good Dog at 8 p.m. See ya tonight!

The latest in the Metro is on Brushes with Greatness. What run-ins with celebrities have you had?

FOOD AND DRINK: The Philly Pretzel Factory is hooking us up with pretzels, and there will be other assorted snacks. As far as drinking is concerned, Sly Fox is providing us with their Helles Golden Lager, a German style lager, and their Seamus Irish Red Ale, which is a new red ale. I had one a few days ago for the first time and loved it. Beer is included in admission. They will also be serving food at the afterparty.

QUESTIONS: 12 questions per round, four rounds. Should be slightly more difficult than usual, but not ridiculously so.

TEAM SIZE: Up to 8. If you have a smaller team, no problem, we'll just team you up with another small group.

AFTERPARTY: Going down at Urban Saloon (21st and Fairmount). I know you guys'll be hungry by then, so they agreed to keep the kitchen open late. They're also giving us a great deal on drinks, with $2.50 domestics and $3.50 craft and imports.

GIVEAWAYS: In addition to the $1,000 purse, I have about over 15 gift certificates to give away to local restaurants with random drawings throughout the night. Also, the first 100 people through the door get a free copy of the latest issue of Mental Floss magazine.

HOW TO GET THERE: Here is a map of where the Blue Horizon is. Parking should be pretty easy, and the Broad Street Line will take you to Girard, which is two blocks away.

If you have any more questions, feel free to ask.

1. It is a shot at Quizzo immortality. Anyone worth their salt in the quizzo world knows that the Champs won the first two and that the Sofa Kingdom won last year. If you win this year, your name will be forever ingrained in quizzo lore.
2. Winning team walks with $600 cash and free memberships to Zipcar.
3. Black Elvis's backup band The Burnin' Loves are, quite frankly, incredible musicians.
4. The Blue Horizon.
5. There will be a documentary crew on hand to cover the action, and you may very well be a movie star by this time next year. Well, maybe not a star. But you'll be like Paulie in Rocky.
6. JGT quizzo shirts will be unveiled for the first time ever.
7. It is the most fun thing going on in Philly this weekend, guaranteed.
8. The Legendary WID is one of the funniest comedians I have ever seen in my life. If you like puns, you are gonna love the WID.
9. Black Elvis.
10. All you can drink Sly Fox beer and a chance to see JGT rap. Nevermind that second part. JGT will not be rapping at this event.

Get your tickets now!

I am in talks now to get these guys to perform at Quizzo Bowl V.

First off, it's cheaper. Internet sales ($25) end on Friday night, and on Saturday tickets at the door will be $30. Also, we will be setting up tables for 40 teams. Once those tables are filled, well, "Sorry folks, but parks closed. Moose outside shoulda told ya." Not trying to scare ya into buying tix, but just want to give you the dilly-yo. Of course, I will continue to have tickets for sale on me this week at quizzo, and you can still buy them online. If you have any questions about the event, feel free to post 'em below.
RELATED: FAQs about QBIV

I need to go to Royersford at some point to pick up these kegs, and need a truck to do it with. Let me know if you have one or know anyone who has one.

Ah yes, the first Quizzo Bowl. Ran a little long, but Nate Wiley and the Crowd Pleasers kept there from being a meltdown with their sweet soulful sounds. Johnny Cash impersonator The Man in Black did a great job kicking off the show, the bellydancer at halftime was a near disaster, and Where's Johnny (aka The Champs) edged the Sofa Kingdom, then making their first JGT quizzo appearance. Anyways, here's a few questions from the first big event.

1. What did Vincenzo Peruggia steal in 1911, making him a national hero of sorts in his native Italy?
2. Who are the only two players to win back to back Super Bowl MVPs?
3. In what state did the Wounded Knee Massacre, take place in 1890?
4. What fundamental discovery in the field of nuclear science did Sir James Chadwick make in 1932?
5. What country do the Galapagos Islands belong to?
6. Much of our knowledge about the Mount Vesuvius eruption of 79 AD comes from this Roman’s letter to the historian Tacitus?
7. What sea is located on Turkey’s northern coast?
8. How many laps are in the Daytona 500?
9. How many golden tickets did willy wonka hide in chocolate wonka bars?
10. What’s the name of Beethoven’s only opera?

Answers after the jump.

A pretty interesting video on Philly.com yesterday about Quizzo Bowl sponsor Zipcar and their chief competitor Philly Car Share.

• Only One Version of Quizzo This Week! In other words, you can only play once this week. I just have too much stuff to do to get ready for Quizzo Bowl to write up two sets of questions.
• UPDATE: D-Mac to host wild card round at the Bards Thursday night. Should be pretty hilarious.
• Speaking of D-Mac, he and I teamed up with some lovely ladies to finish a disappointing 5th at Irish John's quizzo on Sunday night (that's us dejected, above, after the loss). But I rebounded on Monday, as Gabe and I joined Palestra Jon's team and set a new Dark Horse scoring record, missing only one question (In what country was St. Patrick born? We put Wales, and it was England).
• I will have tickets on me tonight at quizzo, so get your team right and get your tickets tonight.

One thing that will separate this Quizzo Bowl from those that have come before is the venue. After three years at the modern confines of the World Cafe Live, this year we'll be taking a trip back in time, as the event goes down at the hallowed Blue Horizon.

The Horizon was built in 1865 as three different row homes for the nouveau riche. In 1914, the buildings were adapted to house a Moose Lodge, whose presence is still felt. The lobby features a ticket booth built in 1914 with the Lodge's name and number still imprinted on the glass, and on one side of the stage you'll find a plaque honoring members of the local Moose Lodge that died in World War I. On the other side you'll find a bust of former "dictator" of the Lodge, John Ford.

The venue was converted to a church in the 1960s, and fights began being staged there in 1961. It quickly made a name for itself as a premiere boxing venue, with 33 World Champions boxing there, including Bernard Hopkins, Meldrick Taylor, and Tim Weatherspoon. In 1999 it was voted the Number One Boxing Venue in the World by the readers of Ring magazine. The Horizon is also used for a variety of parties and cabarets, but in its 143 year history, it has never played host to a major trivia event. Until Saturday, March 29th, 2008, when history will be made in a building already rich on it. BUY TICKETS NOW or see me tonight at quizzo.

On March 26th, 1965, a truck driver in Scranton lost control of a truck carrying bananas. This event inspired the song 30,000 Pounds of Bananas. What artist recorded the song?

Received the following e-mail this morning: Two years ago you entered the Kitchen Kettle Village "Best Rhubarb Dessert in Lancaster County" baking contest - you did not win, but you gave it a valiant effort. This year I would like to invite you to be a celebrity judge for the event. We are celebrating 25 years of rollicking rhubarb fun. I would love to have a fun person like you as one of the judges. Please let me know if it works in your schedule! It is kind of ridiculous how excited I am about this.

RELATED: Johnny's Near Monumental Upset Rattles Intercourse Pie Baking Community. (If you haven't read this already, please do. I really think it's one of my funniest stories.)

Here's a kind of fun video that includes Philly natives Tim and Eric, as well as Zach Galifinakis.

Just crossed the 100 tickets sold plateau. If you are interested in buying tix, either click here or come out to one of my quizzos this week. I will also be at the Dark Horse tonight at 9 p.m. with tickets on me. For more info on QB IV, click here.

...is absolutely and completely off the chain (though NSFW, thanks to Peedi Crak saying "F*** the Internet" We couldn't agree more.) I love Dice Raw (I used to go to his open mic at Five Spot) and have always wished he rapped more for these guys. Black Thought is so damn serious all the time he needs a hype man, and that's Dice. New album drops April 29th. Can't wait.

RELATED: The Roots on Myspace.

The point guard for Georgetown when they lost to Nova in 1985 had an interesting name. What was it?

Who hit the clutch 3 pointer in the final minute to lead Arkansas over Duke in the 1994 final?

In 1939, this school (which made this year's tourney) won the first ever NCAA tourney.

Who was the last team to enter the tournament undefeated? (year and school needed).

Stephen Curry has been the most exciting player in this year's tourney and has led Davidson to the Sweet 16. Where did his father Dell set several school records before becoming an NBA 6th Man?

Only two #11 seeds have ever made the Final Four. Who are they?

Alright, gonna post pics of last weeks winners, along with questions about the NCAA tourney. One guess per person. I'll have a write up about the standings in the 4th annual bracket-tacular a little later.

I've had several people say, "Well, we don't stand a chance at Quizzo bowl IV because we've only got three people on our team." Don't worry about that. We will be combining small teams into larger teams once people start arriving. I can all but guarantee that you will be on a team of 6-8 people. Don't sweat it. If you are looking to buy tickets to the grandaddy of them all, click here.

O'NEALS

1. Dow Is Up 420 Points, Stoners Rejoice 105
2. Young, Old, and Restless 95
3. Dork Sided 86
4. Bear Grylls Good, Bear Stearns Bad 75
5. B-Sharps 72

BARDS

1. Lamda Lamda Lamda 114
2. Sofa Kingdom 93
3. Narcotyzing Dysfunktion 90
4. Western Omelette 84
5. Hulk Smash Quizzo 73

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

1. Phil is Sick (aka the Jams) 99
2. 2008: A Death Odyssey 90
3. Is Quizzo Bowl a Registered Trademark 82
4. No Name Team 81
5. This is Not a Bus 65

BLACK SHEEP

1. Hey, Remember LA Law? 94
2. Duane's World 84
3. CatDog 78
4. Dirty Sanchez 73
5. Yes You Can't 72

GOOD DOG

1. Loose Seal 100
2. Odd men Out 84
3. Liquidity Crisis 72
4. Shomer Shabbas
5. Fort Awesome 66

BARDS

1. Western Omelette 118
2. Hurtin Bombs 113
3. Gladys the Groovy Mule 99
4. I Gave Up Sex For Lent 87
5. Sofa Kingdom 83

So I'm gonna be emceeing a basketball game that John Dougherty is gonna playing in tomorrow. It's a fund raiser at the gym where I coach. If you wanna see Johnny Doc's hoops skills, be at the Marian Anderson Rec Center (17th and Catherine) at 11 a.m. tomorrow. Oh, and if you wanna see my b-ball acumen (or lack thereof), be there at 3 p.m., when the other coaches and I play against the 16 year olds.

RELATED: In a somewhat pathetic move, Johnny tries to show off his glory days by linking to the JGT vs. AI in high school story for the second time in a week.

Damnit, damnit, damnit! Belmont played right with Duke the whole night last night, and then at the end, instead of playing to win, they played not to lose. They deserved the loss. Aaaargh! Man, it would have been a great upset. I know that the tournament committee hates a good upset. That's why they only gave 6 at large bids to mid-majors this year, as opposed to 12 just a few years ago, then matched up all the midmajors against each other in the first round so their wouldn't be any major upsets. But their efforts were almost in vain, because Belmont played so well. Damn, damn, damn. I'm still mad about the end of that game. The good news is that Duke is just not that good, and they'll be going down soon enough.

It was on this date in 1970 that Vinko Bogataj became the Agony of Defeat. Does it make me a bad person because I can't help laughing every time I see this?

The hero of morons all over the country is allowed to keep his sign on his window. As a pretty big fan of free speech I totally I agree with the ruling. It was ridiculous that this suit got filed in the first place. Sure, Vento may be so dumb that he makes comments about non-English speakers such as: "You don't wanna assimilate into dis country and learn our language? Well den you shouldn't uh came here den. Stay where you was." But that doesn't mean that Joey can't show off what a genius he with a sign in the window. After all, this is a free country. So congrats Joey. You are a hero, a hero to people in jean shorts and Minnie Mouse sweaters who swear they once saw the Virgin Mary on a slice of french toast. But to everyone in this city with an IQ over 40, you continue to be an embarrassment.

Gonna be giving away 2 free tickets to Quizzo Bowl tonight at both the Good Dog (8 p.m.) and the Brads 10:15 p.m. See ya then!

As you are well aware, the Legendary WID is going to be entertaining at the Quizzo Bowl. His opening act will be none other than JGT political correspondent Chip Chantry. Chip was named Philadelphia's 3rd Funniest Comedian in a contest that featured over 100 comics this past year at Helium. He would have won if he had been funnier. Chip is a regular at Helium and has played just about every venue between here and New York City, including a few firehouses. Chip's funny. You're gonna like him.

Here's my latest, sort of a B-ball tourney for dummies. I just hope Michael Pomranz likes it. Btw, I've also heard that his band, the Nuck Fuggets (sort of unsafe for work) are playing this Monday at the Troc, though that hasn't been confirmed by Mike himself.

It's the most wonderful time of the year. Check out how young Larry Brown is here.

Just a quick reminder to get your bracket done before tomorrow at 11 a.m.!

I used to have a tradition of getting my best friend retro jerseys for Christmas. But not just any retro jersey, one of players who were bad or on teams that they didn't stay with long. For example, I gave him a Sean Kemp Cavaliers jersey and a Dennis Rodman Dallas Mavericks jersey. Then, a few years ago, it became impossible to get him said jerseys because the retro jersey fad took off, and suddenly a Sean Kemp Cavalier jersey was actually a desirable piece of clothing to have. Fortunately, the fad came back down to earth, and now jerseys of mediocre players are hilarious again, as is demonstrated by this amazing website. Oh, and Nat, if you're reading this, I've got a Jeff Hostetler Raiders jersey I've been meaning to mail you for a couple of years now. I'll get around to it someday.

With the Flyers tanking hard and the Sixers looking good but with nobody watching, tonight marks the first time many of you will pay any attention to pro sports in Philly since the Eagles were eliminated from the playoff hunt, due to the return of one of Philly's all-time most captivating athletes. Well, here's a few thoughts on the Sixers and AI: First of all, the Sixers are better off without him. This is a young, impressionable team that is going to learn a lot of positives from point guard Andre Miller, who came from Denver in the trade. Andre Miller isn't just "talkin 'bout practice", he's attending it. The Sixers are one good power forward away from being the 3rd or 4th best team in the East, and they should make a splash in the free agent market this offseason due in part to not having to pay AI an obscene amount of money. The "let's build a team around one guy" concept was intriguing, and worked for a year or two, but it is simply impossible to sustain in the NBA. See Kobe after Shaq and before Gasol. All in all, if I was attending, I would give him a hearty standing O, as I have been a fan of his hustle and heart for a long time. But I do think he's a bit overrated, as he takes a ton of absolutely terrible shots every game. And, as a coach of impressionable youngsters, I'd rather not have him as a role model in my city. I appreciate the "keeping it real" stuff when it came to fashion and friends, but kicking down doors with a gun while looking for your wife? Yeah, I'm not really into that, and we haven't really had to deal with a lot of that from Andre Miller and Andre Igoudala.

RELATED: JGT vs. AI in high school b-ball in Virginia. (True Story!)

Yesterday was Irene Cara's birthday, and in honor of that I'd like to present a short clip my heartwarming performance of Flashdance at last year's Quizzo Bowl, complete with leg-warmers, the headband, and the now infamous dumping of the tickets. What kind of horrifying surprises will we find at this year's bowl? There's only one way to find out.

The good people at the Locust Rendezvous have agreed to help sponsor Quizzo Bowl IV. The Vous, the site of Wednesday night quizzo on Broad and Locust, has some of the best drink prices in Center City, and is a great place to see the games with their new HDTVs. The NASCAR-ation of this event continues! But again, without local companies helping out, $25 for an amazing show and all you can drink would have been impossible. So please check out the companies to the right when you get a chance.

Alright guys, hard to believe, but this is the 4th year we're doing this jawn. Here's how it works: You click here, follow the instructions (Password is Goodtimes. You do need a Yahoo account to join, but it only takes a minute to get one), and you're in. It's free to enter. The person who finishes with the highest score will receive a $50 gift certificate from Barristers, a $25 gift certificate to the Mexican Post, and a $25 gift certificate to Ortlieb's Jazz Haus ($100 total, in case you're bad at math). Barrister's will have all 63 games on their multiple high def TVs. If you wanna keep an eye on all of the games and not go to the worst bar in Philly, I highly suggest Barristers. Great food, great TVs, plus drink specials. 2nd place will get a $40 gift certificate to the Black Sheep, and 3rd will get a $10 gift certificate to O'Neals. Past winners include Stacie from the Champs, Eric of the Rocket Scientists, and yours truly (I won the first one, but finished 64th out of 75 teams last year.) Got to get your picks in by noon on Thursday! Good luck!

Ok, you know the basics. Saturday, March 29th at the Blue Horizon on 1314 North Broad Street. Kickoff at 8 p.m. Here are a few of the questions I've been getting.

Where can I get tickets?
You can purchase them from me at each of my events this week, or you can purchase them online here.

How much are tickets?
I have always made an effort to keep Quizzo Bowl Tickets as cheap as possible while ensuring that I don't totally lose my ass. The $25 per ticket in advance ($30 day of the show) is actually the best deal ever, as it will include not only the show, but also your drinks for the evening, courtesy of Sly Fox.

Why should I pay for this one when I can play for free anywhere else?
I see this as a huge party celebrating the community we've built over the years, unlike any other event in the world. There is no Quizzo Bowl in NYC, none in DC, and none in LA. There is only Quizzo Bowl, and it will only be found at one place in 2008: the Blue Horizon in Philadelphia, PA on March 29th.

How many people can I have on a team?
Up to eight. In order to make seating as easy as possible (no assigned seating this year), I do ask that you please try to come as close to 8 as possible.

Is it going to be difficult to get to the Blue Horizon?
No, the Blue Horizon is roughly a mile north of City Hall. I have been there on nights that were busier than Quizzo Bowl and did not have trouble finding parking. If you are taking SEPTA, take the Broad Street line to Girard. It is then a two block walk North of Girard.

Will the questions be harder than usual?
Yes, a little bit. This is, after all, the Grandaddy of them all. But not unbearably, overwhelmingly hard.

Will there be food at this event?
Light snacks will be provided. The Philly Pretzel Factory is hooking me up with a great deal on pretzels, so we should have a fair amount of those, but I would suggest grabbing a bit before you leave the house. There will be some late-night snacks for sale at the Urban Saloon afterparty.

Will this be one of the most fun nights in Philadelphia this year?
Yes, guaranteed.

Will you be wearing a garish outfit at this event, Johnny?
No, I will be dressed quite plainly.

What's up with all of this sponsorship? Are you selling out on us Johnny?
Absolutely. To rent the room, get the band I wanted, get a halftime host, come up with prize money, buy all of the kegs, etc. tickets would have been at least $50. But thanks to our sponsors, tix are a ridiculously cheap $25. That is why I do ask that you please take a moment to check out our sponsors on the right hand side of the page, because they really did make this event possible.

What will the winners get?
There is a $1,000 purse. Winners get $600 plus free memberships to Zipcar, 2nd place gets $300, 3rd place gets $100.

What time should I show up?
Doors open at 7, band will start around 7:30, and quizzo will start at 8:15 p.m.

What time do you think we'll be done?
Gonna try to be done sometime between 10:30-11 p.m.

Will you be rapping at this event, Johnny?
Damnit, you just won't let this one die, will you? No, no I won't rapping at this event. I know I said that before Quizzo Bowls 1,2, and 3, but this year I mean it!

If you have any more questions, post them below.

Found the spot for the Quizzo Bowl afterparty. The Urban Saloon, a short cab ride from the Blue Horizon, will be the home of the post bowl bash, and they are hooking us up with $2.50 domestics and $3.50 crafts and imports for the event. They will also be keeping the kitchen open late just for us with a few late night snacks. As those of you who played the City vs, City Smackdown in December can attest, it's a great bar, and will be a great spot to unwind after the big event.

Hey gang, the good people at Mental Floss magazine have sent me 100 copies of their upcoming edition to give away at Quizzo Bowl. If you're a giant nerd Because you're a giant nerd, you should definitely be reading this magazine. It is honestly the best new magazine I have read in years, full of strange and fun trivia. From George Washington self help tips to Quizzes about Celebrities With Girlie Middle Names, you're gonna dig this mag. Free copies to the first 100 people through the doors at QBIV. And after the annual dumping of the tickets, the Lovely Ginger and I will picking up tix to give out more prizes than ever before. We're gonna be giving away tons of gift certificates to some of Philly's best restaurants and museums. I'll have more details on free stuff as we get closer to game time.

Who once lived at 1511 North 33rd Street in Philadelphia?

The economy is going completely into the toilet and Wall Street is being bailed out by Bush while homeowners are left on their own, but who cares? We have more sex talk! Apparently, Jim McGreevey and his wife used to do the wild thing with another guy. Here's the money line from that one: "We called it the Friday Night Special," Pedersen said. The "intense" escapades, he said, usually began with a "couple of drinks" at a local T.G.I. Friday's and culminated in "a hard-core consensual sex orgy" between the three of them at McGreevey's Woodbridge condo. What? Are you serious? They ate at TGI Fridays? Well, that's Jersey for ya.

Oh, and the new governor of New York, he used to cheat on his wife, too. As for Ashley Dupre, well she's raking in the money off her dope new song.

Gotta work on my column for the Metro, but in a little while I'm gonna put up our annual bracket challenge. Got a few gift certificates to give away. So check back soon.

Here's some fun St. Patties Day facts for you to kick around. And oh by the way, who in the hell was this St. Patrick we've been hearing so much about? Finally, here are a few facts about corned beef.

This Irish author burst onto the scene as a 67 year old in 1997, and doesn't use quotation marks in his writing.

This Irishman wrote "Waiting for Godot".

This lead singer of the Boomtown Rats put together Live 8.

This actor played Alexander the Great in the movie Alexander.

This Irish actor played the title character in Remington Steele.

What did Irish architect James Hoban create a design for in 1792?

Alright, since this is amateur nig St. Patrick's Day, I'm gonna ask questions about the Irish under pics of last week's winners. One guess per person.

O'NEALS

1. He Who Speaks to Spear Tooth 96
2. We Got Nothing 87
3. Young, Old and Restless 67
4. Buzztime Tattoo 59
5. Johnny Bettertimes 57

BARDS

1. Sofa Kingdom 110
2. Narcotyzing Dysfunktion 108
3. Clients #10 and #11 80
4. Cutz Dat Flo 69
5. Um, I Think You Did Hook Up W/ Him 53

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

1. Ganjer or Mary Anne (aka Jams) 114**
2. Trust Us We Know 101
3. 1022 85
4. Someone Went Corporate 74
5. Grady Bunch 69

BLACK SHEEP

1. Duane's World 108
2. Spitzer Swallows: Prince of Thieves 99
3. The Original Spitzer Swallows 88
4. Emperors Club VIP 86
5. Trashtastic 82

GOOD DOG

1. MAGMA 111
2. Shomer Shabbas 83
3. The Underachievers 81
4. Lucille II 63
5. The Misfitz 50

BARDS

1. Western Omelette 104
2. Hurtin Bombs 100
3. Rather have a bottle in front of me...100
4. Sofa Kingdom 95
5. Yes You Can't 83

**Had a perfect score going into final question. Missed "Who sings Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots?" Answer was Flaming Lips.

The Metro received quite possibly the greatest letter ever after my column on Thursday. While I will admit that Thursday's piece wasn't my strongest work, I am frankly flattered that it inspired this young writing genius, Michael Pomranz, to respond with a diatribe that was longer than the piece itself. For your reading enjoyment, I have provided footnotes. You're gonna like this:

Dear Involved Parties:

On Thursday, March 13, 2008, the Philadelphia Metro printed a column by author Johnny Goodtimes under the heading Goodtimes File entitled "Johnny Oldtimes".

Rarely in my life am I privy to reading such uninspired hack (1). How being a "local quizmaster and blogger" qualifies someone