February 2008 Archives

Alright, first of all, I do have a few sponsors lined up for Quizzo Bowl IV. (Sadly, Applebee's does not have money in the budget to help out.) I'd love to get more before I send out my press release early next week. Please e-mail me if you are at all interested. Sponsorship is extremely reasonable and this event is gonna be get a lot of attention in the coming month, especially when I let people know who the band is. Today I was able to finalize the halftime entertainer, who I am quite excited about. There are going to be plenty of announcements on the website starting next week.

I am debating on whether to use the ring as a stage. Obviously, I would love to but it does cost $1,000 extra for them to put it up and break it down. I'd have to raise the price (which, thanks to sponsorship and me being a great guy, is going to be very reasonable) $5 to cover it. If I raise ticket prices, I will also raise the prize money for first and second. Let me know what you think below. Have a great weekend gang!

O'NEALS

1. Archie Hamburger's Blowback Chicken Army 100
2. Young, the Old, and the Restless 97
3. We Got Nothin' 92
4. Team Fruit Cup 90
5. Dorksided 84

BARDS

1. Western Omelette 106
2. Sofa Kingdom 104
3. Narcotyzing Dysfunktion 98
4. Last NIght I Had a Dream 83
5. MAD Cobra 77

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

1. Sweep the Leg, Johnny 104
2. The Jams 100
3. Jackalope 94
4. Buy My Mom Says I'm Cool 81
5. Philly Hardcore 79

BLACK SHEEP

1. Eschaton 110
2. Fine Young Cannibals 91
3. The Dalembert Report 91
4. Hot Karl and the Mints 89
5. Catdog 86

GOOD DOG

1. Fort Awesome 99
2. The Underachievers 74
3. The Human Fund 62
4. Uh Hi Sarah 56
5. Ramrod 55

BARDS

1. Western Omelette 115
2. Sofa Kingdom 103
3. Hurtin Bombs 100
4. Lee Carvello 91
5. Bizarre Gardening Accident 81

Can you smell what the Omelette is cookin'? The story this week was without a doubt the play of the Western Omelette, who pulled off the unprecedented feat of two perfect final rounds in the same week, enabling them to knock off the Kingdom at the Bards both times.

But that was not the only interesting development this week, as we saw one team get quite close to a bounty, Smackdown's team start to warm up for Quizzo Bowl, and the Jams go down in a squeaker.

At O'Neals, Smackdown (who, sadly, still has a boyfriend. Sorry Bob T.), Trivia Art, D-Mac, et al. (named Archie Hamburgers Blowback Chicken Army) edged the Young, the Old, and the Restless, 100-97, and ended We Got Nothin's three week run.

Sweep the Leg, Johnny held on to edge the Jams at the Rendezvous. The Jams became the 2nd team to have a 3 game winning streak ended.

At the Sheep, Eschaton (aka Duane's Minions) cruised to an easy victory, ending the two week run of the Dalembert Report.

The team closest to a bounty? Fort Awesome at the Good Dog. They held a comfortable lead from wire to wire, and cruised to a 99-74 win over The Underachievers. If they win next week, it will result in the first ever bounty bowl at the Good Dog.

Just came across this and thought you guys might enjoy it. The book was English as She is Spoke, and it was written by a guy named Pedro Carolino in the 19th century. The author didn't speak English, or have a Portuguese-English dictionary, but he did have a Portuguese-French dictionary and a French-English dictionary, so he just put 2 and 2 together. Needless to say, the results were astounding, and Pedro Carolino is basically the Ed Wood of the dictionary world. Of this book, Mark Twain said, "Nobody can add to the absurdity of this book, nobody can imitate it successfully, nobody can hope to produce its fellow; it is perfect." Here are a few "idiotisms", as they were called in the book.

• In the country of blinds, the one eyed man are kings.
• Few, few the bird make her nest.
• Nothing some money, nothing of Swiss.
• A horse bared don't look him the tooth.
• To craunch the marmoset.
• The stone as roll not heap up not foam.
• Keep the chestnut of the fire with the cat foot.
• Burn the politeness.
• Of the hand to mouth, one lose often the soup.

It also provided some good translations of various sentences. First is the Portuguese, followed by the correct translation (in italics), followed by the English as She Is Spoke translation.)
Zombo deles; o meu navio é armado em guerra, tenho equipagem vigilante e animosa; e as munições não me faltam.
I laugh at them; my ship is armed for war; I have an alert and courageous crew, and I have plenty of ammunition.
ES: I jest of them; my vessel is armed in man of war, i have a vigilant and courageous equipage, and the ammunitions don't want me its.

Este lago parece-me bem piscoso. Vamos pescar para nos divertirmos.
This lake looks full of fish to me. Let's have some fun fishing.
ES: That pond it seems me many multiplied of fishes. Let us amuse rather to the fishing.

Vamos mais depressa. Nunca vi pior besta. Não quer andar, nem para diante, nem para trás.
Let's go faster. I never saw a worse animal. It doesn't want to go either forward or backward.
ES: Go us more fast never i was seen a so much bad beast; she will not nor to bring forward neither put back.

Barriga cheia, cara alegre.
A full stomach makes for a content face.
ES: After the paunch comes the dance.
RELATED: More info on English as She Is Spoke.

There is only one way to settle the ongoing feud between Palestra Jon and Bob T.: a dance marathon.

Cuba's been in the news a lot lately, due to the fact that Fidel is stepping down. Here's a few things you might wanna know about the place:

• It was the first island discovered by Columbus. He immediately enslaved and killed most of the indiginous population (especially the ones who resisted Christianity), and within a century almost all of the native population had been destroyed by the Spanish.
• Cuba was a Spanish possession from 1511-1898.
• In 1848, James Polk commissioned his ambassador to Spain to offer them $100 million for the island, but the Spaniards refused the offer.
• Cuba's national hero is a poet named Jose Marti, who was a leader of the movement which resulted in Cuba's independence in 1898.
• Remember the Maine! To Hell With Spain! The sinking of the USS Maine is one of the original conspiracy theories. Donspiracist, can you clear this up for us?
• An American, Charles Magoon, was appointed of governor of Cuba and retained his position as leader of the supposedly independent nation three years (1906-1908).
• Fulgencio Batista was running a distant third in the 1952 elections when he decided to just say the hell with it and staged a coup, becoming leader by force.
• In 1956, hundreds of Cuban officers attempted a coup against Batista. It failed, but the result was that the army was weak when Castro staged his coup a couple of years later.
• As is depicted in Godfather 2, there were a lot of casinoes in Cuba before the Revolution, almost all of them owned by the US Mob.
• Thousands of Batista backers were executed by Castro following the coup.
• Most cars in Cuba are US 1950s models, which are called yank tanks. They have usually been modified to accept replacement engines.
• The Mariel boatlift, depicted in Scarface, was a diabolically sharp maneuver by Castro in 1980 to rid his country of criminals and malcontents.
• The Cuban government still regularly imprisons journalists who question the direction of the country.
• Cuba has one of the highest literacy rates in the world, as 99.8 of it's people are literate.
• According the WHO, Cuba and Canada have the lowest infant mortality rates in the Americas. Life expectancy in Cuba is similar to that in the US. Doctors in Cuba make $15 a month.

• Even if one takes every reefer madness allegation of the prohibitionists at face value, marijuana prohibition has done far more harm to far more people than marijuana ever could.
• Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.
• The central question that emerges…is whether the White community in the South is entitled to take such measures as are necessary to prevail, politically and culturally, in areas where it does not predominate numerically? The sobering answer is Yes—the White community is so entitled because, for the time being, it is the advanced race.
• Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.
• I'd rather entrust the government of the United States to the first 400 people listed in the Boston telephone directory than to the faculty of Harvard University.
• (Of George W. Bush): If you had a European prime minister who experienced what we've experienced, it would be expected that he would retire or resign.
• A Conservative is a fellow who is standing athwart history yelling "Stop!"
• I won’t insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said.

1. Joaquim Phoenix played Commodus in Gladiator. True or False: Commodus was an actual Roman emperor who fought in gladiatorial events.
2. What is Daisy's last name in the Great Gatsby?
3. This Philadelphia Eagle led the team to two championships and his #15 is retired by the organization.
4. Stanford White designed the 2nd incarnation of this famous edifice, then was shot and killed in it's rooftop garden.
5. Who was the only 20th century president to not get a college degree?
6. Which of these players scored the most points while they were a member of the 76ers? a) Charles Barkley b) Allen Iverson c) Julius Erving d) Wilt Chamberlain
7. This street in San Francisco, which share a name with a Philly street,is known as the crookedest street in the world.
8. Formerly known as the Bank of America Tower, the Columbia Center, a 967 foot tall buiding made of granite, is what cities tallest building?
9. The first one of these books was issued in February of 1878.
10. Under what president did John Foster Dulles serve as Secretary of State?

Off to the dentist yet again. I'll be back in a couple of hours. In the meantime, quick note: I have two sponsors so far for Quizzo Bowl IV, which I'll be telling y'all about soon. If your company would like to be a sponsor (It's not expensive and it's gonna get a lot of exposure), please get a hold of me ASAP. I am going to try to get the sponsorships lined up by the end of the week, so I can put out the press release next week.

Starbucks is going to close for three hours today. If this upsets you, I hear that there are some great rental properties in Manayunk. You should look into them. Oh, and Applebee's now has karaoke on Thursdays. Just thought you might be interested. Also, a quick reminder: Starbucks has been named Philly's Best Coffee by Philly Style Mag for two years running. As for my picks: I like Beauty Shop Cafe at 20th and Fitzwater, La Colombe at 19th and Walnut, Mugshots at 21st and Fairmount, and La Va at 21st and South.

Here they come again.The Nader haters, crying about how Nader is going to screw things up again. I don't think Nader will get a lot of votes this year, especially if Obama wins the nomination. I voted for Nader in 2000, and will vote for him again if Hillary makes a comeback. I don't think that if Obama wins he should enter the race. But I appreciate his hutzpah. Nader has proven himself more of a man of the people than any of the other 3 candidates, and isn't that what a president supposed to be? On top of that, who are the Democrats to think that a two party system is their Constitutional right? I think the Founding Fathers would welcome more than two trains of thought, especially when the two ruling parties are at all time lows in terms of popularity with the American people. Of course, the media seeks conflict, not substance, so every story you read about Nader will be about his role as spoiler, not about his bringing to the table major topics such as corporate malfeasance and the situation in Israel and Palestine.

Also, I am a man who enjoys entertainment, Nader will certainly bring that to the table. My hope is that he makes Ron Paul his running mate. That would make this the greatest election in the history of mankind, and we'd see more blimps than we've seen since that fateful day in 1937.
RELATED: Huffington Post has a good story about why Ralph running is a mistake.

I think that this is a no-brainer, but I wanna see what you guys think. Feel free to defend your vote below.

What female sex symbol got top billing in the first film to ever win the Academy Award for Best Picture, Wings?

I feel like American Beauty is one of the most hated on Best Picture award winners, and I really liked it. I thought it had a unique plot, and really, how many movies are made about midlife crisis that aren't just predictably crappy (Wild Hogs, anyone?). I thought their were several hilarious sequences, and "The King" was a great character. I thought the movie kind of made light of it's own pretentions, and I liked it's creepy overtones. Anyways, feel free to rake me over the coals below. Tonight I plan on watching the Magnificent Seven, which was on late last night so I taped it. Will let you know what I think. I watched Born Into Brothels over the weekend and thought it was really good.

Happy Birthday, Champ! In this interview he calls out Dale Murphy and Herschel Walker. Amazing. Wanna alearn more about my childhood idol? Here's 40 fast facts. I honestly think his autobiography is the greatest book written since the Great Gatsby. Oh,and Ric can also adjust your mortgage. Wooooooo!

Don't try to talk to the lovely Ginger anytime soon...she's way too big time for you people. She was on the TV!

This Irish actor has been nominated for Best Actor 8 times without winning a single one, despite the fact that he one of his performances was ranked the #1 of all time by Premiere magazine.

This actress won her first Oscar in 1933 and her last in 1981.

Gloria Stuart was nominated for an Academy Award at the age of 87. What load of cinematic shi spectacular film was it for?

Only two men have ever won back to back Best Actor Oscars. One did it in the 90s, the other did it in the 30s. Who are they?

Who won a record 4 Best Director awards?

What is the name of the theatre where the Oscars have been held every year since 2002?

Alright, gonna post pics of last weeks winners with a question underneath each. Write your answer in the comments. This weeks topic is the Oscars. One guess per person.

O'NEALS

1. We Got Nothing 113
2. Dorksided 105
3. Vini, Vini, Vini 102
4. Cornbread Mafia 97
5. Young, Old, and Restless 92

BARDS

1. Sofa Kingdom 109
2. Narcotyzing Dysfunktion 98
3. Western Omelette 91
4. Chaka Kahn, Chaka Kahn 70
5. The Beasley Boys 35

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

1. The Jams (aka Where's the Beef) 100
2. This is Not a Bus 87
3. da Jamzzzzzzzzzz 80
4. Trust Us We Know 79
5. But My Mom Says I'm Cool 75

BLACK SHEEP

1. The Dalembert Report 108
2. WTF 2: Electric Boogaloo 105
3. Herve Villechaize 102
4. Baron Munchausen 94
5. SuperDuper Delegates 93

GOOD DOG

1. Fort Awesome 97
2. MAGMA 95
3. C+ Average 87
4. Salt Pepper Ketchup Hot Sauce 82
5. Bada Bing 69

BARDS

1. Hurtin Bombs 111
2. Sofa Kingdom 103
3. Western Omelette 103
4. Mehmed Birthday 101
5. Standing By the Bathroom 99

The Mules won a private gig JGT did last Saturday night. The team included birthday boy John (middle). It was at this party that JGT learned a valuable lesson: married people can be fun! If you're interested in having JGT host a private event, just contact him here. Guaranteed Goodtimes.

Another wild one, as we have a couple of unlikely teams over halfway to Bounty Bowls. We start at O'Neals, where We Got Nothin' has come out of nowhere to win three straight weeks at O'Neals. On to the Bards, where the Sofa Kingdom ended the Dyfunktion's two week run. At the Vous, it was "Where's the Beef" cruising again this week with yet another double digit win. The Dalembert Report pulled off their 2nd straight win at the Black Sheep, spoiling the return oone of Johnny's all-time favorites from the old school, WTF. At the Good Dog, MAGMA returned to try to take back their rightful place as kings of the hill, but got clipped by Team Awesome, as it was Team Awesome's 3rd consecutive win. Finally, on to a ridiculously packed Bards,where the Kingdom and the Omelette both had a perfect score going into the final round, but finished tied for 2nd, as the Hurtin' Bombs took home the gold. Scoreboard coming soon.

Hey kids, JGT political correspondent Chip Chantry is gonna be on TV on Saturday night at 7:30 p.m. on NBC. The people over at DigPhilly.com have started a TV show, and Chip is gonna be on it on Saturday. Peep it, yo!

And a happy birthday to my good friend Mary, who I am marrying in two years.

I don't really cover a lot of politics here because there are plenty of other places to find that, but with the election coming up it's kind of hard to avoid, especially because I do like to discuss it. A few days ago, my good friend Parsnip Cabbagepaw, who is a Republican, said that he thinks that Obama is more cult leader than politician. To back it up, he posted link to this column in the comments section this morning. I disagree, but it's all fine and good. But he then says that the Republicans would rather face Obama than Hillary, to which I say, "You have lost your mind! Sir!" This is obviously the latest desperate Republican spin in a year in which they have almost no chance of winning, barring a catastrophic event. The only thing Republicans agree on in 2008 is Hillary Clinton, and their common bond is a vile hatred of her. She is the only thing that can bring the Republicans out to vote in large numbers, and if Obama does pull off this upset, those same Republicans will stay home. The Boston Herald writer above simply feels what we all feel at some time or another about the people we choose to follow. Is McCain a bitter, angry man who would let that bitterness control his foreign policy? Would Hillary annoy the living s*** out of us with her phony attempts at sincerity? ("I found my voice!") Hell, I'm sure Obama is a little worried about this responsibility himself. And more importantly, if he is able to run a country anywhere near as effectively he has run his campaign, and if he is able to inspire the country the way he has over the past year, I think it is a chance well worth taking. Your thoughts?

My most recent column in the Metro is about strange jobs. So I ask you, what strange or awful jobs have you had?

Ryan Howard won his arbitration case, and even though they had every right to take it to arbitration, the Phillies just come off looking the way they always do: like cheap bastards. Whether that is fair or not in this case I don't know, but due to a long running (124 year) history of doing everything on the cheap, they're gonna come off looking like the bad guys in a situation like this. They paid him a measly $900,000 the year after he won the MVP, and Howard wouldn't have such a short tenure if they hadn't been so short sighted and signed Thome. Anyways, we've got four seasons of Howard before he moves on to greener pastures (aka teams that don't pretend like they don't have any money). So does Howard deserve $10 million? Fans in Philly sure think so. More importantly, I'm glad he won. This will be one less distraction in the coming year.

One of my favorite people in America celebrates a B-day today. Here's a few choice Charles quotes, courtesy of barkleyquotes.com:

• On the Portland Trail Blazers serving Thanksgiving meals: "In between arrests they do community service."


• "You're the boss, Ernie. The white guy's always the boss."


• "They say it about brothers, but I can guarantee everybody in Finland look alike."


• Ernie: Do the Knicks have any chance of turning things around? Charles: Heeellll No!


• On the Enron scandal investigation: "Almost all those politicians took money from Enron, and there they are holding hearings. That's like O.J. Simpson getting in the Rae Carruth jury pool."


• Ernie Johnson: "Auburn is a pretty good school. To graduate from there I suppose you really need to work hard and put forth maximum effort." Sir Charles: "20 pts and 10 rebounds will get you through also."


• “I'm not a role model, ... Just because I dunk a basketball doesn't mean I should raise your kids.”


• "When I was recruited at Auburn, they took me to a strip joint. When I saw those t**s on Buffy, I knew that Auburn met my academic requirements."

• Ok, so it's been up for a few weeks, but it's new to me. A pretty neat history of the Sparks shot tower.
• A few weeks ago, Koob said something about "Buddy's Watchin' You", the Eagles rap from back when all of the teams were recording rap songs. Well, here it is. I'll be honest, it's no "Ram It!"
• Quizmaster Chris makes his case for being pro-casino. A good read because a) he makes some good points: Has anyone ever seen anyone who isn't white battling the casinos? and b) because he makes some points that seem sort of incongruous: This is supposed to save the children. Last time I checked, children weren't allowed in casinos, but get anally raped in our churches with impunity. By the way, I think that Casino is an underrated movie. Discuss.
• The greatest thieves ever in the history of thievery. They stole a bridge. Do you hear me? They stole a f******* bridge!

1. What number will you find on Herbie Love Bug?
2. In what city did the book Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil take place?
3. How many days did Jonah spend inside the whale?
4. You'll find the lacrosse hall of fame on the campus of what prestigious university?
5. What is Robert Indiana best known for creating
6. What comedian was the star of the 1996 movie, A Thin Line Between Love and Hate?
7. What movies tagline was, The Monster Demands a Mate?
8. Whose gang was killed in the Valentine's Day Massacre?
9. When Mia Farrow went through her painful breakup with Woody Allen, her ex-husband called and offered to have allen's legs broken. Who was her former husband?
10. What was the name of the XFLer who had the nickname He Hate Me?

Every once in a while, I get a fairly astounding email that defies all logic. Such was the case today. I'm surprised my spam filter wasn't alerted to the headline "bike porn in philly", but I felt I had no choice but to open it. And the contents were rather amusing: what up johnny, I caught your show a while back when visiting some bike messengers in philly. I'm trying to find a good venue to screen a program of oversexualized bike movies I have curated called: The Pornography of the Bicycle. With all the publicity it is generating I bet we would pack a 300 seat venue, but I am hoping you could suggest a venue. thanks for your time, I hope you continue to have great success with your shows!

reverend phil
bicycle pornographer
http://bikesmut.com

I love the fact that he is a "curator" of "oversexualized bike movies" in the body of the paragraph, but in the end just calls himself a bicycle pornographer. Anyways, I told him the Troc would be perfect. I'll be sure to let you know when this show occurs, in case you like oversexualized bike movies.

The nottie in the Hottie or the Nottie is actually much, much hotter than the hottie. Her name is Christine Lakin, and she's best known for her recurring role in what 1990s sitcom?

Remember at quizzo on Thursday when I told you that Hottie or Nottie was voted worst movie ever on IMDB? Did you think I was kidding? And it's not even close. It is .3 points worse than Zombie Nation, which is about zombies, and Ben and Arthur, which is about the gays. The top critics on rottentomatoes.com combine to give it a 0%. And for those who want to see the trailer, click here. And then imagine an hour and a half of this. If anyone wants to volunteer to watch this and write up a review for the site, I will gladly pay for your ticket, provided you sit through the whole thing.

This week, JGT political correspondent Chip Chantry tells us that we blew it by not voting for Mitt Romney.

Fair, balanced, and impartial: As a political correspondent, that is what I aim to be. Johnny Goodtimes has paid me thousands upon thousands of dollars for my work over the past few weeks. In return, I feel it is my duty to him, and to you, the millions of readers, to report the facts, leaving my agendas and political leanings at the door.

However, in this column, I have a little baggage to unpack; a package, if you will. But for some reason, I cannot let go of that package.

That package belongs to Mitt Romney.

Here, over a week after Romney bowed out of the politial race, I sit here alone, with my laptop, a half-empty bottle of vodka, and, for some reason, a 1998 Third Rock from the Sun page-a-day calendar, and I lament the next four years that could have been. We missed the boat on this one, voters.

Full Disclosure: I am a Mitthead. Although it has become clear that the vast majority of voters disagree with me, Mitt Romney had a clear vision for this country. Unfortunately, his message was not conveyed properly. Romney had some incredible ideas and plans for this nation that the public heard very little about- until now. Although it may be too late for the former governor, I have laid out ten of Mitt Romney's platforms that he woulda, shoulda, coulda implemented as Commander in Chief.

Alright, here's a list of cool presidential fun facts and worthless presidential trivia that you are sure to impress your friends with at the big annual Presidents Day Party. These are all from the first 25 presidents. I'll post the 20th century president facts a little later.

• When he was inaugurated, George Washington was down to his last real tooth.
• John Adams last words were, "Thomas Jefferson still survives!" Unbeknowest to Adams, Jefferson had died hours earlier.
• Thomas Jefferson was the first president to shake hands instead of bowing to people. He died deeply in debt, and Monticello was sold off. It went unoccupied for almost 100 years, falling into a sad state of disrepair before it was made into a monument in the 1920s.
• James Madison was 5'4" tall, and weighed 98 pounds.
• In the election of 1820, the immensely popular James Monroe received every electoral vote but one, and ran for president unopposed. The one elector voted against him so that Washington would be the only president elected unanimously.
• John Quincy Adams had a pet alligator, and had a pool table installed at the White House.
• Andrew Jackson was a chronic drooler, and suffered from the hives. He was orphaned at age 13. Early in life he had smallpox and dysentery. Later in life he had tuberculosis and dropsy. His wife had a nervous breakdown.He was shot in a duel (he killed the guy who shot him), and since the bullet wasn't able to be removed, he had an infection for the rest of his life.
• William Henry Harrison's inaugural address was two hours long, despite the fact that it took place in a freezing downpour. He refused to shorten his speech or even put on a coat. He quickly developed a cold, which then became pneumonia, and was dead within a month. His is still the longest inauguration and shortest presidency.
• Martin van Buren's autobiography doesn't mention his wife once.
• 20 years after being elected president, John Tyler was elected to the Confederate House of Representatives. He had 15 children by two wives. His first child was born in 1816. The last Tyler child died in 1947.
• Zachary Taylor didn't vote in the election in which he ran for President. His death is still a mystery. His body was exhumed in 1991 to rule out death by poisoning, but no one is still sure how he died, since the doctors botched the autopsy. The best guess is heatstroke.
• Millard Fillmore's last words were, "The nourishment is palatable."
• Franklin Pierce was classmates with Nathaniel Hawthorne and Henry Wadsworth Longfellow at Bowdoin College. After numerous family tragedies, Pierce drank himself to death.
• Robert Todd Lincoln declined his parent's invitation to attend Our American Cousin the night Lincoln was killed. He was at the train station in New York where Garfield was killed and witnessed it happen. He was at the Pan Am Exposition in Buffalo when William McKinley was killed.
• Andrew Johnson was illiterate until his wife taught him how to read in his young 20s.
• Ulysses S. Grant's real name was Hiram Ulysses Grant. He changed it because he didn't want to enter West Point with the initials H.U.G.
• Rutherford B. Hayes won the 1876 election by one electoral vote.
• James Garfield could simultaneously write in Latin with one hand and Greek with the other. He was killed not by the bullet shot by Charles Guitaeu, but by the incompetence of his attending physicians. They continually probed the bullet hole with unwashed fingers and instruments, causing the infection that ultimately killed him.
• Grover Cleveland was sheriff of Erie County, NY. One of his duties was executioner, and he tied the noose and pulled the trapdoor on two convicted murderers.
• Electricity was installed in the White House when Benjamin Harrison became president. He and his wife were horrified at the prospect of being electrocuted, so they never touched the light switches. The lights remained on at the White House during the entire Harrison presidency.
• William McKinley was on the front of the now discontinued $500 bill.

In what city was William McKinley shot?

This ex-president argued on behalf of the slaves on the Amistad.

Which president wrote a book called The Life and Morals of Jesus of Nazareth, which rejected his divinity and the resurrection?

Whose campaign slogan was "Tippecanoe and Tyler too?"

Who was the youngest man to become president?

Who served between Grover Clevelands two terms?

Alright, gonna post pics of last weeks winners. All questions underneath will be about presidents. One guess per person.

God, I love this team. They traded him for the hot dog eater.

O'NEALS

1. We Got Nothin' 92
2. Young, Old, and Restless 90
3. All Puffy Down There 88
4. Ann Coulter is a Filthy **** 74

BARDS

1. Narcotyzing Dysfunktion 111
2. Sofa Kingdom 94
3. Pastafarians 92
4. Western Omelette 88

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

1. The Jams 94
2. But My Mom Says I'm Cool 81
3. Philly Softcore 81
4. First Date Disaster 75
5. Crazy NOS 72

BLACK SHEEP

1. The Dalembert Report 87
2. Duane's World 81
3. Is That B-12 In My Butt Or Are Happy to See Me 70
4. Weapons of Ass Destruction 65
5. Choda Boy 64

GOOD DOG

1. Fort Awesome 88
2. Senior Ding Dong 81
3. The Cracked Eggheads 80
4. Team Pacer 77
5. Howie Feltersnatch 60

BARDS

1. Sofa Kingdom 118
2. Western Omelette 112
3. The Hurtin Bombs 94
4. Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office 82
5. I Can't Believe We Actually Shaved for This 71

We started on Tuesday with Ice Ice Baby, where walking was a dangerous proposition. Understandably, crowds were smallat both venues. To those of you who braved the elements to make it out: You are warriors and I love each and very one of you. Except Nate. At O'Neals, the We Got Nothin' Guys continued their incredible run, edging Young, Old, and Restless, 92-90. SPeaking of a run, the Narcotyzing Dysfunktion is the hottest team in quizzo, crushing Sofa Kingdom and scoring 111 points for the 2nd straight week.

The Jams were shorthanded at the Vous, but a strange lack of regulars (No Bus, No 1022, No Trust Us, We Know, no Project Home squad. Come back guys, I missed you!) meant that they were able to escape unscathed with a 94-81 win over Philly Softcore. New blood at the Black Sheep, as The Dalembert Report held off Duane's Minions, 87-81. Smackdown put on an impressive performance (not in quizzo) as three guys from Paris hit on her for hours.

On to the Good Dog for the first leg of the Lonely Hearts Club quizzo. And wouldn't you know it, my ex-girlfriends team, Team Awesome, pulled off a win in the V-Day quizzo. It was Team Awesome's third win in 5 weeks. Perhaps they have become the first team to beat at the Dog since the MAGMA-Evil Knieval days. Highlight of the night at the Good Dog: When I played Mr. Big, everybody started singing along. When I stopped playing the song, everybody kept singing. Amazed, I cracked, "I don't think I've ever felt so white." Not missing a beat, Moose, the only black guy in the room, stated: "Neither have I."

Questions on Thursday night were all about heartbreak and bad love songs. Sofa Kingdom apparently knows a lot about both. They missed the first question of the Bards quiz, then rattled off 39 consecutive answers to finish with the 2nd highest score ever, a 118.

No, I did not get a date. Something even more miraculous than that happened. I got home last night and read the following email from my good friend from back home, Mary (above, who I made deal with while a teenager that we are supposed to get married to if we are both still single at age 35. So far, so good.) I thought you guys might enjoy it: I was walking my dogs by the river and train tracks and one of my dogs, Dr. Stevens (below, in red shirt), got hit by a train.... and SURVIVED! He lost his tail; it was ripped from his body, but he is in surgery and it seems he doesn't have any internal damage. The whole thing was a living nightmare but now I'm so thankful I just have to tell this story. I was up on the tracks with my other dog Nurse Hazel. Dr. Stevens was not far behind us, but NOT on the tracks. We were near a bend and a train came around from what seemed like "out of nowhere". There was plenty of time to get down though. I went down and Nurse followed but Dr. Stevens went up on the tracks where we had just been instead of coming with us!!! There's no way to ever know WHY... but he did. There was still some time for him to get down. I started calling him and running towards him because I was getting worried. He was running in the same direction that the train was heading. He just kept running but wouldn't turn off the tracks left or right. I think he was scared. The Train started laying on the horn. He just freaked and didn't get off the tracks. I watched the whole train roll right over him for what seemed like five minutes straight! It seemed like the longest train I'd ever seen! Finally it was gone. I was in hysterics by now. I thought he was dead; after what I'd just seen I could not imagine that there was even a chance he was going to be alive. I threw Nurse Hazel in my car and as I started the walk up to the tracks to see what was left of him when I couldn't believe my eyes... he was trying to get up! He was alive!!! I ran to him and saw blood and thought he was internally wounded. I was crying so hard by this point because I thought he was gonna die in my arms. He was silent. He never made a sound at all. I held him and realized he was maybe ok... Then Dave and Kris arrived, I had called them in a panic after the train had passed. They came up on the tracks and said "OH MY GOD... there's his tail!" Sure enough about 20 feet down the track there it was! We grabbed the tail and scooped up Doctor and raced to the vet. They sent us to the emergency vet clinic and I just now got word that he is doing well. He made it through surgery and is gonna be just fine in about 10 to 15 days! It's a Valentines miracle! I am soooo happy that he is alive and this is such a crazy story that I had to share it! He's gonna look a little funny but now everyone else will be able to tell them apart! I'm a very lucky and thankful girl tonight and Doctor is one lucky dog! P.S. I saved the tail!

...this one's for you. Go ahead and sing back-up. You deserve it. Oh, and here's a sentence from their wiki page: {Mr. Big was} composed of Shrapnel artist and former Racer X guitarist Paul Gilbert, Pat Torpey on drums, and singer Eric Martin, whose high voice on To Be With You and facial appearance led many listeners to believe him a woman.

• Here's some more on presidential hair, this time in the Inky.
• Pitchers and catchers reported! Woo-hoo! Philly guy Jayson Stark gives you a rundown on what you need to watch for this year.
• Happy Birthday Ugueth Urbina! Urbina was supposed to help revive our bullpen a couple of years ago, but then he went and set some people on fire, and he won't be released from jail until 2021, at which time he will be almost as old as Jose Mesa.
• And here's a fun little worthless fact: Keep the Home Fires Burning Was a Very Popular World War I song. The woman who wrote the lyrics, Lena Ford, died when her house caught on fire.

My first date took place in 1988 (are you serious? 20 years ago? Scary.). I was to meet my date, the lovely Amy Beth Conquest, at the Dream Roller Rink (pic, below). My mom took me to Four Corners Plaza, where I got on the Dream Bus (seriously they had a red and yellow bus which took you the 15 miles from Four Corners to New Church.) While riding on the bus, some sketchy looking girl came over to me and said, "Hey, my friend wants to do you." Being a sweet and nieve young country boy, I had no idea what she was talking about, and had never heard such an expression, so that our conversation went like this:

• Girl: Hey, my friend wants to do you.
• Me: What?
• Girl: My friend, she wants to do you.
• Me: What?
• Girl: My friend wants to do you.
• Me: What?

And so on. Now, keep in mind, in the 20 years since, I have never had another girl tell me that her friend wants to "do me", so it looks like I blew my big chance. Anyhow, we got to the roller rink, and I found out that Amy Beth had brought along a friend (who, incidentally, did not want to do me), Susanna Fisher. Susanna and I had a sordid history, as we had almost been going steady in the 4th grade, before she decided she would rather go steady with Matt Walker (who will be at Quizzo Bowl IV, by the way) and broke my heart. But time heals all wounds and I had decided to let that go, and the three of us were having quite a nice time at the roller rink. My skating began a little shaky, but quickly started to come around, though I still was unable to stop on my own volition. After a little while, and a sweaty palmed couples skate (probably to Styx, though "Every Rose Has It's Thorn" rings a bell), I decided to leave the ladies to their own devices and head for the game room. I put a quarter in Turbo, the only arcade game I can honestly say I was ever really good at. Well, I was absorbed by the game, and after setting a record I decided to head back out to the rink.

I started to skate, and I remember thinking to myself, "I am really becoming quite a good skater. I bet Amy Beth is rather impressed by my skill." Suddenly, Susanna made a mad dash towards me from the other side of the rink (she was a pretty good skater), a wild, crazed look in her eyes. "Jamey," she said (that's what people called me then), "It's all girls skate." It's hard to quantify the horror one feels as a 13 year old on his first ever date when one realizes one has committed the ultimate faux pas of skating during all-girls skate. Girls were skating by, giggling. My heart dropped to my stomach, my eyes began to fill with water. I needed to get the hell out of here, off of this confounded rink! I took off in a mad dash towards the end of the rink, convinced that everyone in the building was laughing at me. I mean, what kind of weirdo male skates during all girls skate? I had really accelerated, but keep in mind, I wasn't much of a stopper, and I ran full speed into the fence at the end of the rink, dropping to the floor like a sack of potatoes. And that, my friends, was the beginning and the end of my relationship with Amy Beth Conquest.

This is, quite honestly, the worst song ever recorded by humans.

Here's my latest in the Metro, about Presidential hair.

As most of you know, Valentine's is one of my favorite days of the year. A holiday dedicated to romantic love, so that every couple in America is doing essentially the same things at the same time. What could be more romantic than that? A mass wedding at Madison Square Garden presided over by Sun Myung Moon perhaps, but not much else. And those Vermont Teddie Bears? I love those things! Adorable! A Vermont bear never hibernates! And you know why? Because true love never sleeps! (By the way, if I catch any of you Connecticut Teddie Bears around my property, I will blow your freaking brains out. Frauds! Vermont Teddies are the only real thing!) Well, to honor my favorite day of the whole year, I will be asking plenty of questions tonight about murder, divorce, bad love songs, and bitterness. Come on out. It's gonna be fun!

RELATED: Bobby Badtimes loves Valentine's as well.

1. You may be surprised to realize that this still popular actor made his silver screen debut in Rebel Without a Cause.

2. This actor, who became a sitcom star from 1986-1993, made his screen debut in Risky Business.

3. The famous line "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful" came in an ad for what brand of shampoo?

4. You'll find Times Square on the corner of Broadway, 42nd, and what numbered avenue?

5. Who was the 3rd VP of the United States?

6. Basketball wasn't the only sport invented in Massachusettes in the 1890s. What other popular team sport was founded a year after basketball?

7. What is diazapam better known as?

8. The center of our galaxy lies in this constellation, between scorpio and Capricorn. It is one of the signs of the zodiac.

9. This 2007 comedy is the only ilm this year to be nominated for both an Oscar and a Razzie.

10. The scientific name for the shinbone is what?

Whoa, you heard about this one yet? There's a guy in Vancouver who claims to be the love child of JFK, never meant to be. Love child. Scorned by society. And has Ted Kennedy tried to kill a story about it in Vanity Fair? Oh, and the guy was born on November 22, 1961, a fairly ominous date. I say hoax.

Quizzo regular Laura is a teacher at Philip Randolph Career Academy, and recently told me about her school's efforts to start up a baseball team and wanted to see if we could help raise funds for baseball equipment. It sounds like a great cause, so I am going to ask everyone playing this week to please donate at least $1 to play. Here is a bit more info on the school and the team, from Laura: Philip Randolph Career Academy, located at 3101 Henry Ave, was originally an asbestos factory. In 1975 it was converted to “Randolph Skills Center” and was used as a place for students to do shop training. In 1993, the school district administratively attached Randolph to Dobbins Area Vocational Technical School. The buildings shared administration, sports, and events such as prom and graduation. In 2004, the school district made Randolph its own school and it became “Randolph Career Academy.” Even though the schools were separate, Randolph did not have its own sports teams. Football and basketball players had to be shipped to Dobbins to play on the Dobbins’ team.

After much protestation and petitioning from the students, Randolph is slowly coming to its own and distancing itself from Dobbins. For the first time ever, Randolph will have its own boys Baseball team.

The students come from all around the city and they chose Randolph due to their interest in some vocational field – auto-mechanics, carpentry, electrical, culinary, etc. 95% are African-American and 70% are below the poverty level.

The boys on the new team are excited to be able to play other teams in the school district and represent Randolph as its own entity. The new coach, a social studies teacher that has been at the school since Randolph’s first year on its own, is enthusiastic about coaching the boys in their first season.

Because the school is small and cannot spare the money for extra curricular activities and a lot of boys do not have money for equipment, we are looking for donations to help raise money for equipment – bats, balls, cleats, catcher’s equipment, gloves, etc.

Hey, I'm looking to start a study hall for one of my basketball leagues, and need nerds (i.e. you) who would be interested in helping some of these kids get their grades up. Study Hall will be on Saturdays, probably from about 11-1 at the Marian Anderson Center (17th and Catherine). If you are interested in helping out, please drop me a line. I am always looking for volunteer coaches as well, so drop me a line if that interests you also.

This time it was Forbes magazine, calling us the 5th most miserable city in the country. The guy who wrote the piece, Kurt Badenhausen (left), is a real creative mastermind. To illustrate how miserable we are, he used a fresh and invigorating example-the time we booed Santa. Wow, Kurt, nice work. Did you know that we also have cheesesteaks? Maybe you can use that in your next piece. Or maybe compare us to Rocky. Well, here are a few things you didn't know about "Cliche" Kurt Badenhausen

1. Kurt's favorite thing to do in Philadelphia? Get a cheesesteak from Subway and wash it down with a cold Coors Light at Kildare's.
2. Kurt's favorite color is "mauve".
3. Kurt's says his favorite football team is "the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders ;-) LOL."
4. Badenhausen is German for "House of Bad."
5. Kurt has a poster of an eagle above his dresser with the word Determination written below it. It's the first thing Kurt sees in the morning.

My first ever date was at a roller rink in New Church, VA. Predictably, it ended in disaster. What is the name of the roller rink in New Church,VA?

Some of you might remember my interview with La Colombe founder Todd Carmichael after he hiked to the South Pole a few years ago (If not, I highly recommend it. Pretty fascinating interview.) Anyways, he recently went at it again, this time trying to set a record for fastest trip from the Antarctic coast to the South Pole unassisted. He got off to a great start, but his partner soon suffered an injury and had to abandon the voyage, then he got hit by a blizzard that just never seemed to end. Anyways, the video is pretty interesting as is the website.

• First off, quizzo tonight. Irish John is kicking off a new quizzo at Tangier (18th and Lombard) at 9 p.m., I believe. I bring up a rival quizzo for two reasons. a) I like Irish John and b) because it's near my house and on a Monday, so if it works I may try to put a team together. Doubt I'll make it tonight (It is Gladiator Monday), but I'll try to make it in a few weeks after Gladiators ends.
• Great weekend. Went to the Blue Horizon on Friday night with Gabe from Western Omelette. After watching the fights, we went to the Sidecar (22nd and Christian) where I got their amazing Crawfish Monica, which is quite honestly the best thing I've eaten in 2008. Finished the night with an appearance at the Dolphin Tavern. Saturday night I went to Jose Pistollas (a place that also has quizzo tonight, as well as the lovely Ginger behind the bar). Great Belgian beer selection. I highly recommend it. Last night I stayed home and watched Saving Private Ryan for the first time in ten years. Great film. I've been in war flicks lately. Last week I watched Platoon for the first time in probably 15 years.
• Remember to mark your calendars. March 29th. Quizzo Bowl IV. Right now, I'm still working on particulars. A lot more to do to get this thing ready than last year. Will keep you updated.

CHOP was recently named the best pediatric hospital in the country by US News and World report. You'll find it on Civic Center Boulevard and what street?

What hospital was Britney Spears checked into a few weeks ago, the largest private hospital in California.

What does MASH stand for?

What's the name of Rick Springfield's character in General Hospital?

What was the name of the 13-part 2004 miniseries based on Lars von Trier's "Riget" that was adapted for American television by Stephen King?

What University Hospital will you find at Broad and Vine?

Alright, gonna post pics of winning teams. It was on this date in 1752 that the Pennsylvania Hospital, the first hospital in the US, opened. So I'm gonna post questions about hospitals under pics. One guess per person.

O'NEALS

1. We Got Nothin' 100
2. Turkish Babies Can Fly 93
3. Young Old and Restless 93
4. Are You Calling My Friend Fat...Tuesday? 66
5. 4 teams tied at 64

BARDS

1. Narcotyzing Dysfnktion 111
2. Sofa Kingdom 91
3. Western Omelette 87
4. Laissez Les Bon Temps Rouler 76
5. I'd Rather Have a Bottle in Front of Me...66

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

1. The Jams 104
2. But My Mom Says I'm Cool 83
3. This is Not a Bus 82
4. Dripping Pus 73
5. Puffy Shirts 72

BLACK SHEEP

1. Duane's World 116
2. The Western Kingdom 96
3. Fine Young Cannibals 95
4. How's My Sloppy Seconds 89
5. Satan's Minions 77

GOOD DOG

1. Fort Awesome 100
2. Dork Sided 96
3. Mitt Pulls Out Early 90
4. The Lawn Wranglers 86
5. Sadma 67

BARDS

1. Hurtin Bombs 110
2. Sofa Kingdom 110
3. Call Me Mint Jelly Cause I'm On the Lamb 105
4. Lamda Lamda Lamda 103
5. You Can't Really Dust For Vomit 101

A very interesting week of quizzo. It started on a quiet Tuesday, when I Got Nothin', a team that's been playing for a good year without a victory, finally got over the hump at O'Neals. On to a mellow Bards, where the Dysfunktion beat up on the Sofa Kingdom, scoring a 111-91 win. Big blowouts on Wednesday as the Jams cruised to a 104-83 win. The most impressive win of the week came at the Black Sheep, as Duane's World only missed one question in the whole game on their way to 116 points. We finally got a thriller at the Good Dog, as Team Awesome (a team that included my ex) made a 4th round comeback to pull off a 100-96 win over Dorksided. Finally, a shootout at the Bards, as the Hurtin Bombs and Sofa Kingdom finished in a tie with 110, and the top 5 teams all cracked the 100 point plateau. The Hurtin' Bombs pulled off the win in OT. To see the full scoreboard, click below.

Alright, I came to the logical conclusion that it would be a hell of a lot easier to upload and organize the teams on flickr, so you can click here and then click on whichever set you want to. I had to upgrade to Flickr Pro to organize these damn things, so you better go check 'em out!

The Donspiracist had to take off a few months to move...probably to stay one step ahead of the government, which is obviously trying to silence him. The powers that be will certainly not be pleased with his latest, in which he examines why our drinking water is poisoned, not by terrorists, but by our government. -ed.

If I claimed that the government is trying to poison you by putting hazardous chemicals intentionally into our water supply, you'd inevitably tell me I'm nuts.

Before you read any further, go to your medicine cabinet and take out your toothpaste.

Turn it to the back and read it carefully, especially where it says Warnings.

I have a tube of Colgate and Sensodyne in my bathroom (So I have sensitive teeth. So what?), and both their warnings read about the same: If more than used for brushing is accidentally swallowed, get medical help or contact a Poison Control center right away.

Funny, I thought this was a product that is safe for the whole family to use. Imagine if a box of Chips Ahoy said something similar. Or a jar of Cheez Whiz. Or a boxed fruit drink. Or a bottle of vodka.

If you look further, you notice that under ingredients, sodium fluoride is listed as an active ingredient. In FDA speak, that means it's a drug.

This is the same stuff that is put in our water, Philadelphia included. Of course, experts will assure us that it has been done for over forty years and that the concentration is miniscule, only 1 part per million (ppm). What they won't tell you is how small the gap is between a therapeutic dose of fluoride and a toxic dose of fluoride: therapeutic is 1 ppm, and toxic is 4 ppm. Hmm….

Last night I asked the question, "Are there any living American veterans of World War One?" The answer is yes. There is one. His name is Frank Buckles and he just turned 107 earlier this week. Here is an article on him that was in the Times a few months ago.

• Word on the street is that it is too tough to win a Johnny Goodtimes quizzo. The people spreading these rumors have obviously never played at the Good Dog, where a one man team has won the last two weeks. The Good Dog is wide slam open. Anybody can win there. 8 p.m. 15th and Locust
• Another urban myth: The Sofa Kingdom is unbeatable. They have lost by 24, 13, and 20 points in the last two weeks. They're in a slump. Now's your chance to kick their asses. Bards 20th and Walnut 10:15 p.m.
• Photos of all of the teams that played this week will be on the site manana. Also coming tommorow: the Return of the Donspiracist!

• Here I've been spending all this money on my teeth and not even making a dental vacation out of it! What was I thinking?
• Wanna check out the venue for Quizzo Bowl IV? Tex Cobb is going to be honored during a great night of boxing at the Blue Horizon tomorrow night.
• Another amazing wikipedia line, this one pointed out to me by Blind Squirrel Steve, comes from the wiki page of former Phillie catcher and current eccentric Darren Daulton: He recently claimed in a televised interview with ESPN that he has "skipped through time" and undergone "astral travel."...He plans to go back in time and break Mitch Williams' legs after the 4th game of the the 1993 World Series.
• I wasn't the only person to blast Wing Bowl (I don't even think I blasted it. I just thought it was kind of boring.) This kid at Cornell got in some pretty wicked shots. Strip down the niceties, tear down the façade of political correctness, and you are left with Philadelphia at its most naked — unapologetically fat and perverted and disgusting for all to see. The bottom of the social barrel migrates to a small plot of land in South Philly to deliver a big “eff you” to the world. This holiday stands for debauchery, for broken bottles covered in vomit, for smoking in the non-smoking section, for savagely objectifying women without a shred of guilt, for donning an Eagles jersey and shot gunning beer after beer while the rest of America is tightening its tie and sipping its coffee.

Here's my latest in the Metro. The hate mail has already started.

Sorry you were not intellectually stimulated at the Wingbowl. If you don’t like beer, wings and ‘wrists’ then why would you even attend?

You seem to think you are above everybody else in attendance, yet you claim you stayed up all night drinking like an ignorant frat boy…!?

By the way, the wing eating actually last 30 minutes, not 15 as you state. Get over yourself.

Hopefully there's more to come. (Please feel free to leave me hate mail in the comments section below.)

The guy over at That Blue Yak regularly listens to "Ron's Swap Shop", a radio show hosted by the self proclaimed "Sultan of Swap" Ron McNeil (right) on an AM station out in West Chester, and his descriptions of the show are hilarious. They have to get streaming radio on their website! I'm from a small town that has a swap shop show, and I once heard a guy call in trying to sell a Go-cart "that got pretty smashed up when I ran it into a wall last week". Anyways, I just took a look at the website for the Swap Shop on WESR, the radio station near me, and I found that people were trying to buy or sell the following items in the past couple of weeks. I swear I am not making these up:

• Free: old bricks in Cape Charles
• Looking for a hood for a '73 Chevy pickup
• Looking to trade deer antlers!!!!
• Electric breast pump $25
• Looking to buy large rabbits
• Looking for someone to trap muskrats
• Free 42" screen tv. Does not work.

Because who couldn't use some old bricks, a tv that doesn't work, or a used breast pump? And I really wish I knew the story behind the trading of the deer antlers. Was the guy hoping to impress some people with bigger antlers than he had? Or did his wife tell him that the antlers on the wall were too big, and he needed to downsize? Also, don't bother calling the one guy if you have medium sized rabbits. Large rabbits only! Finally, I love that someone got so fed up with the dang muskrats that they decided to do something about it...and that something was calling Swap Shop.

JGT finally gets to be crowned this morning. Needless to say, he is very excited."Not sure why they wanted to crown me at a dentist office, but hey, that's irrelevant," said the quizmaster. "I'm just glad that all of my hard work is being recognized and that this crown will cement my status as the King of Quizzo. Pretty heady stuff."

1. When this was invented in 1950, it was known as Lazy Bones.
2. Before it became a part of the US,Guam belonged to what country?
3. What team did Tom Coughlin coach before coaching the Giants?
4. The inventor of the electric battery had an appropriate name. He also isolated methane gas. Who was he?
5. In what movie would you hear the question, "Does Barry Manilow know you raided his wardrobe closet?"
6. What quarterback threw for 6 touchdowns in a Super Bowl?
7. What state would you be calling if you dialed a 808 area code?
8. Who was the last Presidential candidate not affiliated with either the Democratic or Republican party to win electoral votes in a general election?
9. The world’s largest casino recently opened on this island, ironically governed by communist country.
10. The soundtrack of this 1960s film has sold over 21 million copies worldwide.

Answers after the jump.

I know that some of you kids play almost every week and have still never gotten the glory that goes with appearing on one of the least most popular websites in the area. So this week, let's remedy that. Gonna post pics of all of ya. So be sure to wear your finest looking vines or your most ridiculous outfit, cause baby, you're gonna be in pictures!

I am sooooo tempted by this:

AMERICAN GLADIATORS SEASON TWO
OPEN CALL: NEW YORK CITY, NY
Saturday, February 9, 2008
10:00am - 4:00pm

Crunch Fitness - 38th St.
144 West 38th St.
New York, NY 10018
www.crunch.com

OPEN CALLS
You must come in workout attire and appropriate footwear to be considered. You will be tested on your physical ability in areas such as strength, speed, balance and agility. We recommend bringing a workout towel and water with you to the open call.

* Please bring a non-returnable photo of yourself with a completed Application to the open call.
* Open call lines will begin forming 2 hours before the start time. Please do not line up prior to that time.
* Time is limited and there is no guarantee that everyone will be seen - so please arrive early.

This movie marked both Michelle Pfeiffer and Tony Danza's film debuts.

I swear I did not do this, but this is currently on the wikipedia page for the Philadelphia 76ers:
In the first round, Philadelphia upset the gay Orlando Magic, three games to one, before being swept by the Indiana Pacers. But they pretty thouroughly kicked the living s*** out of the gay Magic, a team that was expected to make the NBA finals...A rumored trade to the Los Angeles Clippers fell through, but a complicated four-team deal that would've seen Iverson sent to the greatest f****** city in all the world..Detroit was agreed upon, only to see it dissolve due to salary cap problems.

Larry Kane defends Arlen Specter's decision to go after the NFL in the Spygate case. I agree. I can't believe the NFL is getting off scott free for burning the tapes related to the case. What if baseball had destroyed all of the evidence of steroid use three years ago? There would have been a national outrage. So why does the NFL get off scott free? But wait, D-Mac goes Donspiracist style and finds a conspiracy theory behind Specter's doings. "Hmmm, intriguing," I say, stroking my beard and smoking my corncob pipe.

Yes, it was a great Super Bowl, perhaps the greatest ever. Right up there with Bengals-Niners, Broncos-Packers, and Titans-Rams. And yes, because I am a closeted Dolphins fan, I had no choice but to root for the Giants. And I was jumping up and down hysterically when David Tyree made the greatest catch in football history, on what was the greatest play in pro football history. (The third best play in football history over all: Number one is here, and number two is here.) But I have to admit, when it was all over, I had kind of a sick feeling in my stomach. Had it been the Packers, I would have been overjoyed, but these are the Giants, and I can only be but so thrilled when they win a Super Bowl.

Nonetheless, it was a great time. My dad and his college roommate get together every year and bet a bottle of whiskey on the Super Bowl (they've watched 37 of the past 39 Super Bowls together), and my dad had the Patriots this year, which he thought was a sure thing. We had clams and oysters and homemade hot wings and DiBruno Bros. cheese that I bought down, as well as a Super Bowl cake I got from Isgro's (above). All in all, a fine way to spend a birthday.

As for the commercials, my favorites were the Will Ferrell commercial, the Charles Barkley one, and the one for the Planter's nuts when the nerdy girl has guys all checking her out because she rubbed the peanuts on her wrists and her cleavage. And can I just say for the record that I am over animals in commercials. Talking and dancing animals have been played out for like ten years. Please stop! And I hate talking babies! Seriously, they did a movie about this 20 freaking years ago. The joke is over! It's hack! Please! Anyways, if you'd like to vote for your favorite commercial, go here. Most of the ones that people are voting for are the stupidest ones, which really makes me upset. Man, why do I let this piss me off so much?

Dr. Sandman will be at the Draught Horse (1431 Cecil B. Moore) tonight at 8 p.m. If you know anybody on North Broad, spread the word!

UPDATE: Cancelled. More details in the future, but I gotta hit the road and head back north now. Anyways, no quizzo tonight. Nonetheless it is Gladiator Monday. Woo-hoo!

When Jon Lovitz played The Liar on Saturday Night Live, this woman was always his wife.

This singer had a hit with the song Brand New Key and performed at Woodstock.

This member of the Rat Pack was raised in South Philly.

This famous artist gave us Rosie the Riveter.

This female writer from Pennsylvania and famous expatriate spent most of her life in France, and had Alice B. Toklas as a lover.

This man founded the New York Tribune, America's most influential paper from the 1840s to the 1870s,and he ran for president in 1872.

As most of you know, yesterday was my birthday. And so, in order to honor myself, I am going to post questions about people who also celebrate my birthday, February 3rd. One guess per person.

Let's get ready to Ruuuuuumble. The Blue Horizon, named the Number One Boxing Venue in the World by Ring magazine, will play host to a different type of heavyweight clash on March 29th, as the greatest beer addled minds in Philadelphia go head to head in Quizzo Bowl IV. The 150 year old venue, located on 1314 North Broad Street, was initially an enormous mansion, then became a theatre, then a world famous boxing venue. It is where eventual middleweight and current light heavyweight champion Bernard Hopkins recorded his first professional boxing victory. Boxing and acting legend Tex Cobb earned his stripes at "The Blue", and will be honored there at the fights this Friday (If you wanna check out the venue, I'd suggest going for a fight. It doesn't matter if you like boxing or not. The atmosphere is electric.) I went to see a fight there last year, and was just amazed by the venue, and thought how awesome it would be to hold a Quizzo Bowl there. At first, it was just a pipe dream, but after speaking to the owner a few months later, I realized it could be a reality.

But you don't have to be a fight fan to appreciate this historic Philadelphia landmark. If you like old, historic buildings that are high on character, you're gonna love this place. And this is only the first Quizzo Bowl announcement. There will be many more to come in future weeks, as I will announce the band, the halftime performers, the prizes, and much, much more. Stay tuned.

O'NEALS

1. Dorksided 98
2. Suspicious MInds 83
3. Young Old and Restless 79
4. Cornbread Mafia 78
5. Close Enough For Gov't Work 75

BARDS

1. Sofa Kingdom 105
2. Western Omelette 100
3. Wayne Enterprises 74
4. Only 2 Players 69
5. Herpagonnasyphilis 42

LOCUST RENDZVOUS

1. This is Not a Bus 100
2. River of Rocks 95
3. The Jams 91
4. Noah Scuse 83
5. Corn Speckled Mud Snakes 77

BLACK SHEEP

1. Catdog 91
2. Duane's Minions 80
3. Herve Villechaize 80
4. Fine Young Cannibals 76
5. Double Tree Treats 76

GOOD DOG

1. Beauty School Dropout 91
2. Coconut Crunch & Jelly 51
3. Hungry Hungry Hippos 51
4. The Underachievers 51
5. Man Boobs 48

BARDS

1. Western Omelette 106
2. Sofa Kingdom 93
3. The Duke Cycle 92
4. Sun Never Sweats 91
5. Hurtin Bombs 86

Wing Bowl had to be the stupidest thing I have ever been to in my life. It was asinine, and to be honest, I slept through half of it. I was astounded by how much better Quizzo Bowl is than Wing Bowl. It was just mayhem. It's pretty much everything you'd expect it to be, except more boring. The staying up all night with a bunch of people was more fun than the actual event. Anyways, I have little league (yes, kids, if you follow my example, someday you could be 32 years old, drinking a beer and watching strippers at the Wachovia Center at 7:15 a.m.) now but I'll post scores tonight. And remember, announcement about Quizzo Bowl venue coming Sunday.

Lord knows what my schedule is for today.At the last minute, it has been decided that I am headed for my first ever wing bowl. In the meantime, it is 4:00 am and I am throwing down at 7and Pine, and headed over to Jim's for a pre-Wing Bowl cheesesteak. So things are up in the air for today, but I'll try to post scores at some point. A full report of the Wing Bowl will be in the offering soon.