November 2007 Archives
Digg It!Alright, I'm heading out to work on the winter wardrobe. Try to get scores up later today. In the meantime, if you haven't already, check out my new rap, read the interview I did with Jeopardy winner Celeste DiNucci, or read the column in which I blast Philly Mag.
We're gonna try out a brand new place for the City vs. City Smackdown, and I think it's gonna be pretty awesome. The Smackdown, in which we will be competing against teams from Denver and Seattle, will take place on Monday December 10th at the Urban Saloon (2120 Fairmount). They are having their Grand Opening tonight, and there isn't much to read about them online, but the place looks incredible, the food is reportedly really good (and cheap!), and they're gonna hook up $5 pitchers of Miller Lite and PBR on the night of the contest, and all other beers will be just $3.50. Word is they have 12 taps and an impressive bottle list. This is gonna be fun. I'll have more details (price, prizes, etc.) at the start of next week.
Enrico over at the 700 Level made the point that if McNabb plays on Sunday, he will be booed loudly before he even takes a snap. Which will be another opportunity for Eagle fans to make asses of themselves. So I commented, and my argument was quickly rebutted by one of the rocket scientists who hates McNabb. First my comment:
Just goes to show what a bunch of mindless morons Eagles fans are, and why it's so much more fun to root for the baseball team in this town than the football team. When Iguchi filled in admirably for Utley, we didn't boo Utley when he returned and pine for the days of Iguchi. Why? Because Phillie aren't morons. Eagles fans are. I'm not even convinced that McNabb is the right call to start on Sunday, but to boo the best quarterback in a teams 75 year history before he's taken a single snap? Beyond stupid.
Here's the 2nd paragraph of Not a fan of five (his first paragraph didn't make much sense): i'll be at the game on Sunday, and boo whenever the f@#%@ i feel like it. assholes :P beer is the only thing that tells me what to do.
There is no argument I can make that can overcome that logic. He's right. McNabb does deserve to get booed before he takes a snap. I didn't see that before, but that's because I wasn't letting the beer tell me what to do.
Here's what you need to know from the release: Just a friendly reminder that we will be celebrating our 4th Anniversary this Sunday 12/2/07 from 4pm until 2am. The Chef will be preparing tasty complimentary appetizers and we will have drink specials and giveaways all night long. The winners of the annual Good Dog photo contest will be announced at 7pm. As always it is a fundraiser for Morris Animal Shelter, so 100% of all raffle proceeds (which Good Dog will match) and 20% of total sales will go towards helping Morris keep up the great work. In honor of our 4th birthday Flying Fish Head Brewer Casey Hughes has created our very own signature brew…
We will be tapping Flying Fish Good Fish Anniversary Ale at 4pm…it is a Double Hopped IPA and it is delicious!
I think I just really hurt my left arm while sneezing.
-First off, lined up a venue today for the City vs. City Smackdown on December 10th and I think it's gonna be pretty awesome. Announcement coming tomorrow.
-Quizzo tonight at the Good Dog at 8 p.m. Still no overwhelming favorites at the Good Dog (15th and Locust), so if you're team is decent but not unstoppable and you wanna try to get a win, I suggest you play here.
-At the Bards (20th and Walnut) at 10:15 p.m. The Bards does get the NFL Network on their high def TVs, so if you play quizzo, you won't miss the Packers vs. Cowboys game.
After his provocative, in depth look at Ron Paul, I had no choice but to make Chip Chantry my official political correspondent. Chip is not only a terrific comedian (he will be performing December 5-8 at Helium) he also has a lot of experience in politics, having once run for Class Treasurer in the 6th Grade. (He lost in a landslide.) Anyways, he will be doing interviews with several of the candidates for President. He begins with Mike Huckabee.
"And let me tell you something about that WOP Giuliani," MIke Huckabee whispered with a defiant grin, "If he thought he had a bad September '01, wait till he sees what The Huck has in store for him in December '07."
That's what immediately endeared me to Mike Huckabee: his spunk. This governor of Alabama has shed many pounds over the years, but he has not lost an ounce of grit.
During a campaign stop in Duluth, MN last week, I had the privilege of spending the afternoon with an individual posturing to become the most powerful man in the world; an unlikely profession for such an unassuming, yet captivating southern gentleman. As we briskly walked hand-in-hand along the banks of Lake Superior, Mike Huckabee invited me into his America: an America of truth, justice, and unorthodox surgical procedures.
CHIP CHANTRY- First of all, why Lake Superior?
MIKE HUCKABEE- I like things big, young man. BOLD. Do you think any self respecting candidate would be caught dead along Lake Huron, that piece of crap pond? Do you know who likes Lake Huron, Chip? Gays and Asians.
CC- Point taken. Let's get down to brass tacks. What's the first thing Mike Huckabee would change about America if he got elected?
MH- We need to trim the fat from this government. I lost 100 pounds. I know about cutting out the excess.
CC- For example?
MH- I'm a big supporter of Home Schooling- less students we have to educate. And, I mean, those kids are nerds anyway. But let's not stop with Home Schooling. What about Home Healthcare? Home Gun Control? Home Social Security? If we put the onus on each household, less bureaucrats! I lost 100 pounds.
CC- Congratulations. You look great.
MH- And here is something you may not know about the Mike Huckabee. I was the first man in North America to undergo a hysterectomy, or as I like to call it, a Hucksterectomy. (He shows me his scar, then his eyes light up.) Eat your vitamins and say your prayers, because Huckamania is running wild!
CC- Was a hysterectomy actually neccessary?
MH- My body is like the federal government; you don't truly know if there is a problem until you get in there and root around a while. And let me tell you one thing you won't find in my abdomen- 100 extra pounds. I ran a marathon. (He attempts to high five me.)
Here's my latest, on what local celebrity smackdowns you'd most like to see. The Metropolis asks, "What philebrity rasslin' matches would you like to see?"
Things are looking somewhat bleak for one of my favorite rap groups of all time. Apparently, Raekwon and Ghostface recently stated that the RZA (aka Bobby Digital, aka Prince Rakeem, aka Ruler Zig Zag Zig Allah) owes them some money. I like the first single off the album, the Heart Gently Weeps, but it sounds more like a chill out type song than something you should release as a single. Anyways the album comes out on December 11th (reviews I've seen have been pretty good), and there will be a documentary of the group next Tuesday at the Internatonal House at 7 p.m. in West Philly which sucks because I wanna see it and it's only showing once. Then, the Wu wil be doing a show in Philly on January 10 which is a Thursday. Damn! I bought every damn album this group ever put out and they still schedule their stuff on Quizzo nights? That ain't right.
RELATED: Wu-Tang Movie Details.
A few weeks ago, I offered regular commenter Bob T. a column on this website so that he could spout off his right wing diatribes to an enormous audience. Well, a midsized audience. Ok, ok, so an audience consisting of you and Palestra Jon. Whatever. Bob T. has decided to start his column by tackling the Valerie Plame (That's Valerie above, not Bob) affair. It's a damn impressive column, I think. Bob might have even been sober when he wrote it. And it seems fitting that he started with a story about an undercover agent: Bob sent me this column thru an intermediary to protect his anonymity. I am not kidding. Enjoy.
In his State of the Union Address in January of 2003, George W. Bush had asserted that the Hussein regime attempted to procure uranium yellow cake from Niger -- an assertion that would become known as "the sixteen words." In July of 2003, shortly after the invasion of Iraq, former ambassador Joseph Wilson published an op-ed piece in the New York Times entitled "What I Didn't Find in Africa." This essay was highly critical of the Bush administration and asserted that during his fact-finding mission to Niger prior to the start of the war, Wilson had found no evidence that the Hussein regime had sought to procure uranium yellow cake. Shortly after publication of this article, Robert Novak published a piece in which he identified Wilson's wife, Valerie Plame, as an employee of the CIA. Wilson then charged that the Bush administration had "outed" his wife, revealing her employment as a covert CIA agent, in a deliberate attempt to punish him for his criticism.
Well, here we had a “scandal" custom made for the mainstream media and their continuing obsession with the evil machinations of the Bush administration. Congressional hearings were held, the New York Times piously editorialized. Wilson announced at one point that he looked forward to seeing "Karl Rove frog-marched out of the White House in handcuffs." Ultimately, a U.S. Attorney, Patrick Fitzgerald, was chosen as a Special Counsel to investigate this assumed violation of federal law -- the statute in question being The Intelligence Identities Protection Act of 1982.
Unfortunately, some problems soon cropped up that began to subvert this pleasing anti-Bush-administration narrative with all its anticipated delights such as felony indictments, convictions, impeachment proceedings, etc. For one thing, Valerie Plame's then current status with the CIA failed to meet the criteria for what constitutes "covert status." While Plame had been employed years previously in covert status, her position at that time was as a CIA analyst. Anyone interested in Valerie Plame's employment could have followed her to work and watched her drive into CIA headquarters in Langley, VA. (This is what's known in intelligence lingo as "deep cover.") Plame's covert status had actually been exposed years previously by the notorious traitor and spy, Aldrich Ames. Her ability to serve as a covert agent hopelessly and permanently compromised, Valerie's cloak and dagger days were long past by the time her husband published his article in the Times. There was no chance she could ever again be given a covert assignment.
Happy 29th birthday, First Down Freddie! Man, I miss this guy. The biggest smack talking non-factor in NFL history. Oh, and here's a fun little Freddie fact: He played college baseball at UCLA with Chase Utley and introduced Chase to his future wife Jennifer. And I'd also like to take the opportunity to thank Eagles management for taking FredEx over Chad Johnson and Steve Smith. You think those guys woulda caught 4th and 26? Doubt it.
One of my New Years Resolutions was to record a rap song, and a few months ago I finally laid one down with my buddy Jimmy Fabs from Richmond on bass. He went home, got a young lady to lay down some background vocals and added a trumpet player, and here you have it: What's Happenin' by Johnny Goodtimes. There are a couple of cuss words, you know, just to keep it gangster. I think after hearing it, you'll agree: I'm the best white boy rapper since Brian Austin Green.
I highly encourage you to read the opening page in this months Philadelphia Magazine. It is written by D. Herbert Lipson, whose family has published Philly Mag since 1946. It's called "Off the Cuff", and here are a few choice excerpts:
Philadelphians are ugly...what the world sees is the layer of crud over everything, including us. We're not clean ...or safe...I've been railing for a long time about how shabby we are, how Philadelphians present themselves poorly.
It gets better.
Not so long ago, a national high end retailer wanted to put a store on Walnut Street. A couple of executives drove down from New York one day, parked their limo on Walnut, and gazed out through tinted windows...at the slovenly crowd passing by. Then they drove back to New York, after coming to an easy decision: Philadelphia is not the place for high end retail.
Oh, no! We lost a chance to encourage a couple of blue blood aristocrats from New York to put a chain store on Walnut Street because we weren't all dressed like we care what blue blood aristocrats from New York think of us? What is wrong with us? Why can't we start living our lives to impress the obscenely wealthy?
We sometimes invite staffers down from Boston magazine...an they're startled by what they see...we prance around in public like we're walking the dog in our backyard.
We don't just disgust New Yorkers, we also disgust those vanguards of taste and class, the Bostonians? How embarrassing! This isn't the first time Lipson has blasted Philly while praising Boston. In an article written about him for his alma mater, we get this little gem: Boston magazine, he says, is classier than Philadelphia both in appearance and writing. That reflects Lipson's opinions of the two cities.
There's plenty more jewels in the write up: how disgusting Rittenhouse Park is, how he recently had lunch at the Palm, and how our lack of fashion is going to be difficult for the new Mayor to deal with. Now all of this would be pretty funny if Bobby Badtimes wrote it, but I don't think D. Herbert is kidding. I think he really finds Philly to be a cesspool, and an embarrassment when compared to the crown jewel of haut couture, Boston. So shape up, Philadelphians! If you want your mag to get the classy treatment like Boston, you need to start wearing expensive suits and eating at the Palm and rooting for the Patriots.
RELATED: The Best of Statler and Waldorf.
Short 1887 write up I came across concerning a Mr. Williamson, a Philadelphian who was apparently the richest bachelor in America 120 years ago. Anybody have any idea who this guy is?
What was the name of the man who killed San Fran Mayor George Moscone on November 27th, 1978, and whose murder trial gave us the term "Twinkie Defense"?
- Oh boy, Smackdown just sent me this exciting Pee Wee info. Start getting excited, America. Laurence Fishburn better be making an appearance.
- In a parallel universe, quizmasters are worshipped as living deities. So if this does turn out to be an alternate universe, I am totally going.
- You know how those new cell phones can show your friends where you are, so now they can stalk you at all hours of the day and night? Well, guess who else might be using those cell phones to stalk you? The federal government.
- Dunno if you missed this over Thanksgiving, but Bill Conlin is caught up in a bit of a firestorm after he said that Hitler should have eliminated bloggers in an email to a blogger which the blogger then published. Had Hitler eliminated bloggers, would that have made him benevolent?
As most of you know by now, Philadelphian Celeste DiNucci pulled off a spectacular run at the recent Jeopardy Tournament of Champions and came away with a $250,000 victory. An occasional quizzo player, I asked her about her experience on the show, how quizzo compares to Jeopardy, and about the rock star-like rager I assumed she had after her win.
JGT: First of all, congratulations, Celeste. Tell me, how intense is it to be up there with Alex, the bright lights, the cameras etc.?
Celeste: Well, not nearly so comfortable as sitting around a table in the Black Sheep or O'Neals, but it also seems to go by much more quickly.
JGT: How would you compare Jeopardy to quizzo, in terms of difficulty?
Celeste: Two totally different games, actually. Quizzo seems to be about scouring the corners of your brain for all of those inexplicably irrelevant yet interesting facts, whereas for Jeopardy, there's more of a core of information that makes up the Jeopardy universe. You know that you'll be asked about Shakespeare, you know that you'll be asked about science, you know that you'll be asked about some aspect of American history. And often you can sort of piece information from different areas together to come up with the right response.
JGT: Do you think that quizzo would be a good or bad study aide to someone who wanted to be on Jeopardy?
O'NEALS
- Young, the Old, and the Restless 93
- Close Enough For Government Work 85
- Not Giving Thanks 82
- Cornbread Mafia 77
- Werewolf Bar Mitzvah 76
- Sofa Kingdom 99
- Hurtin' Bombs 95
- Tom Turkey 95
- Alec Trebek Runs Full Speed With a Boner 87
- Narcotyzing Dysfunktion 86
- The Jams 104
- River of Rocks 94
- Can I Has a Cheeseburger? LOL 91
- 1022 79
- Tom and Kathleen 75
- Satan's Minions 92
- Philly Softcore 91
- F Ghandi, Squanto's My Favorite Indian 91
- Mayor's Minions 86
- The Kiddie Table 85
Esquire Magazine recently did a "7 Wonders of the Totalitarian World", and guess what got nary a mention? The most amazing hotel on Earth. Esquire, I don't know who did your "fact checking", but anyone who thinks some crappy ass statue of some dude from the Congo is more impressive than a 105 story hotel without windows is out of their mind. Are you serious? This is an outrage to those of us who appreciate totalitarian wonders. I expect a front page apology in your next episode, or I will be canceling my subscription.
There are some people who are outraged that this appeared on the cover of Philadelphia Weekly last week. The money line: "Where did your art director receive her training?" wrote Solomon Moses in an angry letter he sent to PW and then forwarded to the Exponent. "At the Heinrich Himmler Academy of Design?"
The D-Bag bars will be filled with D-bags tonight, so I am certainly hoping that the nerd bars are filled with nerds! We had a great turnout last night, hope for more of the same tonight. The wild car round is a doozy! Nobody broke 100 last night, and only 4 teams broke 90.
LOCUST RENDEZVOUS
6:15 p.m.
BLACK SHEEP
8:00 p.m.
See ya tonight!
Oh whoops, never mind. That's just my old roommate (and native Philadelphean) Duff with the Stanley Cup. This is the closest a Philadelphean has been to the Cup in over 30 years. Duff works for EA Sports in Vancouver now, and the Cup made an appearance at his office. Had he stolen it and brought it back to Philly, he would have been worshipped as a God here for the remainder of his life.
When they first came out, it was a great thing. The good people at Myquizzo.com were gonna give everyone in Philly a source to go to to know when and where to find a quizzo that night. Even better, they were gonna do reviews of the various quizzos and bios of the various quizmasters. It was a great set up. And then, nothing. Under news, they have made one entry in the past year and a half. The site is covered with ads for porn and various annoying pop-ups. The Dive, which hasn't hosted quizzo in over a year, is still listed, while the Rendezvous and the Black Sheep are not. Come on, guys. Either do it right or shut it down. You're the first thing that comes up on google when you type in quizzo, and your half-ass site is giving the game a bad name.
- Quizmaster Chris reports that some corporate quizzo entity is trying to make it's way into Philly. That doesn't bother me so much as the fact that, as Chris points out, this corporate entities website doesn't mention Philly in it's history of pub trivia in the US, but does mention New York. Which, um, has virtually no quizzo. That's like talking about the United Nations and mentioning Philly but not New York. Except this is worse, because people care about quizzo, and nobody cares about the United Nations.
- Why can't we limit guns in this city? Because idiots in rural PA need them to shoot rare animals. I so hope that bears raid one of these redneck towns and eat all the villagers. That would be awesome.
- Cataldi's column this week was much better. He actually veered off his McNabb/Reid dead horse diatribes and wrote about how cheap Phillies ownership is. Since this is something that drives me clinically insane, I'm glad someone is writing about it. This ownership is, instead of trying to build a champion around it's three superstars, trying to take advantage of them to get people in the park while keeping payroll low.
- Point spread for the Eagles-Patriots game? 23 points. That is simply unbelievable. I am quite sure it is the first time a 5-5 team has ever been a 23 point underdog. And keep in mind that Super Bowl III is considered the biggest upset in NFL history, and the Jets were only an 18 point underdog. Even still, would you take the Eagles and the points? Honestly?
- The Phillies tried to score Mike Lowell over the weekend, and even offered a better deal than the Red Sox, but he stayed in Boston. Jerk.
- Good news for Lancaster native and Barnstormer fan Chill Rob A. Von "5 for 1" Hayes has just been signed as their manager.
- Announcement in about half an hour to let us know if J-Roll won MVP.
She looks sweet and innocent, doesn't she? Well, all it is is an impressive ruse. She is in fact devious and calculating. Today I got back from the gym (what, do you think these enormous muscles got here by accident?) only to discover Malia lying on top of my computer keyboard. I shushed her off, but not until she had somehow locked all of the keys on the keyboard. After trying everything I could think of to get the keys to work, I finally came to the realization that I had been outwitted, and had to restart the computer. But let this serve as a warning, Malia. You may have won this time, but I'll be back with a plan so cunning you won't know how to react. Brawhahahahaha!
That's right, gang. All questions this week will be (at least somewhat) tied to the Thanksgiving holiday. Schedule for this week is as follows:
TUESDAY
O'Neals 8 p.m.
Bards 10 p.m.
WEDNESDAY
Locust Rendezvous 6:15 p.m.
Black Sheep 8 p.m.
THURSDAY
Cancelled. Happy Thanksgiving!
Who wrote a poem called "The Courtship of Miles Standish"?
You guys really blew it on this one. Terrible choice. I'm sorry, but I saw every single joke in this movie coming from a mile away. I may have laughed three or four times, but there was never a part of the movie that I can say I thoroughly enjoyed. Darth Helmet was the only moderately funny character. I love John Candy, and my disappointment in what a terrible character he played cannot be overstated. I'm sure I would have liked this movie when I was 12, and I have a feeling that that's why you guys like it so much, but trust me, this one doesn't hold up. Or perhaps if I had done some deadly marijuana and then watched it at the deadliest time of the day it would have been funnier. However, that would have also led down a road to death and despair. I suspect this is the worst movie I will see in the Classic Movie Experiment. D-
PREVIOUSLY: JGT reviews North By Northwest.
PREVIOUSLY: JGT reviews Dr. Strangelove.
In a startling announcement today, Philadelphia quizmaster Johnny Goodtimes changed his endorsement from Ron Paul to Mike Huckabee. Why? Simple. Johnny's boyhood idol has come out in support of Huckabee, and Johnny is now doing the same. "I understand why Mike Huckabee is being endorsed by Ric Flair. Mike reminds Flair of a young Tully Blanchard," says Goodtimes. "Mike Huckabee is now the man to beat. And to be the man, you gotta beat the man. WOOOOOOOOOOO!"
RELATED: See how you do in the Rasslin Round.
P.S. The first comment under this story states: "YO SERIOUSLY CNN - YOU'RE STARTING TO PISS ME OFF. RON PAUL HAS A FEW WRESTLERS HIMSELF THAT SUPPORT HIM - WHY NOT COVER THAT? HE HAS BOTH KANE AND VAL VENIS. JUSTICE PLEASE."
These people are insane.
Heading down to Virginia on Thursday, and my dad and sister are both big Western fans. So I'm hoping to spend a little QT with the fam watching a Western I haven't seen yet. Vote for which one you think I should see. I saw Spaceballs this past weekend and will have my review manana.
- Happy Birthday, Big Love!
- The now infamous Tim Furlong 4:20 story from last week has ripped to pieces by about every blogger in the area, and with good reason: it's William Randolph Hearst style scare tactics just in time for sweeps week were a shameless attempt to scare parents into watching their newscast. Then the sheer nievete of the piece took it from ridiculous to sublime. Long story short, Philebrity just did an interview with Furlong. He seems kind of embarrassed by the whole thing.
- Speaking of William Randolph Hearst, did he shoot some dude for hooking up with his girl on this date in 1924, then cover it up? This is a great conspiracy. Check it out.
- I don't think that those "Wawa is leaving downtown Philly to concentrate on the suburbs" rumors that recently left me in a corner crying myself to sleep are true. I called Wawa this morning, and the receptionist said she hadn't heard anything about it. Then she tried to transfer me to someone else, but accidentally hung up on me. I didn't call back. I just didn't have the energy.
One of the most popular people in this city was born on this date in 1979 in St. Louis. Who is he?
This two time Academy Award winning actress was born on this date in 1962.
The Macho Man's former manager would be turning 46 today if she was still alive.
You might be surprised to know that this birthday boy, turning 74 today, was the color commentator for the 1972 Miami Dolphins. He has now had a talk show on TV for over 20 years.
This Philadelphia native became a catcher for the Brooklyn Dodgers, and is considered one of the greatest catchers to ever play the game. He was born on this date in 1917.
This president, who had the 2nd shortest term in presidential history, was born on this date in 1831.
Gonna post photos of last weeks winners with questions underneath. The questions will be about people born on this date. One guess per person total.
- Ron Paul wants to end the war on drugs. His first step will to hang a "Mission Accomplished" banner over 125th Street in New York City.
- Ron Paul plays a weekly squash game with Ving Rhames.
- Ron Paul is commited to border security. He plans to build a 20-foot wall along the Mexican border AND one along the Mason Dixon line.
- Ron Paul went to a year of nursing school in Utica, New York, where he was roomates with radio DJ Rick Dees.
- Ron Paul likes the cut of your jib, sailor.
Well, not exactly the way I wanted to start Monday morning. I can't find the stupid thing that puts the pictures into the computer, so I dunno when I can get the photos of last weeks winners up. Hopefully later today.
O'NEALS
- Cornbread Mafia 93
- Young Old and Restless 89
- Dorksided 82
- Texas Tough Trio 82
- I Got Nothing 74
- Sofa Kingdom 97
- Applesauce Makes My Balls Itch 93
- Archivist: Keeping History Fresh 92
- Titan 82
- Nosotros Somos Medicina 55
- The Jams 106
- Drunkin' Dumbos DUI 96
- Six Pack 74
- Super Codpeace 73
- Tom and Kathleen 72
- ***Duane's World 84
- Satan's Minions 84
- That Jacket is Smokin' 83
- Partialy Sober Observer 83
- The Leprechaun Tells Me to Burn Things 81
- The Axis of Evil Knieval 114
- Bonds Legal Defense Fund 95
- Baruch Atah Adonai 93
- But My Mom Says I'm Cool 88
- Todd Loves Cock, and He's Fine With It 84
- Sofa Kingdom 118
- Hurtin' Bombs 111
- You Can't Dust For Vomit 101
- Archivist: Keepin History Fresh 99
- Psychos 84
***Won in a tie-breaker. Also of note at the Sheep on Wednesday: we had 5 times tied for the lead after 3 rounds, and 11 teams within one question of the lead with one round to play.
The lack of nudity at Punkin Chunkin has always bothered me, so next year I'm going to this. (Thanks to Smackdown for sending this in.) Oh, and another strange thing sent to me this week. Jam Master Sean says he's gonna get this started in Philly next year. I am so in. If you've see something strange online, please send it to me.
A couple of quick notes about quizzo before I post the top scores:
- It was great to see the Axis of Evil Knieval, the Satan's Minion, and Chill Rob A from MAGMA out this week. Hope to get you guys back in the mix on the reg, and still would love to see Haggis, the Goats, and the S*** Hawks back out again soon, among others.
- Still working on a venue for city vs. city challenge and Quizzo Bowl IV. If anybody has an idea for a venue for City vs. City, let me know. In talks with World Cafe Live for QB IV, and am hoping we can make it happen. As I said before, I've got a musical act lined up that is going to BLOW YOUR FREAKING DOORS.
- Quizzo is cancelled next Thursday, obviously, but we are on for Tuesday and Wednesday. Tuesday will be another bounty bowl for the Kingdom. Raising the stakes to $25 (in addition to $40 gift certificate) to any team that beats the SK.
- Sofa Kingdom missed a perfect round by one point last night. The only thing they missed: "Who is returning to Trading Spaces?" They put Paige Wilson, and it's Paige Davis. Oh, and happy birthday to Nate of the Kingdom.
The whole g** d*** world is going straight to hell. (Thanks to Todd for sending this in.)
Wait, I was wrong about marijuana not being deadly! I just came across this video. Could somebody please pass this along to Tim Furlong so he can let the parents know!
Not even cIose. Whenever some knucklehead talks about "deadly marijuana", it is worth watching, and when he refers to himself as a "hip guy", you know you've found something special. Don't know if you guys saw this when I posted it a couple of days ago, but it's important that you see it, because it is about the most astounding amount of mindless misinformation you will ever see in your lives. Also, I'd like to remind any parents out there: if your daughter is wearing a jelly bracelet, she's a whore.
Here's some of the best comments you guys have posted in the past week:
- Ron Paul chats with Ace Capone on Facebook all of the time. -Chip Chantry
- On a column about Ron Paul: I know you were limited to 5 items, Chip, but wasn't he also the original voice for Cogswell from the Jetsons? -Steve O.
- A surprise visit from a tv legend: I see about 6 Ten Commandment violations in this comment chain. Repent or face an angry and judgmental God. -Kirk Cameron
- I'd rather have my testicles superglued to a cannonball and fired into a Hugs for Puppies vegan potluck than hear anything else about Jeff Garcia. -BMT
- In response to my Ol, Dirty, or Bastard Round: Next year the answers should all include Big, Baby or Jesus. -Anonymous
Today woulda been Dirt Dog's 39th birthday, and to honor him this week, the Wild Card Round was Old, Dirty, or Bastard. All the answers contained the words Old, Dirty, or Bastard. Let's see how you do. ANswers after the jump:
- This company produced it's first vehicle in 1897.
- Sonic Youth released this album in 1992.
- Stone Brewing Company is best known for this beer it produces.
- This English King had two nicknames. One was the William the Conqueror. WHat was the other one?
- What 1988 film was directed by Frank Oz?
- This brand of alcoholic liquid refreshment is sometimes called "Eight Ball"?
- You'd find Jerry Garcia and David Grisman in this 1970s all star bluegrass band?
- In Spanish, this movie characters name is Gordo Cabron.
- Robert Aldrich directed this 1967 classic.
- Loretta Lynn will be performing here this Saturday night.
Celeste Dinucci, who has played a few times with the Flexible Catheters (and was on a team that missed a perfect game by one 50/50 question), has made it into the Finals of the Tournament of Champions on Jeopardy. The finals are a two day affair, tonight and tomorrow night at 7 p.m., so tune in and root her on. Best of luck Celeste!!!
In a startling development today, president George Bush announced something that didn't sound entirely idiotic. Opening up an express lane for planes over Thanksgiving in unused military airspace will help ease traffic congestion. It really doesn't sound like a terrible idea. So I just wanted to pay credit where credit is due. After 6 years of non-stop abject failure, today George Bush did something that wasn't incomprehensibly stupid. Bravo!
Just when I thought that there couldn't be anything more amazing than the 4:20 news, I stumble onto this little gem. Apparently the Pennsylvania Groundhog wanted to get its picture taken with Paris Hilton last night. No problem, right? Wrong, apparently people have been trying to kill Paris by hiding dynamite in giant rodent heads or something, because they said that the groundhog's head was a security risk and made him take it off. Then Paris refused to pose for a photo with the Headless groundhog, despite the fact that he had spent $55 on her toilet water. Had the groundhog, at that point, said, "That's it, b****" and thrown her thru a window, it would have been the greatest thing to ever happen in world history (and yes, I am including fire.)
-Does everyone who works for NBC10 stick their freaking heads in a hole in the ground as soon as they go off the air and keep them there until the next show? I mean seriously, first we had Lori Wilson muffing a line, and now we've got this. Coming tomorrow night, NBC10 explores a new fad called "Rap Music". (Here's the absolutely priceless video. "I consider myself a relatively hip guy" is one of the greatest lines in tv history. Also,did he steal that "4:20 is the deadliest time of the day" line from "Reefer Madness"?This is, honestly, the greatest local news story I have ever seen.)
-Speaking of deadly marijuana, Ricky Williams might be playing for the 'Fins against the Eagles on Sunday. Wow, this could get interesting. Also, I'd like to add that it makes perfectly good sense that a guy who occasionally puffs on the lala gets a longer suspension than players that shoot people. I think that is very justifiable. The NFL is a joke.
-It's things like this that remind us how important and life affirming the intranets can be. You have to see this video. (SFW)
-The other day, after a game Laker coach Phil Jackson said, “We call this a ‘Brokeback Mountain’ game, because there’s so much penetration and kickouts.” Later he said he was sorry, but not before adding, “If I’ve offended any horses, Texans, cowboys or gays, I apologize.” Phil, I am sitting here with a very upset horse. I hope you're happy. (Link to story here.)
Although quizzo players and fans of Paris Hilton are essentially the exact same demographic, JGT has decided to still hold quizzo tonight, despite the fact that she will be selling her perfume at the same time. "Did we think about canceling the Rendezvous quizzo? Sure. I doubt anyone's gonna be there. I know for a fact that Darth Ern and the entire Trust Us We Know squad will be in line at Macy's. But the show must go on." Goodtimes is expected to be releasing his own fragrance, Quiz Eau, in the near future.
-Regular JGT commenter and former quizzo player Garrett moved to South Korea a few months ago. He seems to like South Korea, but it's missing something: Quizzo. So he has decided to start his own, at a bar called, remarkably, Phillies. Crazed thought: Quizzo becomes a huge hit in South Korea and word of it's popularity reaches Pyongyang. Then, in something strikingly similar to ping-pong diplomacy, JGT is called in to host quizzo in North Korea, and finally gets to lay eyes on that crazy hotel and also meet with his idol, Kim Jong Il.
-Think I have a performer lined up for Quizzo Bowl IV. And let me be honest: It's gonna be amazing.
-In talks with Denver and Seattle about a little 3 city contest next month. Will have more details soon.
-Rumor has it the Minions are returning to the Black Sheep tonight. And what were these murmurs I was hearing from the Inflatable Haggis? Would love to see some old schoolers come back out sometime soon. (including WTF, Missing Heads, Goats, and the Axis of Evil Knieval.)
-Quizzo tonight: Locust Rendezvous at 6:15, Black Sheep at 8 p.m. Hope to see you there! Got a pretty interesting wild card round this week.
-Wish that hip-hop made better use of graphs and charts? WIsh no further my friend. Finally, a number of graphs that explain what "No Barking From the Dog" and "No Smog" Equal if you include a "Breakfast with No Hog".
-Still don't have Thanksgiving plans yet? Foobooz has you covered.
-It's been a rough couple of years for the good ol' Red, White, and Blue, but finally we have something to hang our hats on: The Clap. We're getting it in record numbers! Woo-hoo. Good work, gang!
-Bob Ford to Phillies: Open up your freaking wallets and bring Rowand back and this city will make your investment worthwhile. The Phils are at a magical moment - one in which spectacular young talent is crossing the stage in a wonderful ballpark before a fan base that is wildly anxious, dying actually, to reconnect with the game.
Here it is. Youtube kinda makes the quality not as good as I'd like, but you get the idea. If you like it, Digg It. And yes, that's me getting thrown off the bull.
Today is the 3rd Anniversary of ODB's untimely death, and the Wu-Tang has asked that today be called ODB Day. Of course, we here at JGT headquarters are happy to oblige. Expect to hear plenty of ODB at quizzo tonight. Long live Dirk McGirk!
RELATED: Hello, this is Russell Jones. No, I'm not the Ol' Dirty Bastard.
You'll see above the stories now a little thing that says "Digg It". How it works is as follows: You see a story you like, you hit Digg It, and link the story to them. When they see interesting story that has a few diggs, they post it on their very popular website. Yes, you do have to sign up for it, but it takes like 30 seconds and it's free and they won't nag you with a bunch of junk mail.* And that way, on those remarkably rare occasions when I post something interesting, you can recommend it to other people to read.
*Every person who signs up for it will get a free high five from yours truly!
The great Mike Schmidt once said, "Philadelphia is the only city where you can experience the thrill of victory and the agony of reading about it the next day." So is the case today, as WIP loudmouth, Metro scribe, and McNabb basher Angelo Cataldi spews vitriol at Donovan again in his column. Nevermind that McNabb is the greatest quarterback in this team's history, nevermind that he's trying to come back from a career threatening injury, and nevermind that he LED THE TEAM TO A FREAKING WIN. Nope, none of that matters when you work for WIP. All that's important is that you keep the assault on your own players going when the going gets tough.
In the column, the statement McNabb made last week that he's not the whole reason that the Eagles are so bad (which was an obvious and fairly benign statement if you ask me) is seen as "throwing his teammates under the bus". I love how WIP wants to have it both ways. They complain that Andy Reid only speaks in platitudes, then when Donovan actually speaks his mind, they launch an all out assault against him and say that he's a terrible leader. But of course. Because any old terrible leader could lead a team with receivers named Thrash and Pinkston to three consecutive championship games, and terrible leaders are often 5 time Pro Bowlers.
Of course, the fans that call into WIP are just as absurd. Philadelphia always claims that it loves guys who gut it out, win or lose. So when McNabb came back early from such a serious injury, despite the fact that he could have easily taken a few more months to recuperate, did Philadelphia Eagle fans embrace him with open arms, appreciative of the fact that he wanted to play so badly that he was willing to risk his career by coming back early from a devastating injury? Hell no. They just screamed and hollered about how we shouldn't have let Jeff Garcia go. Which raises the question: Do Philadelphia sports fans only appreciate gutsy though ultimately flawed performances from fictional white boxers, and not from actual black quarterbacks?