May 2007 Archives

Freaking server crashed again. 2nd time in two weeks. Awesome. Anyways, now I gotta go to my basketball game (playoffs start tonight!!!) and then to quizzo. But first a quick note:
Today is Wesley Willis's birthday. He would be 44 today if he were still alive. Rock over London. Rock on Chicago!

Here's the latest in the Metro. In case you are wondering, the turnout from the quizzo community has been a supreme disappointment. There are about 10-15 of you that I am extremely disappointed have not joined the program, b/c I thought spending an hour a week to make a major impact in the future of the city you love was a no-brainer (If you think I might be referring to you, the answer is "yes".) As for the guys who have signed up, I wanna say a sincere thank you for making such a huge difference in the community.
"A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives." -Jackie Robinson
RELATED: Join the BBBS program today.

-Bo has been one of my best friends since before we were born. Our moms were friends when they were both pregnant with us. Well, he's got a baby now named Lucy (above left) who her first birthday on Sunday. It was a great first birthday party. I mean, I had a great first birthday party, but this one was even better. I didn't have duck cake.

-Last year, I said that Tacconelli's tied with Tony's for best pizza in Philly. The accolades haven't stopped coming. 'Nelli's was named best pizza by Glenn Macnow in a recent 610 WIP pizza hunt, and just got a pretty good review from the Philadelphia Weekly.

-Charles Nelson Reilly! And Eva Gabor is totally hot. Thanks to Phil for sending this in.

-Is the next USFL on it's way? Let's hope so.

The Battle of Seven Pines (aka the Battle of Fair Oaks) took place during what war?

Battle of Fort McHenry took place during what war?

There were two Battles of Ticorondega, and they took place 18 years apart, in two different wars. What were the wars?

In what war did the Battle of Agincourt take place?

One million men (2/3rds of Philly's entire population) died in the Battle of Somme, which is mind blowing. In what War did that battle take place?

Let's start with a tough one: Battle of Mukden (20th century).

Yeah, I'm a little late on the upkeep, due to the holiday. ANyway, I'm gonna post pics of last weeks winners. Since we just celebrated Memorial Day, we're gonna do it like this: I'm gonna post a battle, you're gonna post what war it took place in. One guess per person, and no looking them up.

The Metro is letting anybody write for it these days. Not only is JGT a contributing member, but now Trivia Art has a weekly column, highlighting some of the best food deals in town. Here is the first one.

Who was the last colony to ratify the Constitution, becoming the 13th state on May 29, 1790?

Kicking it in the Nassawadox (pop. 585) library. Gotta get my story done for Metro then hit the road, drive for 4 1/2 hours, and then come up with questions for tonight, then host quizzo. Not the kind of day Philly's only true man of leisure enjoys. I'll have a question of the week up shortly. The wedding went well, and I spent all day yesterday on a secluded beach with about10 of my closest friends. Hard to beat. Hope you guys had a good holiday. I mean, every Monday is a holiday for me, but I know that things are different for you people. Anyway, I'll holla atcha soon with a question of the week.

The Kingdom stayed hot, the Jams finally fell, and a new team pulled off an upset at the Black Sheep. But we begin on Monday, with an excellent Wheel of Terrific. Just ask Steve O., who played Jerry Falwell in the latest edition. It was the last ever edition of the Wheel of Terrific, though there are rumors of a Wheel of Terrific reunion. Chip and I will also be appearing in the next Die Actor Die show in June. We're making a porno.

We kick off quizzo on Tuesday at O'Neals. Playing without pop culture guru Cocktails, the Young, the Old, and the Restless got kicked out of contention in the "First line of famous songs" round. But Dork Sided may be the new team to beat at O'Neals anyway, winning for the second straight week with a 96-75 pasting of Philly Hardcore.

No surprises at the Bards, as the Kingdom won easily, posting a 116-89 win over the Dysfunktion and Omphalaskeptics, missing only one half of one queston. It was their 7th win in their last 8 quizzos, the only loss a one point loss to the Axis of Evil Knieval.

A big upset at the Vous, as the Jams finally lost, ending an incredible 8 game winning streak. The Live Free or Die Harders put up 101 to edge the 1 1/2 Armenians (aka Steve O.), who finished with 99. The Jams finished 3rd with 91. JGT still owes the Live Free or Die Harders $30, as they collected on the bounty. There is talk of a possible bounty on the Kingdom next week. We'll see.

Another upset at the Sheep. Duane's World and the Satan's Minions both struggled with the third round, opening the floor to a couple of new contenders. In the end, 5 Dumb Guys and a Redhead edged Lord, Beer Me Strength, 90-88.

Steve O. was a bridesmaid again Thursday night. He had a full team together this time, but they finished a question short, falling to MAGMA, 99-94.

It wasn't exactly the Sofa Kingdom, but a team with one of it's members on it still pulled off a win on Thursday night at the Bards with a 103. $20 extra for first team that beats the Kingdom. Alright, I'm outta here. Have a great holiday!

The delegates began meeting on this date, 220 years ago, to write one of the most kickass documents ever penned, the US Constitution. And you know where that jawn went down. In the illadel, PA, live with out a DJ.
RELATED: The Articles of Confederation blow, let's try something new.

It was on this date in 1986 that the famous Hands Across America took place. So I must know...did anyone of you guys participate? Oh, and I'm watching the 10! show right now b/c a friend of mine told me that Craig Laban was on. And Laban says that the inspiration for his terrible cheeseburger song came from the Good Dog Burger! So congrats, Good Dog! Your burger inspired the worst celebrity song since Don Johnson did "Heartbeat."

I was walking home from the Black Sheep and met these two girls who were headed south as well. They told me that A) Alfa was a great bar to meet women (I've never been) and B) I had to see the video for "Shoes". Watched it this morning. Kind of amusing. Here it is. (NSFW due to cussing)

They haven't had a chance to post it on the website yet, but my editor gave me the OK to post it here. It's about the Friendly Lounge, which was just named by Esquire as the best bar in America. To learn more about the Friendly, click here.
In their June edition, Esquire Magazine listed the Best Bars in America. The only one representing Philly was a quiet little neighborhood bar on the corner of 8th and Washington called the Friendly Lounge. What was it about a quiet corner bar that earned it such praise? Sensing an opportunity to write off beer as a business expense, I decided to find out.

I spoke with Marco's twin brother Dominick the next day. He was a bit more subdued than Marco, and at least mildly surprised by the Esquire honor. "I suppose if you hang around long enough, you'll probably get something right." He smiled and wiped the counter. "Everybody's got their own idea of what's a great bar." One with a picture of a forever young Marilyn Monroe beside the antique cash register, one filled with the ghosts of legends, one that's been in the same family for over 50 years? That fits my idea of a great bar.
RELATED: What's your favorite bar in Philly?

-Craig Laban just released a song about hamburgers. It is, quite frankly, the worst thing I've ever seen. Is this the future of newspapers that Tierney keeps talking about? If so, uh-oh. Can we expect Bill Conlin to do a rap about the Phils bullpen now?

-Dick Cheney's gay daughter just had a baby. It's gotta be tough for Dick. I mean, on one, hand, he's trying to fight this war on terror, and on the other hand, we all know that the gays are the only thing more of a threat to our freedom than terrorists.

-Happy Birthdays to both Bob Dylan and Tommy Chong. Sadly, both men have smoked the pot, which is the the only thing more dangerous to America's future than gays, who are almost as dangerous to our freedom as the Mexicans. Did you know that Mexicans can shoot lasers out of their eyes that can kill you? It's true. BUILD THAT FENCE NOW!!!

-The team above won at a private gig I did in West Philly on Friday. It was held in an unfinished warehouse room, the kind of warehouse room where I thought it was a trick and that they were kidnapping me and holding me for ransom in a place that no-one could possibly find me. Turns out they were just using the room for storage for their company, Neatreceipts.

I have never seen an inning quite like the 9th last night. The Phils score 3 to take an insurmountable lead. And then the meltdown. It was unbelievable. The stupidity of Dobbs going home with the ball. Dobbs felt terrible afterwards. He told Marcus Hayes, "I'm praying I didn't aid in Brett being out for a long time. I'm sick to my stomach. I want to go over to him, but I can't even talk to him right now. I'm praying to God he's going to be OK." Then with two outs and a one run lead, Jason Werth made an excellent throw home to end the game. Or at least would have ended the game if the Phils had a Little League catcher in the game. But not with Rod Barajas, who decided to stand up and quit guarding the plate, something you often see in T-ball games but not so much in the majors. Barajas should be kicked off the team today. He is a disaster, one of two of the worst free agent acquisitions in the majors this year (the other being Wes Helms). Then, while trying to record the fifth out of the inning, Myers blows his arm out. Incredibly, we won it in the 10th. If it wasn't for the Myers injury, we could maybe laugh about it. But a couple of questions need to be raised: would a well coached team be making nearly as many stupid decisions as this one seems to make almost every night? And should Myers have pitched yet again with a 4 run lead? I don't know. There is nothing else for Charlie to go to in the bullpen, and thanks to Gillick not doing anything about a terrible bullpen in the offseason, our season is essentially over if Myers is out more than a couple of weeks.
RELATED: Beerleaguers take.

The Boston Celtics, a professional sports franchise, decided to lose games on purpose in the hopes of acquiring Greg Oden. The Philadelphia 76ers did not. Two storied franchises (yes, the Sixers are a storied franchise, despite their recent past) decided to do two completely different things. The Celtics sat their best players. The Sixers did the honorable thing and played to win. And there are people in Philly who are mad about the way the Sixers handled it. In fact, there are radio hosts that think the Sixers should have tanked. That reasoning is absurd, pathetic, and remarkably unethical.

I have a friend who worked for an entity that got a lot of government assistance. He said that every year they would dump all their leftover fuel in the woods, lots of it, because if they had extra fuel left over at the end of the year, they wouldn't get the same amount of money from Congress the next year. And every year,they got a ton of money for fuel. Do the ends justify the means? No, because they engaged in unethical behavior. It was wrong. It was fraud.

The Boston Celtics are a fraudulent franchise. They are paid to try to win every basketball game they put on a jersey for. What is the message they send out when they don't? That it is OK to shave points in pro basketball, as long as it's the front office doing it and not the players on the floor? A lot of children attend basketball games. What message did the Boston Celtics send to their young fan base? That it is OK to quit, as long as the ends justify the means? That doing something that is ethically wrong is OK if there is a big payoff in the end?

Of course, the beauty of this is, there was no payoff in the end. The losers in Boston got exactly what they deseved, a kick in the crotch for unethical behavior. And yeah, the Sixers will pick 12th. But the Sixers will have something that the guys picking number five don't: A front office and a coach who don't pack it in when the going gets tough. A front office that, while it makes plenty of bonehead decisions, doesn't engage in fraud (insert Sean Bradley joke here). Do you know how hard it's going to be to train a team to try to win again, after almost a whole season of trying desperately to lose every game? Players that were told they weren't good enough to win by trying will now have to, well, win by trying. Or will the Celtics just continue losing on purpose, embarrassing themselves, their players, and their city in the meanwhile?

Here's some tough ones from last weeks quizzo. See how you do. Answers are after the jump:
1. What is the visual processing center of the mammalian brain, which contains most of the visual cortex, known as?

2. What is the only Shakespeare comedy set in England, as is evidenced by its title?

3. The Asylum for the Relief of Persons Deprived of the Use of their Reason was opened by Quakers on 4641 Roosevelt Boulevard in 1813. What is the hospital known as now?

4. What group recorded a song called Brain Damage in 1972?

5. What is two fathoms, or twelve feet, also known as on the MIssissippi river?

6. In what 1990s film would you hear the line: It's Ok. I wouldn't remember me either."

7. How many players are on a side in a game of regulation water polo, including the goalie?

8. This acclaimed actor and director appeared in Rebel Without a Cause, wrote, directed and acted in a famous 1969 film, and was nominated for an Academy Award in 1986.

9. Many people celebrate the Independence day of this European country by eating lutefisk, lefser, and aquavit.

10. What was the first James Bond film?

-The picture above is of Badger Tsunami. They won a couple of weeks ago at O'Neals, but I never got their photo up Until now. So, um, there it is. Badger Tsunamis are the most dangerous natural disasters of all.

-Gay flamingoes have adopted a small chick. I knew stuff like this would happen when Jerry Falwell died. I just knew it.

-Everybody is crying over illegal immigrants. Why aren't people in an uproar about illegal employers? Interestingly, they were often fined under Clinton but are almost never fined under Bush.

-Am I the only one who feels just awful for the Celtics? I mean, they tried as hard as they could to tank basketball games last year, completely ruining the integrity of one of the proudest franchises in sports, and then they only got the fifth pick. Well, Boston, I can only say that those of use in Philly would like to express our HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! LOSERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, so this is pretty crazy. The video above is pretty impressive. But apparently another juggler decided to call the juggler out by making a diss video, in which he does the same tricks but with more balls in an empty gym. I guess he thought Juggler #1 had sold out to the masses. Whoa, this is like the new East Coast-West Coast jawn.

Yo, I gotta work on my Metro column. In the meantime, a few blasts from the pasts.
May 2006: Ginger and I go to Camden.
May 2005: JGT makes his first ever trip to Intercourse.
May 2004: Johnny out late with Jersey girl (she's the one in the middle of the girls)

Well, as I stated before, I tried out Friendly's Lounge at 8th and Washington after I learned from Foobooz that it was one of the top 50 bars in America. And it was OK. But I can't say with a clear conscience that it was the best bar in Philadelphia. So then I got to thinking, "Well, what is?" I do have to say somewhat proudly that w/o even needing to shill, all of the places that I do quizzos are damn good bars. But I will remove them from contention to be fair and balanced. (You are welcome to include them below.) What do we mean by best bar? I think we have to set ground rules and say that it is a bar first, restaurant 2nd. It can still have good food, but that can't be the main reason to go. I'm a big fan of some of the ones in my 'hood, such as Grace's, Doobie's, and Sidecar. I also love Nick's Roast Beef in South Philly and in Old City. Yeah, it's got food in the title, but I still think of it as a bar first. I like Bob and Barbara's, despite all the hipsters. But I think I gotta go with Oscar's. Cheap beer, strange old fashioned drinks, and damn good cheesesteaks. And best of all, a very diverse crowd at all times. You got students, lawyers, convicts, and quizmasters. And they pour a pretty good Guiness at a damn good price. You guys post your favorite spot, and then we'll take a vote, and see what the verdict is. What's your favorite bar in Philly?

The Cutty Sark just burned down. The ship was named after an erotic witch in the poem Tam O' Shanter, written by whom?

This is it peeps! For months, you refused to watch this train wreck of a game show. And then, before you had a chance to see what everyone was talking about (in a negative fashion), it went off the air. But now, thanks to the miracle of modern space flight, the Wheel of Terrific will be reappearing at the Khyber for one time only! That's right, it will be either A) really funny or B) extremely unfunny, in which case you get to see JGT fall on his face. YOU WIN EITHER WAY! Also, the Die Actor Die show will feature comedians John Kensil and Sean Curran, as will Rowan and Hastings, best known for their "My Favorite Bears" rap (moderately unsafe for work. A few cuss words.) And there will be another deconstruction of a 80s music video. It's at the Khyber tonight at 8 p.m., and only costs $5. In addition, there will be $1 PBRs, $2 Lagers, and $2 Dead Actors. This is gonna be a great show. Hope to see you there!
RELATED: Die Actor Die website.

Damn good weekend. I ended up saying the hell with Intercourse, and staying right here in Philly. And the Italian Market Festival was well worth staying in town for. Great music, great food, great times. Besides, there is a decent chance that Philly will be having its own RubeFest this year anyway, so why go all the way to Intercourse? Black Landlord (above) rocked the house on Saturday, and I made my way to Friendly Lounge for a drink as well. The Friendly Lounge that Esquire Magazine recently named one of the Top 50 bars in America. Um, yeah. The owner was friendly, for sure, but even he had no idea in hell why they made that list.

The Phillies took two of three this weekend. Guess which game I made it to? Yeah, if you guessed the 13-2 loss give yourself a high five. The highlight of the game came just before the 8th inning when "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" came on the jukebox and Chill Rob A said, in dead seriousness, "Aw man, I love this song!" It was a group of 7 guys out for the game, so needless to say that the only person who caught more ribbing than Clay Condrey that night was Chill Rob. I told him that I was gonna find the people in charge of the music and make a request for, "I Think We're Alone Now."

Back to the Market on Sunday, then off to negotiations for RubeFest. Waiting to hear back. If City Hall cooperates, this is gonna be one hell of a festival.

After calling Bush the worst president in history, Jimmy Carter backed down a little bit on Monday, and said that Bush was just worse than Nixon. Which is another way of saying that he is the worst President ever. Or is Bush less like NIxon and more like another president, and will be vindicated by time?

Last week, I went out to Bella Napoli Pizza (1524 Shunk) in South Philly with Kayla. Pizza originated in Naples, so I figured we should give this place a shot. They had a ton of choices, and I think we went a little overboard with our choices. Here was her take:
Bella Napoli should be considered a take-out place only, as it consists entirely of a pizza kitchen and a single table. Said table was occupied when Johnny and I walked in, presumably by the owner and friend, since our momentary urge to flee was squelched by these gentlemen immediately getting up to offer us the table.

The pizza had a good crust, crispy on the outside but doughy enough that you don't feel like you're eating cardboard. Both halves tasted pretty decent, but the amount of grease was overwhelming, and it was getting pretty soggy towards the end. I thought the white side was better, and we both agreed that the vegetables on the red side overpowered the sauce to much to be able to comment on it. Sadly, they did not have fountain soda, just cans and 2 liters. Overall, I'd give it a 2.5 out of 5 due to grease and lack of atmosphere. If I were to eat Bella pizza again, I'd just take it home and mop it off first.

While this is definitely a takeout place, I think a lot of what she called "grease" was just liquid from the tons of toppings we had ordered. I would wanna try the place again with a little simpler pizza, though I think that Kayla is right in that this is a takeout joint, not a sit down place. But they do have lots of intriguing choices for pizza, and I might consider it again. Give it a three.

Harare

Mogadishu

Doha

San Jose

Antananarivo

Baku

Alright, I'm gonna post the winners of last weeks quizzo, and am gonna post a world capital underneath them. You write down the country. One guess per person.

Wow, one of the weirdest, wildest weeks in recent quizzo history. We start on Monday, when 8 other cities across the country dared to compete against us in a battle of brains. By the time it was done, Philadelphia reigned supreme, taking 5 of the top 7 spots (with Sofa Kingdom finishing first) and firmly establishing itself as the Quizzo Capital of North America.

O'Neals, however, did not fair so well at the Smackdown. It had 3 teams representing, but Badger Tsunami, the Young the Old and the Restless, and Dork Sided finished 7th, 9th, and 10th, respectively, out of 11 teams. So it was only fitting that Dork Sided, who finished 62 points behind the Kingdom on Monday, would come back with a vengeance on Tuesday and score higher than the Kingdom would later that night with the same questions. The Dorks knocked off Lick My Nutters, 103-98.

On Monday, the Sofa Kingdom won $800 at Rembrandt's (23rd and Aspen, where the Philly portion of City vs. City Smackdown took place). On Tuesday, Rembrandt cost them a win at the Bards. They led going into the final question, but missed, "Who painted the Anatomy Lesson of Dr Nicolas Culp as well as the Prodigal Son of the Tavern, both in the 17th Century?" The answer was Rembrandt, the Axis of Evil Knieval got it right, and walked away with an impressive 99-98 victory over the Kingdom.

Things returned to normal at the Rendezvous, as the Jams (aka Now That Falwell's Dead, Tinky Winky can Come Out of the Closet) knocked off Jan and Dean Need $30, 90-83. $30 cash on the line against next week to anyone who can knock off the Jams (plus the $25 gift certificate.)

An upset at the Black Sheep, as CATDOG finally got over the proverbial hump and held off the Satan's Minions and Rum Dog, 90-88-88. Congratulations, Catdoggers! Defending Champs Duane's World finished with an 84. Strictly Prohibited had the lead going into the final round, then tanked hard and finished with 73.

Onto the Good Dog, where MAGMA and the 2 1/2 Armenians continued was has to be, with no debate, one of the worst rivalries in sports history. On weeks when the 2 1/2 Armenians show up, MAGMA doesn't, and on other weeks Armenian warlord Steve O just comes by himself and teams up with MAGMA. Such was the case on Thursday,and the results were fairly predictable. The MAGMenians quashed We're Getting Quashed, 110-69, which I'm pretty sure is the biggest margin of victory ever. To put it in perspective, MAGMA could have missed the first 8 questions of Round Four and still won.

Round four questions must have been a little too easy on Thursday, as two teams at the Bards aced the final round (MAGMA aced it at at the Dawg). But the Kingdom outplayed Nutter? I Hardly Knew Her in the speed round and that would prove to be the difference, as they won 112-107. Chucks Bike-O-Rama had the lead going into the final round, but had to settle for 3rd with 99.

Dude, this is the craziest weekend ever (until Rubefest, hopefully in early June). In addition to the Rittenhouse Jam Session and the Italian Market Festival, the Trenton Ave. Art Festival in Fishtown is going to be happening on Saturday. This includes a Kinetic Sculpture Race, which is when people make a tricycle look like a giant turkey and then race. Plus, the Phils are gonna sweep the Blue Jays and move over .500. Who needs Intercourse?
UPDATE: It's supposed to rain all freaking weekend. Aaaarg!

There is gonna be a musical protest in Rittenhouse Park on Saturday at 1 p.m. Musicians will be playing, at least until Philly's finest show up and take them to jail, where this riff-raff belongs.
RELATED: JGT goes off on lack of tunes in Rittenhouse.

The problem with surrounding yourself with dishonorable, shady people is that they tend to do dishonorable, shady things. Paul Wolfowitz, the neocon who really pushed hard for a war in Iraq, has now resigned from World Bank under tremendous pressure for ethics violations. Meanwhile, Alberto Gonzales has been called out yet again for highly questionable behavior, trying to get John Ashcroft to sign off on domestic spying while lying in the ICU. Man, if we only we had a person of honor running this country, a person of integrity, then we wouldn't have worry about these shenanigans. A good, honorable person...like Dick Cheney!!! (Inspired by this gutsy column, I am hereby making johnnygoodtimes.com your official Dick Cheney in '08 Campaign Headquarters!)
Cartoon courtesy of the Guardian.

If you can't make it to Rhubarb Fest, or are bitter because they have their Bake Off on a friday, which is total bulls***, then I highly suggest the Italian Market Festival. THis weekend, they are going to honor the Philadelphia Sound, so it should be awesome. And today, I am going to be working on making Philadelphia RubeFest a reality.

I know, I know, you picked up a Metro yesterday. Well, pick one up today because Steve-O (pictured above, with Fabio. God, I loved writing that) is interviewed in it.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to announce that Chip Chantry and I will be reviving the least popular game show in Delaware Valley history on Monday night, as we host the Wheel of Terrific at the Khyber as part of Die Actor Die. This will be the last time the vaunted wheel will ever appear. And therefore, we have decided to call it the "Big Wheel of Terrific". That's how incredible it's going to be. We're adding the word "Big".

I called today to pre-register for the Rhubarb Festival when I got some terrible news: the Intercourse Rhubarb Bake-Off is on Friday, not Saturday. And pardon my French, but that is total bulls***. I mean, seriously, who can enter a Bake-off on a Friday at 10 a.m.? Who? I'll tell you who. Housewives. This contest is totally fixed so that they win every goddamm year. It is ridiculous. I might still go to the Festival on Saturday, but it will be with a sour taste in my mouth. And that taste won't be rhubarb.

So here is my thought: We should have a 1st annual Philadelphia Rhuabarb Festival in June. I am serious. Let's challenge all the local dessert chefs to come up with the best rhubarb dessert. And then we get really drunk. Who's with me?

The NBA playoffs were dealt a major blow when, in the midst of a 7 game series between the best two teams in basketball, it decided to suspend two of Phoenix's best players for leaving the bench, despite the fact that they didn't lay a hand on anyone. It was a gutless, thoughtless decision by the NBA, and Willie thinks it ruined this years playoffs. Here are his thoughts:
Believe it or not, I was actually proud of the National Basketball Association and its commissioner David Stern before Tuesday. I was really enjoying the action of the NBA playoff for the first time in years as the game appeared to be returning to its former greatness of the late 1980’s that made me love it initially. Although he would not admit it, Stern seemed to be acting in a kinder and more benevolent way, which I feel is certainly good for the game. It is like he once again understood the competitiveness and intensity of the playoffs. While last year we saw James Posey and Ron Artest be suspended for doing barely more than breathing on an opponent too hard, this year’s NBA seemed more committed to pleasing the fans and not taking away from the competition unnecessarily. It seemed to start when Stern admitted that the new ball was a mistake and thus changed back to the old one. Then, the league refused to kill the excitement of the NBA playoffs by not suspending Baron Davis, Jason Richardson, and Bruce Bowen for physically borderline play. It seemed that the NBA had once again realized that this is the playoffs and to be overly strict on the players was to kill some of that natural intensity which the postseason breeds. Moreover, they seemed to realize what the fans wanted as opposed to forcing on them a corporate, watered-down product. I was actually proud of the NBA for a change, which felt weird but definitely good at the same time. For a moment, I had back the game I loved.

Here's the latest, a brief history of bowling.

Japanese citizens are forced to watch this before taking a trip to Philadelphia.

Cole Hamels flirted with a no-hitter last night. But, in typical fashion, Charlie Manuel pulled such a bonehead move that people have already forgotten about it and are instead pitching a fit, and rightfully so. With a 4 run lead and 12 pitchers to choose from, there was absolutely no need to use your closer, especially with a freaking day game tomorrow. Especially when that closer had pitched the last two games and 3 times in the last 4 days. Yeah, the other relievers are bad, but if they can't protect a 4 run lead for one inning, they really shouldn't be pitching in the major leagues. But Charlie used Myers, and will continue to use him until his arm wears out in September. Charlie Manuel knows as much about pitching as I do about stitching. But at least I'm not teaching a crochet class. The faithful commenters over at excellent Phillies blog Beerleaguer are as furious as I am. As were the guys at the Black Sheep I watched the game with. In fact, anyone who has watched more than 20 games of baseball in their life would do a better job of managing this team than this moron. My suggestion? It's time to start going to games and chanting, "Joe Gir-ar-di!"
RELATED: The Inky gives 4 reasons why the Phils won't fire Manuel.

It looked like a cruise down Easy Street for the Kingdom and the city, as scores rolled in from across the continent in the City vs. City Smackdown. Philly was crushing everybody. That is, until the last scores were delivered. They were Denver's scores, and they were the only city to even approach us. A team called the Denver Misfits finished with an imposing 138, losing to the Kingdom by only 4. As for city vs. city results, in which we take the top 5 scores and average them together, Philly again edged Denver, 124.4-115.6. No other city came close. Ottawa averaged a 100.8, edging Seattle, who averaged exactly 100. Washington D.C., the capital city of the United States, averaged a 93.6. We'll have more team averages soon. There were teams in 8 cities competing: Chicago, Atlantic City, Baltimore, DC, Seattle, Denver, Ottawa, and Philly. Thanks to their narrow win, the Kingdom walks with $800 ($500 for beating Philly's best teams at Rembrandt's on Monday, and another $300 for beating those quizzo weak sisters across the nation.) MAGMA finished 2nd in Philly, 3rd overall, and waked with $250. We hope to do an even bigger one of these in the fall. May the trash talking commence! If you'd like to contact Denver, just click here. If you have a few choice words for DC, just click here. Here were the top 10 scores:
1. Sofa Kingdom-Philly 142
2. Denver Misfits-Denver 138
3. Magma-Philly 134
4. I am Curious George-Denver 129
5. Satan's World-Philly 124
6. What's the Soup du Jour-Philly 122
7. Reservoir Dogs-Philly 114
8. Plush Toy of the Apocalypse-Ottawa 112
9. Lactose Intolerant-Seattle 110
T-10. Sex Panther on the Beach Slaves to the Grind-Denver109
T-10. The DTC Combo-Denver 109

I went to Radford, and Liberty was our divisional arch rival. Not only were they a short drive from Radford, but they were different from us in every way. They were a bunch of Jesus freaks, and we were a bunch of Milwaukee's Best freaks. So when we played them in the conference tournament at Liberty my senior year, the place went wild. I seem to remember our fans chanting something to the effect of "Je-sus hates you" (clap, clap, clap-clap-clap). The game was close throughout, and I remember, during a timeout in the closing moments of the game, I saw something that both shocked and awed me: Jerry Falwell,at the time in his 60s, was crowdsurfing. There he was, being passed from hand to hand, student to student, from the top of the bleachers down to the bottom, a giant smile on his face. When he reached the bottom, the Liberty faithful went absolutely crazy. And I have to admit, as much as I hated everything the guy stood for, seeing him swept up in the moment of a close basketball game and seeing a chubby 60-something guy rejoice in something so goofy, well, it was kind of cool.
RELATED: How Jerry Falwell changed religion and politics.

...on scores from Denver. As soon as I get them, I'll let you know the finals. Ottawa hasn't turned their scores in either, but hey, let's face it, Ottawa isn't going to challenge Philly.

Full City vs. City Smackdown results from across 9 cities in North America!!!

There are two things that will forever define my 2006: my enormous upset at the Rock Paper Scissors championship and me and Ken's inspirational performance at the Intercourse Rhubarb Pie Bake-Off. It's time to head back this year, as the festival is this weekend. Sadly Ken moved out west, so I need to find a new co-baker. Anyone, anyone? Anyways, regardless if you are baking or not, I highly suggest you attend the Rhubarb Festival. I've been two straight years, and it is without question one of my favorite local events. I love rhubarb. More on this event in the coming week.

In what movie do you hear the line, "Never rub another mans rhubarb"?

Yeah, after a particularly devastating loss, I drowned my sorrows with an inverted keg stand which, in hindsight, wasn't an extremely brilliant idea. But I did last full 12 seconds. Not bad for an old veteran. I'll have more about bowling in the Metro on Thursday.

The bowling party, by the way, was a remarkable success, as long as you don't judge it by my success on the lanes. I quit angrily in the 8th frame of the first game, and only bowled a 103 in game #2. Nonetheless, I definitely think that there needs to be another bowling party in the near future.

Gotta get to work on my Metro piece, but I got a lot to write about here, too. So check back this afternoon. In the meantime, a couple of quick bits:

-Here's a funny sign Quizmaster Chris has noticed in the subway.

-Here's a write up the Washington Post had up for City vs. City Smackdown.

-Philly came in 9th in road rage in the latest poll. We would have come in first, but our bullpen keeps accidentally giving the thumbs up instead of the bird.

-Oh, if the teams playing tonight have any hope of knocking off Philly, they better BRING IT. 'Cause the Illa represented last night. Big time.

Diane Thompson is running for Municipal Court Judge. She was a member of former quizzo squad Team Hater, so I knew she was good people. I asked her a few questions about the position and why she's running:
1. What exactly are the duties of a municipal court judge?
Municipal Court, criminal division, is the court of original jurisdiction for nearly all preliminary hearings for felonies and homicides (cases involving juvenile victims are heard in juvenile court by Common Pleas judges.) MC judges hold trials for all misdemeanor criminal cases (crimes with punishments up to 5 years in jail, such as simple assault, terroristic threats, harassment, retail theft, dui, etc.) They also hear private criminal complaints. Civil division judges hear landlord - tenant cases, tax appeal cases, small claims up to $10,000, real estate tax cases, etc. MC judges work at the Criminal Justice Center at 1301 Filbert Street, at Municipal Court at 34 S. 11th Street, or at the individual police districts, such as 55th & Pine or Broad and Champlost.

2. Why are you interested in the position?
I like helping people. Many people who appear in Muncipal Court have no attorneys. (Defendants are appointed attorneys in criminal court, however.) Litigants want judges who know how to listen to their cases. I know how to listen. I believe that I have some ideas to alleviate the back log of cases. I would like to initiate more programs in MC court that would help with the non-violent drug crimes. Also, domestic violence cases are a big part of MC court. I have represented both victims and defendants in domestic violence cases and I believe that intervention is key to preventing more violence.

On Monday, of all days, the site crashed. So I haven't been able to post stuff all day. But the site is back in business and we'll have plenty to talk about on Tuesday.

Washington, DC natives E.U. had a hit with this little dance number in 1988.

What was the name of the fort in Baltimore where Francis Scott Key wrote the Star Spangled Banner?

Who wrote a poem called Chicago that gave the city the nicknames Hog Butcher for the World and the City of Broad Shoulders?