April 2007 Archives

Way too nice outside to sit here and talk about the Mayor's race or the Eagles QB situation. I'm gonna get the Ronnie Burger at the Exmore Diner, go kayaking for a little while, and then sit on my dads dock and do some reading. Did you people really think the life of leisure didn't extend beyond Philadelphia city limits?

The City vs. City Smackdown will be going down on Monday, May 14th at 7:30 p.m. at Rembrandt's (23rd and Aspen). I will be inviting teams officially to play this week. Once we see how much room we have left, I will open it up to everyone else. Tix are $10 a piece, and winner will walk with $500, plus more once if they also beat teams in other cities.

What spectacular annual event, attended by JGT in 2005, is held in Milford, Delaware at the start of every November?

What popular resort town in Maryland boasts 11 miles of beaches and Phillip's Seafood?

What Salisbury native taught us that it takes a tough man to make a tender chicken?

What occurs twice a year to make Dover Delaware's largest city (instead of Wilmington), if only for a day or two?

A famous ferry leaves Cape May several times a day. In what Delaware town does it land?

In what town does the famous annual pony penning take place, attracting tens of thousands of skeevy Jerseyites, who apparently love ponies?

I'm hangin' out in the Dirty South this morning, after I headed down here on Saturday. The house pictured above is the one I grew up in, though my peeps no longer live there. I am currently right across the street, though, in the Nassawadox library. My folks live down a long dirt lane where they don't have access to high speed internet, so I went to the library (there are no coffee shops w/in 30 mile here). Anyways, questions with the photos this week will be about the DelMarVa peninsula. One guess per person. No looking up answers.

If so, could they get back to me and explain it?

The week really started on Saturday. A beautiful spring day, the kind where all of the women break out there cute skimpy little outfits and prance around town. And I was in the Reading Terminal Market, watching large men eat pork byproducts. The guy in the photo above is the guy who won the Scrapple cook-off by making Scrapple burgers. I had a sample of one, and it was really quite good.

In quizzo, a couple of major upsets later in the week, but a pretty standard Tuesday: Young Old and Restless win ayet another squeaker (this team just thrives in the late innings), and Sofa Kingdom winning in a blowout. At O'Neals, the YORS held off Dork SIded, 106-105, while Women are Easy, State Capitals are Hard finished with 100. At Bards, the Kingdom knocked off the Dysfunktion, 107-96.

No surprises at the Vous, as the Jams (aka Yeltsin Got His Pinko Slip) held off the Steaming Minotaurs, 97-83. There will be a $20 bounty on the Jams next week.

A remarkably close shave at the Black Sheep, as the top four teams finished within three points of each other. When the dust settled, the Satan's Minions edged Duane's World, 92-91. Every Four Papers finished with 90, and One Hangs Lower finished with 89.

Thursday night was when things started to get weird. First, a mild upset at the Good Dog, as a Steve-O led 3 1/2 Armenians knocked off MAGMA, 103-95. That's also where I got my best answer of the week. The question was, "Who shot and killed John Wilkes Booth?" The answer was Boston Corbett. Team TigerBeat Centerfolds answered, "Zombie Abe Lincoln."

THe week ended with by far the largest recent upset, as Why Am I sitting With Browns Fans knocked off the Sofa Kingdom, 99-90. It was the first win for usual Western Omelette member BMT in just over two years.

I know you guys turn to this website for one reason: the Facts. Most blogs out there are full of knuckleheads self righteously throwing around their two cents worth w/o sticking to the cold hard facts. But not me. Nope, everything I post on here is only written after careful consideration and exhaustive fact checking. But yesterday I was fleeced. A news story that appeared in a trusted Australian publication about sheep being sold as dogs in Japan turned out to be a hoax. And so I apologize for once giving you bad information. I take my job as a relayer of all that is Fair and Balanced very seriously, and I ASSURE that there will never be a mistake on this website again.

Hey, here's my latest article in the Metro, about last Saturdays scrapplefest. The pic above is of the scrapple wedding cake. I'm running out the door right now, but I'll have more pics and stories later.
UPDATE: One thing I wasn't able to fit into the story. There was a guy named Tom in the Beergarden who was not at all pleased with the Scrapplefest. According to him, there had been a scrapplefest at the Troc many years earlier that was "awesome. Just a bunch of fat people getting wasted and eating scrapple. Now they are doing this stuff for the tourists, and not for the real scrapple fans." Also, wanna send a shout out to Anthony and Koob, who I went to Scrapplefest with and who really did some serious scrapple testing. Koob told me at one point, "That guy's Scrapple is a little too mushy. I think he's cracking under the pressure of Scrapplefest."
To read more about Scrapplefest, you can click here to hear from one of the celebrity judges who writes in the Inky.

This is downright hilarious. A scam in Japan resulted in hundreds of Japanese people buying sheep because they thought they were poodles. The story contains this incredible line: One couple said they became suspicious when they took their "dog" to have its claws trimmed and were told it had hooves.
What? The Japanese, who are known for their technological prowess, are only "suspicious" when they discover that their pet dog has hooves? And did the vet they took the "poodle" to not recognize that it was a sheep? Of course, the best part is that poodles totally suck and sheep are kind of funny, so these people were better off with sheep anyway.

An epic round two this week, as we played an exciting edition of, "NAME...THAT...BALDWIN." Is it Alec, Daniel, William, or Steven? Let's see how you do (see answers by clicking "continue reading"):

Round Two: Name that Baldwin!
1. This Baldwin was BizMarkie's teammate on Celebrity Fit Club.
2. Called Dick Cheney a lying, thieving oil whore and murderer of the US Constitution
3. Starred in the Movie Flatliners
4. This Baldwin stole an SUV in November of 2006
5. Appeared in Usual Suspects
6. Married to a former member of Wilson Phillips
7. Starred in Bio-Dome
8. In the movie Malice, stated, "I am God."
9. Is a born again christian who has started his own ministry.
10. Has a daughter who is a rude thoughtless little pig

Maybe all it took was Charlie Manuel going after Howard Eskin for this team to turn it around, but they have been hitting the tar out of the ball ever since. Which leaves a couple of questions. Shoud they move Rollins back, since he is leading the NL in homers, so he can start hitting homers with runners on? Should they trade Aaron Rowan while he's hot? Is Pat the Bat really as good as he looks? And will Matt Smith ever play in a major league game again? Your thoughts, concerns? Oh, and even better news: the Braves totally choked last night, in one of those games that can really start a team on a slump. Let's hope so.
RELATED: Beerleaguer weighs in on Phils game last night.

-In 1990, somebody at ABC had an idea. "What if we took a cop show and turned it into a heartwarming musical?" And the top brass at ABC said, "It's so crazy, it just might work!" And Cop Rock was born. It didn't work. It was just too artistic for American audiences.

-Pretty fascinating and scandalous history of American Bandstand.

-Sal Fasano could be called back up to the majors. The Blue Jays need a catcher, and they just picked up Fasano. We play the Blue Jays next month. And it would be cool if, in the 9th inning, Sal stepped aside and let a ball get past him with a runner on 3rd in a tie game and the runner scored and then Fasano pointed up at Sal's Pals, who have reunited one last time, and says, "That was for you guys." That would be awesome.

-I will totally change my mind and get behind Philly casinos if they'll let us bet on stuff like this:
British bookmakers wasted no time slashing the odds on aliens being discovered after astronomers announced Wednesday that they had discovered an Earth-like planet. William Hill cut the odds on proving the existence of extra-terrestrial life from 1,000-1 to 100-1.

On Friday night, I finally kicked off the 2007 Pizza Hunt in the Great Northeast with D-Mac. We decided to head to Merc's (8108 Roosevelt Blvd), a non-descript but quite good pizzeria in a strip mall. Here was D-Mac's take:
When Johnny suggested somewhere in the Northeast, I knew we had to go to somewhere good. Of all the sections of Philadelphia, Northeast Philly has the best pizza. After brushing off the billboard directing us to the $4.99 pizza buffet in Bristol, we pulled up to a small shopping center off Holme Circle and Johnny got this first taste of Merc's.

Merc's doesn't have the best decor or atmosphere, but it really makes up for it with the pizza. Somebody once told me it's an offshoot of Tony's,
but there isn't a Wikipedia page for either so I don't know if it's true. Like Tony's, Merc's makes both regular and tomato pies, with the sauce on top.

Alright, we had our fun with Denver. Almost. But first...I was in Denver last year, and while it is a pretty nice city, the fever they have for their baseball team is...non-existent. They built the stadium way too big, so when their usual crowd of about 15,000 shows up it's kind of sad. Then those people just stare at the field for three hours. No cheering, no booing, I swear they just stare at the field. And the people there are none too bright either. We were giving away $25 gas cards to anyone who could beat me at hula-hooping, and nobody would do it! It was amazing. Those cards woulda been gone in 10 minutes in Philly, but in Denver, people just got uncomfortable and ran off (kind of like girls I talk to in bars). Anyways, I don't got much on Seattle, b/c I've never been. But in case you're wondering, it is one of the few cities we can make fun f b/c they haven't won a sports title since 1979. Now, bash away at the Emerald City.

Today is Ginger's B-day. Her party is tonight at Bob and Barbara's at 9p.m. and you are all invited to swing by. If you want, you can wish her a Happy B-day below in comments or on her Myspace page. She's turning the big two-nine.

The following was taken from Dicker's Geeks Who Drink website (yes, Denver's head quizmaster is named Dicker). If anyone would care to respond, I heartily invite you to go to Dicker's website and start talking smack.
Hey, Philly: When did you guys last have a championship that was at any level above a father & son game, 1983? Talk all you want about the body bag game but lets face facts, it PALES in comparison to THE DRIVE. The most talented athlete to come out of there isn't even real, but the guy that played him is...though he’s a 60 year old man getting busted in foreign countries with enough HGH to make Barry Bonds blush, boy Philly's battin' a thousand in the "we're almost great" category.

You can remember what that’s like right? Well, at least what its like to bat .300, I never thought we'd ever have to say "PLEASE COME BACK JOHN KRUCK!" So keep swingin for the fences kids, because come quiz time, we're gonna whomp you like you're a hooker and we’re Charlie Sheen on an 8 ball and a 6 pack of PBR tall boys! Later ya bastards!
RELATED: How much should we play for?

That bowling party I was tellig y'all about is a go. Being put on by some members of Narcotizing Dysfunktion, including Badmintonstamper Philabuster, this is the best deal of any party I have ever heard of in my life. $10 for all you can drink and all you can bowl. Here's the release:
Basically, we’ll provide all you can drink beer, all you can eat fresh Philly pretzels, and free bowling on 12 lanes. We’re capping entry to 150 people, so everyone should get plenty of rollin’ in. We haven’t finalized the DJ line-up yet, but we promise it’ll be first-rate BadmintonStamps approved goodness. What do they call it? indiedance.cocainesexjams.thebangers? That music..

‘Cause we need to know how much booze to buy & how many people are coming to keep the party under control, we’re doing advance ticket sales. To buy tickets, click here. Please buy your ticket ASAP!
Friday, May 11th, 2007
9PM - 1AM
16th & Shunk
Philadelphia, PA, USA
$10

Here's what Dwayne Wade is doing, and here's a great quote from one of the best players in the NBA:
"I want to change communities, not just one community," he says. "I want to help change communities in our inner-cities, for our youth, for our black kids, for all of the young ethnic kids, to change their whole outlook on life. These kids don't experience the world; they are living in boxes. I want them to have the opportunity to get out there, experience what the world is about, not just what the 'hood is about. I want to have to do my part to make sure that they experience the world."
Change a childs outlook on life TODAY. Make this city a better place! You don't just change the life of one child forever, you change the life of that child and everyone they come in contact with forever. And don't tell me you don't have enough time. Bullshit. If you've got 6-8 hours a month to play quizzo, you've got 6-8 hours a month to make Philadelphia a better city. And to the guys who have signed up already, I say thank you. Everybody talks the talk, but you guys walked the walk.

What was war was started by the Thornton Affair?

...but the Phillies are 3-0 since Scrapplefest.

Alright, the City vs. Smackdown is starting to come together nicely. We have venues confirmed in Denver, Seattle, DC, Toronto, and here. I think I have a venue all ready to go, I just have to confirm this afternoon. Will let you know as soon as it is confirmed. It is gonna start as an invitational. I will be offering certain teams invites. Once that is done, I will open it up for other teams to enter, if there is any room left. I need a little help from you guys though. I need to know if you wanna keep it on the cheap or if you wanna play for big money. I can charge $5 a head, and winner walks with $250 ($75 for second), or we can go $10 a head and winner gets $500 ($150 for 2nd). That would be in addition to the $250 (currently) you will win if you beat all the teams in the other cities. There is limited seating, and I expect us to have a crowd of about 100-125. This is not a Quizzo Bowl type thing. No band, no dancers, just damn hard questions and some damn good teams. If you think your team is gonna win, I would suggest going $10 a head. Please answer the poll below if you plan to play.

-Yeah, today is the Bard of Avons b-day, and to celebrate, you might wanna think about seeing some of the shows in the Philadelphia Shakespeare Festival, which is currently going on. I think. Their website is kind of confusing, or more likely I'm just dumb. But I think the shows take place at 2111 Sansom Street, and it lasts through mid May. For more info, click here. Tonight, the Comedysportz crew takes on Shakespeare. They are an incredibly talented bunch, and I'm sure it's gonna be a funny show.

-Rock Paper Scissors season is kicking off at Bob and Barbara's (15th and South) tonight at 7 p.m. And yes, I did check with the Jam Master before I posted this.

-I pick on Philadelphia Magazine a fair amount, but I must give credit where credit is due. I thought Jason Fagone's column this past month on Brian Tierney was pretty damn good. (Yeah, I know it came out like a month ago. I'm a slow reader.)

Philly just got trashed by New Orleans governor Ray Nagin. And to be honest, I'm kind of glad. A city that has turned its back on recycling deserves to get smacked in the face. That being said, be sure to recycle! You don't need a bin to recycle, you just can get a trash can and write recycling on the side.

It's noon on Monday, and you need something to get you through the second half of you day. I think this may do the trick (Warning: The volume on this thing is way too loud, so turn the volume down). Alright, Art and I are off to get some pizza. Me and D-Mac had some on Friday, and when he gives me his 2 cents I'll let you know how it was.
NOTE: When I posted this, I honestly had no idea he just died. Someone just sent me an email with him dancing in it. That being said, though, Boris always struck me as a pretty fun loving guy, and I don't think he'd mind being honored by posting his dance moves.

I've been watching baseball for 25 years, and yet I saw two things for the first time ever live this weekend. On Saturday, I went to original Nick's Roast Beef (20th and Jackson) to watch the Phils game after being infuriated by Trash Gordon on Friday night. I was with Mike of the Minions. In the bottom of the fifth, the Reds got men on first and second with nobody out. Then one of the craziest things that has ever happened in my life occurred. Ploddingly slow David Ross stepped to the plate. Mike turns to me and says, I swear to God, "Well this is the one guy on their team who is so slow he could hit into a triple play." On the next pitch, David Ross hit into a 5-4-3 triple play. I totally freaked. "No way!" I screamed "No freaking way." The people in the restaurant, several of whom weren't watching the game, turned and looked at me like I was crazy. It was the first time I had ever seen a triple play live, and Mike had called it. Then, on Sunday night, the Red Sox pull off back to back to back to back home runs, something I had ever seen live and the first time it had happened in the American League since 1964. I'm going to the game tonight, and we're gonna kill the Astros, as long as we don't bring Trash into the game.

This great actor was the star of Shakespeare's theatre company, and was the first person to ever play the roles of Hamlet, Othello, and King Lear.

Who wrote Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead, a play about two minor characters in Hamlet?

The brother of one of the most hated villains in American history is considered by many to be the foremost Shakeperean actor of the 19th century, and actually owned the Walnut Street Theatre for a short time. Who is the villain?

Sonnets 127-152 are very sexual in nature, and are addressed to this mysterious woman.

Many conspiracy theorists believe that the Earl of Oxford was the actual author of the Shakeseare plays and poems. What was the Earl's name?

What was the name of Shakespeare's wife?

Alright, I'm gonna post pics of last weeks winners and put a question below. Since April 23 was both a birth date and death date for Shakespeare, I gotta ask questions about him. One guess per person.

The week started with an unfortunate loss by my crack team at Dark Horse Quizzo. Then, on Tuesday, we saw a huge blowout at the Bards. The Young, the Old, and the Restless, blew out Philly Hardcore, 106-79. Defending Champs Dork Sided finished with a 55.

On to the Bards, where we saw a memorable meltdown. The Sofa Kingdom and the Narcotyzing Dysfunktion entered the final round tied at 58. On the weekly double, the question was asked, "Before the Titanic sank, the White Star Line was going to name it's sister ship this, which sounds like Titanic." The Narcotizers got it right (Gigantic). The Kingdom had Gigantic written down, but in a brief fit of insanity, changed it to Titanic II. Their defense: they had been drinking at the Phils game. (Best answer to that question, though, came from Hitler Wore a Spam Shirt, who guessed "Super Titanic".

The Jams headed into the final round down four to Nottingham Hill, but blew past them in the final frame to notch a 110-89 win. It is their 4th win in a row. A bounty next week? Certainly a possibility.

Things were a lot tighter at the Black Sheep. Duane's World kept their heads above water during the rap round, and was still within 8 points of Catdog after three rounds. In the final round, they made their move, and edged a CatDog team still anxious for their first win, 90-88.

A MAGMA-less field at the Good Dog, and Fat Kid 6 too full advantage of it to come away with a 90-81 win over Fun Rocket. Team F****** Awesome put fought the good fight, and finished in 3rd with 79.

A emotional night at the Bards, as long time Satan's Minions member Diane would be taking the field for the final time before moving to DC. The Minions entered the final round down three to the Kingdom, but fought on and came away with a 111-104 win. My Pubic Hair is an Exact Replica of Tom Selleck's Moustache finished with 82.

NBC, which thought that the best way to honor the victims of this weeks massacre was to glorify their killer and let his thoughts be known, is starting to face a backlash. Matt Lauer made the lamest defense, saying, "But we've made the decision because, by showing some of this material, perhaps it will help us understand the question why. Why did it happen?" Well, gee, Matt, why don't you show us some child pornography so we can try to figure out why. Why do people watch it? It's simple, because gratuitous and disgusting pornographic acts are not meant for the public airwaves. Nor should we give over our airwaves to pieces of human filth who want to inspire a cult like following. NBC, when it sent out the materials to other stations, demanded that its logo be stamped in the corner and said that other stations must give mandatory credit to NBC News. They're hoping that the recent mass murder will lead to an increase in ratings for Scrubs. Hey NBC, sorry there couldn't have been a camera inside the schoolroom when the guy killed the Amish girls. After all, I'm sure it could have helped us understand, "Why?" Too bad, b/c that would have been a ratings bonanza, you sick f****. Interesting, isn't it, that Don Imus is too disgusting to speak on NBC, but mass murderers aren't?
RELATED: NBC Exploits Killings for Ratings.

Ok, so this is weird, and I'm kind of wondering it it's true. There is a politician in India named Adolf Lu Hitler Marak. He is in the state of Maghalaya. While reading about him, I came to this sentence, "It may be noted that his name is not particularly curious within Meghalaya, where other local politicians are named Lenin R. Marak, Stalin L. Nangmin, Frankenstein W. Momin, or Tony Curtis Lyngdoh." Hitler, Lenin, Stalin, Frankenstein, Tony Curtis. A five headed hydra of evil, if you ask me.

This is wild.

Do you believe in Miracles? Yes! The Nats loaded the bases with nobody out in the 9th, but the Phils escaped with a 4-2 win. Hallelujah! Btw, as D-Mac says, shouldn't they trade Rowan right now that he's hitting so well? Also, Mitch WIlliams is excellent in the post game coverage. Seriously, he is really good.

Nothing really interesting in the news today, so I found myself flipping thru phillyhistory.org (via Phawker). Found some great stuff. First saw a pic of the Horn and Hardart Automat, where you bought your lunch from a vending machine. It was the original fast food, and it began in Philadelphia. For some more pics and info on Horn and Hardart, click here. Then I came upon the phillyhistory.org blog. This is awesome. Stories about how bad Philly's drinking water was, the Divine Lorraine, and about the legendary Man Full of Trouble Tavern. Here's the best part from the drinking water story:
Schuylkill water was so bad by the late 19th century that "...a physician offered $50 to anyone who would drink a quart of it ten nights in a row. Each evening, the doomed man comes on stage, the stipulated amount of water is brought out and he takes the draught to slow music before a sympathetic audience. It is the agreement that if he vomits or dies, he will lose the prize."

Doctors were so much more fun back then, offering prizes for not dying, then forcing people to drink typhoid water. Now it almost seems like they're trying to saaaave lives. BORRRR-RING. I may not be a doctor (at least not officially licensed as such), but I am carrying on this proud tradition nonetheless. I will pay $50 to anyone who will drink water from the Schuylkill 10 nights in a row. If you vomit or die, you will lose the prize.

Here's the link to this weeks story on Philadelphia native Mario Lanza, who was an international superstar in the 1950s. Here's a link to him singing. Here's some more background info on him.

Wow, things are really getting nutty now. Charlie Manuel reportedly challenged Howard Eskin to a fight last night. Now had he actually fought Eskin and beaten his ass, we would clamoring for the Phils to sign Charlie to a lucrative extension. But instead there was just some yelling and, at the end of the day, all we have is the second worst team in the majors (only the Royals, who my intramural softball team beat a few weeks ago, are worse) and Howard Eskin still on the air.

I have to admit, I like Charlie, and this makes me like him even more (We're both from VA, so that makes us peoples). And it's not his fault that the only player on this team that can hit is the one we were most worried about (Pat the Bat) and that if you sent up a decent junior high team against major league pitching I really don't think they would do worse than .200 with runners in scoring position. But the fact is that he's not a good National League manager, and I can't understand why the Phillies will yet again let the best available manager get signed by someone else while we sit on our thumbs and get worse and worse. You would have thought we would have learned when we let Jim Leyland go. Yet Joe Girardi continues to announce games, will get signed eventually, and turn some team around. But hey, look at the bright side: since we are trailing every game by the 5th inning, we haven't even really had to deal with our biggest weakness, the bullpen. So the $64,000 question is: Will Charlie make it out of April?

-Scrapplefest is being held this weekend at Reading Terminal. They will actually be showing how scrapple is made. It's a fascinating process which involves sweeping hot dog leftovers off the floor of the slaughterhouse.

-This is incredible. A guy bought a hamburger from McDonalds 18 years ago, and it hasn't decomposed at all! He says that flies won't even touch it.

-How do strawberry milkshakes get their red coloring? Ground up beetles, of course.

...and they're spectacular. If you see Trivia Art or I crying today, worry not: they are tears of joy.

Been kind of light on the postings today cause I had to work on the ol' Metro piece. Here's a few things:
-Words are funny.
-Shirts are funny.
-I bought a new washer/dryer yesterday, the first home appliance I have ever bought new in my life. This is big for me. I'll have some photos tommorrow. That's right, washer/dryer photos. Start getting excited.

A happy birthday to Rowdy Roddy Piper and Michael Sembello, who both turn 53 today. Are they twins? I mean, Rowdy Roddy certainly was a Maniac. Oh, and in case you didn't know it, Sembello is from Philly.

Yeah, my ringer didn't make it, but we still made a pretty good showing at Dark Horse, finishing 2nd. Palestra Jon goes for three straight next Monday. If I'm there, he won't get it. And no, I do not consider Smackdown "B-team" material. Just Trivia Art and D-Mac. And, to be honest, me. It's just that I'm trying to get an A-team that I can tag along with and talk smack as they answer questions.

Couple of fun things going on this evening, both of which I highly recommend
-Die Actor Die at the Khyber. 8 p.m. I performed in it last month, and it was a heck of a lot of fun. Really funny show hosted by couple of guys from ComedySportz.

-I'll probably make it out to quizzo at Dark Horse tonight, if anyone is up for the challenge. I will crush you like an ant. 9 p.m.

-Oh by the way, if you missed the Mr. Belding/Tony Romo/Journey Don't Stop Believin' video, click here. I assure you this will be a question this week.

What famous French pilot was shot down behind German lines on April 18, 1915?

Alright, well we're kicking off the 2nd annual Great Philadelphia Pizza Hunt to find who has the best pie in town. Got a lot of new places to try out. If you wanna help me try out these spots or have one of your own you wanna go for, holla atcha boy. Listed below the break are some of the places I plan on trying. If you've got one that's not on the list that I need to try, just drop it in the comments.

On May 14th, quizzo players from Philadelphia will be competing with quizzo players from Denver and Seattle (and possibly DC). We will all ask the same 50 questions, using the same scoring method, and see who emerges victorious. We'll see what team takes the cake, and for bragging rights, what city's top 5 teams average the highest scores. I need to know where we should do this. Somewhere I can fit 75-100 people. Also, should I charge a small fee (maybe $5) and get a band? Drop your ideas below.

Bowling party. Coming soon. Details in the coming week.

Mayoral candidate Dwight Evans thinks so:
Dwight Evans held a press conference on Thursday, April 12th to announce his pledge to fully support Big Brothers/Big Sisters of Philadelphia and their mentor programs as a way to reduce violence in the city. As a show of his commitment to Big Brothers/Big Sisters, Dwight signed up to be a Big Brother for a young child in Philadelphia.
“I fundamentally believe that we can overcome this scourge of violence Philadelphia is suffering through right now,” Evans said. “Community involvement and personal commitment will be keys to ending the violence, and Big Brothers/Big Sisters is a model combination of both these elements."

I hosted a post wedding quizzo at the Dark Horse on Saturday night. (Congratulations Phil and Tessa!) The winners of the quizzo might be familiar to some of you old schoolers. They called themselves Holy Matrimony Batman, but you might recognize them as the former members of the Missing Heads. And they spoke of a possible reunion tour at the Black Sheep at some point in the future.

Who recorded an infamous version of Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds in 1968, considered by many to be the worst pop recording ever?

In what movie do Wyatt and Billy drop LSD in a New Orleans graveyard?

The Song "I Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In)" is a song about an acid trip. What Kenny Rogers fronted band recorded it?

What pitcher once pitched a no-hitter while high on LSD, which some people have called the most impressve feat in the history of sports?

Who was the head of the Merry Pranksters and the subject of a famous Tom Wolfe book?

At what school did Timothy Leary lecture from 1959-1963?

On April 16, 1943, Albert Hoffman discovered the effects of LSD. Therefore, this weeks questions will be about acid. One guess per person, and no cheating.

It was on this date in 1947 that Jackie Robinson took the field for the first time in the Major Leagues. He received a steady stream of death threats, and racial slurs were hurled at him constantly. Some of his teammates refused to talk to him, and opponents jeered him from the opposing dugout. And yet, in an environment that no athlete before or since has ever had to endure or will ever have to endure, Robinson excelled. He was named Rookie of the Year, and two years later he was named Baseball's Most Valuable Player. He destroyed the notion that blacks were inferior with his actions and behavior both on and off the field. He could have easily remained in the Negro Leagues and made good money and never had to bear such an enormous burden . But he was placed on earth for a higher purpose, and he more than fulfilled it. There are very few people who I truly consider my heroes. Jackie Robinson is one of them.
RELATED: A sportswriter on the field that day reminisces.

...in town today. Joe Girardi is announcing the Phillies game against the Astros.

Another thriller at O'Neals, as for the 2nd straight week, four teams finished within a question of a win. Dork Sided made their way to the top of the heap, edging the Young the Old and The Restless, 92-91. Philly Hardcore scored 90, and the Team to Beat in the NL East scored 88. The highlight of the show, of course, was my mom hosting round number two.

Another week, another win for the Kingdom, who cruised at the Bards on Tuesday. They blew out the field, knocking out Narcotizing Dysfunktion, 108-87.

No surprise at the Vous, either, as the Jams blasted past the competition to finish with 110 points and the win. 1022 finished 2nd with 102.

The River of Rocks proved that they can win regardless of venue, as the Rendezvous semi-regulars edged the Satan's Minions at the Black Sheep, 111-108. Both teams only missed 3 questions, but the Minions missed the double question about Anna Nicole and the Rocks got it (question to follow on toughest Qs of the week).

A major MAGMA choke at the Good Dog. After three rounds, it was all but rapped up. They had a 9 point lead over Swiss Misters Little Sister and a 12 point lead over 3 1/2 Armenians, starring Steve O., going into the final round. But the wheels came off (possibly distracted by the green sweater?) and they finished 3rd with an 82. 3 1/2 Armenians took the title with a 90-88 win over the Swiss Misters.

A near upset at the Bards that would have been one for the ages. Johnny Utah's Bulge in Stone Washed Jeans Resurrected Christ came one word away from defeating the Kingdom. But on the final question, "In the movie the Pink Panther, what was the Pink Panther?", they wrote "A Diamond Thief." Had they just wrote diamond, they would have walked away with an improbable come from behind victory. Instead Sofa escaped with a 102-99 win.

It's no secret how much we here at JGT headquarters love Journey. The two albums that you will find constantly on the office stereo are Enter the 36 Chambers by Wu and Escape by Journey. But there was still something missing when we listened to the Journey album. We thought to ourselves, "Sure, Don't Stop Believin' is a great freakin' song, but would it be even better if it was covered by Mr. Belding and Tony Romo? Alas, we'll never know." At least that's what we thought until we saw this (Unfortunately the language is not safe for work, but you have to see this when you go home. It will make your weekend.) Now, if we can just get Kotter and Ben Rothliesburger to perform Cash Rules Everything Around Me... (Thanks, Steve for sending this in.)

You all remember Willie Gee, right? The friend of mine from back home who had been fired from over 25 jobs, in easily one of the funniest things ever posted on this website. Well, with a resume like that, I had to hire him as a sports reporter for the website. And you'll be happy to note: Willie decided to go back to school, and is currently enrolled at VCU. This week he talks about the injustice of the PacMan Jones ruling by the NFL:
Tuesday, April 10, 2007 is a day that will forever live in infamy for the National Football League, at least in the eyes of its fans that still believe in a free society. This is due to the suspensions of Adam “Pac Man” Jones (1 year) and Chris Henry (8 games) for their alleged violations of the league’s new personal conduct policy which was recently implemented by commissioner Roger Goodell. This is a fascist policy that has underlying racial, cultural, and economic motives which transcend football and flow powerfully into society. It is one that perfectly exemplifies the perceived “White man’s burden.” The NFL is creating a system where they are attempting to police society with a paternal, father knows best approach that effectively reduces the league’s players (who are a majority black) to nothing more than chattel. See, the NFL’s governing bodies and the sports media which covers them seem to believe that the league’s young black players need a paternal white father figure to guide them through life. Moreover, under the new personal conduct policy in the NFL, there is no due process and the players are basically nothing more than million dollar slaves. Although all the talking heads in the media “applaud the commissioner on his new policy”, they seem to forget that the role of punishing individuals in our society belongs to the courts and to law enforcement. It is therefore up to them, and only them, to punish these players for conduct off the field.

Barry Melrose of ESPN ranks his favorite mullets of all time.

Here's my latest column in the Metro, this one about visiting the Liberty Bell with my parents.

Kurt Vonnegut died yesterday. The only book I read of his was Slaughterhouse Five. I was entranced by the book, but it got a little too kooky for me and I still haven't really come to grips with whether I liked it or not. Did you guys like his stuff?

Local RPS legend C. Urbanus, the leader of the Philadelphia scene, has dropped his press release concerning the upoming season. Of course, I am the defending champion of the city league. I have not announced whether or not I will be returning. I retired from competition after winning last years title and have not played since. Here's the 411:
The Philadelphia Rock Paper Scissors Championship Series Planning Committee is pleased to announce that the 2nd Annual Pabst Blue Ribbon Philadelphia Rock Paper Scissors City League Championship Series (PBRPRPSCLCS) will begin play on April 15, 2007. The PBRPRPSCLCS is looking to build upon the success of its’ inaugural season, in which over 700 competitors attended nightly events in the hope of becoming City League Champion, a title ultimately claimed by local celebrity Johnny Goodtimes. This event is fully endorsed by the World Rock Paper Scissors Society (http://www.worldrps.com/), recognized as the governing body of the sport throughout the world. The PBRPRPSCLCS is pleased to welcome back Pabst Blue Ribbon, who will be returning as the Title Sponsor.

Pabst Blue Ribbon has become a strong supporter of local and regional RPS action throughout the country, sponsoring local events in several markets. Pabst strongly believes in allowing RPS enthusiasts to coordinate their own events, and the 2007 PBRPRPSCLCS will be presided over by well-known U.S. player, referee, and organizer Mr. C. Urbanus.

Al Sharpton earlier demanded that Don Imus apologize for his idiotic statements, which Imus almost immediately did. Sharpton still is calling for his ouster. This is interesting because in 1987, Al Sharpton went to the media to let the world know that New York Assistant DA Steven Pagones had raped 15 year old Tawana Brawley. Not many accusations hurt worse than being accused of being a child molester. Of course, he wasn't. Tawana Brawley had made the story up, but the damage had been done. And Sharpton has never apologized to Steven Pagones.

How is it that this clown gets to tell the media which race stories are a big deal, and the media follows his every word like a puppy dog? It is pathetic, and I can't understand it, especially after they got burned the first time.

Well, my peeps began their journey home today. They're gonna stop in DC and see some cherry blossoms first. We tried to see some the other day at the Horticultural Center in Fairmount Park, but I think it's gonna be a couple more weeks before they are really spectacular here. Still, it was my first time to the Horticultural Center. Pretty kool, and I'll definitely return to see the Japanese House when it opens in May.

My mom hosted round two at O'Neals last night, much to her delight. It's pretty obvious which side of the family I get my showmanship (or, if you prefer, glory hog) tendencies from. Then we had the usual send off-a steak at Jim's. And my mom thinks Craig Laban is way off with his 2 bells for Fogo de Chao. She thinks it's the best restaurant she's ever been to.

Remember a couple of weeks ago when I said I really liked a local rapper named Reef the Lost Cauze? Well, he's got an interesting take on the Imus situation as well, one I think is a little more thought out than Snoop Dog's (though I think the "he looks like a racist" argument doesn't hold much water). I like this guy. I gotta see if I can score an interview with him.
RELATED: Reef the Lost Cauze on MySpace. He performs at the Troc on the 21st.

Ginger has decided to let men in the door, though only for one night to meet with the ladies of In Pursuit of Ale. Because she wants members of both sexes to enjoy the new Triumph Brewpub. Here's a short note from Ginger:
Come join me at our city's newest brewpub, Triumph. I am sure some of you have been to their New Hope and Princeton locations. They brew great beer and provide a pretty snazzy atmosphere and they have great food (I've tried almost the whole menu). They're even nice-They are giving us $3 drafts all night! So come on out. Ladies AND gents.
New bar, $3 drafts, hanging out with women who like beer. Hmmm, this sounds pretty good.
RELATED: Join IPA at MySpace

...apparently Snoop Dogg is outraged by Don Imus's comments. Let's read now, if we shall, some of Snoop Dogg's lyrics.
Can you control your ho? (You got a bitch that won’t do what you say)
You can’t control your ho? (She hardheaded, she just won’t obey)
Can you control your ho? (You’ve got to know what to do, and what to say)
You’ve got to put that bitch in her place, even if it’s slapping her in her face.
Ya got to control your ho. Can you control your hoe?This is what you forced me to do, I really didn’t want to put hands on you, but bitch you playin’ with fire.

And, to be honest, those are some of his tamer lyrics on the topic of bitches and hos. Oh, and keep in mind that MTV had a cartoon last year that featured Snoop leading leashed women on all fours. Seriously Snoop, when the topic is humiliating women, you might not wanna try to get all self-righteous. It's like Robert Mugabe putting down Kim Jong Il for being a bad leader.

Working on The Final Days by Woodward and Bernstein. I like it a lot better than All the Presidents Men, b/c it's not as complicated. Reading that book felt like I was taking a freaking algebra exam. "If this guy is connected to this guy, then this other guy must be x." This book is more about Nixon, Haig, and Kissinger, and how they dealt with the fact that Nixon was going down. You guys read anything good lately?

...they get rid of the only player who hit with runners in scoring position last year. Of course, that's not a problem this year, as they are betting well over .140 with runners in scoring position.

With the Phillies all but mathematically eliminated from this year's playoffs with perhaps the worst bullpen in the history of baseball, one has to wonder, "Why don't we still have the A's, dammit? Why did Oakland get the good Philly baseball team and we got a team that is 39 losses away from becoming the 2nd team in sports history to lose 10,000 games? (The first team, the Washington Generals, lost to the Globetrotters every single day for 30 years.) After all, the Philadelphia A's won 5 World Series in 50 years while the Phillies have won 1 in 123. And I bet the A's have never had as bad of a bullpen as we do this year. Well, here's the story from the Philadelphia Athletics Historical Society.
Lack of sufficient funds, absence of a full minor league system, the age of Connie Mack and the growing popularity of the Phillies in 1950 all contributed to empty seats at Shibe Park (re-named Connie Mack Stadium officially in 1953) Eventually, sons Roy and Earl Mack would buy controlling shares of the club from remaining Shibe family members and their half brother, Connie Mack Jr. To do so, they assumed a large mortgage. The debt load, coupled with the unfortunate decision to sell the concessions ( a major income source ) led to the sale of the club in 1954 to Arnold Johnson who moved the team to Kansas City despite several local efforts to buy the club which were not accepted by the American League.

Screw you, Arnold Johnson! Screw you!
There's more info on how the team moved after the jump

It's that time again, people! Last year we reviewed 25 different pizza joints in the area, and had a blast doing so. So let's do it again. But before we get started, I need to know where to go. I'm gonna go back to my top three from last year (Tony's, Tacconelli's, and Mama Palma's) to see if they are still up to snuff, but I need more spots. Please post below where we should go for pie. And it doesn't just have to be downtown. The suburbs, Trenton, Camden, anything nearby will work. In fact, I recently read that a small town near Scranton calls itself the pizza capital of the world. Seriously. So there will definitely be a road trip involved here. Gonna kick it off tonight with my folks at Tony's. Please post any below that you know that I should try. Oh, and if you wanna grab a slice and help me grade 'em, just shoot me an email. Let's get it on!

What was Playboy Magazine originally going to be called, until an outdoor magazine with a similar name called them and told them it would sue?

I had an interesting week of eats. Most recently I tried out that new pizza place at 10th and federal again, called Slice. Both previous times led to a bit of regret. But since it was pouring yesterday and I was working from home, the concept of delivery was all too enticing. Their San Romano Tomato sauce has this "olivey" aftertaste which doesn't agree with me. Their BBQ chicken pizza had potential. But when I hear the word Barbecue, I get excited. I love bbq pulled pork, bbq wings, I even ate Bbq'd lamb during a Mummer's picnic this year. Slice's "bbq" was a mere drizzling. Slightly lackluster. And the crust was spongy but not in a good way.

That was lunch. Dinner was pulled pork at the Good Dog. When I am not organizing beer club, you can find me most Wednesdays there. They feature all their cans for half off (sly fox is $1.50.) I may have mentioned this before. I get very excited about $1.50 beer because I am losing about one wallet per month on average.

Once I get a little financial cushion and have sweet dreams of finally getting a new computer that doesn't operate off of Linux, I lose my wallet. This time was in utter sobriety at 12 noon.

Went out to eat quite a bit over the weekend. My full breakdown: The Yellow Bar on Grey's Ferry, which just opened on Friday, has a really good crab quesadilla, but I'm not sure I really like the space all that much. And I'm not crazy about the way they colored the walls. It looks like wallpaper in a grandma's house. But it's worth checking out.

Saturday, got dinner at the Hibachi Grill. Rather disappointing. The place is weird. You walk into the lobby, which consists of a table covered with an aqua tablecloth. That's it. That's your first impression of the place. Just a room with a tablecloth. Then you sit and wait in a room that has bird cages, which are always depressing. Then, my chef was impressive with his tricks, but never said a word the entire time. Seemed like he was going through the motions. It was still kind of fun, but I wanted a goofier chef who puts on a show.

Finally, my mom and dad came into town yesterday, and we went to eat at Continental (Original). Definitely the best place I went to this weekend. The drinks were delicious and so was the food. The Lobster spring rolls and Shrimp curry were off the chain, as was the red pepper dip. And, unlike Continental Midtown and Pod, the music wasn't so loud that you couldn't talk. I'm gonna take 'em to Fogo de Chao for lunch either today or tomorrow.

Don't know if you saw their tit for tat this past weekend, but it was pretty entertaining. And Geraldo gets a good diss in on Lou Dobbs while he's at it..

This Italian city, not far from Pompeii, is said to be the home of pizza, and was where the Margherita Pizza was born.

The first pizzeria in the United States was this one, opened in 1905 in Little Italy, Manhattan. It is not named after the coach.

This Midwest chain, which opened in 1967 by the man it's named after, is credited with inventing St. Louis style pizza.

The deep dish pizza was invented in 1943 at this Chicago pizzeria.

At what Philly pizza spot, which JGT deemed one of his favorites last year, do you have to order your dough a day in advance?

What two toppings will you find on a slice of Hawaiian pizza (which, incidentally, isn't really that popular in Hawaii)?

Alright, I'm gonna post pics of this weeks winners. This week's questions will be posted under the pics. The topic this week is pizza, in honor of the 2nd Annual JGT Pizza Hunt, which kicks off on Monday. One guess per person, and no cheating.

Today is the 43rd birthday of one of my favorite rappers of all time, the Diabolical Biz Markie. Though best known for the song "Just a Friend" on the album The Biz Never Sleeps, it was his debut album (Goin' Off)that I consider his masterpiece. With songs such as "Vapors', "Make the Music", and "Pickin' Bugars", this album cracks my top 10 hip-hop albums of all time. I saw the Biz in Philly a few years ago, and he tore it up, though now he spends more time on the turntables than he does rapping.

We begin on Tuesday at O'Neals, which was the site of a thriller, as four teams finished within a question of the lead. The Young the Old and the Restless held off Badger Tsunami in the end, 99-97. Philly Hardcore finished with 96, and Dork Sided with 94.

Things were a little tight at the Bards as well, as the Sofa Kingdom erased a 7 point deficit going into the final round to edge Narkotizing Dysfunktion, 100-95. The Western Omelette finished 3rd with 92.

No close calls at the Vous on Wednesday, as a Jams team at full strength blew away the competition with an impressive 111. 1022 finished 2nd with 101.

An old favorite pulled off the win at the Black Sheep, as the WTF defeated Trying is the First Step Towards Failure, 97-90. They did so despite only playing with two players, the Big Bopper and Eisenstein. It was a huge win for this team, which won it's first JGT quizzo match way back in 2003. The Satan's Minions went down hard in the "1997: The Year in Music" Round and finsihed with an 85.

Bounty time at the Good Dog on Thursday. The Axis of Evil Knieval came before 7 p.m., and couldn't sit down because the place was already packed. But the Sofa Kingdom made it on time and edged MAGMA, 93-92, to take home the gift certificate and the extra $20.

Good thing for them that Axis wasn't allowed in the door. Taking out their frustration at the Bards, the Evil Knievals put on a clinic, knocking off Speak Up Johnny 110-104. The Western Omelette finished 3rd with 92.

Am I the only one who thinks it's a little more than coincidence that the Phillies unbelievably miserable opening week performance occurred right before the unveiling of "The Curse of William Penn" at the Philadelphia Film Festival, a movie about how miserable Philly sports teams make their fans? Yeah, I had a feeling that Hollywood liberals were behind the 0-3 start.

Local bars are touting that tommorrow is the anniversary of Prohibition ending, though I think I'm missing something. I thought Roosevelt ended it on March 23. Can somebody fill me in on what I'm missing here?

Anyways, the War on Alcohol seemed to be about as effective as our current War on Drugs. So the question needs to be raised: should we end the Prohibition on illegal narcotics? Sadly, even mentioning this idea is political suicide, and the simple political answer is just to lock up anybody and everybody, despite it's remarkable ineffectiveness. (And yes, you may freely post your ideas on this topic w/o me getting snippy.)
RELATED: Joe Sixpack discusses Prohibition in Philadelphia. This is fascinating stuff. Best line in the article? In 1931, A's fans famously booed President Herbert Hoover during a World Series game at Shibe Park, disrupting the game with their chant of "We want beer!"

I posted some questions about hoaxes this week. Here's another one, a chess playing gadget called the Turk . I didn't exactly break my back finding this (it's currently on the front page of wikipedia), but it's pretty interesting.

Geez Louise. Only in Philadelphia do you try to do good for the community one minute and then have to answer for it the next. There is apparently a misconception here. Some people seem to think that Big Brothers Big Sisters in Philly is a babysitting service for kids on the Main Line.

"It would seem that the moral here is that if you don't do drugs...and don't hang out with violent or criminally inclined people...your chances of getting murdered...are fairly small." -ee
I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that you grew up in a place where there weren't drug dealers on the corner closest to your home. When the majority of the people in your neighborhood do or deal drugs and are violent, it's a lot easier said than done than to get a young child or teen to "Just Say No."
"Like the compelling idea of big brothers, but those kids aren't shooting anybody." -Anonymous
Again, I don't think you understand what kids we are trying to help here. Most of these children are at-risk. Part of the point of Big Brothers Big Sisters is to make these kids realize that their problems can't be solved by shooting somebody. I assure you that there are a lot of children on the BBBS waiting list whose current male "role models" tell them that the way to settle their disputes is by grabbing a gun, or that the only way out of the ghetto is by dealing drugs.
All that seems to matter now is the naked corruption of guys like Fumo---how many street cops would that PECO settlement he got for his fraudulent foundation have paid for? I tend to look at this from a macro view Johnny....I think that is where we need to do things to make a real difference...spending a few hours a week with kids who must live in an environment that makes heroes of criminals is smoothing over the tip of the iceberg. -Jon
It's hard enough to recruit people to this cause w/o having someone telling them that their efforts will just be "smoothing over the tip of the iceberg." The macro view is terrific, Jon. Why don't you make us some bar graphs so we can understand the problem better? And 1,000 more officers would be great too. Could you make that a reality for us?

Joining Big Brothers Big Sisters won't change the world for everybody. But it will dramatically change the world of the child you are paired with, for the better. It will lessen the chances they fight in school, and will lower the chances they do drugs. It will build their self confidence and make them want to get better grades. It will make them think twice about joining a gang or picking up a gun. If that's the tip of the iceberg, well then, dammit, let's smooth it over.

This past week, the 100th person was murdered in the city of Philadelphia in 2007. Numerous writers made note of the "milestone". But it seemed that most of them did what I think a lot of people are doing with this problem: find someone to blame. Several writers claimed that using the term "Killadelphia" would wake people up at City Hall, as if we could turn this thing around if the Mayor just came up with a committee of people in suits and ties sitting around a table. I'm not completely belittling their efforts, because I think that it's important that we keep the heat on City Hall to come up with ideas to deal with the problem. But there is only one group of people in Philadelphia who can really make an impact on the murder rate, and that is the citizenry. As long as we lob grenades at easy targets, nothing will get accomplished. If you want to lower the murder rate in Philadelphia, then it's up to YOU to do it. Not Mayor Street, not Sylvester Johnson, not the local media. YOU. You have the power to make a MAJOR IMPACT on the future of this city. Now do it.
MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

MAGMA has been unstoppable since the Axis of Evil Knieval slipped away from the Good Dog. And their recent success has so emboldened them that Chris R. has even started hosting quizzo at Dirty Frank's. That's right, he thinks he can replace the immortal Irish John. Obviously, they need to be stopped, if not for my own good, then for humanity's. So I'm putting up $20 in cash for any team that can knock them off tonight, in addition to the $30 you would take home for winning.

Here's the latest in the Goodtimes Files. A couple of notes: First of all, I thought that it was the Sinatra Foutain. I asked the guy who had put the fountain there why they put a Sinatra fountain in Philly. He said, "It's not a Sinatra Fountain. The songs are from the 40s, but they're not Sinatra." Thankfully, he didn't add, "Way to do your homework, Bernstein."

Also, when I arrived at the fountain, there was a stunningly beautiful young lady there with her mom. "Sweet!" I thought. "This writing gig is finally gonna pay off!" I asked them about the fountain, and the girl said, "We are from Poland. We don't speak English." That's like the 10th girl this week that has told me that she didn't speak English when I tried to put the moves on. There must be a convention in town or something.

Anyone who thinks that the Phils won't miss the wild card by a goddamm game again this year is kidding themselves. The season is over. And yes, we will look back on opening week and say, "Dagburnit, maybe we'd be in the playoffs if Shane Victorino had listened that day in f****** T-ball practice when the rest of us learned that we don't f****** steal 3rd with a 2 run lead, 1 out and a left handed hitter at the plate. ESPECIALLY WHEN THAT HITTER IS RYAN F****** HOWARD!!!" Nope, apparently Victorino swallowed a ladybug or something and missed practice that day.

Well, I've got enough problems with anxiety that I don't need this horses*** team to me any more riled up. The Phillies are dead to me. Good riddance. I'm going to get a new hobby. Like breakdancing or doing the dishes. I don't need this b******* for the next 6 months. I don't need it.

P.S. Don't even get me started on the goddamm bullpen.

-Best of luck Oli! Black Sheep regular Oliver (above, middle, looking like Dice Raw) is going, going, back, back, to Cali, Cali. Why? Because Cali's got gunplay, models on the runway.

-What would happen if someone with Tourette's woke up with a giant M & M beside their bed? (DUE TO FOUL LANGUAGE, THIS COULD NOT BE LESS SAFE FOR WORK UNLESS IT INVOLVED FARM ANIMALS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!)

-Are we at the high end of a housing bubble? You should ride the US Home Prices Roller Coaster to find out.

-The top 10 worst internet acquisitions ever. A reminder of how crazy the internet bubble was.

-This is incredible. Afer a little research, I found out the dude did it on purpose:
After Machuga clinched the title match with two strikes in the 10th frame, he surprised everyone by doing his famous “Machuga Flop”, hanging onto the ball and flinging himself down the lane. Since he never let go of the ball, there was no official rules violation, so Machuga followed that by striking on his final shot.

Just wanted to wish a happy birthday to former Phil Scott Rolen! Although things didn't really work...

{...uh, wait a second, what?... Reaaaaaally! It's like that, huh? But there's no reason to point blame at just one pers...oh, really? So I should just keep my mouth shut and go with the flow? But aren't these things a two way str...no? So it was entirely his fault and there can be no discussion? Or you will physically beat me? Gotcha.}

...so where was I? Oh yeah, so f*** Scott Rolen.

What small city was both the jumping off point for the Pony Express, which began on April 3, 1860; and was where Jesse James was killed on April 3, 1882?

-Good news, gang. Driving Zamboni's while intoxicated is not against the law, at least not in New Jersey. What's everybody up to this weekend?

-However, you can be fired if you work at a rink and you decide to drive the Zamboni to Burger King.

-Should Canadians send a Zamboni to the moon to rearrange moon dust?

Well, the Florida win propelled Eric (above, middle) past Smackdown and into the title at the 3rd Annual JGT Bracket Spectacular, brought to you by the good people at Barristers Bar and Grille. I actually watched the game there last night with Smackdown (below) and Trivia Art, as well as Brett the Barber from the Omelette. I thought I could make my move on Smackdown when the Ohio State loss was inevitable. However, when I asked her if she needed a shoulder to cry on, she said, "Thanks, JGT, but I've already got a couple. Get in line." Then she left. So I thought that went well.

So congrats to Eric, who gets the $250, courtesy of Barristers Bar and Grille (1823 Sansom). And congrats to Chill Rob A, who finished 2nd. I'll see if I can scrummage up a 2nd place prize. To show you what a predictable, boring tourney this was, one guy picked the favorite in every single game...and finished 3rd. Hey NCAA, might wanna throw a few Cinderellas into the mix and make things interesting next year. I hate to say it, but this years tourney was the most boring one ever.

Oh, in case you're wondering, I finished 64th out of 75 teams. That's because of a computer glitch in the system made it look like I made some really bad picks. If it wasn't for that computer glitch, I probably would have finished in the top 10. Probably. We'll never really know.
RELATED: Final standings of Barristers Bracket Challenge.

Alright, peeps, I'm heading out to CB Park for Opening Day. Sweet! Here's a few great baseball quotes to commemorate the occasion:

People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring. ~Rogers Hornsby

When I began playing the game, baseball was about as gentlemanly as a kick in the crotch. ~Ty Cobb

Did you know that the movie the Natural was based on a Philadelphia Phillie player? Phils first baseman Eddie Waitkus was shot by a crazed stalker in 1949, then came back in 1950 to help lead the Phillies to the World Series.

It's Smackdown vs. Buckeye Eric in the finals of the Barristers Bracket Challenge. If Ohio State wins, Smackdown pulls off the improbable win. If Florida wins, Eric, an Ohio State alum, will win $250 by betting against the old alma mater. As for the Greg Oden movie poster above, I wish I could claim credit, but that was Trivia Art's handiwork.

This Italian immigrant made millions in a scheme that defrauded tens of thousands of people out of millions of dollars. A similar scheme I bought into in college costed me $75.

One of the most famous hoaxes ever was of a 10 foot petrified giant, "found" in the ground in New York. People came from all over America to get a glimpse. When he was unable to buy it, PT Barnum made a wax copy and claimed that his was real.

This lady appeared to have won the 1980 Boston Marathon, and was awarded the first place medal, until it was discovered that she had only run the last mile.

In 1996, this company took out an ad in the New York Times claiming that it had bought the Liberty Bell and was renaming it. People were furious.

What writing legend gave us the improbable story of Sidd Finch, the Buddhist monk with the 168 mile per hour fastball?

In the War of the Worlds, which sent people into a panic when it was broadcast by Orson Welles in 1938, what state do the aliens attack?

Alright, you know the deal. I'll post questions, you post answers. No looking them up. One guess per person. Seeing that this is April Fools Day, the questions this week are about hoaxes and fakes.