March 2007 Archives

I gotta admit, I was kind of proud of this one. Have a great weekend, gang!

1. This man, who shared the same last name as wrestlings Krusher, became Premier of the Soviet Union on March 27, 1958.

***10. This wrestler was, no surpise, a big Superman fan. His girlfriend, Miss Elizabeth, died under mysterious circumstances at his house in 2003.

Last week saw upsets galore, but this was not to be the week of the Cinderella. We start at O'Neals, where the Young, the Old and the Restless resumed their winning ways with an 84-76 win over Shake and Bake. No surprise at the Bards, either, as the Sofa Kingdom held off the newly reformed Western Omelette, 99-86. The Kingdom was perfect through three, but missed three in the final round. The Omelette was one of quizzoes most vaunted franchises in 2004 and 2005.

At the Rendezous, the Jams came back after their rare loss last week to cruise past 1022, 102-85. Meanwhile, in a cruel twist of fate, Trust Us We Know, a week after pulling off the upset with an incredible score of 114, finished in last with a measly 61. The River of Rocks, who usually give the Jams a run for their money, could only muster up 75 points.

Another week, another winner at Black Sheep, which seems to have the most parity of any of the bars. Viggo the Carpathian was perfect through three, and in the end held off the Satan's Minions, 109-95. The Crotch Angels finished third. Duane's World continued a recent slump, finishing with a 72. Rumors of a major shake-up have everyone on the team a little rattled.

With the Axis of Evil KNieval pulling a disappearing act the past few months, MAGMA is having a hard time finding fierce competition at the Good Dog. They cruised to a 98-84 win over the DaVinci Choad. It marked the 5th straght time they've won with JGT hosting. There are rumors of a bounty next week.

FInally, we end with a little deja vu all over again. The Sofa Kingdom only missed two questions to skate to a 113-104 win over the Western Omelette.

I'm gonna post the whole wrestling round in a little while, but here are the toughest questions of the week:
1. Who are the only two men to ever be nominated for oscars for acting, directing, writing and producing all in the same year?

6. Sheila Burnford is best known for this 1961 childrens book she wrote about animals named Luath, Bodger, and Tao. It was later made into a film.

Click below for answers!!!

Here's a link to the column I did in yesterday's Metro about the strange science museum on Temple's campus, the one that hasn't changed in 150 years.

Hey, anybody always dreamed of announcing a sporting event, saying with an extremely deep voice, "Jackson checking in for Watkins"? If so, contact me. I need an announcer for my teams little league game tonight. It'll be fun, I promise.

That's right, McDonald's was looking to class up the joint a little, so who did they call up? Starbucks of course! They are combining to form a super restaurant, and one of their first combos is in Bristol. Finally, two crappy entities join forces to make one supercrappy entity!!! I haven't been this excited since Styx and Night Ranger combined to make Damn Yankees.

Lebron James, who is less man than product, tried to take a pot shot at Stephon Marbury, who endorses a $15 shoe so that underprivileged kids can have an NBA sponsored shoe. But Marbury owned his sorry ass. This from Newsday:
Before the game, James took a little shot at Marbury's $14.98 kicks, saying he couldn't imagine endorsing a sneaker that cheap. "No, I don't think so," James said. "Me being with Nike, we hold our standards high."

Marbury, who is friendly with James, was lacing up his Starburys before the game when informed of LeBron's comment. He thought about it for a moment and said, "I'd rather own than be owned."

Oh snap!!! Yeah, you and Nike hold your standards high, don't you Lebron? In fact, I hear that you guys pay your sweatshop workers a whole quarter an hour so they maintain those high standards.

Oh, and go ahead and guess which shoes were on the feet of the guy who hit the winning three pointer with 8.5 seconds left? Give you a hint, it wasn't the guy who is owned.
RELATED: More fallout from Lebron's comments.

One of the highlights of 2006 was, for me, the pizza hunt. In the end, we discovered that Tony's and Tacconelli's were the best, with Mama Palma's a close third. So it's about that time we try to find a best of again. Should we retry pizza? I mean, there are still hundreds I haven't tried, and we could try the best ones again and see if they still hold up. Or we could do something new. Best bar no-one knows about? Best brunch? Best coffee shop? What do you guys think? Let me know if we should go pizza again. I mean, I'm cool with it. It's cheap, fun and delicious. Do you have any other great ideas of things we should go hunting for together? If so, post them below.

Unbelievable news, everybody. American Gladiators is returning to the air! ESPN Classic is going to start showing reruns every weeknight at 7 p.m. And they're kicking it off with aGladiators marathon on Saturday. That's right, a chance to see people like you and I (except with mullets) trying to knock Nitro off of a tower with a joust, and avoid a gun shooting tennis balls at them at 100 mph. This was the original reality show, if you ask me. Here's a sweet powerball match in which Gemini and Billy Wirth get in a little dustup. And here's some more info on the show itself. I am so fired up right now, I think I might climb into my atlasphere and roll around town.

Pretty good beatdown of modern news by the guys at jib-jab.

-A woman in Maryland claims that her dog saved her by performing the heimlich. NBC10 actually covered this liars bulls***. Hey NBC10, last night my cat Malia (above left) jumped in front of a bullet that was headed for my heart and caught it in her mouth. Then she put the shooter in the figure four leglock until the police arrived. You should do a story on that! Also, I like how there is a link at the bottom of this story that says, "How to Perform Heimlich Maneuver." Which is silly, because most dogs can't even read English.

-Hopefully Ann Coulter decides to take a summer jaunt to Surf CIty, NJ, this summer AND EXPLODES.

-My main man Denny Blaze (The Average Homeboy) finished 3rd on VH1's Top 40 Greatest Internet Superstars!

-Was Eddie Griffin's car crash a publicity stunt?

In what can only be defined as 'typical", a person I am currently trying to be angry at is leading the Barristers Bracket Challenge. Smackdown (above), a sworn enemy of mine, is in the lead with 109. Now, I may have to be nice to her, just so I can get a free burger at Barristers if she wins the $250. But it all depends on the final four. If Ohio State beats Florida for the national championship, she wins. If Georgetown beats Florida, then I Hate MAGMA wins. If UCLA beats G-Town, then Representing the MAAC wins. If Ohio State beats UCLA, then I'm Jam and Y'all Toast wins. And if a crazed yeti attacks and kills the 70 people currently ahead of me, I will crowned champion. So it's really up in the air. Anyways, Smackdown (if that is your real name), I am hereby calling a truce. And if you win, I would like two burgers and 15 Yuenglings. Deal?
RELATED: The current standings of the Barristers Bracket Challenge

I haven't really talked a lot about politics lately. I haven't needed to, because I could do a post about kittens and within minutes Palestra Jon and EE would be in a heated debate about whether or not kittens support the War in Iraq. But a few things came up this past month that are hard to ignore.

-Rush Limbaugh says that John Edwards made the announcement that his wife has cancer to try to jump start his campaign. Probably in a similar way that Rush uses Oxycontin to jump start his brain.

-Well, at least the leaders of right wing thought aren't using terms like "faggot" to a room full of appreciative conservatives. Oh wait, never mind. Which raises the questions, "How much longer before Skeletor (above,with prominent adam's apple) uses a hateful derogatory slur to describe Obama, and will conservatives applaud that as well?"

-Tom Delay says that anybody that thinks that liberals who think he is guilty of the campaign improprieties he was indicted for are akin to Hitler. Which upsets me. I always thought I was more of an Idi Amin type.

RELATED: Johnny hopes Ann Coulter is hit by bus.
RELATED: Johnny hopes Ann Coulter is eaten by wolves.
RELATED: Johnny hopes Ann Coulter is hit by train.
RELATED: Tom Delay hit by meteor.

What state was hit by the strongest recorded earthquake in American history, a 9.2 on the Richter scale?

The box score above, apparently the offical one posted on Yahoo sports last night, was sent in by alert reader Lee. Notice why NBA veteran Robert Horry didn't play.

In this weeks very special episode, Ginger heads north and lives the good life! -ed.

As I sat at a bar called D.B.A and listened to Carole King sing of "the sweet-tasting good life way over yonder," I smiled knowing that I didn't have to go in search of it. I found it this weekend in the tapestry of New York City.

Everytime I go to New York, I try to switch it up. Last summer I spend my city time in Brooklyn and Queens (actually attended an event called the JJQ...where two birthday boys, Jay and Jay cook different amount of meats corresponding to however many years they turned), over Thanksgiving it was wherever my sister and her friends wanted to live out their Sex in the City dreams--enter meat packing district, enter $15 captain and cokes (yet another reason to drink beer!)

During this particular jaunt, beer was the focus, I went in pursuit of ale throughout New York City's best beer bars.
I headed up with Lance Romance in a snazzy limousine bus courtesy of Tom Peter's, owner of Monks. We had a caravan headed northward-- some of the Monks and Fergie's bartenders, as well as prolific beer writer Michael Jackson. (Meeting him is the equivalent of getting a baseball signed by Hank Aaron).

The cover story in the this months Philly Mag is about Ryan Howard, which isn't really journalism but hero worship. But the story that really stuck in my craw is one about two high school basketball players. Decent enough story, but it ends with a couple of the lamest sentences I have ever read:
"It's a happy story, Scoop and Rick's. And such a Philly story. It's just like Rocky, where the good guys win in the end." (The italics are the magazine's, not mine).

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! OK, this so bad I don't know where to begin. A) the schmaltzy "such a Philly story" line is almost unbearable to read B) Can we get through ONE F****** Issue without referencing Rocky? He was a fine reference in 1977, but it's now 2007, and we're over it. You don't hear our friends out in western PA saying, "It's just like in The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh, where the good guys win in the end." C) If you are going to reference Rocky, uh, I suggest watching Rocky. He doesn't win in the end! Apollo Creed wins in the end.

If there is a single reference to freaking Rocky in next month's issue, I will cancel my subscription. That's right, Philly Mag, $12 a year-POOF-gone just like that. No more freaking Rocky! Please! We are over it!!!

This Swedish hockey player, who has one of my favorite names ever, played for the Whalers, the Penguins, the Rangers, the Red Wings and the Flyers. He was considered one of the NHL's most hated players, and ended Cam Neely's career with a nasty hit.

In 1976, Billboard Magazine named her the female entertainer of the century. In the 60s, she performed in a group with Mary Wilson and Florence Ballard. Who is she?

This is a great trivia question: This birthday boy, who turns 76 today, directed Three Men and a Baby, though he's more famous for acting he did in the 60s.

This general, who would be 93 today, was repeatedly quoted as saying, "It's not that we lost the war militarily. The fact is we as a nation did not make good our commitment to the South Vietnamese."

Among this writer's plays were The Night of the Iguana and the Rose Tattoo.

This poet (and birthday boy) read a poem he titled "The Gift Outright" at John F. Kennedy's inauguration.

Lots of famous people celebrating a b-day today. I'm gonna post a pic of last weeks winners and then a trivia question about someone with a b-day today. No looking it up and one guess per person. If you wanna see how things went down last week and see if you could answer last week's toughest questions, click here.

-Wow, sports television actually gets it right for once. Unbearable windbag and ego-maniac Joe Theismann just got kicked to the curb on Monday nights and was replaced with Ron Jaworski, an analyst that actually knows that his job is to discuss football, not to talk about how wonderful he is. Jaws in, jackass out.

-Have you seen the end of the Division II basketball championship? A team called Winona, the defending champs, were up 7 with 45 seconds to play. Winona had won 45 games in a row. The end of this is absolutely unbelievable. Click here if you haven't seen it yet.

-It's still not as incredible as this.

Alright, Wrestlemania is coming this sunday. So in honor of that I'm gonna be posting a bunch of old school rasslin' stuff all week. Let's start today with two legends of the sport. Here's a good short video about The American Dream Dusty Rhodes and my idol, the Nature Boy Ric Flair, the greatest wrestler ever, and the showman I have always aspired to be. I've said it before and I'll say it again: the Ric Flair autobiography that came out a couple of years ago is the best book in the English language since "The Great Gatsby". You can love it, or you can hate, but learn to love it, 'cause it's the best thing goin'. Woooooooooo!
FLAIR IN THE NEWS: Florida coach gets Ric Flair to pump up Gators before Butler game.
RELATED: More info on Flair.

We start on Monday, when Chip and I made our (mildy) glorious comeback at the Khyber. We move to Tuesday, where the Young, the Old and the Restless got knocked off by Smart Teammate (with Steve O. on the drums), 92-89. Move to the Bards, where we saw another upset. The Narcotyzing Dysfunktion knocked off the Kingdom, 106-100.

Upset week continued at a packed Vous on Wednesday as Trust Us We Know aced the final round to knock of the Jams, 114-109. It was their first win that I can recall since last April. The Jams only missed one question in the final round (Tikal was an important ceremonial center of what civilization? The answer: Mayans.), but still couldn't pull off the win.

A new team won at the Black Sheep as well. Not Good Enough for the Grown Up Table was plenty good enough, blowing out the Satan's MInions, 112-94. Duane's World had a devastating off week, coming in next to last with a 73. Also on Wednesday, we talked about hipster fights.

Things returned to normal on Thursday, as MAGMA cruised at Good Dog and The Sofa Kingdom won big at the Bards. Both teams dedicated their wins to Pat Robertson (above) , since it was his birthday. MAGMA defeated Heather Mills Prosthetic Leg, 94-78, while the Kingdom blew by the Hurtin' Bombs, 94-85.

Can you answer the six toughest questions of the week? Click below to find out.

Y'all remember Average Homeboy Denny Blaze, right (above, with JGT)? The rap superstar I went all the way to Cleveland to score a totally sweet interview with? Well, he's gonna be on VH-1 Tonight as part of their show, "Top 40 Greatest Internet Super Stars". Show starts at 8 p.m.

College B-ball isn't the only thing going on at Barrister's this weekend. The Man in Black, the best Johnny Cash Tribute band ever, is playing on 1823 Sansom Street Saturday night, and tix are only $3. Final 8 hoops and Johnny Cash? That sounds like a damn good night.

Happy B-Days to a couple of Philadelphia sports legends, Ron Jaworski and Moses Malone. Also celebrating a birthday today is Prince Felix Yussupov, the man who killed Rasputin. As some of you may know, I am a huge Rasputin fan, and not just because he had an enormous wang. I highly suggest the book, "The Man Who Killed Rasputin." Quick quiz question: What do Moses Malone and Doug Flutie have in common? (answer below)

Salutations! I am off to Nueva York for the Ultimate Belgian Tasting followed by barhopping in Brooklyn then sleeping swankily in this hotel called "Dream" which has been described as "Whimsically Chic." This is all very exciting--right down to my limo escort. I am moving on up Jeffersons style. I will share deets on my experience upon my return!

I keep hearing about this guy, Reef the Lost Cause, but I never really listened to him until this morning. This is damn impressive. It's called the Sound of Philadelphia. It's a touching yet frustrated tribute to the city of Brotherly Love. You'll dig it. (NSFW)
Related: Reef the Lost Cause on Myspace.

Blanket forts are kool. (No, I did not post this on craigslist.)

-Happy 77th birthday Pat Robertson! Keep up the good work! You're a great American! I hope you're never hit by a train! That would be a tragedy! My favorite Pat Robertson quote? "Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It's no different. It is the same thing. It is happening all over again." Pat's really smart! Here's some more fun Pat quotes!

-Well, here we are, less than two weeks from opening day, and our #1 pitcher just went down with an injury. Fortunately, we have six starters, so Lieber can step back in. We're going to be just fine. Right? Right!?!? Riiiight?!?!?! Oh, God, no...We're ruined!!! (cue hysterical sobbing.)

-I don't usually agree with Lou Dobbs, but he nailed this one: Both sides are acting like idiots in this Gonzales situation.

-If you are or your friends have plenty of plutonium, but no nuclear device with which to make your dreams come true, just start hanging out at local construction sites. You'll find what you need.

-Vote in the new poll on the right side of the page.

Here's my latest column in the Metro. Wanna thank everybody at O'Neals and Bards who helped me write it. I also wanna say, "You're welcome," to Trivia Art, Steve O., and everyone else who is quite pleased that I was able to get Chuck Fusina into a column.

-Here's a fun Mental Floss quiz about how famous people died. I only scored a 5. Weak. (Thanks Todd for sending this in. If you see any cool stuff on the web that you think I should post, just send it to me at johnny@johnnygoodtimes.com.)

-Penthouse is opening a Lounge and Grille in Philadelphia (Word on the street is that Vanessa Williams is gonna be head chef). Are they gonna have strippers? They say no, but Foobooz isn't so sure.

-Tired of searching the web but never winning any K-Fed prizes for doing so? Well, it's time for you to start playing with fire. (Thanks Duff for sending this in.)

-Digging for treasure at the Philadelphia Presidential Mansion. And here's the best part: Dennis Reidenbach, superintendent of Independence National Historical Park, said the park also plans to have a web-camera trained on the dig so Internet users can monitor the progress. Finally, the ultimate in video entertainment, live shoveling!

The trouble started when Joey Sweeney of Philebrity fame was featured in a Infiniti G "special advertising section". He was then blasted in the Philadelphia Weekly for "Jumping the Shark". Of course, Sweeney fired back. This is fun! I feel inspired! Hey, whattya guys say we go to a crappy ass concert of some band that is ironically cool and play hipster bingo. Who's with me?

Woody Harrelson's father Charles died in prison on March 15, where he was serving two life sentences for killing a judge. It was while I was talking with a huckster/conspiracy theorist named Sherman last year at Dealey Plaza that I first heard that Harrelson's father claimed to be involved in the JFK assassination (If you have not already read this interview, I HIGHLY recommend it.) Then I came upon this in Wikipedia:
Harrelson has declared that he was involved in John F. Kennedy's assassination. Some think he was one of the three tramps photographed after being arrested on November 22, 1963 in a boxcar in the railyard near Dealey Plaza. Harrelson's arresting officer, Marvin L. Wise, claims that the three men in his custody were released after a few hours of questioning. The other arresting officer, David V. Harkness, testified that there were several individuals removed from the train that day other than the three individuals in the photograph. Dallas Police Department documents presented to the public in 1992 indicate that three transients arrested by Dallas officer W.E. Chambers with no connection to the assassination were jailed for six days for vagrancy, and that one of those men was named John Gedney. There is no proof that Harrelson had any connection with the assassination.

Here's some more info, including the photograph of the tramps. Also, vote in the new poll (to the right).

What president-elect did Giuseppe Zangara attempt to assassinate?

-Is the stock market evil? Pretty interesting op-ed piece.

-Totally awesome news: Hall and Oates are going to be playing at Philly's 4th of July party. This has made my dreams come true!!!

-Damn I love that Baby Boy Da Prince jawn.

An in-depth investigation by Sports Illustrated writers turned up something so shocking, so unexpected that you have to read it to believe it. There are apparently, get this, STEROIDS IN WRESTLING!!! I knoooooow!!!! Unbelievable. Next up, this modern day Woodward and Bernstein is going to go undercover to see if there are any steroids in World's Strongest Man Competitions. Hey guys, you should also do some in-depth coverage of strip clubs. I have a sneaking suspicion, call it a hunch, that you might turn up some nose candy.

The Die Actor Die show at the Khyber last night was awesome. Not a huge crowd (about 20), but they were tight and host Don Montrey and his friends from ComedySportz put on a great show. Pat Barker is one of the funniest young comedians in Philly (his piece about Atlantic City was brilliant), and Chip did a character named Donovan McNabb who was completely out of his mind. Hell, even my set went well. Don then brought Steve Perry up on stage to discuss one of his old videos. Great stuff. He's gonna do a show again next month, and I highly recommend it. Wanna give a mad shout out to the members of Sofa Kingdom who came out to support the cause.

Hey peeps, I'm gonna be doing some stand up at the Khyber (I'm not going to post an address. If you don't know where the Khyber is, you just can't come) tonight as part of their Die Actor Die show at 8:30 p.m.. It's supposed to be a really fun gig. It's where old Wheel of Terrific hosts go when their Mondays run dry (Yeah, Chip's on the show as well, but we're doing stand up, not the Wheel). Tix are $5 cheap, and a bunch of other comics, musicians, and sketch troupes are on the show as well. And no whining about paying to see a show when PBRs and Miller Lite's are a dollar. That's right, a buck. Ya Heard!!!
RELATED: Die Actor Die on Myspace.

What band did Dylan join in 1988?

What highly praised 1966 album, believed to be the first rock double album ever released, contained the songs Rainy Day Women #12 and #35, I Want You, Just Like a Woman, Visions of Johanna, and Leopard Skin Pill-Box Hat?

Bob Dylan wrote "Mr. Tambourine Man", but it was a hit for this band before it was a hit for him.

What crappy band was Dylan's son Jakob a member of?

Dylan grew up in a town called Hibbing, Minnesota, as did what NBA Hall of Famer? (Hint: he played his college ball at U U of Minnesota.)

What name was Bob Dylan born with?

Gonna post pics of last weeks winners with a little Dylan trivia. Why? B/c it was on this date, 45 years ago, that he released his first album. Post your answers in the comments section below the question. If you wanna know how things went down last week, and see if you know the answers to last weeks toughest questions, click here.

Someone named Adrihoo is in the lead of the Barristers Bracket Challenge, having picked 40 of 48 games correctly. I should be winning, but a computer malfunction caused some of my great picks to be changed to really stupid picks. Again, this was due to a computer bug of some sort. I'm having that worked on right now. In terms of people I recognize, Smackdown, Chris R. of MAGMA, and Chill Rob A's wife are all tied for 5th.

After the first round of the NCAA tourney, we have three teams tied for the lead. I'm Jam and Y'all Toast, Adrihoo, and Mrs. Aaron Gray all have 28. I am lurking in the shadows, quietly waiting for my turn to pounce with 21. Chill Rob A's wife who, if I remember correctly, didn't know what the little numbers meant beside the teams (seedings), is tied for 2nd with 27.

In honor of Duke losing I have to post this, the funniest music video ever posted on YouTube. Seriously. Warning: This is not safe for work. (My buddy Mark pointed me to this on Withleather.com) Oh, and I picked Winthrop. I am a genius. My prognostication powers are ungodly. Ladies love me, girls adore me, I mean even the ones who never saw me.

Word on the street is that John Edwards swung by Barristers last night to watch the Duke-VCU game, and he and his entourage were cheering loudly when VCU hit that last second shot to win. A presidential candidate openly cheering against Duke? That is a guy I will go to the wall with. If he needs any volunteers for his campaign in Philly, tell him to look me up.

Alright, so I'm gonna write about the early games as they happen. LIVE!!! Holy cow, the future is here. (Btw, I totally stole this idea from D-Mac, but there is nothing he can do to stop me.) Here goes:

12:41: Why is our game Georgia Tech vs. UNLV? In 1990, this would have been an AWESOME game, but now I really don't care. I wanna see North Texas, who is beating Memphis 17-11. I did wanna see UVA, but that game is a blowout, 33-14.

12:45: Do you ever notice that this is the pre-eminent sports tournament of the year, and the stands are always completely empty for the first round games? Can someone explain that to me?

12:50: I'm glad that they've got the 2nd whitest black man* in America in the studio, Greg Gumbel. I think he has the all-time record for most hours spent in front of a television camera without ever once saying something interesting or informative. I've gone to the NCAA on Demand feature on Cbssportsline.com to watch North Texas and Memphis. It's like watching a game on Youtube, but this Tech-UNLV game sucks.
*Bryant Gumbel is number one. Michael Jackson recently slipped to third.

12:53: Bill Raftery just said, his voice progressively rising, "His derriere has the presence, the power, the prowess to take it to the tin." Bill Raftery, by the way, is my favorite announcer in all of sports. I'm not kidding. I love that guy. HE KICKS BILLY PACKERS SORRY ASS!!!!!

12:58: I wish Bill Raftery was my grandfather.

1:03: I wish Billy Packer was Dimeo's grandfather.

1:04: I bet Billy Packer eats at Applebee's all the time.

Flew back in on Sunday, then went and played quizzo at Dark Horse on Monday and suffered a painful defeat. Finally got back into the swing of things on Tuesday at O'Neals, where the Young, the Old and the Restless shredded the competition, scoring 100 while the Number of Hula Chicks I Lei'd Last Week Is 74, finishing 2nd.

Can you answer the 5 toughest questions of the week? Read on.

Duke in the Elite 8? They screw me even when they lose. What was I thinking? I hate myself. Oh yeah, and George Washington in the Sweet 16? Brilliant call, Goodtimes. Too bad they lost by 33 points. Our leaders after Day 1 are Indiana all the Way and Hoop Dreams, who both picked 15 out of 16 correctly.

Yo peeps. I'm gonna give a running commentary of the NCAA tourney tommorrow for the early games. Hope you'll tune in. Oh, and glad that the NCAA decided to snub Mid majors like Drexel and Appalachian State so that deserving teams like Stanford could get in. They really put up an impressive fight in falling behind by 30 in the first half to Louisville.

-Is it just me, or has Angelina Jolie gone from hottest woman in America to least attractive other than Tori Spelling in like two years? She looks like an alien with a broken jaw.

-Beware the Ides of March.

-Just because I stare longingly at George Bretts crotch doesn't make me gay.

-Saturday is officially Hall and Oates Day in Philly. What? I can't go for that, No, I-I-I-I-I-I, I can't go. I can't go for that.

-Jessica Simpson wants a baby. Which is kind of a coincidence, b/c I kind of want her to have my baby. What the hell, Jessica, let's go for it!

Here's the link to my article in this week's Metro about getting fired.

Here's the highlight reel following that epic 1987 game between Indiana and Syracuse. I'll never forget that game, with Steve Alford and Keith Smart vs. Rony Seikaly and Sherman Douglas. Give it a minute to start after the Hoosiers cut down the net. As for my favorite NCAA moment, I dunno, it might have been when Bo Kimble shot those left handed free throws and Loyola Marymount went on that improbably run to the FInal 8. I hate Laettner (who should have been kicked out of that game), and I have no love for NC State either, so I don't really care about that one. Another game I remember was the West Virginia-Wake Forest game from a couple of years ago. That's one of the best I've ever seen. And that Kentucky game where that guys three pointer hung on the rim for like 5 seconds. Any tourney memories you have?
RELATED: Less than 24 hours to get your brackets done and try to win $250!!!

-Sylvester Stallone gets busted for 48 vials of HGH. I can't understand why people are upset about this. I mean, ROCKY DOESN'T REALLY EXIST. He's a movie character. Who cares if he's using HGH? It's not cheating. I don't think Clubber Lang is like, "Bulls***! I would have killed that guy if he wasn't cheating!"

-Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott just had a baby. The baby is expected to look like Nancy Grace and be remarkably devoid of talent.

-Al Gore takes some heat in the scientific community for his global warming film. I still can't understand the backlash against it. I mean, what if we take precautionary measures, and, uh, pollute the air a lot less? Who's really against that?

-The Israeli ambassador to El Salvador has been removed: El Salvador police found Raphael in the yard of his residence, tied up, gagged with a ball and drunk, Israeli media reported. El Salvador sounds fun.

Yeah, so last night I put together a fairly impressive team and set off for the Dark Horse to put Palestra Jon in his place. The team consisted of me, D-Mac, Smackdown, Trivia Art, and our buddy Jacques. Yep, three bloggers on the same team. The epitome of kool (with a K). Our team name was "We Mugged the 101 Year Old Lady". We had attitude. We jokered Round One and got it perfect. After a so-so round two, we took the lead in the Speed Round by handing our paper in first. So we had a lead going into the final round. Then we crashed and burned. On two questions we really ate a sandwich. Both entirely my fault. For "What are the two longest running plays in Broadway history", I thought Cats and Phantom of the Opera were too easy, so I went with Cats and Mousetrap. Then, on who is the oldest Hall of Fame baseball player still alive, I wrote down Yogi Berra, even though Jacques tried to convince me it was Phil Rizzuto. It was Phil Rizzuto. We lost by two to Palestra Jon's team and finished 2nd. I'm still pissed. Damnit!

Two more days, people. Two more days. But a quick complaint. What does everyone remember about last year's final four? George Mason's improbable run. I remember a ton of people saying right after that that the mid-majors were going to start getting the respect they deserve. Well, last year the mid-majors got 8 at large bids, this year they got six. They got less a year after one of them went all the way to the Final Four!!! Apparently the NCAA wants to lessen the chances of another Cinderella story. Uh, isn't that what makes this whole tourney so great
RELATED: Win $250 in the JGT Barristers Bracket Challenge!!! It's free to enter, and winner walks with $125 cash and $125 in gift certificates. No tricks, no gimmicks. Just sign up and win!

Hey peeps. Gonna be playing quizzo tonight at the Dark Horse (Headhouse Square) in case anyone wants to challenge me. You should probably stay home. You're gonna lose. It starts at 9 p.m. (no, not like me. Actually at 9 p.m.)

It's the best time of the year to be a sports fan. By far the best playoff system in all of sports (with the possible exception of the sheer genius that is the BCS), the NCAA tournament will mean that I will spend four days this week, starting Thursday, on a barstool in front of a television for 12 hours each day. Try to stop me. Anyways, enough bluster, let's make some picks. Here's how it works. Click here, then enter the group ID #: 85004 and the password: goodtimes. Then make your picks. If you don't already have a yahoo account, you have to create one. (Yeah, it sucks but it only takes a minute.) Don't worry if you don't know anything about basketball! The person who wins these things is always someone who picks the teams according to their jersey colors. Whoever gets the most points is gonna walk away with $125 in gift certificates to Barristers and $125 in cash. Barristers (1823 Sansom) has the Tourney Ticket, and will thus be showing every single tournament game. There will also be great beer and food specials I will tell you about soon.

Yo, I'm in the City Paper this week. In case you need to learn more about this amazing product, just click here.

What team, a 3 seed in this years tourney, won the first ever NCAA tournament in 1939?

Well, I left Hawaii at 12:30 a.m. and spent the whole day flying, arriving in Philly at 5:45 p.m. I was totally cursed on the airplane, as one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen sat in the seat directly in front of mine. I spent the whole flight angry, thinking about how much better the flight would be if I had been assigned one row away from where I was. Damn! Anyways, I've got a couple more stories to tell at some point, and we're gonna start the Barristers Bracket Challenge soon as well. Wanna thank Jam Master Sean and Dark Horse John for doing such a great job while I was gone. And speaking of great jobs, I thought Ern totally kicked ass on the website. He's earned himself a weekly column on the site, if he wants it.

Oh, and no mas Wheel of Terrific at the Troc. El finito. So I am gonna straight chill tonight and do some cleaning, then get ready to return to action manana. Word.

Hey gang, just posted a bunch of new photos, including one of my dork burn.

Johnny Goodtimes' world headquarters spared in G-Ho Blaze.
The Johnny Goodtimes World Headquarters has been spared as favorable winds prevented JGTHQ from going up in the three-alarm blaze that saw several homes opposite his abode heavily damaged.
Video of the blaze

Here's the link to today's scandalous article. Chelsea/Heather is the girl in the white shirt (above).

- The Republican President sends the troops to war.
- After the War there's an Insurrection so the Repubican President sends additional troops to the embattled area.
- For the first time since before the start of the war the Democrats regain control of the House.
The war was the Civil War; The Insurrection was in Mississippi; and the Presidents were Lincoln and Grant.
For Political purposes, a Deal (AKA Bipartisanship) was made. The troops were withdrawn; Reconstruction ended; And Generations of Jim Crow began....

Glad I found this article three days before I fly back to Philly:
Authorities called in the bomb squad early Tuesday and diverted a flight to Las Vegas after Los Angeles International Airport security screeners found hidden wires and other objects in a body cavity of a Philadelphia-bound passenger.

Yeah, so this guy, who just so happens to be from Iraq, attempts to get on a plane with wires, a rock,and bubble gum shoved up his bum. Oh, and previously this guy "was arrested on suspicion of possession of a destructive device". Hmmmm, wonder what he's up to:
A preliminary investigation appeared to rule out a theory that Al-Maliki may have been looking for weaknesses in security or was rehearsing for a terrorist act.

WHAT?!?!?!?!?! Who conducted this preliminary investigation, Barney Fife? This dude from a country we are currently at war with and who has a track record with explosive devices tries to get on a plane with bubble gum and wires in his ass and we seem to think that it was something other than preparation for a terrorist attack? Hey gang, here's a quick thought: I, who have no previous police experience, can tell you with 100% F******CERTAINTY THAT THIS NUT WAS PREPARING FOR A F****** TERRORIST ATTACK!!!! As if flying didn't make me nervous enough. Damn.

Gonna go cruising up to the northwest corner of the island, known as the Kohala Coast. I'll probably hit Hapuna Beach for an hour or so before that. Spent all day yesterday working on questions and writing my scandalous column for the Metro, which is going to forever sully my reputation as a innocent little angel. It's kind of like when NKOTB came out with the Hangin' Tough album. Things are good. Have a toothache, but other than that, I'm holding up pretty well. Tommorrow I'm gonna hit the other side of the island with my buddy Mark. He and I grabbed dinner a few nights ago at Teshima's, a great Japanese restaurant that opened in 1940. The lady who opened it, known affectionately as Mama Teshima, is over 95 years old and still works there. She also has a ridiculously cute great-grandaughter who works there as well. I'll be back. Oh, and the picture above is of a gecko eating syrup at a restaurant called the Coffee Shack (click on it to blow it up. It's a pretty wild picture.)

Despite the nasty weather out there Baseball will be starting 3 weeks from Monday. Every year I make my predictions and every year I'm more right than wrong. (Did anyone outside of Detroit pick Detroit?) Anyway, these are my predictions for the play-off bound teams for the 2007 season. Some of these are based on past performance; some on future expectations; and some on wishful thinking. Feel free to name your picks.
National League: East - Mets; Central - Cubs; West - Dodgers; Wild Card - Phils
American League: East - Yanks; Central - White Sox; West - Angels; Wild Card - A's

World Series - Cubs over Yanks (I told you there was some wishful thinking)

Hey, I got off to sort of a late start today due to a fairly wild and borderline scandalous night last night. Details forthcoming, possibly in the Metro. Anyways, so there is no question of the week this week. I know, I know. I'm a slacker. You'll be OK. Anyways, I got to get these friggin questions done, so I'll holler at you later. And speaking of the Metro, here is the article I did last week, in case you didn't get a chance to read Thursday's paper. Oh, and I hear it's really cold in Philly, so in an effort to warm you guys up, I posted a photo above of a beach I was at a few days ago called Kauna'oa, out in front of the Mauna Kea Resort.

Last night I saw "Zodiac" and last week "The Departed" won Best Picture. I thought both films were O.K. but long. So I decided to put a list together of my All-Time Top 10 Favorite Gangster/Crime Films. It was tough. There are a lot of good films that didn't make it. If your favorites didn't make it feel free to let us know what they were. For one reason or another there were films I didn't see. Next time someone goes to the video store and nothing new catches their eye they might check out these movies. My Favorite 10 in order of release: 1. 1938 - "Angels With Dirty Faces" 2. 1941 - "The Maltese Falcon" 3. 1949 - "White Heat" 4. 1971 - "The French Connection" 5. 1972 - "The Godfather" 6. 1974 - "The Godfather 2" 7. 1990 - "Goodfellas" 8. 1992 - "Reservoir Dogs" 9. 1995 - "The Usual Suspects" and 10. 1997 - "LA Confidential" For Foreign Language Movie Lovers rhere's "City Of God" 2003.

Spent yesterday at Kua Bay, where I went from being "the whitest person in Hawai'i" to the "person in Hawai'i with the dorkiest sunburn". Yep, missed a couple of spots on my chest, so that there are now splotches of pink following no observable pattern against a strikingly white background. I think I'll stay off the beach today. Just gonna go cruising around, I think. Been taking it pretty mellow. There's not a whole lot of nightlife here, so I have most of my fun during the day. Hung out with some old work friends last night. It was extremely mellow. They're all married now, so the party broke up around nine o' clock. Looks like I'm the only one who's not growing older (or is it not growing up?)
LOTS MORE PHOTOS!!!

Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny will be showing tonight at the Trocadero. I'll be back next week for Scarface, which is gonna kick a lot of ass, then we've got Spaceballs the week after that. Word.

This is a disgrace!
TAXES - You go outside to smoke. You go inside to drink. Back and fourth. Less Smoking! Less Drinking! Less Taxes! Coupled with the fact people are going to the suburbs to drink and Delaware to buy smokes they're getting even less taxes. But they'll spin it and say less taxes means less smokers.
HEALTH - Some politically correct 'scientific' studies have been done showing the harm of second-hand smoke...but effects don't kick in for about 150 years so they're irrelevant
What is a fact is creating a climate where citizens inform on other citizens is TOTALITARIANISM!
So the only 'reason' for a Smoking Ban is ... They want you to be as miserable as them.

My buddy Mark (above, in red shirt) and I became friends 1999, shortly after he opened his used bookshop in Kainaliu (Island Books). So I went to visit him the day after I arrived, and we just sat out in front of his store and "talked story" for hours. He's the type of guy that every used book store owner should be; well read on anything and everything, and yet completely at ease socially. And, of course, unabashedy liberal, with a reasoned argument behind every one of his beliefs. So we went cruising yesterday, and decided to hit up an old road side store shortly after leaving his shop. The owner of the store was a Japanese man named Charlie (below) in his 80s.

His store was a remarkable hodgepodge of completely worthless items: old brooms, garden hoses with mold growing on them, reel to reel tape, a VHS tape about baseball card collecting that was, according to the price tag, $24.95. Vaguely threatening handwritten signs were hung around the store: "You like, you buy. You no like, you no buy. Just kiss off!" Another read, "This is heavenly place where they came to destroy. They'll be cursed slowly but surely." He said that, other than snacks, he stopped taking inventory when the US stopped producing goods. Charlie owned the store but not the land, and I quickly came to the conclusion that he was keeping the store open more to talk story and fend off loneliness than to make money. Or perhaps he kept it open out of a sense of duty. His father had opened that very same store in 1919, and his family had been in charge ever since. He had never been married and never had children, so that when he left, the store went with him. Considering the cherry locale, it was not hard to imagine a million dollar home being erected soon after he passes.

Charlie's course of discussion was every bit the delightful melange as his store was. He went on about his father, about his monthly bills, about watching the White Sox during his brief life as a drifter in Chicago in the 1950s, about putting out a fire at the old auto mechanic's store across the street, all within about two minutes time. We could have stayed all day, but after a couple of hours, we decided to press on.
UPDATE: More Photos!

Hey peeps, got some good pics and stories coming soon, including my first encounter with a wahine. Here's a quick tease: it didn't go well.

Due to all the sincere but misguided people out there I'll do this one more and last time. Global Warming is not Science! To the Politicians it's power. To Scientists and Lawyers it's money. To the Drive-By Media it's Ideology To it's followers it's Blind Faith and to it's detractors it's Pure Hokum. But it's only "Science" in a politically correct cover story kind of way. If it was an 'indisputable fact' I wouldn't be disputing it and there'd be no need for a 'concensus'. ("Anybody here can prove Global Warming is a fraud? You can? O.K. let's take a vote") What are indisputable facts are the bigger the crisis, the bigger the Grants. And the bigger the Grants the better the Life Style. Which brings up two things. 1. The advocates for Global Warming are Very Subjective and 2. If only 60% are getting on this gravy train it must be real bogus. You can question the unwilliness of the 40% who disagree for not speaking out (my guess is pressure from above; they're getting a piece of the action too) but not their intergrity. In conclusion: 6 out of 10 Scientists choose Global Warming has all the validity of 50 years ago when 4 out of 5 Doctors chose a certain Brand of cigarettes. In a word: NONE!

Have a nice weekend, All my Friends!

Heading out the door, but before I go, I thought I'd leave you with this.

The latest scam to come down the pike is a thing called "Global Warming". It has three objectives: 1. To make you feel guilty about enjoying life. 2. To steal more money from you and 3. To get people who can't run their own lives trying to run yours. They've tried this scam before. They called it "Nuclear Winter"; or "Overpopulation"; or "Acid Rain"; or "The Ozone Layer"; and even, believe it or not, "Global Cooling". But the M.O. has always been the same: cook up some bogus figures; get the Drive-By Media involved; lay a guilt trip on people; and lie, lie, lie. It failed in the past because they only gave the end of the world blues a 5 or 10 year window. When nothing happened (of course) they started looking like that cartoon of a guy in a toga with a long beard carrying a sign that says "Repent" on one side and "The End Of The World Is Near" on the other. Now they're saying, what!,100 years, 200, something like that? Now that I agree with. 100 or 200 years from now everyone reading this post will be dead. But the Earth will still be here and so will Mankind. So the next time someone mentions "Global Warming" to you just laugh. Just because they like being miserable don't mean you can't enjoy life.