February 2007 Archives

Just waking up. It's a few minutes after 9 a.m. here. Not feeling real great, unfortunately. My throat is a little sore. Yesterday was kind of a work day. Got some breakfast at an amazing place called the Aloha Cafe, and ate out in an open air lanai. Then the highlight of the whole trip, coming up with questions for quizzo. After that, I had to get to work on my column for the Metro. Went into town to get some interviews about the new Hooters that opened downtown, officially killing any vestiges of soul this city still had. But it's hard to do a really deep story in less than 400 words, and what I started to write was too cynical, so I sort scrapped it. Maybe I'll post the cynical one on this site a little later. Was at a surf spot called the Banyans when I got the sunset photo above. It's beautiful out today, so I'm gonna finally hit the beach. Aloha!

This morning on KYW there was a poll that said if the election were held today McCain would beat Clinton or Obama. And that Guiliani would win even more handily. I thought how can that be? The Drive-By Media is the propaganda wing of the Democrat Party! They spin the questions till they get the results they want! Ex: They ask if candidate A was a junkie would you vote for him? But they say 98% won't vote for candidate A! So I looked at the local Propaganda leaflet aka the Inquirer to see what the percentages were AND IT WASN'T IN THERE! So if they can't distort the polls to get the results they want they bury it. Of course if the poll was in favor of the Democrat Party it would be on the front page. Why people continue to be hoodwinked by these propagandists is beyond me but hopefully this will help enlighten them.

Ever since Andy Reid said Quit with 1:59 left in the season I'm been dreading more and more this coming season. From personal problems off the field to personnel decisions in the Front Office. this team seems to be heading in the wrong direction at full steam ahead. We have a Quaterback who's one good hit away permanent retirement (or worse); a second-string Quarterback who did a good job for us years ago but that was with a better team; and a third-string quarterback whose main claim to fame is he can hadle a snap better than Tony Romo. Now I know a lot of people on this website know more about Football than me. Is it as bad as I think it is? I'm thinking a 6-10; or 7-9 record. Help me out here! Cheer me up!
It has come to my attention Andy Reid said Punt; not Quit. But to paraphrase my old friend Bill Shakespeare, Quit by any other name is still giving up.

My first day in the islands was pretty mellow. Went into downtown Kona and walked around, which was a pretty extreme feeling. I will give you my feelings for what has happened to the town in the years since I've been gone at some point in the near future, but for now I'll just tell you that I had breakfast at a place called Durty Jake's, where my ex-girlfrend used to work. That was pretty intense. I used to eat there all the time when she worked there (not so much to see her as it was that I got 50% off.) So that was a pretty intense trip. I thought about her a lot on the first day. I mean, we've been broken up for 4 years and I'm over it, but at the place and the time when I lived here, she was a vital part of my life. And I've got a memory for every place downtown, and most are connected to her.

You know that feeling you got when you went away to college and you retured home for the first time, and it was no longer your town or your school? I kind of got that feeling too. I mean, we were young and tan and beatiful dolphin trainers, so we felt like we were freaking rock stars. Now I just feel like a tourist. I don't want to give you the impression that I'm sad or bummed out. I am absolutely thrilled to see the sights, hear the sounds, and most of all, smell the smells (something you never hear anyone say when they visit Philly.) I understand that time passes and that's all part the process, but there is a certain bittersweetness, I suppose. But most of all there is excitement to see some of the incredible things that I had almost forgotten existed.

Oh, and I went ahead and upgraded the rental. I am totally kicking ass in a 2007 Mustang convertible. I rule!

Yo peeps, I ain't gonna spend my whole friggin vacation working on questions, so everybody can only play once a week. Maybe. I gotta talk to Dark Horse John, and if he wants to use his old questions and do the joker round and such, then you can play again on thursday. I'll keep you updated. Anyways, there is quizzo tonight at O'Neals and the Bards hosted by Jam Master Sean. Somebody knock off the Young, the Old and Restless!

Martin Scorcese's first feature length film was titled "Who's That Knocking at My Door". This was also the first starring role for what now popular actor?

The Presidential election is too far off to start predicting who will be the Nominees. Right now it would be McCain and Clinton but we have a long way to go. Closer to home and closer in time is the Mayor's race AKA the Democratic Primary. Whoever wins this in May wins that in November. So, who do you think it will be? Who do you think it should be? Without comment (I don't want to influence anybody) here are the nominees*: 1. Bob Brady 2. Darrell Evans 3. Chaka Fattah 4. Tom Knox 5. Michael Nutter
* At this time Milton Street is not eligible; For purposes of this post write-ins are allowed!

In case you were wondering who posted that write up about the Oscars yesterday, that was Darth Ern. Trivia Art tells me that he stormed Mission Control only hours after I departed, and has been at the controls ever since. Due to the fact that I am over 5,000 miles away, I am helpless to stop his maniacal website takeover. I have contacted the proper authorities, and they are looking into this obvious breach of national security.

Hey gang. Got in at 8:00 p.m. last night. Staying with my friends Justin and Stephanie in a beautiful house that overlooks the ocean (above), though it is up mauka (on the mountain, makai is towards the ocean). I worked with both of them when I was a dolphin trainer at Dolphin Quest. It's so strange how you see people you haven't seen in over 6 years, yet after the first few minutes, it feels like you never left. However, a lot has changed. The development down in Kona is out of control, and I don't know a single person currently working at the place we all used to work. Saddest of all, Kona is getting ready to open a Hooters, a sure sign that a place is headed downhill.

Got a great nights sleep, then woke up at 7 a.m. this morning. Think I'll be fine with the jet lag. Gonna take it easy today. Gonna go down to town and walk around, then probably head to Captain Cook, a nearby town where a friend of mine owns a used book store. Possibly some beach today, but I'm not sure.

As everyone knows, after Wink Martindale, Johnny has the weakest mind of all game show hosts. Using an old Jedi trick I learned in 1st grade I had him reveal the secrets of his website. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!
I stopped watching the Oscars after Bob Hope retired but I did read the orchestra cut Al Gore off. Once a windbag always a windbag. Anybody have any comments on the show (Good! Bad! So-So) let us know.
As for the winners...Best Picture: I saw about 25 movies better than "The Departed" this year. Overllong, a pointless love interest, and too much business with those cell phones. Good acting, though. My pick - "United 93"
Best Actor/Actress - I agree with Whitaker and Mirren. Three interesting things - 1. For the FIRST time in history NONE of the Beat Actor nominees were nominated for ANY of the Best Picture nominees. 2. Peter O'Toole is the most nominated non-winner for acting (8).. At 31 Kate Winslet is the youngest 5 time acting nominee in history.
Best Supporting Actor/Actress - I didn't see "Dreamgirls" I don't do Musicals! I liked Arkin but did he win because of his performance? His career? Or voters changed their ballot after seeing "Norbit"? Whatever, Murphy was the only favorite who didn't win. My picks - Jackie Earle Haley - "Little Children"; Rinko Kikuchi - "Babel" Two depressing but well-acted movies.
The rest: I didn't see the Best Foreign Language winner or the Best Documentary winner. My picks - "Apocalypto" and "The Heart Of The Game"
What do YOU think? Agree? Disagree? If YOU disagree who do YOU thinks should have won? Feel free to embellish!

It's 11:34 a.m. here at the Los Angeles Airport (I have no idea what the "X" means in LAX. Maybe they used to have a deal with the XFL or perhaps the airport stands on the former grounds of a sacred porn theatre). That means that it's 2:34 p.m. in Philly. Or possibly 8:34 a.m. That's one of those things that I have to think long and hard about each and every time the thought comes into my head, and I never feel entirely comfortable with my deduction. I mean, time zones are stupid. Just ask the Chinese, who invented friggin math! They said the hell with it and now their enormous country has only one time zone. So that for some Chinese people, breakfast is served at 6 p.m. Maybe. I only slept for an hour last night, so I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around this concept. I fact, I wish I'd never brought it up

I just ate a Wolfgang Puck pizza and followed it up with a crumb cake that was topped with chocalate chip cookie dough. Yes, I'm serious. I'm sure I'm gonna look great in a bathing suit tommorrow. The seat I'm in at this crappy cafe like area overlooks the runway. It's incredible how man's most remarkable triumph over nature is so incredibly ugly. Nothing but steel and cement and giant trash bins and windowless vans and grey trucks with the words "Lavatory Services" written on the side. The people on the tarmac all wear neon orange or yellow vests. If some sci-fi writer had written Tron 100 years ago, I think he would have predicted it turning out sort of like a modern day airport.

There is a couple at the table next to me who look to be in their late 60s, perhaps. It's not even noon, and they are both sucking down a Bud Light. God Bless America. I'm gonna go get a stiff drink and then sleep on the gate floor.

The Sofa Kingdom answered all 40 questions correctly at the Bards on Thursday, but were unable to name 5 of Hawaii's 10 largest cities (they got 3 of the cities, worth 2 points apiece), and finished with a 115. The Hurtin' Bombs scored a 104 to finish 2nd.

It was a week of blowouts, as the Kingdom's 1 point win at the Bards on Tuesday was the only single digit victory of the week. MAGMA had no trouble at the Dawg, crushing Dr. Pepper, 95-76. It was MAGMA's third straight win.

The Minions cruised past the WTF, 102-85, at the Black Sheep on Wednesday night to become the first team with back to back wins at the Sheep in 2007, and only the 2nd team to do it since September (Duane's World did it in December). The Crotch Angels finished 3rd and Duane's World Came in 4th.

The Jams (aka Britney Spears is Trying Hare Krishna) won for the 4th time in 5 weeks at the Vous. They racked up an impressive 110 and cruised to a 110-94 over 1022, who rallied in the 4th to pass Trust Us We Know for the silver.

The Sofa Kingdom pulled off a win at the Bards on Tuesday, narrowly edging Narcotizing Dysfunktion, 101-100. They decided to celebrate with Mind Erasers. Johnny celebrated a late season Phillies win last year with two of these gentlemen by drinking a few Mind Erasers. He did not get out of bed until 3 p.m. the next day. He has agreed to drink another ME only if and when the Phillies win the pennant this year.

The Young the Old and the Restless cruised at O'Neals on Tuesday, and Johnny was able to keep his $25. The only big name team to make it out was the Axis of Evil Knieval. But they were no match for the juggernaut that is the YOR, who walked away with a 95-76 win.

Alright, I'm leaving Sunday for two weeks. While I'm gone, Jam Master Sean will take over on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, and Dark Horse John will take over on Thursdays. I am hoping to blog from Hawaii while I am there. Depends on whether I can find a cafe with wireless internet. If not, I'll probably get Trivia "Foobooz" Art to help me out. We have beefed up security at Command Central, so any would-be renegades who want to take over this operation while I am out of town, be warned: resistance to my power will be futile.

As for my plan, well, I don't really have one. Staying with a buddy of mine near Kona for a while, then I'll probably get a hotel room for a few nights. Plan to fly to Oahu for a day or two and see some friends there. Am hoping to see the dolphins I used to help train, but nobody I used to work with is still employed there, so we'll see. I do think I'm gonna go out on a boat looking for humpback whales, as it is humpback whale season, and my best buddy out there tags them for a living. Will spend a day on the other side of the island at Volcanoes National Park. Will spend another day doing drugs and snorkeling at Kealekekua. Haha! Just kidding. I won't be doing any snorkeling. Other than that, just gonna lay on the beach all day and eat mahi mahi and drink mai tais every night. Hell yeah!

We have encountered a few minor glitches in the system the past few days which have us worried. Why? Because the quizzo grapevine is rife with rumors of a website takeover when I leave the state and am helpless to stop it. I probably have nothing to worry about. I mean, who could be so sinister as to take over a simple blog like this? Nope, probably just unnecessary anxiety on my part. In fact, just forget that I ever posted this. I'm quite sure things will run swimmingly here on the website when I'm gone.

I'm flying to Hawaii on Sunday, and as you might imagine, that is a brutally long flight. I doubt I'll be able to pull a Ralph Fiennes, so I need some good reading materials for that full day in the sky. Anybody got any good suggestions for sky fare?

She is shaving her head and checking in and out of rehab on a daily basis, then trying to get into her ex-husbands house to take back her children. She's crashing the parties of complete strangers. She apparently has picked up such a vicious drug habit that rumor has it that she shaved her head to avoid drug testing. The next thing we know she'll be riding in a white Bronco with Al Cowlings. Question is, "Is this the worst meltdown in celebrity history?" I mean, that one dude from Milli Vanilli turned a life of drugs after they got exposed, but they weren't early as big as Britney. Mariah had a meltdown that was fun, but not nearly this awe-inspiring in scope. Of course, there was Terrell Owens, uh, every times he leaves his house. But nothing like this that I can think of. Anybody got any other good meltdowns they can think of that even compare to this one?
RELATED: MSN's top 10 celebrity meltdowns.

Hey, if you can't get your hands on an actual paper, here's my column in the Metro today. Its about Harry Fini, who's been cutting hair since the Great Depression.

This week, Philly's official beer lass recovers from her illness and lists her top 10 beers.
Good News folks...My illness is in the check-out line. Very exciting... For a couple reasons...we can get back to my city slickin' but more importantly you don't have to read about the ever-growing tissue tower adjacent to my bed.

I know there was talk of whooping cough and avian flu, but I was eventually diagnosed with an Upper Respiratory Tract Infection. Two weeks! The hardest part of it all was I lost sense of taste and couldn't indulge in my preferred potable. So now that I am back on the bar stool- I thought it would be a good idea to post my favorites for your viewing and hopefully drinking enjoyment
And in no specific order....

Aw snap. Jelly Roll (I hate J-Roll and all of those first letter of first name, first four letters of last names combos. They're played out. But Jelly Roll is fun.) is on fire, and Phillies-Mets could honestly become a great rivalry this year. First Rollins said that we're the team to beat. David Wright of the Mets got offended. Jimmy fired back:
After he took part in the team's first full-squad workout, he reiterated those feelings and dismissed Wright's concerns.

"If you're afraid, then I don't want you on this team, anyway."

I think Jelly Roll may be my new man crush. Now come on, Gillick. Get us a reliever for Lieber and it is ON!
Fun Fact: Last year, Rollins and Utley became the first pair of middle infielders in National League history to each hit more than 25 home runs in the same season.

Went to eat at Fogo de Chao (1337 Chestnut) the other day, and I gotta say it was the best $25 I have ever spent on lunch. Easily one of the best deals in town. They have an amazing salad bar, and evey kind of meat you can dream of. Filet, sausage, beef wrapped in bacon, you name it, they bring it by the table. According to Trivia Art, all the guys who serve the meat are also the guys who cook it. And they keep it coming until you are so full you flip a card to the color red because you can't possibly eat another thing. I don't do many restaurant reviews, but yo, you gots to check this place out.
RELATED: Philly Weekly's review

Damn, getting these opening day Phillies tix ain't easy. Won't let me buy more than one online and the phone number won't even go thru. Guess I'm gonna have to drive down there. This jawn could be sold out already.

-Bounty Bowl at O'Neals (3rd and South) tonight. $25 extra to anyone who can knock off the Young the Old and The Restless tonight.

-Quizzo for the Cause this week. Was gonna do it last week, but we had low turnouts due to the weather. So $1 to play, with all proceeds going toward my Little League.

-Phillies tickets go on sale manana. Anybody up for opening day? That's Monday, April 2 at 1:00 P.M. Holla at me if you're up for it.

-I've got a bunch of free movie passes to see an upcoming release called Starter for 10. Let me know at quizzo if you wanna see it and I'll hook you up with passes.

Gonna be a great bracket challenge on the website once the NCAA tourney starts. Barristers Bar and Grille (1823 Sansom) is gonna be offering up $250 in gift certificates to the winner of the bracket challenge, and you fill out your brackets right here at johnnygoodtimes.com starting Monday, March 12. So start studying up on your college b-ball. Or better yet, don't. Because the person that wins these things is always "Denise from accounting" who just loves Valparaiso's uniforms. And what is so frustrating is that she wins over good people like you, a person has been studying perimeter defense weaknesses in all of the Patriot League teams for months, and is finally gonna win the bracket challenge this year, you just know it.

Barristers is promoting the fact that it is going to have the NCAA Tourney ticket, so you will be able to see any game you choose in there, and they're gonna have lots of specials as well. I'll have a lot more details as we get closer to the day.

When this opera opened in Rome on February 20th, 1816, the crowd booed throughout, and there were several onstage accidents. What opera was it?

Had to write my Metro story and then had an appointment, so I'm off to a late start. WiIl get the question of the week up in a few. Word-JGT

Hey gang, we're showing Borat tonight at the Trocadero. Show kicks off at 7:30 p.m. with the Wheel of Terrific.

What Kevin Costner masterpiece was filmed on Kaho'olawe, an island located 7 miles southwest of Maui'i?

Who's the most famous Belgian to ever live on Molokai?

Except for this mysterious island, owned by Chile and called Rapa Nui by the natives, Hawai'i is farther away from any land than any landmass on earth.

Who was killed at Kealakekua Bay on Valentine's Day, 1779?

On which island will you find Volcanoes National Park?

In what year was Hawai'i admitted to the Union?

Alright, peeps, as you know, I'm flying out to Hawai'i this week. So I'm posting pics of last weeks winners with questions about the 50th state underneath each photo. One guess per person.

-The winner at the box office this week was Ghost Rider, a Nicholas Cage movie that looks, quite honestly, like it could be the worst film ever made. Last week's winner was Norbit, which looks, quite honestly, like it could be the worst film ever made. Next week number one at the box office is expected to be Judge Dredd 2: Dredd Vs. Wapner.

-Remember when you were a kid, and your mom had a rough couple of weeks, so she bolted out of rehab and shaved her head bald and got tattoos all over the back of her neck? Of course you do. So why make a fuss when Britney does it? The amazing thing is that she's going to lose the custody battle to Kevin "Playing With Fire" Federline, which is kind of like losing a hockey game to the Flyers: almost impossible to do unless you are trying.

-Philly sucks at recycling. Somebody has a plan with proven results. John Street doesn't have time to hear it.

-I meant to post this last week but didn't. It's Bill Conlin's look at what he thinks the Phillies batting order should be. He drops Rollins in the lineup to protect Howard, which is a great idea. I love Jelly Roll, but I hate having a leadoff hitter with a OBP that isn't much higher than his BA. Holy cow, it's mid February and we're already talking baseball. This is awesome.

We began the week by showing True Romance at the Troc. The show opened with a very special Love Connection, as Chip Chantry was looking for love. Asronaut Lisa Nowak tried to snag Chip, but when she found out that another contestant was dating her astronaut lover, she flew into a rage and sprayed her with Mace. Next up, sexy bartender Mariann was up for grabs. It looked for a second that a terrorist was going to win her hand, but his "Death to America!" screams infuriated the Abe Lincoln impersonator who was trying to win her devotion. The terrorist looked like he had beaten the Lincoln impersonator with the sleeper hold, but the crowds chants of "USA! USA!" stirred something deep within the Lincoln impersonator and he came back and beat up the terrorist and won Mariann's hand. In other words, it was a pretty damn funny show.

On to quizzo. Another week, another blowout at O'Neals, as the Young the Old and the Restless won easily again, crushing Philly Hardcore. I am hereby announcing that there will be a $25 bounty on YOR's head next week, the first time they have ever been honored with the Bounty Bowl designation.

Now, I know what you're thinking: "Johnny, you brilliant little devil you, you planned this so perfectly. A comedy show that ends right at midnight in Chinatown, so that those of us at your show can then step right outside and see the midnight Chinese New Year Parade! Absolutely brilliant!" To which I can only say, uh, yeah, you're right. I, uh, planned it this way all along because I have, uh, remarkable foresight and people who say that this is just a totally awesome coincidence have no iea what they are talking about.

Holy s***! Are you kidding me? This rules! What a great excuse to see some great comedy and also a midnight parade! And you might as well get some good Asian food while you are there. I suggest Penang or the Sang Dee Peking Duck House. They both rock.
RELATED: JGT Comedy Spectacular.

I just can't help but like Shaq. I tried so hard to hate him for so many years, but that damn smile and sunny disposition finally wore me down. He's funny, he seems like a genuinely kool guy, and he seems to get it. He showed further evidence of his class and intelligence when speaking about gay former NBA player John Amaechi. (which to me is a hell of a lot more interesting than the Anna Nicole Smith debacle.)

''If he was on my team, I guess I would have to protect him from the outsiders," O'Neal said in Boston on Wednesday night. ''I'm not homophobic or anything.... I'm not the type who judges people. I wish him well.''

It has taken working with kids to realize how powerful Shaq's words are. Hardaway is a washup and a has been, while Shaq is still as superstar. And while his words will not get as much attention, they carry a heck of a lot more weight when I try to teach tolerance to the kids on my team. Another reason I like Shaq is that even though he certainly didn't need it, he went back to school and graduated college a couple of years ago, again setting a positive example. Now, he's not perfect (he's had children by three different women, though the last one is his wife), but none of us are. Perhaps he decided to go back to school after he gave us one of my favorite quotes of all time: "My game is like the Pythagorean theorem; no-one can figure it out."
RELATED: Writer Kevin Hench absolutely destroys Tim Hardaway.

-Milton Street is running for Mayor. Ha, ha, a guy under federal indictment really thinks that he has a chance at being mayor? That would be like a guy getting caught smoking crack with a hooker on video and then still get elected Mayor! Could never happen.

-Carlos Mencia, whose show is about as funny as Brian's Song, gets his ass handed to him for stealing jokes.

-Quizzo for the Cause postponed till next week due to low turnouts due to weather (At least, uh, I hope it was the weather.)

-Comedy Show Saturday!

This week Ginger catches a cold...and catches a Valentine!
It's been a rough week as I have single handedly kept Kleenex maker Kimberly Clark's stock up $12 over this time last year. I don't get sick often. And when I do, i have a hard time "stopping." It's kind of like when Mike Seaver on Growing Pains is sick and can't go to school. He turns on the TV and can't believe Gilligan's Island is actually on. He can't comprehend that the world goes on without him.

I don't think I am quite that egocentric, but I do think I have to keep functioning as best I can under the circumstances. I worked all weekend and slept when I wasn't serving up huevos rancheros. I thought "it" would be gone in a day or two but no. I woke up today, still hacking, with the realization that I could have a serious lung infection. I have been making light of the situation for days now, switching up the label on my illness to every other person I talked to. The one that seems to come up the most is tuberculosis. The wanna-be hypochondriac in me did a little research and discovered that over one-third of the world's population now has the TB bacterium in their bodies and new infections are occurring at a rate of one per second. That's nothing short of frightening. Most cases are developing in countries that are not.

-The above photo of grass and telephone poles is currently the lead photo on philly.com. I haven't seen such an engaging photo since that time I took a picture of the inside of my coat pocket. It was an accident, and I felt foolish when I realized what I had done.

-Tim Hardaway just said that he hates gay people. In case you were wondering, Tim's a really smart guy who has seemlessly made the transition from ballplayer to businessman while keeping his dignity intact. Why, just last week, I saw him play a carpenter named Randy in a game of one on one on the showPros vs. Joes . Tim totally kicked his ass with that killer crossover, then poor Randy couldn't sack Kordell Stewart. Silly carpenter.

-Michael Jackson might be appearing on American Idol soon. Realitytvmagazine.com reports that "several signs" point to the possibility that Michael Jackson will have his own "Idol" theme-week, and might even "mentor" the impressionable young talent on the show. Remember how well it worked out the last time that MJ "mentored" impressionable young people? This sounds like a really good idea. (from TMZ.com)

-Pat Burrell got engaged over the winter. Fortunately, the first time he met this girl, he didn't freeze up (there were no runners in scoring position at the time.)

-Still collecting submissions for worst love song of all time.

Hey gang, I just started a column in the Metro that's gonna be running every Thursday. First on is today, so pick one up!
UPDATE: Here's the link (thanks Trivia Art)

Well, I promised myself a big trip after Quizzo Bowl and today I delivered. I purchased tickets to Kona, Hawaii for a couple of weeks, and I'm leaving on February 25. Word the f*** up. I haven't had a vacation since, uh, I was like 15. Honestly. So I am gonna straight max and relax. OK, so that's not true. I'm sure I'm gonna try to pack as much stuff into two weeks as I humanly can. That's just how I roll.

I lived in Kona from March 1998-December 2000, and this is my first return. This will be the first time I have seen several very close friends in over 6 years. So for the next couple of weeks I will be reminiscing about my first stay there, which should certainly drive my site hits way down, b/c seriously, who wants to read about that s***? But I'm gonna write about it anyway, so just deal with it. And yes, I plan to blog while I'm there. Or maybe not. We'll see. I am fired up!

Sorry I'm off to such a late start. But it is the holidays and all, so I went out for a hot chocolate at Darling's Cheesecakes this morning. Ah yes, hot chocolate at Darling's in the midst of a winter storm on Valentine's Day. Boy, nothing more romantic than that! Unless you are a dude and you are grabbing that hot chocolate with Trivia Art. Then it's not quite as romantic. Aww, screw you, I don't even want a stupid Valentine! Just leave me alone!

I am very excited to announce the addition of some of my favorite comedians to Saturday night's show at the Trocadero. Pat House, recently featured in Philadelphia Weekly, has been added to the show. John Kensil, who has been plying his trade in LA for the past year, will be on the show. And one of my personal favorites, Chris Schlotterer will be doing time as well. He is an absolute riot. Of course, I will be hosting and Chip Chantry will be headlining. It's going to be a fantastic show and tix are only $5.

Last year around this time, I posted what I thought were the worst love songs of all time. Well, this year I want you to tell me what they are. And who knows, maybe the one you suggest could be a question this week. So post below what you think is the worst love song of all time. Oh, and the pic above is of Muskrat Love. (I still can't decide whether it's the greatest love song of all time or the worst.)

Hey gang, gonna be a little selfish this week. As many of you know, I am coaching a Little League basketball team, and the end of our inaugural season is rapidly approaching. The head of the league wants to get trophies for all of the players for making this first year of the league a success, and is trying to raise money to do so without having to ask the kids, many of whom come from situations where money for a basketball trophy is out of the question. Therefore, I am gonna ask everyone playing quizzo this week to donate at least a dollar to play so we can get trophies. Thanks for your support!

PS: If you can donate about 6-8 hours a month to completely change a child's life for the better and help make Philadelphia a world class city, please do so! Remember that the smallest good deed is greater than the greatest grand intention.

In what state will you find the city of Valentine, which calls itself Heart City?

-Bummer on the local blog scene. Blinq, the blog of record at philly.com and considered by many to be the best blog in the area (in fact, Blinq was named "Best Local Blog" by the City Paper in 2005) has gone offline. Daniel Rubin (above), the proprieter of said blog, is still gonna be around, but he's gonna be writing for the actual paper. I guess that's kool, but I'm gonna miss checking out his site every day. He did a great job keeping his ear to the ground and had a knack for finding interesting stories and blogs. Best of luck with the new position Dan!

-They've apparently replaced Blinq with a weather blog. Which should be really exciting and filled with lots of good tips on weatherproofing your-OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE START BLOGGING AGAIN DAN!!!

-Trocadero. 7:30 p.m. tonight. Be there!

-Big winners at the Grammys last night were the Dixie Chicks, Mary J. Blige, and the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Is this a joke? Have any of those 3 recorded an album since 1993? What, no awards for other "hot" groups like C & C Music Factory and Right Said Fred?

-Just wanted to say congrats to La Va coffee shop on 21st and South (aka my home away from home) on their one year anniversary. Good food, good coffee, and great ambience. Congratulations on year one!

What play was showing when Lincoln was assassinated?

What former general of the Union Army ran against Lincoln in the 1864 presidential election?

Who was Lincoln's Vice President during his first term?

While in the US House, Lincoln opposed the Mexican American War and slammed this president who authorized it, claiming that he was looking for "military glory — that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood."

Who did Lincoln have a famous debate with in 1858? (First and last name required)

Who was Joshua Speed Fry?
A) Lincoln's Vice President his first term B) His adoptive father C) Man who defeated him for US House in 1856 election D) Man Lincoln shared a bed with for 4 years

Well today is Honest Abe's big day, as he turns 195. I took the Abe Lincoln tour this past year, as I hung out in the town he was born and went to the theatre where he was killed. There are rumors that there is going to be an Abe Lincoln impersonator at the Troc tonight, but nothing has been confirmed. Anyways, we're gonna see how much you know about Ol' Abe. I'm gonna post pics of the winners, with an Abe Lincoln question below. You're gonna post answers. One guess per person! And no cheating!

We are going to have a blast Monday Night at the Trocadero, as in the spirit of the holiday we are gonna be playing Love Connection, with various people vying for the affection of Chip Chantry and sexy bartender Marianne (below). Then we are going to be showing a pretty damn sweet film. True Romance, starring Patricia Arquette, Christian Slater, Dennis Hopper, Christopher Walken, and Brad Pitt, among others. An incredible all star cast and a really fun movie. Come on out and join us at the Troc Monday night. 7:30 p.m. sharp. Be there!

Wow, what a week it was. It started on Saturday, with the best Quizzo Bowl yet. In fact, it was so much fun, I'm thinking of a possible Summer Slam event. Whattya you guys think? Anyways, here's the final wrap up: Here are photos, here are the final scores, and here's the final write up. Oh, and the now infamous Flashdance video. I know of at least one ex who sent a copy of the video to all of her friends and wrote, "Yes, it's gotten so bad that I actually dated this guy for a little while."

We move to Monday night, with Beetle Juice on the big screen. I was expecting nobody to be there the day after the Super Bowl, but we actually got a decent crowd of about 60 or so. Chip and I decided to do a little charades instead of the Wheel, which was fun. The movie itself, well, I gotta admit, it is my 2nd least favorite Tim Burton film. (Mars Attacks is by far my least favorite Tim Burton film.) I get a little bored when he goes off the deep end.

Steve Odabashian (above right), member of the 2nd place Lamda Lamda Lamdas and Andy Reid impersonator, apparently plays a pretty mean piano. Find out on Fridays at happy hour. Here's the info from Steve:
On Friday, February 9, come on out to 20th and Arch St where I will be playing piano. AD Amorosi of the Inquirer and City Paper will be doing a story on me for the Inquirer. I would love to have a rowdy, singing crowd in there. City Paper mentioned the show in the paper 2 weeks ago. Also, Cascamorto is running its free cab fare promotion again! Cascamorto will pick up your cab fare from anywhere in Philadelphia. (You are on your own for the way back. Please tip your driver). I am playing from 5 til 8:30 every Friday. Come on in. It's warm inside. The Inquirer folks will be there early, so try to get there by 5:30 if you can.

Hey gang, here is your chance to win two free tix to see tommorrow's production of NERDS: A Musical Software Satire, which is being put on by the Philadelphia Theatre Company. The show is essentially sold out, and these are the final two seats together. First person send me an e-mail answering the following question will get the seats (please only answer if you are interested in seeing tommorrow's show at 2 p.m.): Where did Bill Gates go to college?

RELATED: Nerds gets a glowing review from the Inky.
UPDATE: Tix were won by Andy Snowden. Enjoy the show, Andy!

Wow, two Sixers who nobody outside of Billy King and Hip Hop the Rabbit even knew existed came out, so to speak, to embarrass themselves on the topic of John Amaechi and homosexuality (Michael Wilbon in the Washington Post). Stephen Hunter, who you may best know as "That tall black guy you always see on the Sixers bench", said "For real? He's gay for real? Nowadays it's proven that people can live double lives. I watch a lot of TV, so I see a lot of sick perverted stuff about married men running around with gay guys and all types of foolishness." Hey Stephen, how about a little less TV and a little more working on your post game?

Shavlik Randolph, who you may best know as "That tall white guy you always see on the Sixers bench," decided he would one-up Hunter in the dumb comment department. He said, "As long as you don't bring your gayness on me, I'm fine." What? What does that even mean? Man, wouldn't it be completely awesome if the local gay community had "Bring Our Gayness Day" at the Wachovia Center, where they all "brought their gayness" on Randolph throughout the whole game?

Oh, and PS, Randolph went to Duke, so apparently that's where he became so enlightened. As if we needed more fuel to flame the "Duke sucks" fire.

Looks like an intern is in charge of front page headlines at Yahoo. (Philadelphiawilldo) My take on this Anna Nicole Smith thing: Only in America would we honor a person's life not because they were a good or talented or charismatic person, but simply because they had enormous boobs. I mean, honestly, she milked an old man for his money, she was a dismal failure as an actress, and she was a drug addict who constantly humiliated herself on television. Why did we love her, as CNN.com asked? Because we love a train wreck and we love giant hooters, and she brought those two things together like no-one ever did before. I feel sorry for her family and friends, and it is always sad when someone young dies, but I wish the media would quit acting like this was freaking Princess Di or even Marilyn Monroe. Click below to read Obit master Andy Nolan's tribute to Anna Nicole:

Yes, I know that this happened a week ago, but I just haven't had time til now to post something about the end of the Five Spot. When I first moved to Philly, I found a flyer on the ground on South Street that said that Dice Raw was hosting an open mic hip hop on Sunday nights at the Five Spot. I went, and was extremely nervous. But I got on the mic and actually did pretty well. I started going semi-regularly. Then, one night, Eve was in there. I did my stuff, and later the bassist for the house band came over and said, "Yo, Eve said that white boy is nice." I have been flying high off of that for about 5 years now. So so long, Five Spot. And thank you. Because without you Eve and I would have never gotten to know each other and subsequently fall in love. We both want to thank you, right honey? Eve says yes. She's here with me now and we are very much in love.

Now that things are returning to normal, we can welcome back Ginger. She talks about QB3, her drunken Groundhog's day, and her latest romantic prospects in this weeks Thursdays with Ginger.
Oh ho ho my goodness --it's a bitter one. I even ventured out of the house with eskimo-like head apparel on with no shame. I walked by the Schuylkill wondering where the penguins were. On the opposite end of the temperature scale, we had a scorcher of a quizobowl on Saturday night. I have known Johnny 4 years now, and he was at his best. He's been hitting the "Y' extra hard to get that Flashdance body. The Hellcat girls were awesome ( you can catch them at Johnny Brenda's with the rest of the troupe on February 11th.) I hope that I did just as good of a job collecting papers as I did in bowls prior cuz I had quite a doozy the day before as I celebrated the early arrival of spring during the Ground Hogs Day prognastication at the Grey Lodge...

Just a quick reminder, gang, that JGT and Chip CHantry will be dong standup at the Trocadero on Saturday, February 17th at 10:30 pm. So here's what you do: you get a good meal at a nearby fine Chinatown restaurant (I recommend Penang) and then you come by the Troc for a night of damn fine comedy.
RELATED: Chip featured in Philadelphia Weekly. (scroll down)

So I'm cruising in the the Crown Victoria last night, and I flipped it to WIP, and lo and behold, Eskin and TO are going at it (Click on the podcast to the right side of the page). Say what you will about TO, but he's a hell of a lot more entertaining than most athletes today, and I really think that he's a pretty smart dude (though I think he has a mental illness).

Alright gang, QB3 Scores Just click here to see how your team finished!

Hey gang, I've got a lot more QB3 pics over at flickr. If you have any QB3 pics you want added to the mix, please send them to me!

A sold out crowd at the World Cafe Live was rocking on Saturday night, as JGT turned it up to 11 and the Kenny Gates Trio rocked the house. In the end, the Sofa Kingdom stood alone as King of the Dorks, and the Champs dreams of a three-peat were dashed.

It was a night that had it all: devastating drum solos, major surprises, half naked women, a half naked quizmaster, and of course controversy. The night began with Alexis Brie Wildau performing on the ukelele. The crowd was a little skeptical at first, but warmed to her peformance when she kicked into Bon Jovi's "Living on a Prayer". She was followed by One Man Show David Smith, who played guitar while performing the human pretzel. (If the human pretzel is indeed something that is "performed".)

Finally it was time for JGT to take the stage. Despite assurances that I would not be rapping, I surprised everyone by opening the show with some totally ill hip-hop. With the Bears in the Super Bowl, it was obvious what song I had to rap: The Quizzo Bowl Shuffle. It was then time for the actual contest to begin.

There were 37 teams, and 6 of them emerged from the first round unscathed. My dad's team was in last after one round. But they rebounded strongly acing round number 2, the 50/50 round (Chicago or Indy). The Satan's MInions were the only team to make it thru two rounds without missing a question, and they held a narrow 37-36 lead over MAGMA after two.

Halftime saw the emegence of the Hellcat Girls (They were the same as the Bawdy Girls I had been promoting, but they just wanted me to announce them by a different name). The reaction to their performance was mixed, as I believe they usually play in wilder, rowdier venues. I didn't see any of it, as I was preparing for my song and dance number. When they were done, I emerged from the back wearing a lacy tux, but it didn't stay on long. Though I only performed Flashdance for about 2 minutes, the performance was enough to firmly establish me as one of Philly's most talented singers and dancers. Again, I hope to have video tommorrow.

The Champs had struggled through two rounds, but made their move in Round Three, as they were the only team to ace the Sexy and Risque Wild Card Round. But even a perfect round only put them in 2nd, behind the shocking leaders after three: Barbaro's S & M: Beating a Dead Horse, a team led by Trivia Art and Smackdown. After another incredible jam session by the Kenny Gates Trio, it was on to the Impossible Round, a round marked by controversy, finger pointing, and the emergence of a new champion.

Finally had some time today to work on the story for Quizzo Bowl 3. Spent about 2 1/2 hours of writing and rewriting until I had what I wanted. I then hit save, and that's when I realized that the internet in the cafe I was located had just gone down. Therefore the entire story was lost. If anyone needs to contact me this afternoon, just follow the F****** sound of valuable things being smashed by a F****** baseball bat. You should find me nearby.

What popular children's show did Irene Cara appear on from 1971-1972?

Oh, there was another thing he said that I almost forgot about. I think it was about midway thru the 2nd quarter, after it had been raining for about an hour and a half, and one of the quarterbacks made a really bad pass. Simms said, w/o sarcasm or irony but to help us better understand the game of football, "I think there might be some moisture on that ball." GEE WHIZ, PHIL, YA THINK SO??? What makes you say that, the five fumbles so far or the pouring rain that has drenched everything below it? I mean, seriously, how high of an IQ do you think a person has to have to make the deduction that after an hour and a half of pouring down rain, "there might be some moisture on the football"? I'd say 30. So I'm gonna guess that Phil Simms has an IQ hovering around 29.

There are rumors that we will have some video from Flashdance up tommorrow. Again, those are only rumors.

Alright, I finally got the 411 on the auction yesterday. It was a silent auction, so I had to leave before I saw how much I was worth. The winning bid to go bowling with me was $50, which ain't great, but could have been worse. Here's the funny part: I saw a couple of cute girls who were up for bid, and their prices were pretty low. So I figured I'd bump their values up a few bucks. I mean, hey, it's for charity, right? There was another hour left in the bidding when I left, so I was sure I'd get outbid on both. I didn't. I don't know what was up with the other dudes at the party, but somehow I won both. So yeah, I got three freaking dates out of this thing. I sort of know the one girl who bid on me, but I've never seen the other two in my life, so I think these will be my first ever blind dates. I'm going to a Flyers game on Saturday, I think, then I'm going to some play in a few weeks. I'll be sure to keep you posted.
RELATED: Johnny auctioned off for charity.

Just got back from WIlmington where I watched the Super Bowl with my family. Am starting on the final story for QB3. Will have it up by tommorrow morning. (also gotta work on tonight's Wheel of Terrific, so if I don't get it up this afternoon, it'll most def be up manana morning). Gonna recount all the scores to make sure we got 'em right and then post final standings tommorrow.

The pic above is a pretty wild one of the now infamous "Dumping of the tickets", when the dancer was supposed to dump glitter on me and accidentally dumped out all of the raffle tickets on me instead. I had my eyes closed when it happened, and when the tickets hit my face, I was like, "That is big glitter." It wasn't until after I was done dancing that my simple mind finally realized what had happened. At the afterparty, somebody said, "You know that you're going to need to make the dumping of the ticekts an annual part of Quizzo Bowl, don't you? That was amazing." And so, a tradition is born.

As for the Super Bowl, I still can't decide what was worse: the commercials, the announcers, or Rex Grossman. I really didn't laugh at any of the commercials, Grossman shoulda been pulled after the first interception, and Phil Simms is the stupidest man alive in America. In a night marked by incredibly worthelss "insight", his best remark came when one of the cameramen got plowed over by a receiver. He said, honestly, "You can't get scared down there, you can't get cabin fever." Yes, that is correct, Phil. You can't get cabin fever down there. SInce cabin fever occurs when you are alone, indoors, and in the midst of freezing weather, it is extremely hard to catch when you are surrounded by 80,000 people, you are outdoors, and you are in Miami.

Alright gang, time to turn it up to 11. Yeah, you partied all night Saturday and all day Sunday. Well, it is time to kick it into overdrive. We're showing Beetle Juice tonight at the Trocadero (1003 Arch Street), a movie which I am ashamed to admit that I have never seen. It all begins with a $3 you call it Happy Hour from 6-7 p.m. The Wheel starts spinning at 7:30 p.m., and there is movie trivia at intermission. Hope to see you there!

The Sofa Kingdom won Quizzo Bowl 3 on Saturday night, in a match filled with intrigue, heartbreak, and controversy. Of course, there was more than just quizzo, as we had a ukelele player, a human pretzel, burlesque dancers, and a jazz band (the Kenny Gates Trio) that absolutely ripped it. Oh, and then there was Flashdance. Please feel free to leave your thoughts and recollections below, and I will be back on Monday with a full recap of the festivities and final scores of all of the teams. We got some great pics, but if you got any photos of the event PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE email them to me, so we can put all of them together in the same place. Thanks!!!

Doors at 6:30 p.m. Kickoff at 7:30 p.m. Champ crowned at 10:30 p.m. After party at Devil's Alley at 11 p.m. BRING IT!!!

Another sweet prize that we'll be raffling off on Saturday night: A dinner for two at Marigold Kitchen (501 S. 45th Street), whose chef, Michael Solomonov, was named Philly Magazine's "Best New Chef" in 2006. In addition, I've got a gift certificate to the Black Sheep for $40, and a certificate to the Bards for $40. I also have tickets to the Adventure Aquarium in Camden and a $100 gift certificate to Gayle. Doors open at 6:30 p.m. and show starts promptly (for once) at 7:30 p.m. Then, after the Bowl, we'll be heading to the Devil's Alley 19th and Chestnut for the Gangsta Party. It's gonna be a fun night!

Chip Chantry, featured in last week's Philadelphia Weekly, will be headlining the JGT Comedy Spectacular at the Trocadero on Saturday, February 17 at 10:30 p.m. TIx will be $5 cheap! Gonna be a great show. Will give you more updates in the coming weeks.

Needle Nose Ned Ryerson missed question number three of round one at the Bards on Thursday night, then got the next 37 questions correct and came away with a 117-105 win over Hoagies and Fogies. That question: "What fortified Spanish wine is sometimes used for cooking?" They guessed Marsala, which is a fortified wine from Italy. The correct answer was Sherry. As for Needle Nose Ned Ryerson, I didn't catch the reference until I was watching Groundhog Day today (It's on Comedy Central right now), and voila, there was Needle Nose Ned.

It was a battle that came down to the wire, but in the end, it was the force of Anti-Magma that succesfully fought off MAGMA, 100-96. MAGMA got 9 out of 10 right in the final round, but missed four Super Bowl questions, and Anti-Magma got them all right. MAGMA hopes to rebound with an impressive performance on Saturday.

Alright, here's some stuff that I'll tell you about Saturday night, so we're all on the same page. The doors open at 6:30 p.m., and the show will be starting at 7:30 p.m. sharp, so get there before then. There are going to be a variety of acts. Brie Wildau will be playing ukelele, the One Man Show David Smith will be putting on, well, a one man show, and the Kenny Gates Trio will be playing jazz between rounds. At halftime, the Bawdy Girls will be performing.

Number one most asked question: Will there be a beer special? Yes. They will have a $3 Troegs special and a $3 Lager special. As for the quizzo, it will be 12 questions instead of the usual 10. It will be a bit more difficult than usual. Keep in mind, there will be around 40 teams there, so it will also take a little longer to grade than usual. However, with the jazz band playing, I don't think you'll mind. I am expecting the event to run from 7:30 until about 10:30. I will not be rapping at this event.

There is an afterparty/JGT B-day party after quizzo. It will be taking place at the Devil's Alley (1907 Chestnut). Everyone showing a ticket stub will get happy hour prices all night. Parties are fun.

There will be random giveaways throughout the evening, including gift certificates to several local restaurants and bars, tickets to the Adventure Aquarium, and the grand prize giveaway, a $100 gift certificate to Gayle (617 S. 3rd Street, between South and Bainbridge), Chef Daniel Stern's place which was named "One of the Hottest New American Restaurants" by Bon Appetit magazine last year.
RELATED: Quizzo Bowl in today's City Paper.

I know a lot of you beautiful women out there are thinking to yourselves, "There is no way in hell I am putting up a bid for a date with Johnny Freaking Goodtimes." But ladies, please try to remember, this...it's for the children. Wu-Tang is for the children. The fundraiser for Urban Blazers starts at 6:00 p.m. tonight at the Irish Pub (1123 Walnut). I prayed to the baby Jesus last night that at least one person bid on a date with me, b/c if I get zero bids I am going to cancel Quizzo Bowl and just stay in my room and cry all weekend. So there, ladies, you have to bid on me, or Quizzo Bowl is cancelled!

And I am hoping to make an appearance there, but I will still be at quizzo tonight, though I may be a little late.

The Scrubs 'N' Subs pulled off a win at the Black Sheep on Wednesday, knocking off the Satan's Minions, 113-105. The team was actually a mishmash of several teams who all ended up sharing a table and decided to share a sheet. The Minions, meanwhile, are hoping to improve on last years performance this Saturday. They finished 18th last year.

The Jams (aka Barbaro and the Glue Factory) took a perfect score into the final round, then finished with a 109 to take home an easy 109-89 win over Not So Much a Quiz, More a Way of Life. The Jams are expected to make a strong showing on Saturday. They finished 5th in QBI, and 3rd in QB2.

Yeah, we've got a sellout for Quizzo Bowl III. Sorry gang. Anyways, I'll let you know some more about the upcoming show later today.