January 2007 Archives

The Sofa Kingdom kicked it into an extra gear on Tuesday night, and rolled to a 116-99 win over the Narkotizing Dysfunktion. They missed one question in round three, and got everything else correct in an impressive showing. The Kingdom is still searching for an elusive first Quizzo Bowl win. They finished 4th last year, and 2nd in 2005. Will this be the year? We'll find out on Saturday.

Dork Sided came away with a dramatic one point victory over the Young, the Old, and the Restless at O'Neals on Tuesday night, 93-92. (I ain't gonna have time for a week in review this week, so I'll just give you the winners as they happen.) Popo offers them his congratulations.

Yeah, I'm kind of late getting it going today. I'll be back shortly. In the meantime, see what Trivia Art is dishing out over at Foobooz.

Alright, you can only play one quizzo this week (well other than Quizzo Bowl, obviously).

Yo, peeps, the fun on Saturday night will not end at the World Cafe Live. We're gonna keep the party going at The Devil's Alley (1907 Chestnut, a short cab ride from the World Cafe Live). The good people at the Alley are allowing everyone who shows their ticket stub from QB3 to enjoy Happy Hour prices all night long. Of course, even if you don't attend the Quizzo Bowl, you are free to swing by, buy me a drink, and tell me what a great guy I am. I mean, come on. It's my big day.

You will be so in the throes of a superintense binger by next Monday that you might as well keep it going. I mean, Wing Bowl, Quizzo Bowl, Super Bowl, Beetlejuice. It just flows. OK, now for a startling revation about myself. I have never seen Beetlejuice. Seriously, Monday will be the first time.

UPCOMING MOVIES:
2/12: A special Valentine's Week Showing of True Romance. There are rumors of Bobby Badtimes hosting the Wheel.
2/19: Borat.

We've all heard this sentiment expressed dozens of times before: "Johnny Goodtimes? Please girl, I wouldn't date him unless it was for charity." Well, guess what, ladies (and Apolo Ohno), now it is! That's right, the Urban Blazers, an organization we raised money for last year , is having a fundraiser auction this Thursday at the Irish Pub (1123 Walnut), and you can bid on a date with me (or you can bid on other people, and yes guys, there will be dates with females being auctioned off as well). It'll be a Happy Hour from 6-9 with drink specials and free appetizers. They are asking for a $10 donation at the door, with all proceeds going to the charity. Finally, a chance to go out with a guy like me and not feel terrible about yourself in the morning!

The day Johnny was born, February 3rd, is also known as the day the music died, as Richie Valens, Buddy Holly, and the Big Bopper all died in a plane crash on that date in 1959. What was the Big Bopper's real name?

Rumors that Johnny will be performing a certain type of music at a certain event that may or may not be taking place this Saturday are patently false. "Oh, here we go again," said a visibly dismayed Goodtimes. "Why is it that people can't come to grips with the fact that that part of my career is over. Was it fun kicking it with Slick Rick? Was it great to get to date Eve for a short while? Of course. But those days are over. I turn 32 on Saturday. That's like 100 in rap years. It's over people. Deal with it. And move on."

You know it's a rough time in Philly sports when the lead story in the Inky sports section is about ice skater Johnny Weir. Yes, that Johnny Weir, the one who makes Liberace look like John Wayne. I mean, if you guys are gonna do a story about winter sports, do one about Apolo Anton Ohno (above). He is dreamy. What? Oh, like the sight of Apolo Anton Ohno's gorgeous mane doesn't bump you up to a 2.5 on the Kinsey scale. Puh-leeez.

Hey peeps, one of the greatest films, uh, like ever is showing tonight at the Trocadero. It's the back end of back to back Jack, as we are showing the film that won the Academy Award for the year I was born, One Flew Over the Cockoos Nest. If you have not seen this movie, it is an absolute must see. If you have seen this movie, well you ain't seen it on the big screen, so tonight's the night. See ya there at 7:30 p.m. for the Wheel of Terrific!

Tom Harkin.

Lamar Alexander.

John Sununu.

Orrin Hatch.

Daniel Akaka.

Chuck Hagel.

Alright, I'm gonna post photos of this weeks winners and post a senators name under it. You tell me what state they represent. One guess per person. No cheating.

We start on Monday, with the showing of The Shining. I thought the Wheel was going to be a disaster, since people attending a horror movie usually aren't in the best frame of mind to laugh out loud. But the crowd dug it. The best game was probably "Snowy Labyrinth of Death," in which a woman had to make her way out a labyrinth that consisted of three boxes before she froze to death. She did. The movie was awesome. At one point, I wandered downstairs and watched it by myself in the main ballroom for a few minutes, with an empty old bar behind me. Creepy.

Tuesday saw a blowout at O'Neals, as Dork Sided cruised to a 107-91 win over the Young the Old and the Restless. The Dorks only missed one question in the final two rounds, acing the popular "Wacky TV Neighbors Round". (The only question they missed, "What team did the Bears beat 73-0 in the 1940 championship game?" The answer is the Redskins. Early in that game, with the Bears only up 7-0, a Redskin receiver dropped a pass in the end zone. After the game, Redskin QB Sammy Baugh was asked if that play had made a major difference in the game. He said, "Yeah, that would have made it 73-7.")

Yo peeps, gotta do a photo shoot for the City Paper, so I'm not gonna have time right now for Week in Review. Will get to work on it asap. Thanks for your patience. In the meantime, a quick reminder: One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest , one of the greatest films of all time, will be playing Monday, and I will be celebrating my B-Day then, so I want you guys to show up. It's gonna be fun.

If you decide to get QB3 tix this weekend, you can do so by going to the World Cafe Live website. If you and a few friends wanna go but don't have a team of 8, that is fine. I do have tickets for the bar, where smaller teams can play. Talk to me next week. If you really wanna go (and you do), do not wait until the day of the event to buy your teams tickets! We've sold a little over 170 tickets so far, and I do think that it could very well sell out before the night of the show. If you need to contact me concerning Quizzo Bowl, then click here.

Going to meet with a friend about other burlesque acts for Quizzo Bowl. In the meantime, I want u to be in charge of the site and let me know what is the best city in the USA. We already discussed worst city, now let's move to best. To be honest, I think Philly is number one. If there was one I liked better, I would probably live there. We've got all four sports, great food, great nightlife, a little bit of attitude, and it is affordable to live here. I'm a big fan of San Fran, and I gotta admit it, I like Chicago. As far as smaller cities go, I am a big fan of Richmond, but part of that is probably sentimental (I have a lot of family there) and Portland, Maine (super friendly people, good cozy food).

Johnny's co-host, Chip Chantry, and WOT regular Pat House both made Philadelphia Weekly's "10 Comedians who don't suck" list. Congrats to both of these funny men who are both, unfortunately, bad human beings (Pat was arrested for kicking a panda at the zoo in 2004, and Chip once played a prank on a passed out roommate by injecting him with leprosy.)
Chip Chantry on MySpace.
Pat House on MySpace.

No, I don't want a new brain, I just want you guys to hang out with me at one of the best movies ever made. I have decided that my last few birthdays have been kind of uneventful, and last years pretty much sucked, so this year I'm going all out to have the best birthday ever. And it's gonna be a weeklong celebration. Now, I know what you're thinking: "Johnny, are you really so narcissistic that you think you deserve a full week for your birthday?" And the answer is yes. On Monday, we're kicking things off with the movie that is one of only three to win Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor, Best Actress, and Best Screenplay ever. And it also happened to be released the year I was born. And it's gonna be a birthday party. Now don't play me like Peter Brady, having a party to celebrate myself and none of you knuckleheads show up except for that girl I saved from the collapsing wall at Driscoll's. For those of you who have never seen the Wheel of Terrific or been to Movie Monday, this would be a great week to check it out.

The site is currently experiencing some minor technical difficulties. Some features may not work as expected. We're working to resolve the issues.

-There is talk of a TV reality show called "Virgin Territory" in which Jenna Jameson and Paris Hilton will teach people how to lose their virginity. Yeah, nothing should calm those "first time" jitters like knowing that 60 million Americans are gonna laugh their asses off when you struggle to undo her bra strap. And in case you are wondering, the answer is no, I will not be losing my virginity on this show.

-Rocky gets dissed for winning an Oscar, 30 years later. This great line from the director of Network: "I've been nominated five times," the director told The Associated Press last year. "But on two occasions, I got so pissed off about what beat us. With 'Network,' we were beaten out by 'Rocky' for Christ's sake."

-This is hilarious. And people say that giant corporations are just unfeeling monoliths. For shame.

-This from a story about a person named Niaja who bought and sold counterfeit prescription pills such as Viagra and Percoset: Kane used the screen name "moreandmoreNiaja" to facilitate the Internet purchases. The bogus drugs were then shipped from China to Kane in Philadelphia. Again, kids, if you are going to do something illegal on the internet, it is somewhat wise to not use your actual name, especially when you are probably like one of 3 people in the entire city named "Niaja".

FOX 29 has decided to trash it up a little. Sweet!

Yes, I will have Quizzo Bowl Tix on me this week. Sold about 60 last week and expect to have that number rise substantially this week. I would advise you to get your 8 person team together and get your ducks in a row, because it is on.

Well, I've never really heard anything good about Indianapolis, and everybody always gushes over how great Chicago is, so I got to wondering, let's talk about what the best and worst cities in America are. And let's start with worst. This is kind of a tough one. Charlotte sucks. It is a soulless corporate refuge filled with the lamest, most boring people on earth. Detroit is really awful (especially it's hookers). It is filthy and scary and mean, and the winters must be brutal right there on the lake. But it does have three sports teams (well, two and a half), the Ford Museum, which is awesome, and it is the home of Motown. Dallas is reprehensible. Every bar and restaurant there is as big as the Wachovia Center, and they all look equally stupid, and the people there are just plain weird. Norfolk, VA, is awful as well. It like an enormous strip mall, as it consists of just one crappy fast food chain after another with a Pep Boys and Wal-Mart thrown in and here and there for miles and miles and miles straight. But I'm gonna go with Reno. Middle of nowhere, wanna be Vegas with nothing else to do besides gamble. And in my case, get a rash on my arm that didn't go away for a month. And no, it didn't come from Reno hookers.

Who did Hulk Hogan defeat on January 23, 1984, to win his first WWF heavyweight wrestling title?

Johnny Goodtimes, long considered one of Philly's greatest entertainers by the underground but snubbed by the mainstream, thinks he knows why. "I have succeeded in many things, but have failed in one-to make quizzo sexy," says the award winning quizmaster. "That's about to change. On February 3rd, to be precise. On that date (which also happens to be Goodtimes birthday), we will be putting the IQ in Risque." But Goodtimes thinks his vision is even grander. "This is about more than making quizzo sexy. It's about making Philadelphia sexy. For too long we've been looked at as more trashy than sexy, a stereotype perpetuated by that neanderthal eating contest that takes place every year. Trashy has had it too good in this town for too long. On February 3rd, sexy fights back."

Therefore JGT has hired the Bawdy Girls as his halftime entertainment. THe Bawdy Girls are women who realize that sexy is real, and not something that comes from saline, silicone, and botox. Much like the fact that the true measure of a person's worth is the amount of questions they can answer, not the amount of wings they can eat. There is already Quizzo Bowl vs. Wing Bowl smack talk going down at Blinq, so I highly suggest you check it out. JGT will be selling tix at quizzo all week ($15 a pop).
RELATED: Join the Bawdy Girls on MySpace.

Well, shows you what we know. In last weeks poll, over 30% of you thought that the Saints would win the Super Bowl, 29% thought the Pats, and the Colts and the Bears were 3rd and 4th, respectively. I've just posted a new poll. That Colts-Pats game last night was incredible. I was rooting for the Colts, b/c I like Tony Dungy a lot, and I had all but given up when it was 21-3. But that 2nd half was the most wildly exciting 2nd half of NFL football I've seen since that Patriots-Panthers Super Bowl, and now I don't know who to root for in the Super Bowl. Like I said, I love Tony Dungy, but I hate the Irsay family for what they did to the people of Baltimore. That move was much worse than what Modell did to Cleveland. On the other hand, I'm sick of hearing Chicago fans whine about the Cubs when they got to enjoy the greatest athlete in the history of the world for 15 years, MJ. And, like someone said in the comments section when I was on my trip, I'm also sick of how great everyone from Chicago seems to think Chicago is. I think, in the long run, I'll probably root for the Colts, b/c I want Tony Dungy to win it all.

Mr. Grady. Jack. The Overlook. On the freaking big screen! The greatest horror film ever (feel free to argue below, though you are wrong) playing at the Troc. 7:30 p.m. And scattered flurries today, as you watch a film that takes place entirely in the snow. I mean, are you serious? Fate wants you here! Hell yes!!!

Emma Bunton turns 31 today. Which Spice Girl was she?

This artist had a hit with the song, "There'll Be Sad Songs (To Make You Cry)"

This folk guitarist, who sang the song "Handsome Johnny", opened Woodstock, and received so many standing ovations that he ran out of songs.

This DJ was prominently featured in American Graffiti.

This man coached Cheyney State for 10 years before becoming a Division one basketball coach.

This man starred in Birdman of Alcatraz, the Young Savages, and starred as Ernst Blofeld on On Her Majesty's Secret Service.

Lots of celebrity birthdays today, so I'm gonna post pics of the winners with a trivia question about one of our birthday boys and girls. One guess per person.

It was a wild and wacky week on the quizzo front, as several of the Big Guns fell silent. A tough time to do it too, as all of these teams are desperately hoping to build some momentum going into QB3. But we begin with Snakes on a Plane. It was a huge crowd, and the Wheel of Terrific went great. With my co-host Chip Chantry off winning some contest, I got a lot of help from local comedian Pat House and the lovely Ginger. We played all new games, including "Cakes Ain't the Same", "Grapes In a 'Cane", and "Sweeptstakes to Claim". Then it was time for the movie, of which I watched a total of 30 seconds (those 30 seconds being the makeout scene in the bathroom. What can I say, I'm 31 going on 14.) But I'm scared of snakes and not really excited about flying, so I just spent the rest of the night at the bar. After that, Ginger and I grabbed late night grub at the House of Chen. And it is here that I must rat out the lovely Ginger. I saw Philadelphia's Beer Lass drink a Budweiser.
To read about this weeks major upsets, click below.

Monday. 7:30 p.m. Trocadero. On the big screen. HELL F****** YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quizzo regular Steve O. is gonna be playing piano at Cascamorto's today from 5-8 p.m. THis from Steve: Expect to hear lots of rock and roll, random 80s stuff, and other things you never thought you would hear on a piano. Part music, part comedy, all around craziness. It's a fun time, and be ready to sing along. In fact, I beg you to sing along.

One thing I haven't mentioned earlier that I've gotten numerous emails about is team size. The answer is that team max is 8. How easiest to get tickets? Come to quizzo. I will be selling tix at quizzo all next week. You can buy them online at worldcafelive.com as well, but they are more expensive there. The show begins at 7:30 p.m. Oh yeah, and February 3rd just happens to be my birthday, so there is talk of a birthday afterparty. I'll keep ya updated.

One offers fine wine, foot massages, Belgian chocolate, and a Caribbean vacation, while another inquires if his future mate is curious about fisting. Hmm...looks like I am not going to find my dream boat on craig's List. Maybe if the former offered fine beer, back massages, Belgian chocolate, and Belgian vacations it would be his lucky day. I don't want to eat Belgian Chocolate in the Carribean. I want to drink El Presidente in the Carribean. And I certainly don't want to meet my lad on Craig's list.

With Valentine's Day looming in the not so distant, I decided to take a few moments out from what's been commented on as my "fascinating life", and ponder what would make it fascinating on february 14th, or more so, who?

I have three weeks and five days to be swept off my feet. or perhaps sweep him off his. Considering my frequency of watering hole visits- it's more likely to happen there then during a Philly car share exchange at Broad and Ellsworth.

Truth be told I have had a valentine more years than not, but I have kind of dated the same guy in different bodies for five years now. And I am done. After my last quasi relationship, I started setting rules. No more canuks, no more actors, no more bar managers, bar owners, bar tenders, etc... no more musicians, no more chefs.

But then I thought, should I really pigenohole myself like that? What if I meet a mandolin-playing, part-time restaurant manager, who gets parts every now and then, and calls Nova Scotia home. And- he just so happens to brew his own beer, wants to go running in Fairmount park, play scrabble with me and is also trying to eat as much guacamole as he can in this lifetime. Then what's a lass to do?

-Friends recall Napoleon's cowardly fight with cancer.

-Happy Anniversary to my favorite mayor in world history, Marion "Bitch Set Me Up" Barry. It was on this date in 1990 that, well, that bitch set him up. Here are some hilarious Marion Barry quotes.

-Remember last week, when there was still a chance that we might have a home playoff game, so they told us that those wildly swaying "fun ramps" were safe? Well, now that we're not having a home game, they can let the cat out of the bag: they're, um, sort of safe but not THAT safe, so they're gonna make 'em stronger before next year.

-Congrats to the Sixers, who pulled off a very important loss last night. The Memphis Grizzlies had a worse record than us and could have gained a two game advantage on us in the Greg Oden sweepstakes. But with our backs against the wall, we came out sucking like we've never sucked before, and were able to fend them off and take the loss.

I woke up this morning grumpy. Here we were, less than three weeks away from QB3, and I still had no halftime show and no headline performers. So I met with the lovely Ginger today to get some work done, and let's just say that after screaming at each other for several hours, we somehow ended up very close to signing an extremely sexy halftime act. Then she had a brainstorm about a band, and I'm meeting with the leader of said band tommorrow. It sounds PERFECT, but I gotta see if they're available before I give out any details. I'm starting to get really excited about this. Stay tuned!

-If any big time drug dealers in Tennessee are reading this, remember that it's that time of year again: time to apply for your Drug tax stamp.

-Oh yeah, my review on Rocky: It's very sappy and melodramatic, but he also pays loving homage to both the character and the city of Philly. I thought they should have made the match between he and Antonio Tarver 3 rounds, which would have made the whole thing a lot more realistic. And you can see the Bards in one of the scenes. I would definitely recommend it, if only to see all the spots in Philly.

-Don't you hate it when you are watching porn at night and you see a window shot and there is light out and it reminds you that the porn was taped and edited days earlier and it just ruins the whole fantasy? No? Well, who cares, you're gonna watch live porn anyway.

K-Fed is set to appear in a Super Bowl commercial! Man, I hope he's rapping in it! That would mean that K-Fed and I would be rapping on back to back days! Like Blood Brothers! Uh, no wait, nevermind. I almost forgot that I'm retired from the rap game.

I will have tix to Quizzo Bowl 3 on sale all week. First come first serve in terms of picking your seats. You can also purchase them online, but they are $15 if you buy them from me and $18 if you buy them online. Still putting together my line-up, but you know if you saw the first two that it will be awesome and well worth the money (Ok, besides the freaking bellydancer at QB1. Can we just move past that?). I am also raising the stakes. In the past, the winners got $300. This year, the winner gets $500 and 2nd place gets $250. I will also have lots of free stuff to give away. This is the Quizzo event of the year. Do not miss it! Doors open at 6;30 p.m. and quizzo begins at 7:30 p.m.

Wheel of Terrific co-collaborater and local comedian Chip Chantry was unable to do the Wheel last night because he was involved in a competition at Helium Comedy Club (Ginger and Pat House filled in and did a fine job.) The Purina Pet Challenge called for local comedians to do their best pet jokes. Well, Chip not only entered but he won. He got $1,000 and will be flown out to St. Louis in March to compete for $10,000. Congratulations Chip!

FIrst of all, Happy birthday to quizzo cutie Sada of "The Number of Men I've Had Sex WIth Is..." Her 25th was Thursday. Today would be the 106th birthday of Frank Zamboni if he were still alive. He invented the, well, I think you know what he invented. The Frank. Hahahahaha. Whew. Man, that was good. You thought I was gonna say Zamboni and then I said Frank. That just totally messed with your head. Yesterday was Philadelphia boxing legend Bernard Hopkins b-day. He turned 42.

That is piano playing, Andy Reid impersonating quizzo regular Steve Odabashian above with, yeah, that's right ladies. Fabio. Only in America. Oh, and vote in the new poll to the right.

-FIrst of all best wishes Danny (above). He bartended his last quizzo on Thursday. He got called up to the big leagues, and will be working the floor at the Good Dog on Friday and Saturday nights.

-Lonely? Well how about getting yourself that perfect gift that just screams "creepy loner." It's the one man see-saw.

-Fun time waster. Here's a bunch of completely random old newspaper articles from Philadelphia, from the 1700s to now.

-I've said it before and I'll say it again: johnnygoodtimes.com is your K-Fed headquarters.

Martin Luther King was a student at the Crozer Theological Seminary in what nearby city, receiving his Bachelor of Divinity in 1951?

I submit to you that if a man hasn't discovered something he will die for, he isn't fit to live.

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

Nonviolence is the answer to the crucial political and moral questions of our time; the need for mankind to overcome oppression and violence without resorting to oppression and violence. Mankind must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression, and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

The chain reaction of evil - hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars - must be broken, or else we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.

Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.

I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become a reality... I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word.

If a man is called to be a streetsweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great streetsweeper who did his job well.

Never forget that everything Hitler did in Germany was legal.

Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions. Nothing pains some people more than having to think.

The hottest place in Hell is reserved for those who remain neutral in times of great moral conflict.

We'll be showing Snakes On a Plane tonight at the Trocadero. The action kicks off at 7:30 p.m. with the Wheel of Terrific. I am not sure I will actually be watching the movie because, uh, geez, how do I say this without sounding like a sissy? Ok, fine, I'm scared of snakes. Anyways, the next two weeks are going to be incredible. Next Monday, we're showing The Shining. The week after that, I'm throwing a little birthday celebration at the Troc with the movie that won the Oscar for Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Director, and Best Screenplay for the year I was born, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, which also happens to be one of my favorite films of all time. Back to back Jack is gonna be awesome.

I hope that today some of you are inspired to do with your lives what Martin Luther King did with his, which to is leave the world a better place than you found it. JOIN BIG BROTHERS BIG SISTERS. Just a few hours a month can have a tremendously positive impact on a child's life. Don't wait for other people to make Philly a better city. It is time for YOU to help make it a better city. If anyone has any questions regarding the program, please feel free to contact me.
"Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?'" -Martin Luther King

Many in the folk music world considered Bob Dylan a traitor after his 1965 performance at this New England music festival.

Few people noticed when this baseballer went from Kansas City to Oakland in 2000. But when he switched teams five years later, he was seen as the biggest traitor in sports history. Who is he?

This man, angry at the outcome of a presidential elecion, decided to start a new country west of the Appalachians. This plan never really got off the ground, but he was charged with treason anyway. He succesfully defended himself in a well publicized trial. But he is more famous for something that happened a few years before. Who is he?

While a member of NWA, Dr. Dre rapped, "We started out wit too much cargo...So I'm glad we got rid of Benedict Arnold." What former groupmate was he referring to?

Iva Toguri was long considered a traitor, but later evidence indicated she was not, and she was pardoned in 1977. What was she better known as?

Before he was executed as a traitor for refusing to accept Henry VIII's claim to be the supreme head of the Church of England, he coined the term "utopia". Who is he?

Today is Benedict Arnold's b-day. Happy Birthday, ol' sport. In honor of Benedict, I'll post pics of the winners above with trivia questions about famous traitors. One guess per person.

Pitchers and catchers report in 31 days.

We got it started on Monday with Jackass 2 at the Trocadero. The Wheel of Terrific was, well, a disaster. And therein lies the beauty of the Wheel. It is usually either a laugh riot or a really awkward 15 minutes, which is almost as fun, b/c when it starts going downhill Chip and I just get more obnoxious to amuse ourselves. The games were mostly the same as games that have killed in the past. But there were a lot of hipsters there, and laughing out loud is expressly prohibited in the hipster handbook. The awkward silence was especially pronounced during "Horny Robot Jenga". This monday we'll be showing Snakes on a Plane.

This week Ginger talks about her first Mummers experience and gets called dirty names by her sister. Enjoy!

I woke up at 5:30 in the am and decided I would cheer on the mummerific clowns at Broad and Washington. I thought things were kicking off at 7:45. There I was, of all things to be early to, I took to the bleachers at 7:43 and waited. And waited. I can't remember the last time I saw so many bleach-blond moms in eagles jerseys feeding their children bologna sandwiches. But those Oscar Myer children were adorable. I got sick of waiting and sold my soul to corporate america for a crappy cup of Dunkin Donuts coffee, returned to the bleachers and waited some more. Finally sometime around 9:15, they start dancing. Kicking things off with "Living on a Prayer." Followed by "Rosalita." When C & C' Music Factory's "Everybody Dance Now" came on, I had to make my exit --I got called into work. But I had been inspired.

Yo peeps, I'm out the door. Gonna see Rocky Balboa with my Little Brother. I'll let you know how is. I'll have Week in Review and Ginger up manana. And Snakes On a Plane on Monday at the Troc, and then back to back Jack, which is gonna be FREAKING AWESOME. Details to follow soon.

I just got this email from my friend Meghan at the PSPCA. If you or any of your friends are looking for a dog, please let her know ASAP. Thanks!
PAWS, Philadelphia Animal Welfare Society, URGENTLY NEEDS YOUR HELP. We have a Female, Mix Pit Bull named Thea currently in our care that needs foster care. She was scheduled to get euthanized until I found her and she started licking my hand. I stopped the authorization so I could try my best to save her life. Now I really need your help. She came in on 1/9, with an open wound and scars on her leg after being injured in some way. We have had her on medication until the stray hold was up, but we simply do not have the resources to keep her in our care. We desperately need someone to step up to the plate and help her get what she truly deserves. When most dogs come to shelters, they are shaking and scared, trusting no one. This poor girl acts like nothing is wrong, wagging her tail and giving neverending kisses, while dangling her leg, maybe it's because she knows I'm trying to save her.
We cannot keep her through the weekend, therefore we need to find her foster care by the end of the day Friday, 1/12 or she will be placed to sleep.

Please do not let this happen, contact me immediately at (215)852-3999 or at mgarber@phillypaws.org. If I had a camera handy I would take a picture so you could see how beautiful she is. If you cannot help, please pass this to someone who you think can.

I got the Eagles, 30-27. Drew Brees is the type of QB who always gives us trouble, becuase his quick release makes it all but impossible to put pressure on him. I think our offense has to score a lot to win. I really think that the winner of this game and the winner of the Chargers-Patriots game are gonna be the two teams in the Super Bowl. Anyway, post your prediction for a final score below. I'll buy a beer for whomever comes closest. (Not total points, but closest to each teams final score.)

Once again, I have gotten a ton of feedback from bands interested in playing at Quizzo Bowl. But during the middle of the week, I have absolutely no time to listen to all of the bands. I will listen to all of them this weekend, as that is my only objective besides watching the Eagles game.

Hey gang, tix for Quizzo Bowl 3 will go on sale this Monday. You will be able to buy them either online or on consignment from me.

-Pimp my toilet.

-Kelly Clarkson is looking a little rough.

-Don't worry, they are only enforcing the smoking ban at bars no-one has ever heard of.

-The 2nd round this week was one of the toughest ever. It was, "List 10 of the top 20 Fortune 500 companies." Here is the entire list.

As you might imagine, things are getting a little crazy as we head into QUizzo Bowl time, so if I'm not posting quite as much, you'll know why. (OK, non sequiter: I just sneezed really hard and hurt my shoulder. Bad. I'm not kidding.) Anyways, I'm getting TONS of responses from bands wanting to play at QB3, so I'll be scoping them out quite a bit over the next few days. If you contacted me, thank you. Fair warning: It will probably take at least a few days for me to get back to you. I'm also waiting to hear back from my halftime performer. Hopefully I'll have some more info soon. I expect tix to go on sale next week. I'll keep ya updated.

This Orlando Magic player missed four free throws in the final minute of Game 1 of the 1995 NBA finals. Had he made a single one, they would have won. Instead, they lost and went on to be swept in the series.

Who was the coach of both the infamous 1964 Phillies team and the California Angels team that blew a 3-1 series lead (and a 9th inning, 2 out lead in Game 5) against the 1986 Red Sox?

The Yankees blowing a 3 game lead over the Red Sox was the most wonderful choke in sports histry. The whole choke began when this utility journeyman made a gutsy steal of second base in Game 4. Who was he?

Who blew a six stroke lead in the final round of the 1996 Masters?

The Houston Oilers defensive coordinator was fired the day after the Oilers choked away a 35-3 lead in that infamous playoff game against the Bills. Who was named their new defensive coordinator?

Bill Buckner gets all the blame, but who was the Boston pitcher who threw the wild pitch that allowed the game to be tied before Mookie hit the ball through Buckners legs?

Yeah, I totally forgot to post pics of last weeks winners, so I'm gonna post 'em now To find out how they won, click here. BTW, in honor of Tony Rom this weeks questions will all be about great chokers. One guess per person.

The good news is that we're gonna get to party like rock stars at this year's Quizzo Bowl, because it's on a Saturday. The bad news is that the Crowd Pleasers cannot perform, since they perform at Bob and Barbara's on Saturday nights. So Johnny needs a new backup band, and I figured that it would be fun to get the word out and see who was interested. I'm probably wanting to stay lounge-actish, if possible, but all entries will be considered. If you're in a band, have friends who are, or know of a perfect group for this, it is a paying gig and it is on the main stage at the World Cafe Live on Saturday, February 3rd. Just contact me if you are interested.

Well, we're kicking into gear this week as I start recruiting people to do their part to make Philly the greatest city in the country. As I said before, it takes more than great restaurants, museums, and nightlife. It also takes a feeling of community, an honest effort by its citizens to go the extra mile to help those less fortunate. Amber Adamson at BBBS is going to help me achieve my goal by matching you with prospective Little Brothers. Here's a bit more about her and about our mission:

My name is Amber Adamson and I work at Big Brothers Big Sisters Southeastern PA (BBBS SEPA). I have lived in the Philly area for the past 10 years (wow, that long already- I AM getting old). I was a student at Swarthmore and Penn, and have held a few different postions in the past 6 years-working first as a teacher for kids with learning disabilities, a year doing an Americorps VISTA and then of course, Big Brothers Big Sisters. Outside of work, I enjoy celebrity gossip, drinking wine, wearing high heels and going to the beach (THE SHORE)!

Amber Adamson
Work: 215-790-9200 ext. 306
Cell: 215-917-1311
Email:Aadamson@bbbssepa.org

First the Jets lose. Then the GIants lose. The Knicks are a joke. Then Cal Tech, a school which had not won a basketball game in over 11 years, defeats Bard College. From? New York. Finally, New York notices a foul stench descending on their city, and it takes those morons almost 24 hours to figure out that it was coming from Jersey, something I coulda told 'em in 30 seconds. Hey morons, here's a quick rule of thumb: the stench is always coming from Jersey.

The world's smallest "country" (actually just a former anti aircraft platform off the coast of England), which has it's own currency, flag, national anthem, and stamps has just gone on sale. What is this "nation" called?

First of all a great quote. Eagle CB Sheldon Brown, on the pressure on David Akers as he prepared for the game winning field goal with three seconds left: "I know why I didn't try to be a field-goal kicker, because I would have peed myself."

BTW, I was at the game, and it was awesome. I had been to two previous Eagles games, the devastating loss to the Giants early in the season when we blew a huge 4th quarter lead and the meaningles Falcons game last week. But they were nothing compared to this. The crowd was out of control, and on its feet for probably half the game. The place was electric. The best chant was when the Giants lined up for a field goal and my entire section started chanting, "Ro-mo! Ro-mo!"

But I'll have to be honest. Call me a sissy all you want, but I'd still rather be at a Phillies playoff game than an Eagles one. This cult of Eagle-mania is, to be perfectly honest, a little frightening in its intensity. The shouts of "Break his f****** legs!" and "Rip his f****** head off!" throughout the games are a bit much. And the riding the Giants fans non-stop and throwing beers at them and stuff, I dunno. There's nothing wrong with a needling the opponents' fans and all, but damn, they paid their money too. Give 'em a second to watch the game without constantly calling them a slew of names, all of which imply that they enjoy the company of other men or have an Oedipal complex. If you got something creative to say, then go for it. Otherwise, just shouting the same words over and over gets a little old. Then again, when I went to a Redskins game a couple of years ago, the fans were just as bad, so it might not just be Eagles fans, but NFL fans in general. I dunno, there jsut seems to be an ugliness to it that I don't find at other sporting events.

Got a toothache about a week ago and got a dentist appointment for today. When your cheap ass health insurance doesn't cover much dental work, you go to the ghetto dentist, the one that doesn't have a computer or detailed "records", where you hold your own drool sucky thing (drool sucky thing, or DST, is the actual medical term) during the procedure, and where the TV in the waiting room is showing Jerry Springer. Today's episode sucked. It was, "I'm a lesbian and I'm having a baby." Booo-ring. That's so Phil Donahue 1985. I used to watch a lot of Springer in college, but I must have quit at the right time, b/c it really sucks now.

This dentist office only accepts cash, and you have to pay them before they do the procedure. But it was kind of funny, b/c I was already novocained up when they asked for the money. I guess if I hadn't have had cash on me, they would have just kicked me out, but I would have gotten a free numb mouth out of the deal. I got a cavity filled ($75), and if I don't feel a toothache over the next week, then I won't need a root canal. The dentist was actually a pretty funny guy, and I'm not coughing up blood, so I think it went well. If you have cheap ass health insurance and like Jerry Springer, I highly recommend him.

We're back in business tonight at the Trocadero, as Jackass 2 will be playing. The action kicks off at 7:30 p.m. with the worst game show in America besides Deal or No Deal, the Wheel of Terrific, hosted by Chip Chantry and myself. And of course, the ridiculously sexy Marianne will be behind the bar. Hope to see you there!

"Pooh-pooh to the Boobs!" we were grinch-ish-ly humming.
They're finding out now that no Super Bowl's coming!
They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!
Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
Then all the Boobs down in Boobville will all cry BOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!"

And hey, TO, don't feel bad. Loan officers are really tough to get open against.

The New Year started with a bit of a whimper. I left Virginia sunsets like the one above to roll into Philly on Sunday, just in time to make it down to the Eagles game. It was fun, though they replaced their starters so it was sort of an exhibition. After the game, I was exhausted (sort of like Britney on New Years), so I headed home and was in bed by 10:30 p.m. I've never been that big on New Year's Eve anyway. I was pumped for the Mummers on New Year's day, but that was a washout, so I just watched a lot of football instead.

Enough about me, let's talk about quizzo. We got the New Year started on Tuesday at a surprisingly full O'Neals. January 2nd is usually the slowest day of the year, but you wouldn't have known it on 3rd and South. Dork Sided cruised into the New Year with an impressive performance, finishing with a 107 and edging Saddam's Last Dance by a single point..

Truman Capote once said, "In this profession, it's a long walk between drinks." Tis true, as I discovered in the December chill last week.

I knew my night would end up at Grace's to see my friend behind the tender bar there, but first I decided I would end my three year boycott against Chaucer's, a neighborhood pub located at 20th and Lombard. It is named for the great writer of the Canterbury tales, Geoffrey Chaucer. Chaucer's used to be a great place, oozing character with plants aplenty, free drinks for birthday patrons, and enough dollars bills taped to back bar mirror for the bartender, Jack, whose been pouring there for 26 years, "to start a retirement fund." But when the owner suddenly died and the place was sold to the owner of South Street Souvlaki, things started to change. Treasured employees left, the plants left, and a lot of the people that had been coming there for years left. But last night, I just got over it. Maybe it was Jack (who played Creedence all night and looked like a band member himself), or maybe it was my perfectly poured O'Reilly's stout. But, alas I will return, and I might even bring my beer club along with me.

Here comes my long walk. 'Twas spent scratchin' me noggin' on what to write about this week. I am actually so indecisive that my roomate bought me one of those Magic Eight Balls that you turn upside down to get a decision on whether or not you should like the boy sitting next to you in math class. It's been g-r-e-a-t. I just asked the brainy ball if I should go for a run today, "Outlook not so good." Perfect!

Do you think any couples in Seattle are making this offer for playoff tickets? Nooooooo.

As many of you know, I am currently coaching a little league basketball team. Well, we had a tourney following the first half of the season, and before the semis, I told the guys, "If we win the whole tournament, I'll take you guys out for pizza." One of the guys chimed in. "And Slurpees?" I told them that yes, also Slurpees. We won the semi-final game. In the finals, the team looked sluggish and tired, and we trailed in the 3rd quarter. I called timeout and the team dragged themselves over to the bench. I didn't say much. I just looked them in the eyes, and I asked, angrily, "Am I the only one around here who likes pizza?" Their eyes lit up. "I forgot about that!" said one of them. They stormed back out onto the floor, and won with a jump shot with 30 seconds left. We're going out for pizza on Saturday.

-I pulled the completely classless move of sneaking a few Doritos into my mouth last night at Doobie's while Ginger turned her head in disgust. I would like to apologize to Doobie's for my act. I promise to buy a burger at your bar soon to make up for my rudeness.

-This is off the freaking chain. You gots to peep this. I've watched and listened like 4 times. (SFW)

-I was one of those people who always thought that Supreme Court justices were boring old people who were way too normal. Then I read this on CNN.com. "A doctor was cited as saying that (William) Rehnquist, an associate justice of the Supreme Court at the time, tried to escape the hospital in his pajamas and imagined that the CIA was plotting against him." The Chief Justice was lurking in the shadows in his PJs (preferbly with a tin foil hat), trying to stop the CIA from carrying out their sinister plot! The Supreme Court rules! No pun intended!

-Historical geography of religion in 90 seconds. This is pretty awesome.

Here's a fun little site. It shows you how popular people's names are now, and how popular they were in the past. In other words, if you type in "Bertha" the graph peaks in like the 1920s and goes down to 0 today, while there were almost no "Madisons" 20 years ago but there are a ton today (Johnny peaked in the late 40s). So type in your name and see when it was "kool". The best part about it, though, is that it's called the "Baby Name Wizard NameVoyager", which is totally sweet. Enjoy!

At least some of your photos. I accidentally erased the Altar Boys and the Kingdom's photos before I realized I hadn't posted them yet. Damn! Anyways, pics are up of the other teams that won the week before Christmas. There are also pics of my Christmas vacation, which include me rocking the mic, my potential future wife, and us busting my mom lip synching.
Check out photos on Flickr.

The game between Boise State and Oklahoma was one of the greatest I've ever seen, and had possibly the greatest finish I've ever witnessed. The hook and ladder has always been my favorite play and I have used it at least once every time I play football. To use it on 4th and 18, then to run the QB in motion on 4th down so your running back could throw the football, then to run what wasn't really a Statue of Liberty but that's what everybody's calling it (I say we call it the Boise State Backhand) was more ballsy than any group of plays that I've seen a coach call ever. It was as if the coach not only wanted to win, but he wanted to win in style. So now the question, "Is this the way we should remember Boise State? Brilliant play calling, a thrilling finish, the RB proposing to his girlfriend? Or should we see what Boise could do against Florida or Ohio State?"
RELATED:Will Bunch at Attytood has a pretty interesting idea.

My New New Year's Resolution is to not talk about Anthony Dimeo for the remainder of 2007. I have a number of goals set for 2007, and he has nothing to do with any of them, so I am done with this thing we've had going for a couple of years. Of course, if he does something completely outrageous, I might have to reconsider.

After getting involved in the Big Brothers Big Sisters program in 2006, I realized that so many of the guys who play quizzo would make great role models for the young people of Philadelphia. Then, when I heard that there is a critical shortage of Big Brothers in the program (the waiting list for Little Brothers who want a positive male rodel is rather long), I felt the need to do something. (While we may look for more Big Sisters in the future, it was felt that right now the biggest demand is for men in the program.)

After meeting with several people from BBBS, we agreed on a reasonable goal: I want to get 100 males involved by the end of the year. Of course, it will be impossible without your help. I will have more details on the program and how you can get involved later in the week. This program has become an extremely positive part of my life in the past year, and I want it to be a positive part of yours as well.
RELATED: Big Brothers/Big Sisters of Southeastern Pennsylvania Website.

Dunno if you read the comment left under the Year in Review November, but I will quote it here, then offer my reaction. It is in reference to this:
Be advised that your above reference to Mr. DiMeo in the City Paper awards was done purely out of humor on the part of A.D. Amorosi of the Philly City Paper and was NOT actually part of the CP Awards. Thus the reason it was not published and only posted online.

Thank you.

To read Johnny's response, click below.

On January 3, 1987, who became the first woman ever inducted into the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame?

Mine are as follows:
1) Get better organized. That is my resolution every year, and it doesn't usually work out so well.
2) Get back into comedy, and record at least one rap song.
3) At some point during the year, have a date #2 (with the same person date #1 was with, if possible.)

And of course there is the one that I will be filling you in on shortly, since you will be helping me with it. Anyway, post your New Year's Resolutions below and I'll be back in the early afternoon.

• Daniel Boone scores with the ladies via a post on craigslist.
• The uproar with Fado Rory goes down on the website.

• I slept with your mother
• Tony! Toni! Tone!
• citizen turkey certificate

• Philadelphia jazz legend Nate Wiley dies at age 83.
• JGT gets voted Best Quizzo by the
• City Paper, while Anthony Dimeo gets voted Worst Party promoter.
• We discover JGT's favorite website of the year, hotchickwithdouchebags.com
• Beautiful women throughout the Delaware Valley openly sob when Johnny gets engaged.

• i'm a nazi philadelphia
• anna nicole smith-man?
• nicole richie eating
• eaten by zombies

• JGT screws up his rap at the 2nd annual Rock Paper Scissors Keystone Classic, then officially retires from the rap game.
• Johnny catches hell when he calls the Metro the best paper in Philly.
• Johnny does his infamous Rush Limbaugh round after the drug addict called Michael J. Fox a faker.

• these are the turkeys that nabbed my wife
• dogs herding sheep
• unicorns rock
• weird uses for Vaseline
• where to find street hookers in detroit
• what kind of birthday present is good for my friend johnny? (In case you were wondering, the correct answer is a Strip-O-gram.)

• Larry Mendte talks about ghosts.
• After an interview with anti-casino candidate Lindsay Doering, an excellent debate breaks out in the comments section about the viability of the coming casinoes. Really the best debate about this issue I've seen online.
• TO tries to kill himself. He probably would have succeeded, too, but he dropped several of the pills, despite being wide open.

• grand opening Applebees
• zestfully clean
• odds squirrel attack
• i am the second coming of Jesus Christ

• JGT encounters girl eerily similar to his ex-girlfriend.
• This very website was referenced in an article by Sports Illustrated. (It was an article about McNabb, and he quoted something Bernard Hopkins said in my interview with him).

• training a monkey
• intellectual whores
• spell assinine
• greased pole instructions
• head amputated