January 2006 Archives
Just found out i'll be interviewing Miss America tommorrow on the 10! show. This could get interesting.
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I caught some grief this past week for not honoring Mozart on his 250th birthday, which was this past Friday. But I'm now making up for it. I mean, hey, what greater honor is there than being a question of the week? So this week's question is: In what city was Mozart born?
The WTF, a team that was severely traumatized by Nipplegate two years ago and who won at the Black Shep last week, is begging ABC to run a 5 second tape delay for this year's game, so that nothing like that can ever happen again. "Listen, my son used to be the sweetest kid in the world," said Wolf Wolfington. "Then he saw Janet Jackson's boob, and now he tears the wings off of butterflies. The Bopper concurred. "Listen, I threw my copy of Rhythm Nation 1814 in the trash right after that happened. I got it back out a few minutes later to listen to Escapade, but still, I was pretty pissed."
Yes, the rumors are true. Johnny Goodtimes will be co-hosting NBC's 10! show on Wednesday (big ups to D-Mac for showing me a little love, which I think I kind of guilted him into after he didn't show up at Quizzo Bowl 2.) I have a meeting at 2:30 today to find out exactly what I'll be doing on said show. The real question is, what should I wear? Any suggestions? Should I bust the $6 tux back out for my tv appearance? (Also, it's probably totally illegal for me to post the above "wallpaper" without NBC 10's consent, and I will probably be sued by them shortly after hosting the show.)
The only thing as hot as Nate Wiley and the Crowd Pleasers at the World Cafe live on Sunday night was Where's You Ten Points Now( aka Where's Johnny, below), who got the first 47 questions correct in Quizzo Bowl 2 on their way to a second consecutive Quizzo Bowl victory. The team, who had been featured in a recent City Paper article, came in talking smack, and then completely backed it up, missing only the final question of regulation. Had they answered the 48th question correctly, they would have become only the second team in Johnny Goodtimes quizzo history to record a perfect score in a quizzo game. The only team to do so, The Sofa Kingdom, had come into last night's match up with high hopes, and were visibly shaken by their fourth place finish. The Kingdom won Beat the Champs in August fair and square, not even needing the ten point buffer.
The Cracked Eggheads (below) were one of only four teams to answer the final question correctly and the ten pointer thrusted them into second place. Who's Your Daddy (aka The Jams) could have actually pulled off the comeback victory had they gotten that question correct. They finished in third.
But the evening was about more than just questions and answers. The night began with the Philadelphia Bluegrass Band, who sounded terrific. It continued with Johnny coming out of retirement (for one night only!) to rap, audaciously sampling a Biggie Smalls beat to lay down, "I Love It When You Call Me Quiz Poppa." Then, following Round One, came what was for many the highlight of the evening. I'm not exactly a music afficianardo, but I've heard my fair share of live tunes, and I have yet to find conclusive proof that there is a better band in Philadelphia than Nate Wiley and the Crowd Pleasers. Their smooth soul sounds rocked the World Cafe Live throughout the evening. At halftime, Norm Klar appeared on stage, and did his unique and hilarious "Magic Show" which was distinctive for it's lack of successful magic tricks. The lovely Ginger assisted in prize giveaways and judging throughout the evening. Finally, I wanna give a shout out to local comedian Chip Chantry and my mom, who were the other two judges. All in all, I had a blast last night. I hope you guys did as well. Click below to find out how you team stacked up in the final standings, and feel free to provide your favorite (and least favorite) moments of Quizzo Bowl 2 in the comments section below.
Hey gang...Just want to thank all of you guys for coming out last night. I had a great time, and I really hope you did as well. I'll be back with a rap up and all of the scores a little later. First I gotta grab some breakfast with my mom and pops. Holla at ya soon!
Alright gang, well this is it. If you have team members who have not yet paid, please tell them to order their tickets online asap! That way, they are guaranteed a spot at your table. Tell them what you table number is, so they can order at the right table. Remember, max team size is eight. The schedule we will be following (loosely) is below. It is possible it could be a little off, but this is what we're aiming for. Also, after careful deliberation, Johnny Goodtimes has decided NOT to rap at tonight's event.
Quizzo Bowl Schedule
6:00 p.m. Doors Open
6:30 p.m. Philadelphia Bluegrass Band
7:00 p.m. Johnny comes on, Raps, explains rules
7:05 p.m. Round One Begins
7:20 p.m. Round One Ends , Nate Wiley Begins
7:35 p.m. Round Two Begins
7:50 p.m. Round Two Ends, Intermission
8:00 p.m. Magician
8:20 p.m. Magician Ends, Round Three begins
8:35 p.m. Round Three Ends, Nate Wiley Begins
8:50 p.m. Round Four Begins
9:05 p.m. Round Four Ends, Nate Wiley Begins
9:20 p.m. Winners Announced
9:30 p.m. Shows over
If you bought your team's tickets, but have extra players joining you, I highly advise your new teammates call today to reserve their seats! They are selling seats at tables that aren't filled, so be sure to call asap! 215-222-1400 x1 will get you the box office, and you can order your seats over the phone. They are gonna cost the same over the phone or in person tommorrow, $13, so make sure you get your seats today!!! The doors open at 6 p.m., and the show begins at 6:30 p.m. sharp. Quizzo will begin at 7:00 p.m. sharp. Don't follow Johnny's example and come strolling in 15 minutes late! I will not go back over the questions after round one once I am done reading them. Oh, and I got an email this morning that read, "We cure any desease!" Apparently, misspelling isn't a disease.
The Kommunity Kollege of Filadelphia was able to pull off a victory at the Bards on Tuesday night, thanks to a little help from new teammates Tomax and Xamot (read the link. It's really funny.) "Yeah, they really helped a lot," said Barnaby Braxton of the KKF. The two members of Cobra's Crimson Guard's plane had been shot down only moments earlier, but they had floated safely to earth via hang gliders. Braxton continued, "It was weird, when Tomax put a french fry in his mouth that was too hot, Xamot felt the pain. But hell, that's just how twins are, I guess."
Dork Sided pulled off the win at O'Neals on Tuesday, then started to get excited about the rumors swirling about the Phillies acquiring Mike Piazza. "Yeah," said Tony Toni! of the Dorks, "Finally the Phillies are investing in a designated hitter. It's about time. I think you plug him in the five spot and...what, they're in the National League? Well, then, what the hell do they want Mike Piazza for?"
Yes, there are some tickets left for Quizzo Bowl 2. I believe there are four tables left. Don't take a chance and wait until game day! Your tix are gonna cost the same either way, so order now to secure your team a spot! To order your tickets, click here. I know it says 7:00 p.m., but the show begins at 6:30 p.m., so be there then. Sorry I'm signing in so late, but I had a private gig this morning, and just got home. Still got a lot of preparing to do for QB 2, so I'll get the stories of this week's winners as soon as possible. Thanks-JGT
Keith Galle is the banjo player for the Philadelphia Bluegrass Band, who will be opening the show at Quizzo Bowl 2.
1) When did you start playing the banjo? Why the banjo?
7 years ago+-. Long story, short - Because guitar players are everywhere.
2) How long has the band been together?
3 years
3) What other types of music do you like?
Seriously...? Bulgarian Choir is my latest CD purchase.
4) What's the most embarrassing album you have in your collection?
Tom Scott - Reed My Lips
5) If you could have dinner with any two famous philadelphians, who would
they be and why?
Jim Coleman, because I like to eat and talk about food.
Maiken Scott, because she's interesting. (Scott is a radio producer at WHYY/FM. She promotes shows in the Philadelphia area and runs Surreal Sound.)
Today's City Paper has a write up about Quizzo Bowl 2. As if you needed any more ammo to hate on Where's Johnny and the Sofa Kingdom, they are featured in the article. Also, tickets sales to Quizzo Bowl 2 have started to take off. There is a pretty decent chance we could have a sell out. Therefore I encourage you to buy your tickets tonight at quizzo (Good Dog at 8, Bards at 10:15). Even if you don't play tonight, you can swing by and pick up tix. Otherwise, you can buy them online, although they are a little more expensive that way.
Marigold Kitchen, which has gotten a glowing reviews in the Philadelphia Weekly and in the City Paper, has been generous enough to give a $50 gift certificate to the cause, and it will be one of the prizes raffled off at Quizzo Bowl 2, in addition to these prizes we're already offering!
Johnny went outfit shopping for Quizzo Bowl 2 today, and let me just tell you this: I am advising all ladies to bring a cool, damp cloth to wipe off their foreheads, because when Johnny takes the stage, the temperature in the room is going to rise about 25-30 degrees. I am not bragging. This is simply a Public Service Announcement, so that we don't have a bunch of screaming, fainting females ruining the fun for everyone else.
Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous. You have got to read this site. Thanks to Bret for sending it to me.
Hey gang, I've got some really cool FREE stuff to raffle off at Quizzo Bowl 2. I have 10 complimentary passes to the Adventure Aquarium in Camden, which will include tickets to the 4-D Deep Sea Theater. I also am giving away four tickets to see the Arena Football League's Philadelphia Soul. I have four passes to the Franklin Institute, which each include a free ticket to see an IMAX. And Barrister's Bar and Grille is supplying a $50 gift certificate. Best of all, you don't have to be on the winning team to win any of this stuff, you just gotta be at Quizzo Bowl 2!
It has been firmly established at this time that Johnny will not be rapping at Quizzo Bowl 2. There is simply no chance of it. But if he did, what do you think he should rap? Any songs in particular you would have like to have heard Johnny rap? You won't hear him rap them, of course, because his rap career is over, and that is final. But it doesn't hurt to create hypotheticals, does it? Post below in comments you would have liked to have heard Johnny rap before he retired from the game.
What was discovered by James W. Marshall on January 24th, 1848?
Alright, here's some FAQ's regarding Quizzo Bowl 2:
Are all the questions going to be about the Super Bowl?
No, there will be very few questions about the Super Bowl. This is going to be a general quizzo, very similar to the usual quizzo, except with lots of prizes (I'l tell you tommorrow what they are), cash and glory for the winner, and two live bands and a magician.
How many players on a team?
Up to 8, same as usual. Though I'm sometimes lenient with teams of nine at regular quizzo, I will not be at this one. There would be picketers outside of future quizzoes if a team of nine won Quizzo Bowl.
What time should I show up?
Doors open at 6, and I would show up no later than 6:30 p.m. That's when the Philadelphia Bluegrass Band takes the stage.
What time do you think we'll be done?
I'm aiming to be done at 9:30 p.m., but it depends on the size of the crowd. We will be done no later than 10 p.m.
Will you be wearing a garish outfit for this event, Johnny?
Absolutely not. I will be dressed very conservatively.
Why would I bother attending this one, when I can just play for free anywhere else?
Because this is going to be unlike any quizzo you've ever been a part of. This, to me, is a huge party in which we bring together all of the quizzo teams from all the different bars around the city for one night a year. It is a celebration of our unique community, something found nowhere else in the country. There is no Quizzo Bowl in NYC, DC, or LA. I have tried hard to keep the ticket cost low and the entertainment value high. I honestly do not think you will find a better bargain for $10 in Philadelphia this year.
How much are tickets?
$10 if you buy them from me at quizzo or by going by the World Cafe Live before the day of the show. THye are $13 if you buy them online (due to processing fee) or on the day of the show.
Will you be rapping at this event, Johnny?
I can't believe you had the nerve to ask me that question. I have made it abundantly clear that my rapping days are done. No, I will absolutely, unequivacally NOT be rapping at this event.
A JGT quizzo regular is on the cover of today's Daily News! Alec Campbell of Inflatable Haggis got totally screwed by the Philadelphia Parking Authority, and his angst got him the kind of publicity Johnny has been desperately seeking for years! Alec will be signing copies of today's Daily News this Wednesday at the Black Sheep.
I can't decide which is more embarrassing, the comments made by a local Chief Inspector Joseph Fox, or the fact that the Inquirer even quoted this f****** idiot. In response to the rash of murders in Philadelphia, what was Fox's defense for the s*** job that he and his department do of solving the murders? Oh, it's the victim's fault. You see, the majority of the murders this past year were "bad guys on bad guys." Apparently every person who has ever spent a day in jail is a terrible human being, and deserves to be murdered. I can't f***** believe this jerk, a person who's mind sees things in the same way as a 4 year old child, is in a position of power. That, to me, is just as much of an embarrasment to this city as the murder rate.
Don't usually post on Sunday's but I wanna give a shout out to Sam Cooke on his 75th birthday. Sam Cooke is my favorite soul singer of all time. I have never heard the song, "Change is Gonna Come" without getting a chill down my spine. If you have not heard much Sam Cooke I implore you to run out and pick up a greatest hits album. You'll thank me for it.
The West Jersey Animal Shelter needs your help. I just saw this on another local blog, merecat. It appears that this no-kill shelter in Jersey is going to be shutting down temporarily to address some issues it was having with space. They need to find homes for 28 dogs or donations to help defray the costs of moving the dogs elsewhere. Spread the word!
Sand From the Beach won at the Bards on Thursday, then sang the praises of Dr. James Naismith, who made possible the first ever basketball game, on January 20, 1892. "Thank heavens for ol' Dr. Naismith," said Ralphie Roundball. Ralphie is apparently a big hoops fan. "Uh, no Johnny. I could give a s*** about the game itself. But without James Naismith, there could be no Kurtis Blow."
RELATED: Kurtis Blow costs Western Omelette contest back in '03.
RELATED: Kurtis Blow's son studying under the sensei to become an MC. Break it up, break it up, break it uuuuuup!
The Knee Stabbers edged the Axis of Evil Knieval at the Dawg Pound on Thursday night, then talked about the mixed emotions they had about Al-Quaeda leader Ayman Al-Zawahiri. "One the one hand, I hate this crazed son of a bitch and I hope he dies," said team member Sal Amanda Jackson. "On the other hand, I have to appreciate his use of the iambic pentameter. His aestehtics remind me of Wilder, but he maintains the romanticism of Yeats."
Big ups, big ups to Tom Curland and posse at the Bards on Thursday night. Thankfully it was Tom's birthday and all of his friends showed up, otherwise there would have been like six people playing last night. Where the hell was everybody? Anyways, neither Tom nor his friends won at quizzo, but I think they got something at the Bards last night that was more important than some silly bar trivia victory: they all got a kickass buzz.
Everyday Math edged the Rocket Scientists at the Black Sheep on Wednesday night, prompting Johnny to google "famous mathematicians". That was where he found this 8 year old power point presentation about Archimedes that he thinks was done by a middle schooler in Orlando (he was a middle schooler at the time. He's probably in college now.) Johnny is not sure if it is legal to link to a school project. He hopes it is.
The Phillies, who have made a number of exciting offseason moves recently, including a) getting rid of the best relief pitcher in baseball, and b) hiring a pitcher who loses two out of every three games even though he's on steroids, further excited their fan base on friday by announcing that they will be raising ticket prices. "We really think that we have got baseball fans in this city whipped up into such a frenzy that it seems like the perfect time to raise ticket prices," said Pat "Ed Wade" Gillick. "We plan on putting a sub-.500 team on the field this year, but we have a lot of exciting opponents who will be well worth the price of admission."
Norm Klar, who has opened for the likes of Tim Allen, Emo Phillips, and Soupy Sales, will be providing halftime entertainment at Quizzo Bowl 2! Klar, "The Man Who Does for Magic What Michael Jackson Does for Cosmetic Surgery", has made numerous appearances in Atlantic City, and will be appearing at the World Cafe Live exclusively for Quizzo Bowl 2. "I saw Klar's performance a couple of years ago, and it was so awesome that I thought of him when I was trying to figure out what to do for halftime a few weeks ago," said Goodtimes. "This is really a once in a lifetime opportunity for people in Philly to hear two of the best bands in town (the Philadelphia Bluegrass Band and Nate Wiley and the Crowd Pleasers) and see the best magician in town for only ten bucks a pop. Plus they'll have the opportunity to win $450 in cash and lots of prizes. This is going to be an absolutely incredible event."
A tussle broke out at the Vous on Wednesday, as the Jams took issue with a group of scientists who are trying to prove Einstein's E=mc squared theory wrong, and before you knew it. The Jams, die hard Einstein fans all, jumped the group of young scientists moments after the above photo was taken. "They had it coming, with all their holier than Albert pish posh," said Jammer Mike McMichaelson. The fight ended with Mike picking up one of the scientists, throwing him out the window, and yelling, "E=mc you later, punk!"
The Microsoft Plaintiffs won an extremely narrow victory at the Bards on Tuesday night,edging out the Sofa Kingdom, 99-98. But after the match, their joy turned to despair when they were consumed whole by a giant jellyfish. "This is nothing short of a tragedy," said Goodtimes. " I mean, we knew these giant jellyfish were in Japan, but we had no idea that they would migrate all the way to Philadelphia, much less adapt to life on land." Added grief stricken bartender Kevin, "The jellyfish ate them before they paid their bill. I get that s*** taken out of my paycheck. Damn giant jellyfish!"
The Young, the Old, and the Restless won at O'Neals on Tuesday, then revealed the secret to their success. "Yeah, we're all wearing P. Diddy's new fragrance," said Thad Butterscotch of the Restless. "The fragrance is Unforgivable, just like Diddy's career."
Another day, another docket for Philadelphia's favorite blueberry heir, as Anthony "Hold" Dimeo has decided to take Le Jardin restauranter Athmane Kabir to court following the disastrous New Year's Eve party at Le Jardin. DiMeo, who first came to fame for suing Jessica Pressler of the Philadelphia Weekly, claims that "Mr. Kabir bit off more than he could chew." During the melee that ensued during the disastrous party, a local artist named Antonio Puri had two paintings stolen. To learn more about the Delaware Valley's first family of blueberries, click here.
Now, I am not by any stretch of the imagination a huge hockey fan, but I gotta admit, I was pretty floored when I saw this shot. Whether or not you like hockey, just check this out (and wait to see the replays). It's pretty damn impressive.
The Philadelphia Bluegrass Band has signed on to join the festivities at Quizzo Bowl 2, and will opening the show! "I am exremely excited to have one of the most popular bluegrass bands in Philly opening Quizzo Bowl 2," said Johnny Goodtimes from his yacht in the Meditteranean. "I try to find new and different kinds of music for each of the big events, and I think that these guys and Nate Wiley together are going to make for a night of not only great quizzo, but of outstanding music as well." Tickets to Quizzo Bowl 2 can be purchased from Johnny at quizzo for $10, or ordered online by clicking here. Maximum team size for the event is eight.
Wow, those Russians sure don't mince words. Here the leader of the Democratic Party in Russia gives his view of Condoleeza Rice, basically saying that she has no sense of reason because she's never been married and has no children, thus making her insane. This is an amazingly hilarious psychological profile. Damn those Democrats! Thanks to Jam Master Shawn for sending this in.
Couple of interesting thoughts brought up while talking over a beer with a buddy of mine after quizzo last night. I told him that I had watched Hitler: Tyrant of Terror on the History Channel earlier in the day. First of all, he said, "What if Hitler has a relative who ever comes forward to claim royalties off of all the Hitler shows they air? They're not going to be able to sustain the station. They're gonna owe this guy a lot of money." Then the topic turned to one I've had numerous times before. Why is it that Hitler, who killed 6 million of his fellow countrymen in death camps, is held up to be the most evil man of the 20th century, while Stalin, who killed 20 million of his own countrymen in death camps, not considered the most evil? Is it because we realize that victory in the European theatre would not have been possible without Stalin's help, and we were fighting Hitler in that war? Is it because, at the time, the concept of a bunch of dead Russians wasn't all that bad of a thought? Or is it because Stalin looked like our sweet old grandpa, while Hitler looked like some sort of backwoods sheep solicitor? Is it worse to kill one particular group of people than to kill any random person who pisses you off?
Now, before you get your panties in a bunch, don't read this as a freaking endorsement of Hitler. He was a sick, twisted bastard, and he deserves all the villification he gets. I'm just wondering why Stalin doesn't get the same treatment .
RELATED: Who was worse, Hitler or Stalin?
RELATED: 16 dictators battle it out to find out who was the most evil.
The Great Brinks robbery happened on January 17th, 1950. In what city did it take place?
Philly's favorite homie, Ben Franklin, turns 300 today. Here's everything you need to know about the baddest dude to ever rock the illadelph.
Here's a really good bio of Franklin, not too long and not too short.
Here's some Franklin quizzes I did last week: Who said it, Franklin or Confucius? And here's a regular quiz on Franklin.
Here is a write up about Franklin's famous(and not so famous) inventions.
Here's some of Ben's maxims.
Nate Wiley and the Crowd Pleasers are back, and will be filling the World Cafe Live with their sweet jazz and blues sounds during Quizzo Bowl 2. "They were a huge hit the first time around, and when I did a poll on the website asking if people wanted them back for Quizzo Bowl 2, over 90% of respondants said yes. So this was a no brainer." Johnny added that he has also added an act for halftime that he will be revealing later. Tickets for Quizzo Bowl 2 are available by either clicking here or by attending one of JGT's quizzoes this week, where he will be selling them for only $10 a pop.
RELATED: City Paper article about Nate WIley and the Crowd Pleasers.
I saw that only 14% of white americans plan to observe Martin Luther King's holiday. Well, that's unfortunate, though let's be honest, it's not like we sit around and think about George Washington all day on presidents day. I think it has more to do with us as Americans being so focused on the future that we tend to think that thinking about the past is a waste of valuable time. But I do suggest you take just a few minutes today to reflect on a man who was as flawed as the rest of us, but who was willing to risk and ultimately sacrifice his life for a beautiful ideal. And I dare you to listen to the "I have a Dream speech" and not tear up a little bit.
Related: Video of his famous speeches.
Transcript of his "I Have a Dream Speech"
Learn more about Martin Luther King
Some great Martin Luther King quotes. Check these out. There are some really great ones.
By now, everybody knows that Colt cornerback Nick Harper was stabbed in his knee by his wife. According to her, it was an accident. Now I have been in arguments with signifigant others. Plenty of them. And I don't ever remember one time where, during the course of the argument, somebody might have been accidentally stabbed in the knee. But apparently I'm the only one: "What makes this different is who this person is," the sheriff, quoted by the Star, said. "These things happen every day." People are accidentally stabbed in the knee every day???? Where are the anti-knife coalitions? Where is the outrage?
Speaking of outrage, the referee overturn of Poliamalu's interception in the fourth quarter of the Colts game was an absolute joke. In fact, it was such a bad call, it made those of us who have been around gamblers at least a little bit suspicious. It also made the Steeler's Joey Porter suspicious, as he said that the refs cheated the Steelers. And he's absolutely right. And this play came only a few plays after the refs called, for the first time in NFL history, a "do over". They couldn't figure out which team had jumped offsides, so they literally just pretended like it never happened. It was amazing.
About friggin' time, but I just added a bunch of 100 pointers. If your team got 100 (and won) and does not appear, please let me know and I will get you in the club.
I'm heading out to go see the McCarthy movie, but here are a few final things. First of all tickets are selling exceptionally well. In the first three days, over 60 tix were sold, and numerous teams are putting their teamas together and still plan to buy, so I think we'll have a great crowd. And yes, things will move more swiftly than in Quizzo Bowl One. I am still in negotiations with a few different acts for a halftime show. That includes the infamous Killdozer, Jr., who sent me this unprovoked e-mail a few days ago.
Dear Johnny Goodtimes,
I graciously accept your offer to perform at Quizzo
Bowl II.
You probably will not regret this decision.
Thank you.
Killdozer Jr. (Acoustic)
Finally, we need a good slang term for Benjamin Franklin in the Urban Slang Dictionary. The ones they have so far are kind of weak. See what you can do.
The Sofa Kingdom pulled off another win at the Bards on Thursday night, then officially started the Quizzo Bowl smack talking. "I hear tickets are selling pretty well so far. That's good, because I want there to be a packed house when we collect our trophy," said Koob Lover of the champs of, uh, Beat the Champs and 2nd place finshers at Quizzo Bowl One. "I would encourage teams to attend, because the coronation of ourselves is going to be quite a sight to see," added Nate Fairchild. The team added that they guessed that the World Cafe was cool, but they wished it could be held at the New Deck.
MAGMA won for the third time in three tries at the Dog on Thursday, but the victory did little to lift their spirits. "I can't believe Brad didn't call Jennifer to let her know that Angelina was pregnant," said Arlen Spectator of MAGMA. "That is just disrespectful. I don't know what's gotten into him. I used to feel like I knew him. Now I'm just not sure."
RELATED: Angelina getting blasted on Aniston message board. Jolie backers fight back. I just hope nobody gets hurt! OK, yes I do.
The whole mess started when she told him not to do that pay per view concert. Now she wants a divorce.
This from the AP report on the Hasselhoff split: He also starred in the 1980s TV series "Knight Rider," in which his character, Michael Knight, teamed with a talking Pontiac Trans Am sports car to fight crime.
That sentence, taken on it's own, makes the premise of the show sound ridiculous. But those of us who were seven years old when the coolest thing our brains could have possibly conceived was a "crime fighting talking car" realize that nothing could be further from the truth. That show ruled.
FROM THE ARCHIVES: So does this Hasslehoff-KITT video. You are going to love it. Trust me.
RELATED: Did David Hasselhoff end the Cold War and single handedly reunite East and West Germany? He thinks so.
The Satan's MInions won at the Black Sheep on Wednesday, edging a newly revitalized WTF crew. The Minions weren't entirely pleased, however. "How come quizzo can't get the respect the Chicken Dance gets?" asked Daz Dawg of the Minions. "They get front page coverage for setting a record that doesn't even exist, and all we get is a freaking picture on some two bit website. Screw quizzo, I'm gonna learn how to play accordion. That's where the glory is."
The Flexible Catheters brought along a Ben Franklin expert to quizzo on Wednesday night, and it paid off, as they scored the second most points in quizzo history, 117. In fact, the only question the team missed, "Did Peter the Great become the leader of Russia before or after 1706", they scratched out before (the correct answer) and put after. Peter the Great, though a fan of Westernization, was happy to see that he had thwarted the Americans. "I think this proves once and for all who the true superpower is," said the King, who is currently fighting off a Swedish army led by Charles XII.
OK, so I'm two days late on this, but nobody is really sure when he was born anyway, so who cares. Regardless, I am a huge Rasputin fan. His story is so unbelievable that it's hard to believe it's true. This filthy peasant religious man supposedly helps the young prince's hemophilia, so the royal couple keeps him around the Royal Palace. They can't let out why he's there, because they don't want the prince to be perceived as weak. So the citizens of Russia are like, "Why in the hell is there some bum chilling at the Royal Palace?" Not only is he a bum, but he's banging all the upper class babes in town, raising the ire of the upper class. It is said that his eyes transfix women, but if this display at a St. Petersburg shows us anything, it's that it was his monster hog that drove the babes wild (Warning, if anyone at work sees you looking at that link, there are going to be a lot of questions asked). He was also a wild partier, getting wasted, acting inappropriate in public, and picking up hookers. He was unquestionably a black eye on the Royal Family, and with the Czars approval rating hovering even lower than Bush's, a member of his family decided to act. The cross dressing Prince Felix Yussopov tried to kill Rasputin, but this proved exceedingly difficult. Or did it? New evidence shows that Rasputin wasn't as hard to kill as previously believed, and that he was actually killed by the British, who were scared that Rasputin would convince the Tsar to pull out of WW One, gravely hurting their cause.
Related: Original press release concerning Rasputin's death.
Below: Grigs kicks it with some honeys.
Didn't get anything done on the site today because I was out thrift store shopping. Let's just put it this way: last place just got even better.
Here is where we currently stand, just so everyone is aware. Quizzo Bowl 2 will be taking place at World Cafe Live (3025 Walnut Street) on Sunday, January 29th. The doors open at 6, the opening act will go on at 6:30, and the quizzo will begin at 7:00 p.m. We aim to have the show completed by 9:45 p.m., though we ain't making no guarantees. The show we had last January was a blast, the one we had in August was even better, and I expect this to be even better than that. The legendary Nate Wiley and the Crowd Pleasers will be providing between round entertainment. If you have not seen these guys, you simply have to go to Quizzo Bowl 2. I am still in talks with various entities regarding the halftime show. I will make you aware as soon as I ink a deal. There is almost no chance that Johnny will be performing a rap at this event. His rap days are done.
Tickets are $10 if you buy them from Johnny, who has them on him at quizzo, or $13 if you buy them online. That is because there is a processing fee for online purchases. I am selling seats on the first two rows, so if you wanna front row seat, buy your tix soon. They have already started selling. The prizes for first and second are the same as last year. $300 for first, $150 for 2nd. The reason I didn't raise ticket prices and offer a bigger cash bonus? I was scared that a price raise would scare off the heart and soul of this operation, which consists of people who are in it more for the fun than the glory. I want those people to have an affordable evening of good music, good food, and of course Goodtimes. And yes, I think that $300 cash (and untold glory) still makes it worthwhile for those teams who have a legitimate shot at winning. In addition, there are going to be a bunch of other prizes offered throughout the evening. I really think that this is going to be an unforgettable event, and I look forward to seeing you all there! If you have any questions at all about Quizzo Bowl, feel free to leave them in the comments section below or send me an email.
Aquaman won in overtime over the Sofa Kingdom at the Bards on Tuesday night, then refuted rumors that their namesake was gay. "Aquaman is not gay," said Brock Turlington. "Just because you can speak to fish and stuff doesn't mean you enjoy the pleasure of other men." Added Lance Hilldebrandt, "Don't get us wrong, we'd still love Aquaman if he were gay." Said Brock, "Even though he's not. He's very straight." Said Lance, "I saw Brokeback Mountain. Loved it. Got no problem with gays. But Aquaman is simply not gay. " Remarked Brock, "Listen, the Justice League's heyday was a different time in America. I doubt that they would have accepted Aquaman had he been gay. I'm not defending that stance, I'm just saying that that's how things were back then." Lance concurred. "I'm sure, in 2005, the Justice League would welcome Aquaman if he were gay. Which he's not. But things were different back then. It's not the Justice League's fault. They were just a product of the times."
The Young, the Old and the Restless won at O'Neals on Tuesday night, but were appalled when, after the contest, they read their latest issue of Vanity Fair. "What?," asked Otis Wingate. "They are trying to make Lindsay Lohan look like some sort of bulimic coke whore in this piece. That's outrageous! I mean, just look at the photo of her with Nicole Richie (below). Does that look like a couple of cokehead bulimics to you? I think not."
This from Dan Gross's column today:
Trattoria Prima Donna (1508 Spruce) was star-studded Monday night when dining at separate tables were former Eagles wideout Freddie Mitchell, "Rocky Balboa" actor Burt Young, and Jerry Blavat.
You know you're in Philly when a "star studded evening" consists of a crappy former wide receiver who probably couldn't land a job with the Soul, "Uncle Paulie", and the Geator with the Heater (no offense to the Geator, of course). I guess Gervase couldn't make it. God, I love this town.
The play I am giving tickets away to is called Ben Franklin: Unplugged, and it is currently showing at 1714 Delancey Street in the Plays and Players Theatre. It is a one man show, written and performed by Josh Kornbluth. Here's the Washington Post's review of the play. It looks pretty good.
...on craigslist and thought you all might enjoy it. I'm assuming the pup was ok upon landing.
Well, I'm about a week late on the whole O'Reilly-Letterman thing, but that's because, uh, I've been uh, drinking. Anyways, if you've missed it too, here is the video of the battle. And here's a piece in People magazine about it. Because People magazine is a publication you can trust. Of course, O'Reilly didn't get served by Letterman the way he got served by Donahue a few months ago. This one is much more heated. To me, it's not O'Reilly's politics that piss me off. It's his schwarmy "I used to work for Inside Edition so you can trust me" attitude, and that "the louder I scream, the more you can trust me". Of course that is precisely what makes him and Limbaugh and Hannity (and Jim Rome, for that matter) so succesful.
That's right, gang. We're going to be celebrating Ben Franklin this week by asking multiple (but not all) Franklin questions, and by giving away two tickets at every quizzo to the Philadelphia Theatre Company's upcoming production of Ben Franklin: Unplugged! This is all in honor of Franklin's Upcoming 300th birthday.
How old was Ben Franklin when he moved to Philly?
Tickets for the quizzo event of the year go on sale today at 3 p.m. on the World Cafe Live website, and tonight at Sports Quizzo! Due to a processing fee, they will be more expensive ($13) if you buy them online. However, if you buy them from me, they will be the same price as last year, $10. I will have tickets on me tonight at sports quizzo and at all of my quizzoes throughout the week. The tables will be first come, first serve, so the earlier you buy a ticket, the better your chances of picking out whatever seat you want. There will be more info about QB 2 on the site tommorrow.
Tonight's da night, as Johnny will be hosting sports quizzo at Barrister's (1823 Sansom). The bar will be featuring $2 Lagers and $2 Miller Lites. I also suggest you bring an appetite. The food there is really good. Max team size is 5! Yeah, maybe that's a bummer, but it's due to the seating configuration in there. If you already had eight, just bring 'em and split up into two teams. No problem. Hope to see you tonight!
Ok, Ok, fair enough, so we raised that money the week before Christmas for the Emergency Utility Relief Fund, and I finally counted it up today. I'm a loser. I'll send the check out on Monday. We raised a total of $237, which is pretty awesome. While I wish that part of the money raised could go toward turning off the heat of the people who run PGW, I find plenty of consolation in the fact that we are going to help some people keep their heat on. Thanks again for your help in this matter, and we'll do it again soon.
After a performance on Tuesday that Johnny Goodtimes said, "Tainted the sport of quizzo", the Sofa Kingdom was banished to a nearby Irish village for Thursday's game. "I don't want some 2nd rate quizzo team taking up space in the good seats," explained the quizmaster. But the Kingdom put in a first rate performance, and came away with a victory that silenced their critics, at least for now.
The Axis of Evil Knieval was able to hold on for a close win at the Dog on Thursday, then tried to find a way to keep "pope squatting" in the lexicon. The term was recently voted 2005 term least likely to succeed by a group of linguist, who apparently have nothing better to do than discuss the future of terms like "pope squatting". Said team member Denise Hemingway, "We really need to keep this term around. Maybe we could get this Pope to play catcher on the Vatican softball team, thus becoming a pope squatter." Added teammate Procter Jackson, "He's probably better than Lieberthal."
The legendary WTF won at the Black Sheep on Wednesday, then talked about how excited they were about former Arkansas governor Orval Faubus's birthday. "Listen," said Wolf "The Wolf" Wolfington, "I don't know much about this Orval Faubus character, but I do know that his name was Orval Faubus, and I just love saying it." Added the Bopper, "Orval Faubus, Orval Faubus, Orval Faubus. That just never gets old." Orval Faubus would be 97 today.
The rumors are true! No, not the ones about me and the stripper with scurvy (seriously, those are only rumors. You can't prove anything!). The ones about Quizzo Bowl 2. Though details are still a bit sketchy, here is the next nugget of information I can give out. It will be held on January 29th at the World Cafe Live. I will let you know ticketing info on Monday, so check back then.
The Jams won at the Vous on Wednesday night, then gave Pat Robertson their wholehearted endorsement. Robertson, who said that Ariel Sharon had a stroke b/c he was cooperating with the Palestinians and had angered God. "Yeah, you can ask any medical doctor, and they'll tell you that most strokes are caused by pissing off God," said Raul Asegway of the Jams. "If you don't know that, it's b/c the left wing media is covering it up." Asegway went on to say that Lou Rawls had died because he had performed "Satan's music", and his death was payback by a vengeful God. Johnny hopes Robertson gets hit by a bus.
Proving that the whole Men's Health Fittest/Fattest issue is a complete mockery which consists of like three writers just pulling cities out of a hat, Baltimore was named the fittest city in America. But what was even more shocking was that Philly did not even make the 10 fattest cities, only a year after finishing 2nd fattest. I was surprised b/c I have personally hurt the team by gaining weight since last January. I guess it was that influx of healthy New Yorkers into our little borough that has pulled us up by the bootstraps. Thank you, New York!
Longstreet pulled off a blowout win at the Bards on Tuesday, while the Kingdom finished with a measly 69 points, embarrassing both themselves and their immediate families. Luge Tech, below, entered the final round with 16 points, but outscored the Kingdom in Rund Four, 24-23, giving me a totally legitimate excuse to put them on the website.
After Johnny asked the question, "On what holiday did an earthquake strike Alaska in 1964?", many of the teams were not happy with the answer (Good Friday). "Good Friday is a religious observance, not a holiday," they said. But the winners, Dork Sided, disagreed. "Are you kidding me, Good Friday is one of the biggest party days of the year," said Mookie Mayweather. "Hey guys, remember last year when we went out to Vegas to celebrate Good Friday? Man, we got wasted. I just wish there were more Good Friday carols."
Anybody got access to video equipment and video editing equipment? I need to make like a 5 minute tape. I can pay some, but not a fortune, and it should be pretty fun to make. Please contact me if you have any connections.
This from philly.com:
The Phillies made a move to bolster their starting rotation, agreeing to terms with right-handed pitcher Ryan Franklin on Thursday, pending a physical. Franklin, who was suspended 10 days after testing positive for a steroid, went 8-15 with a 5.10 ERA in 190 2-3 innings with Seattle last season.
Wait, did you just say "bolster their starting rotation" with a pitcher who has a winning percentage of .347 while he's on the juice? Can you imagine how awful this guy is gonna be once he kicks the habit? There's more:
While Franklin has won at least 10 games only once, he was durable for the Mariners, making 94 starts with six complete games over the last three seasons. He also pitched over 200 innings in 2003 and 2004.
What??? He's durable? Oh, gee whiz that's great. I would hate for him to lose 2 out of every 3 games for only part of the season and then go out with an injury. This way, we're gonna get to watch him lose all year long!! That's like saying, "The Eagles may have finished 6-10 this season, but they fielded a team for all 16 games, playing each and every one for the full 60 minutes. What durability!"
A.D. Amorosi (above) is a media overlord who works as a contributing editor at Philadelphia Inquirer/Knight Ridder, a music writer/art hag/gossipy column bitch at CityPaper, an arts&fashion editor at Edge, a senior editor at Mean and Chord, a contributor to Pitchfork and NYPress.
And along with his on-air weekly duties at NBC 10 TV's morning show,10!, he can be seen hosting/booking and spinning every Monday night at Bar Noir, every Friday night at Glam, and lots of inbetweenie well-paid DJ gigs.
1. If you could have dinner with any 2 Philly celebrities of the past, who would they be and why?
Frank Rizzo. Because he was a people person.
Howard Eskin. Oh. Wait. he's not dead? Wishful thinking.
2. What musical artist or song do you have in your collection that you are a little bit ashamed of?
Nirvana.
3. What would be your dream job?
Being me. That would be so great for me. If you have a contact, I'd surely appreciate it. I hear I'm as a****** to talk to. And that you have to blow me for any sortofa favor.
4. What's are your favorite hip-hop groups of all time?
A Tribe Called Quest, the Last Poets, the Band.
5. Who is your favorite US president of all time?
Abraham Lincoln: such a queen.
I mean, this story about the infamous New Year's Eve party just will not go away. It started with our good friends at NBC, gathered some steam in the Metro, and today made it all the way to the Inquirer. The organizer of the event, Anthony Dimeo, is currently being blasted on the Tucker Maxx message board. Dimeo, of course, is best known for suing Jessica Pressler at the Philadelphia Weekly.
That game last night was one of the most incredible I have ever seen. I remember hearing that Vince Young was seriously pissed about not winning the Heisman, and thinking, "This guy is out of his mind if he thinks he's even close to Reggie Bush." Well, for a night at least, he was even better. Somebody said last night, "Man, that Penn State game was one you hated to see one team lose." I said, "Actually, it was one I hated to see either team win." It was close, but it was sloppy. The Texas-USC game was one you actually hated to see a team lose. I have watched literally hundreds and hundreds of football games in my life, and I don't remember seeing a second half as exciting as that one, at least not in a game of this importance, since the Bills made that comeback against the Oilers. This is one of those rare games where you will always remember where you were and who you were with when you saw it.
Related: Sports Guys hilarious recap of the game. Best line: How can you be white with the name Mack Brown?
(Note: I have just added Part Two of the set list. It is directly below part one.)
A guy on Dork Sided at O'Neals had a kool idea last week. He said, "Why don't you post your set lists on the website sometimes?" So I think I might occasionally post a list of the songs I play between rounds of quizzo and give you a few facts about some of the performers. The following is my set list from the Bards last night.
Big Rock Candy Mountain: A strange starter. It was a quiet night last night, and I was feeling kind of mellow. The song was originally recorded in 1928 by Harry "Haywire Mac" McClintock.
Black Dog by Led Zeppelin: I was, like everybody else in the known world, a pretty big fan of Led Zep in high school. Don't play much of 'em at quizzo, but came across this on the ipod and it seemed like a good call. Black Dog is a slang term for clinical depression.
How Many MCs Must Get Dissed? by Black Moon: This group's debut album, Enta da Stage, released in 1992, is considered a classic. An actual Black moon occurs when there is no new moon in a calendar month. The next one will occur in February 2014.
But wait, there's more! Click below to continue reading.
Alright, here's the rest of the songs I played at Bards last night.
Hard to Handle by Etta James: This song was originally recorded by Otis Redding, but wasn't released until after his death. Etta James is, of course, best known for her song, "At Last".
DWYCK by Gangstarr with Nice and Smooth: Gangstarr has long been a legend in the underground hip hop scene, and gained some fans outside of hip-hop with his Jazzmattazz albums. On this song he is joined by two guys with nice voices but laughingly awful lyrics. Perhaps the most unintentionally hilarious rap line ever comes from Smooth B in this song: Like a rhinoceros, my speed is prosperous. And pure knowledge expands from my esophagus This marks the only time in hip hop history someone has rhymed rhinoceros and esophagus.
Johnny will be hosting a sports only quizzo on Monday, January 9th, 8 PM at Barrister's Bar and Grille (1823 Sansom), the newest sports bar in Philly. The winning team will walk away with a $50 gift certificate, and second place will get a $30 gift certificate. Yuengling and Miller Lite drafts will be $2. I've been wanting to do this for a long time, and I think it's gonna be a lot of fun. I also think you're really gonna like this bar, if you haven't checked it out already. The food is really good, the staff is really friendly, and they've got five flat screens.
I wouldn't make plans, if I were you, for Sunday, January 29th. Might wanna leave that one open on the calendar. I'm just saying, is all.
What Philadelphia restaurant had a disastrous New Year's Eve party in which they ran out of booze at 9:30 p.m., and people started throwing bottles and stealing artwork before the cops showed up?
Rival quizmaster and occasional quizzo player John K. will be producing a play that's going to be appearing at the Adrienne(2030 Sansom) this week. If you get a chance, check it out.
"The Distance From Here," by Neil LaBute, is dark, funny, nihilistic entertainment. Basically what you'd expect from a show Stephen and I produce. We've got a fantastic young cast and this one is going to blow you right out of the seats. And it's the Philadelphia premiere (our first) so that's pretty neat too.
To read more about the play and to order tix, click here. If you enter the code "jgt" when you check out, you get your tix for only $10!
Inflatable Haggis won at Black Sheep on Wednesday, but the win did little to raise their spirits. "New Years is simply a marking of the sands thru the hourglass, a realization that I am a year older, not a penny richer, and a little closer to my inevitable demise," said Meg Hemingway. Added Alec Chunky, "2005 was a year of broken promises, mistakes at work, and lots of uninteresting people met while speed dating. The good news is, 2006 really can't be any worse, especially if Philly gets a Planet Hollywood with nickel slots."
Team Gossamer won a close one at the Bards on Thursday, then made a startling resolution: that they were going to try to participate in more self destructive behavior in 2006. "Yeah," said Eleanor Bartleby, "I feel like I've been practicing far too much restraint in the past several years. It's time to let loose. Expect to see me engaging in a lot of high risk behavior-drinking lots of corn whiskey, possibly dabbling in prescription strength pain killers, hooking up with guys with lengthy criminal records. I also plan on developing an addiction to glue and investing lots of my money in pyramid schemes."
Not Clever Enough blew out the competition at the Good Dog on Thursday night, winning with 107 points, then vowed that in 2006, "We'll be spending a LOT of time at Applebee's, opening soon across the street from Good Dog," said Pyrex Henderson. "My New Year's Resolution in 2005 was to spend more time at Chili's, and trust you/me, I've eaten enough Baby Back Ribs to sink a battleship. I'm looking forward to eatin' good in the neighborhood in 2006!"
The Jams won on Wednesday at the Rendezvous, then vowed to singlehandedly get Ed Wade fired in 2006. "Come on, this just simply isn't working out," said Dougie Douglas of the Jams. "We've given Ed Wade eight full years to turn this thing around, and he just hasn't...what? They did? Oh, uh, then I guess my resolution is to try to eat more vegetables or something."
The Sofa Kingdom won at the Bards on Tuesday, then told Johnny to expect to see less of them in 2006. "Yeah, we're kind of sick of this ramshackle quizzo, with it's antiquated scoring system and it's lack of running water," said Catbird Wallace. "Nope, this 'Johnny Goodtimes Quizzo' is sooooooo 2005. The New Deck is the only acceptable quizzo in 2006."
Related: New Deck Quizzo Rules!!!
Dork Sided Won at O'Neals on Tuesday night, then spoke about their New Year's Resolution: to utilize the spork more. "Yeah, I've gotten in the habit of either using a fork or a spoon," said Mookie Mayweather of the Dorks. "I need to recognize how much easier my life would be if I used an implement that utilized the functionality of both of those implements: the grabbing of the fork with the lifting capabilies of the spoon. I'll be able to eat more efficiently, leaving me time for my other hobbies, like pottery and stamps."
Related: The official spork website, which has not been updated since 1996.
