August 2005 Archives

Hye guys, kind of slacked on the site today. Had a private gig and then was captivated by news from NO. But on tommorrow and Friday, I'll be back at it. As some of you know, I played against AI in high school. I had a buddy that played in the same league email me out of the blue the other day. I asked him if he could provide his recollection of the day I covered AI. He obliged. I'll have that posted on Friday. Also, history was made on Tuesday night at the Bards. More on that soon.

Hey gang, I'm gonna be charging a buck to play quizzo for the rest of this week, and probably next week as well. 100% of the proceeds will be going to the American Red Cross to aid with the epic disaster in New Orleans. We were able to raise $250 for Africa in July, and I hope we can raise even more this time. By the way, I've been meaning to post the letter I received from Action Against Hunger after we donated that money. If you would like to read the letter I received thanking us for our donation, read below.

I was watching FOXNews last night to see the coverage of Katrina. There were several guys at a table, talking about how the rest of the country shouldn't be responsible for something that happens in the south. "This is the price they pay for living in paradise. Why should a person who shovels their driveway all winter have to take care of person who took a chance by living in a place that they know has hurricanes?" The argument was that our tax dollars shouldn't be used to bail out New Orleans. What??? Should we just use 100% of our tax dollars for killing people and none for helping people? War good...Helping Fellow Man bad. Is this really how conservatives think, or was this just an aberration? That wasn't even the most ridiculous thing I saw on the news last night. On MSNBC, they had one of their shows "Coming to you live from Aruba, where there have been some major developments in the Natalee Holloway case." Are you serious? What are you guys gonna do next? "Bummer about that hurricane, but we're coming to you live from Havana, where there have been some major developments in the Elian Gonzalez case." Meanwhile the storm gives us ample opportunity to revisit an old debate, as some scientists think that global warming had something to do with Katrina's intensity. Here's an interesting piece in attytood about the federal government cutting funds in hurricane budgets, at least partially to ensure their tax cuts. Looking to help? Here's where you can send money and volunteer your time.

It has been a banner week for the Sofa Kingdom, who won at the Bards on Thursday before pulling off a big victory at the World Cafe Live on Sunday. But the real excitement came when Hendrikje van Andel-Schipper (below) died Tuesday, opening the door for their good friend Elizabeth Bolden to become the oldest person in the world. "Sweet!" said team member Scoob Henderson. "Liz has wanted this for so long, but that b**** in the Netherlands was denying Liz her moment in the sun with all of her breathing and functioning organs. To be honest, I thought we might have to take her out ourselves. I'm glad that we didn't have to resort to violence to get our friend in the record books." Henderson added that he has nothing against the Dutch, he just didn't like Andel-Schipper's attitude.
Related: World's Oldest Man Plays Quizzo

The Venezuelan Dictators won at the Good Dog on Thursday night, then shot Suge Knight. "It was an accident," said primary shooter Graham "More Than a Feeling" Blair. "We were trying to shoot Diddy." Johnny, realizing how large and mean Suge Knight is, sent his condolences almost immediately. "This is nothing short of a tragedy. Suge is such a teddy bear, except for when he's holding people over ledges or having them assassinated, Pat Robertson style. You just hate to see this happen to such a fine, upstanding American citizen."

Lance Armstrong and the Dirty Urine Samples pulled off a major upset at the Black Sheep on Wednesday, knocking off the Missing Heads. Only later did the Samples reveal their secret weapon: thay had rented Germans to do their dirty work! The JGT Ethics Committee is being called in to see if there were any rules infractions. The use of Germans (like the one below) is frowned upon in competitive quizzo.

The Jams won again at the 'Vous on Wednesday, but were nowhere to be seen when the big boys clashed on Sunday. The team, who many people wanted to see matched up with the Sofa Kingdom and the Champs, was able to get a lot of chores done with the extra free time. "You should see my hallway. Dust free!" said team member Severn Snidely. Severn added that he watched his copy of "Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo" on Sunday to get his breakdancing fix. For the record, let it be known that on-again off-again Jam Darth Ern was in attendance Sunday night, dressed in all black.

Question: What's the only quizzo team to knock off the Sofa Kingdom in the past two weeks? Answer: My Dad Has An Amazing Body, who defeated the Kingdom in overtime on Tuesday. The winning question: When did the Phillies organization begin? The Kingdom guessed 1897, the Bodies guessed 1893. The correct answer was 1883. The Bodies didn't fare as well at BTC, finishing 20th.

The JGT All Stars will be returning to O'Neals tonight to try to defend their title. The Stars, who finished an impressive seventh at the Beat the Champs competition, have won 13 matches in 2005, tied with the Jams for the most on the quizzo circuit this year.

In what 1970s group would you have found Osi, Cujo, and Fahizah?

I don't know how much fun you guys had last night, but if it was half as much as I did, then you had a pretty damn good time. The Lunchbox Cowgirls were a great opener, the Breakdancers were absolutely ELECTRIC, and the steel drum band was simply awesome. And let'd not kid ourselves. I rapped my ass off. The judging went a lot smoother than last time. The actual quizzo was barely longer than a regular quizzo, lasting about two hours. And most importantly, there was no bellydancing! Be sure to vote for your favorite part of the night on the poll over on the right side of the page.

The Sofa Kingdom proved to be Kings of Geekdom, as they knocked off 25 other teams for the grand prize of $300 cash. It was sweet justice for the Kingdom, who were the only team to earn the full ten points for the scavenger hunt before I announced that you could score eight points just for registering earlier. The Kingdom, who finished second at Quizzo Bowl I, held off the Waverly Street Bloodhounds, 137-132. 1022 finished third, with a score of 129. The Cracked Eggheads finished fourth with 124. The Champs, who were trying to dig out from an 8-10 point hole all night, finished an impressive fifth with a score of 121. I will have a list of everybody's scores and many more photos on the site later in the day (I gotta take the props back first).

There were a number of surprises throughout the night, including my "impossible pants" and my sister rapping. But the biggest surprise, of course, was that a room filled with so many white people was able to clap in unison during the breakdancing segment.

Finally, I want to say thanks to everybody that came out last night. Over the past few years, we've developed a unique community, and I'm very thankful of the support you guys have given me. It meant a lot to me that so many of you represented on a Sunday night in August. I had an absolutely incredible time. I hope you did as well. I'm already getting excited about Quizzo Bowl II!

Will the breakdancers be good? Will your team be overnight sensations on the quizzo circuit? Will Johnny rap? Why won't this nasty rash go away? There's only one way to find the answer to these questions (and 48 more), and that is to attend an event unlike any other. The Johnny Goodtimes Beat the Champs Cowgirl Breakdance Steel Drum Spectacular at the World Cafe Live (3025 Walnut). Doors Open at 6 p.m.

Here's the teams that have earned their two bonus points (Remember you get 8 bonus points just by buying tix early). If you earned any extra points and are not on this list, please contact me at johnny@johnnygoodtimes.com. Also, for the record, this is not Quizzo Bowl II. Quizzo Bowl II will be held in January. Quizzo Bowl is a very classy event, meant only for members of high society. Beat the Champs will not be classy at all. In fact, it will be remarkable primarily for it's lack of class. The bouergoise are welcome to attend, and to teach me how to spell bouergeouise.
Trust Us, We Know
1022
Sofa Kingdom
Team w/ Eric and Andi
Missing Heads
Lance Armstrong and the Dirty Urine Samples
River of Rocks
Cracked Eggheads
Trivia Art's Team

If you wanna earn bonus points via scavenger hunt, I'm gonna be somewhat forgiving. Just shoot me a photo of you with your item or a link to your craigslist posting to johnny@johnnygoodtimes.com by midnight tonight. Please tell me your team name when you send me the email. After a slow start, ticket sales have really picked up lately, so this should be a really wild event! I can't wait!

Rick Ames, Esq., is a former counsel to Dead Kennedys, Pearl Harbor & the Explosions and Romeo Void, intimate friend of Symbionese Liberation Army, frequent visitor to Graceland. He is looking for a 40-50 year old woman who enjoys sunsets, booing Mike Lieberthal, and Quaaludes.

Strengths: Ability to read other people's thoughts, transcendental medidation, the history of dentistry

Weaknesses: You kind of caught me off guard there. I'm sure if you gave me a minute I could come up with one or two, but right off the top of my head, no, I have no weaknesses.

On philly.com's list of top local celebrities, JGT was nowhere to be found, despite having won an award for that very thing only a year ago! Outrage! Commence with the burning and looting! Also, you can read about Beat the Champs on the Phillyist, a recent (and really good, I think) blog on the local scene. In my ongoing war with Larry Platt, score one for the Philly Mag editor. There were two letters to the editor in this month's Philadelphia magazine about the absense of quizzo. He edited my name out of both letters! I'm not kidding. Congrats to Rose Muravchick and Kristie Wisniewski, whose letters were published! We'll determine a winner of the $50 cash prize for best letter next week. Alright, I'm done ragging Philly Mag for a while. Promise. Also, congrats to Jamie, who won the $15 gift certificate to Good Dog for Porn Golf title. His "Happy to Drillmore" knocked off 2nd place "Caddy Shag" by 12% in the poll. Finally, a note to the teams who won this week: I will have your photos and stories up at the start of next week, when things are a little less crazy. Sorry about the delay, and thanks for your patience.

For info on Beat the Champs, click here.

Hey gang, great news. They busted some people in Philly who were dealing, get this, DEADLY MARIJUANA! That's right, who knows how much tax money was spent on shutting down the perpetrators of this drug that kills, uh, well it doesn't kill anyone. But it's deadly because it causes the people who smoke it to, uh, watch Star Wars and eat Ben and Jerry's.

Alright gang, here's a list of some of the kool stuff we are gonna be giving away at the World Cafe Live for Beat the Champs. There are going to be lots of winners throughout the night, not just for first and second place. For more info on Beat the Champs, click here. Here's some of the stuff we're giving away:
$450 cash
Dinner for two to Mercato (1216 Spruce)
Six tickets to the Adventure Aquarium in Camden
$75 gift certificate at World Cafe Live
100 free tickets to see the Camden Riversharks
$40 gift certificate to Black Sheep
$40 gift certificate to the Bards

Iron Maiden's pissed off at Ozzy Osbourne, because fans and staff at OzzFest threw things at them, then Ozzy's wife chewed them out on stage. Wha????????? Uh, yeah. You know a heavy metal band is getting old when they start crying about being hit by eggs. Eggs? I mean, didn't Iggy Pop used to roll thru broken glass? A real heavy metal band would have encouraged more egg throwing, then smashed all of the electronic equipment as well as their instruments, and then set the entire stage on fire while invoking the name of Satan. They would not have responded with a little note on their webpage (click on the press release to the right). A webpage? A real heavy metal band doesn't communicate to it's fans through a freaking webpage! A real heavy metal band communicates to it's fans only through deviant sexual acts and kick-ass power chords.

You guys know that I'm a fan of bad album covers. And there are a lot of them out there. Well, the Sun just released a few more. There are some repeats, but there is enough new material to make it worth it. Also, do you guys think this is for real? What was going on this time last year? I was striking out with hotties in Mexico. George Bush's plan to destroy the environment recently hit a snag, as several states are thinking about adopting their own laws for greenhouse gases.

Sorry to disappoint. I'm sure all you hosebags thought that with all this press that this week was just gonna be one big Johnny Goodtimes Lovefest. Well bad news, suckers. Badtimes is here to rain on the old parade. First of all, Johnny, the scavenger hunt was a great idea. Everybody in this city just loves running around on 103 degree days trying to get pressed pennies from the Seaport Museum. You blockhead. And gee whiz, why not schedule it on a busier vacation week? Nevermind. THAT WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE!

There seem to be these rampant rumors that Johnny Goodtimes will be rapping in Sunday's event. Nothing could be further from the truth. Johnny would never risk his sterling reputation as a gentleman by trying to perform that scandalous form of music. I'm ashamed of you for believing such vile rumors. Today's Philadelphia Weekly (click there and scroll down) says that all scavenger hunt items need to be in by Thursday. Not anymore. I recently moved that back to Saturday at noon. Also, you can earn eight of the possible ten points simply by buying your tickets in advance. Finally, read more about Johnny (including a secret he's been loathe to give away until now) on Inky writer Daniel Rubin's blog.

For more info on Beat the Champs, click here.

One of the highlights of this job is the remarkably random emails I get from time to time. The following correspondance is one of my favorites. I think you might enjoy it too.

Hey Johnny-

If you ever need someone to sing acoustic versions of
Killdozer songs I can hook you up with Killdozer Jr
(acoustic). Killdozer Jr (acoustic)'s resume includes
playing while slightly drunk at open mic night, as
well as in the living room or basement. Although I'm
not sure Killdozer Jr (acoustic) will be available for
Beat the Champs, you may want to keep Killdozer Jr
(acoustic) on your short list of entertainers for
future reference.

I scored the best breakdancer in Philly, but somehow it happened. Raphael Xavier has performed in numerous spots over the past 20 years of breakdancing, including the Kennedy Center. Uh, yeah, that Kennedy Center. In one of those instances where a disaster turns into a huge triumph, yesterday I was freaking out because some guy who told me he could do it wasn't returning my calls. Giving up on him, I was led by a friend to the Community Education Center Meeting House Theatre, who in turn put me in touch with Xavier. Unlike the previous guy I contacted, Raphael was a true pro, and we had worked out a deal in a matter of hours. I am exceptionally excited to see him perform.

For more info on Beat the Champs, click here.

I've been on this planet for over 30 years, and I have never seen anything like this. Ever. Ever. I kind of hope I never see anything like it again. Thanks to Chet for sending this link. If you know any ridiculous links that you would like to share with the quizzo community, please send them to johnny@johnnygoodtimes.com, or just post them below.

What event of interest happened on August 23, 1305?

Just came across this and thought I'd share:
During an August 17, 1957 game, Richie Ashburn hit a foul ball into the stands and struck spectator Alice Roth, wife of Philadelphia Bulletin sports editor Earl Roth, breaking her nose. After play was resumed, Ashburn hit a ball which struck Roth again while she was being carried away in a stretcher.

Johnny Goodtimes is offering a $15 gift certificate to anyone who beats the living s*** out of Pat Robertson. This messenger of God is calling on America to assassinate the president of Venezuela because he doesn't agree with our policies. Christians wonder why so many people are leaving the church, and why we are becoming a godless nation. I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that every time I hear a "Christian leader" speak on tv, he sounds like a bigot out of 1960's Mississippi or just a completely clueless idiot (or, in the case of Pat Robertson, both)? Yes, Chavez is a polarizing figure, and has done business with Castro and China. He's also instituted free health care for his nations poor and instituted major literacy and education programs. Robertson calls him a dictator. He's not a dictator. He is the president of Venezuela, elected by popular vote and he survived a recall vote. Below is a list of some of my favorite Pat Robertson quotes. Enjoy!
(P.S. I'm not really giving away a $15 gift certificate to anyone who gives Pat Robertson a beat down. Let's make it a $20 gift certificate.)

My boy Larry Platt is in today's Inky for defending Philly cheesesteaks. The Philadelphia magaizne editor is one of those nitwits that seems to think that all we do here in Center City is eat cheesesteaks for lunch and Stephen Starr for dinner (there is a story about one or the other in every single freaking issue they ever do.) Anyway's here's his thing.:

The Aug. 1 issue of New York Magazine chronicled New York City's recent cheesesteak boom, partly spurred by the arrival of Tony Luke's. Them's fighting words to Philadelphia Magazine editor Larry Platt, who shot off a missive to NY editor Adam Moss.

Moss - an old pal of Platt's, we'll add - declined comment.

Hey, I'm sending birthday shout outs to two musicians I thoroughly enjoy. The first is John Lee Hooker. If you have not heard him, I highly encourage you to do so. His blues are unlike anybody else's I've heard. Real raw, with little to no rhyme structure. But a great storyteller. Check out "I Cover the Waterfront," "Tupelo", and "I'm Bad Like Jesse James." He was born on this date in 1917. Secondly, GZA of the Wu-Tang Clan turns 39 today. Now, I'm more about the RZA than I am the GZA, but the Genius ain't bad. Here he discusses his chess game.

Okay, my instructions in Beat the Champs haven't been the clearest. Here's the very basics:
When: August 28th, 2005 at 6:30 p.m.
Where: World Cafe Live (3025 Walnut Street)
Who: Johnny Goodtimes, a cowgirl band, a steel drum band, and you
Why: Because I think it will be a lot of fun to have a bunch of quizzo enthusiasts get together to listen to good music and play quizzo in a world class music hall.
What: Beat the Champs is your chance to knock off the champions of Quizzo Bowl I. I am giving you a head start by giving you an opportunity to earn a ten point lead over the champs. You can earn 8 of those points just by ordering your tickets early. The other two points can be earned by performing any of a number of physical challenges, found here and here. All points must be presented to me by Saturday at 12 noon. If a member of your team orders tix online, please have them email me to let me know (johnny@johnnygoodtimes.com)
Do I need to have 8 people before I can buy tickets?
No, each member of the team can buy tix seperately. Also, you do not need to have eight players on your team. Eight is the maximum. You can play by yourself if you want.
But quizzo is normally free. Why would I pay $10 to play quizzo?
Jumping out of a tree is free**, but a roller coaster is a lot more fun. There's gonna be incredible live music, which is not normally found at quizzo. Also, over $750 worth of cash and prizes on the line, as opposed to the $35-$60 usually on the line.

If anybody has any more questions, please feel free to email me or leave a comment below. Thanks.
**Johnny does not endorse nor condone an activity as dangerous as jumping out of trees, despite the savings.

There's gonna be a lot of good stuff happening this week. To kick off, A.D. Amorosi presents First Final Fringefest Gangbang tonight, featuring Fringe festers and comedians working out their acts on stage. There's no cover, PBRs are only a buck, and SoCO shots (peach bourbon, remember) are dirt cheap. That starts at 9 p.m. at Bar Noir, on 251 South 18th Street. Also, there is quizzo at Dark Horse tonight. Not sure if I'm gonna make it or not (team superstar John is out of town, and I'm scared of being exposed for the fraud I really am).

Hunter S. Thompson's ashes were fired out of a cannon in Woody Creek. As some of you know, I consider myself a die hard Thompson fan, and have given him various tributes in the past, including an unprecedented two questions of the week (could a third be on the horizon?). Not sure what to say about the cannon blast. Looked kind of...awkward, to be honest, though I appreciate the effort, and I'm sure it was a lot kooler live. Didn't seem like one of those things that the boob tube can really capture. The media was kept off the ranch so the big stars (Johnny Depp, Bill Murray, George McGovern) wouldn't be hindered. At first glimpse, that seemed a bit absurd. But I suppose I appreciate it, because the media would have made the story about Johnny Depp and Bill Murray, not about Hunter Thompson. They would have, I'm sure, missed the point, while covering a journalist who rarely did.
Related: great Hunter quotes
Related: Richard Nixon Eulogy

You know who's birthday it is baby...oooooh, yeah! Here's an interview in which he bitches about hip-hop, because it "provokes disrespect to women." Takin' care of the ladies both inside the bedroom and out...Damn, that is one smooth mutha...I'd be well served to shut my mouth.

Johnny is giving away free Camden Riversharks tickets to the first 100 people through the door to Beat the Champs! This will give you a splendid opportunity to lay eyes on Campbell's Field, unquestionably one of the most beautiful minor league ballparks in the country (sit on the first base side, where you'll have a view of the bridge and the Philadelphia city skyline). As most of you know, I did a piece in the City Paper a few weeks ago about the Sharks. Well, I am happy to report that a former Shark recently had his dream come true. Kane Davis earned a win in relief for the Milwaukee Brewers this past Sunday. In other baseball news, the Kansas City Royals bear watching the next few days. Why? Because they might break the 1961 Phillies record of 23 straight losses! So far, the Royals have lost 19 in a row.

Sofa Kingdom displayed a new quizzo strategy this week, and it will be interesting to see if people catch on. It's called the "Take a Big Lead Early, Falter Down the Stretch, And Hold on For a Narrow Win " Strategy, and it seems to be working, as they won at the Bards again on Thursday. The team also revealed after the match how excited they are about the LA Kings new acquisition, Yutaka Fukufuji.

A win at the Good Dog was the only good news Xenu's Warriors got this week, as they found out that their favorite rapper, Eminem, pops pills like Rush Limbaugh. "This is devastating news," said team member Merriweather Theismann. "I mean, talk about being blindsided. I've been listening to his records over and over all day, trying to see if I could find some sort of clue that would have tipped us off to this behavior. I got nothin'." Theismann added, "This just goes to show you that anything can happen. Next thing you know, he'll be mad at his ex-wife and angering women's groups with misogynistic lyrics."

A win at the Locust Rendezvous Wednesday was the only piece of good news for 1022 this week, as their favorite athlete admitted to smoking deadly marijuana. Randy Moss came clean, so to speak, with his confession. "It's just awful," added Lewis N. Clark. "Kids are supposed to be inundated with messages about how great alcohol is when they watch football, not marijuana." In one of those great quirky turns of fate, on the same day that Moss admitted to having a green thumb, Snoop Dogg announced that he was going to help start a youth football league. Footbizzle? Fo' Shizzle!

Hey, if you or any of your friends are looking for a dog, today's your lucky day. Pepsi is a one year old female with a face you can't help but love and a heart of gold. She came in to the shelter very scared and shied away from people, but once she got used to us she would get very excited and try to lick you through the gate! She loves being taken outside to run and play. She also loves to lay on your lap and have her belly rubbed. If you or anyone you know is looking for a dog, please swing by the SPCA and have a look at Pepsi!

As you all know, there is a scavenger hunt portion of Beat the Champs. I have decided to add a few things that you can do to earn points. I think you're going to like the first one. Earn eight of the ten possible points simply by buying your ticket before August 28th!!! That's right. All you have to do is buy your ticket in advance, and I'm gonna give you an 8 point lead over the Champs (send me an email letting me know you already bought your tickets to either johnny@johnnygoodtimes.com or beatthechamps@yahoo.com). Then, if you complete just a couple more things, I'll give you 10 points heading into your meeting with the fiercest quizzo team ever to lace 'em up. Here's a few more ways you can earn some points.

Write a letter to the editor of Philly magazine: 1 point
Yes, I know that some people have already written their letters. If those people send me an email telling me what team they will be playing on, I will give them their point. If you haven't already sent in a letter, do so now. If you do it by this Sunday, you will also be eligible to win $50 cash.

Take a picture of Marky Mark or M. Night Shymalan in Philly: 1 point
Get your picture taken with Marky Mark or M. Night: 2 points
Ticket stub or receipt from World Cafe Live: .5 points
Leave a message on the johnnygoodtimes.com message board: .5 points
(just be sure to let me know what team you play for when you leave the message.)
Send Johnny some of your favorite photos you've taken of Philadelphia .5 points
Adventure Aquarium ticket .5 points
zoo balloon ticket .5 points
Ticket to Walt Whitman's house .5 points
ticket to Poe house .5 points
(if some of these places don't give actual tickets, just get me a receipt)

Well, I was gonna post this on his actual birthday (August 16th), but I decided to turn it into a question. So today I am celebrating Charles Bukoski's birthday. Not celebrating the way I should, of course. If I were, I would already be drunk. But I'll probably read a couple of his poems and drink a Miller High Life or something. The first time I ever heard his poetry was on a camping trip and I was transfixed. The guy who was reading his poems was one of those friends you see every 3 or 4 years and thoroughly enjoy the time you spend hanging out with them and you both say you should do it more often and then you never do. Bukoski's not for everyone. I have a number of friends who actively hate him, and many critics say he's untalented and that he's well known in America simply because we love turning our drunks into heroes. There's no accounting for taste, I suppose, but I like his stuff. Here's a really good intro to him in a Rolling Stone article from 1976. And below I have enclosed a couple of poems, though I think you've gotta read several and kind of fall into a groove with him.

The idea is that the state doesn't have rights to limit individuals' wants and passions. I disagree with that. I think we absolutely have rights because there are consequences to letting people live out whatever wants or passions they desire.
Oh, Ricky. Have you been reading Mao's Red Book Again?

I have no problem with homosexuality. I have a problem with homosexual acts.
I have no problem with Rick Santorum. I have a problem with the words that come out of his mouth.

"What the Democrats are doing is the equivalent of Adolf Hitler in 1942 saying, 'I'm in Paris. How dare you invade me. How dare you bomb my city? It's mine.' This is no more the rule of the senate than it was the rule of the senate before not to filibuster."
Yeah, the Democrats are a lot like the Nazis, now that you think about it. Well, except for that whole "destroying Europe and exterminating millions of people because of their religion" thing.

Talikng about priests molesting children.
“Priests, like all of us, are affected by culture. When the culture is sick, every element in it becomes infected. While it is no excuse for this scandal, it is no surprise that Boston, a seat of academic, political and cultural liberalism in America, lies at the center of the storm.”
In fact, I heard that liberals implanted a chip in the priests' heads that turned them evil!

Isn't that the ultimate homeland security, standing up and defending marriage?
Hmmmm, who do I see as more of a threat to national security, terrorists or homosexuals...wow, that's a real toss up. But, you know, Rick's right. Carson, Kyan, and Jai are a bigger threat to America than Osama bin laden.

"Another corporate good citizen cooperating with parents to keep kids from inappropriate content has been Wal-Mart."
Thank you Wal-Mart! You may oppose unions, try to get the minimum wage lowered for your store, destroy mom and pop operations, contribute to our trade deficit with China, and sell deadly weapons, but at least I can't get my hands on the new 50 Cent cd!

"The elementary error of relativism becomes clear when we look at multiculturalism. Sometime in the 1980s, universities began to champion the importance of 'diversity' as a central educational value."
Thank God for Bob Jones University!

This morning in a CNN.com story:

Some 200 people took part in a peace vigil in Cincinnati's Fountain Square. Many carried candles but were told not to light them because of potential harm to the downtown landmark.

Don't light your candles because you might set a fountain on fire? But aren't fountains filled...with...water???

Though I thought that Quizzo Bowl I was, overall, a success, there were a number of things that could be improved for the next event.

a) Downtime. Yes, there was too much downtime. That was because I didn't have enough graders. There will be several more graders. There will also be a few less questions (we'll be going 12 per round instead of 15), and my answer sheets will be better organized.

b) Ended too late for a Sunday night. I have corrected that by lessening the downtime and moving the starting time up a half an hour.

c) The food situation. Last time, we went with more of a snack menu. This time, a full dinner menu will be offered.

d) Most importantly, THERE WILL BE NO BELLYDANCING. Yes, you may breathe a sigh of relief. The breakdancers will not come into the crowd and try to get you to dance with them on the tables.

The ticket situation is a little convoluted when you go to buy tickets online. Do not pay attention to the seating chart. It is useless. After you click on "Buy Tickets", just click on "Quick Pick Tickets" on the next page. Tickets are $10 in advance, $12 at the door. So far, we've sold about 50 tickets. Also, I am extending the deadline to get in your bonus points. You must submit your points to me by next Thursday, August 25th.

Sofa Kingdom turned in their points for the Beat the Champs competition last night, then proceeded to hold off the competition at Bards. The Kingdom, who finished second at Quizzo Bowl, faltered in the final round, but had amassed such a large lead by then that Hardcastle and McCormick was unable to pull off a miracle comeback. Some prognosticators have the Kingdom favored to beat the Champs, though the Champs think that such talk is blasphemous. "Hell, Johnny, give 'em ten more points," said Smooth Rob S., "It's not gonna make a difference. Since our loss at the Vous last week, we have been spending 20-23 hours a day at the library. Nobody, and I mean nobody, is taking our title."

Oh Lord Won't You Buy Me a New Hybrid Car made it a family affair at O'Neals on Tuesday, knocking off the competition with some help from Sly and the Family Stone. Meanwhile, an impressive performance was turned in by Team Dred, a team best known for their collection of last place prizes, as they were able to finish second.

Wanna remind you once again that there will be no quizzo at the Black Sheep tonight. We return there in full force next week.

Got this email from fellow quizmaster John this morning:

So what do you do when an actual fight breaks out at Quizo? I don't
think there's a three-ring binder for that one.

This actually happened at Downey's tonight. Some a****** who wasn't
playing was shouting out answers, I asked him to stop like five times,
the bartender asked him to stop, and finally in the middle of Round 2
one of the other players just walked over and took a swing at the guy.
Clocked him right in the side of the head. Bouncers were called, et
al. Stopped the game for a good twenty minutes.

That's priceless. If the guy who got punched decides to sue, I honestly think that we should raise funds for the attackers defense team.

Johnny Goodtimes is extremely excited to announce that the featured band for the Beat the Champs Spectacular is going to be the Kyle Dunleavy Steel Drum Quartet. Kyle, who is a professional steel drum manufacturer, has been performing professionally for over 10 years. His travels have taken him all over the Northeast, from Maine down to Virginia. He also spent time playing with a number of Caribbean orchestras while on a musical pilgrimage in Trinidad and Tobago. Dunleavy, who graduated from the internationally acclaimed Hartt School of Music, will be joined by three other musicians, a bass player, a percussionist, and a vibraphonist. Johnny will have more details about the band in the near future.

What kind of animal killed an Australian baby named Azaria Chamberlain on August 17th, 1980? Also, check back here at 3 o'clock today, as a big announcement is forthcoming.

It was on this day in 1962 that Pete Best was dumped as drummer for the Beatles, so I've been tooling around, trying to find some kool Pete Best sites and interviews. Here's an interview he did in 1965. Here's a pretty good story followed by a Q&A from 1995. Here's a guy writing that Best deserved to get sacked for Ringo. What is Pete up to today? Rockin' and rollin'.

Just wanted to say Happy Birthday to two of the most influential people of the last 250 years. First, we have Napoloeon Bonaparte, Emperor of the French and King of Italy (remember, he designed their flag). But his death is the casue of more speculation than his birth, as many people think he was poisoned. Here's an interesting article on that. Also celebrating a birthday today is Ben Affleck, star of the box office sensation Gigli. If anyone out there has seen this movie, please give me a review. Here's what the critics said when it came out. This is pretty funny.

There will be no quizzo at the Black Sheep this week, as they are closed for a few days. Just letting ya know.

Hey, here's an article written by my former radio partner, Nat "The Truth" Jones, about his bitterness surrounding the Trojan War. I think you'll enjoy it.

So, the Trojan War. Have you heard about this debacle? Do you know anything about this? Man, the Trojans really dropped the ball on that one, didn’t they? I know it was a long time ago and things have changed, but let me just start by saying that if I had bet money on the Trojans to win that war, I would’ve been totally livid with the outcome. Allow me to set the stage:

Stupid Sexy Flanders won in what was unquestionably the most pathetic overtime performance of all time. When asked how tall the Eiffel Tower was, they guessed 300 feet. Miraculously, the other team made an even worse guess, thinking it was over 1700 feet. The correct answer was 984 ft. Stupid Sexy Flanders (who told me recently that there were almost 15,000 spectators at Live 8) said that they didn't think that those stupid French could build something that big. They then reported that "Freedom Fries taste even better when they're smothered in victory."

Whatchu talkin' 'bout Willis was able to win a spirited match at Good Dog, but didn't have a photo taken because of the Eiffel Tower. It's a long story, one we can't really get into right now. But trust us, it wasn't Johnny's fault. It was the Eiffel Tower's fault. Seriously. Freakin' French.

Alright gang, there's a lot going on right now, so let me get it organized into a neat little package for you. Letters of complaint to the editor of Philly magazine (lplatt@phillymag.com, with a copy of said letter being sent to johnny@johnnygoodtimes.com)) are due by 11:59 p.m. Sunday night. They do not have to be solely about quizzo, they just have to have some mention of the Quizzo exclusion in them. The writer of the best letter gets $50 cash. The "Best Golf Porn Title" contest also ends on Sunday. Best title for a golf porn (starring, of course, Tag Ridings and Jenna Jameson) wins a $15 gift certificate to Good Dog. "Is that all? Fifteen bucks?" Yes, that's all. Get over it. If you are hoping to earn points to help your team Beat the Champs, remember I must have physical or photographic evidence by next Sunday, August 21. Also, I would love you to send me some of your favorite photos that you have taken of Philly. I've got a really neat idea for the Big Event, but I can't do it without you. Please send photos to beatthechamps@yahoo.com or johnny@Johnnygoodtimes.com.

Johnny yesterday signed the breakdancers for the quizzo event of the century*. They will be part of the half-time extravaganza at Beat the Champs Spectacular. They join the Lunchbox Cowgirls, who have already signed on. Two of the members of the Cowgirls will be performing at the GhettoSongbirds WingDom Fest, which is a Rock 'n' Soul Music and Arts Festival this Saturday at the Halycon Gallery on 3237 Amber Street. The Show starts at 12 noon and runs all the way until Midnight. It looks pretty kool, it's only $10, and its goal is to raise funds and awareness for the Calcutta AIDS House in North Philly. For more info click here. The Wingdom Fest will also feature a group called Tangled Thoughts, who are the most talented underground hip hop group I've seen in Philly.

WTF was able to pull off a narrow victory at the Black Sheep on Wednesday night, but their decision to have the victory celebration at Beanie's Welcome Home party did not go over as well as hoped. "Yeah, he shot me," said Wolf Wolfington (left) while recovering from a gunshot wound at a nearby hospital. "As most of you know, this beef between Beanie and I goes back a number of years. He's been mad ever since I began a clothing line called 'County Property'." The WTFers are no strangers to the hip hop circuit. Big Bopper was actually a member of the Wu-tang Clan for several months in late 2004. He left the group after a disagreement with Ghostface Killah during the 50/50 round.

The Jams, the object of much scorn and ridicule over the past week, shut up both Johnny and the Champs at the Vous on Wednesday night with an impressive 115-105 victory. The Champs, who thought that they could cruise to victory at the Vous, and enjoy smooth sailing at the big event on August 28th, may have received a wake up call. "Yeah, it was a disappointing loss," said Smooth Rob S. of the Champs, "But you know who's going to pay the price for it? The teams that choose to compete against us on August 28th. Those poor souls are going to bear the brunt of our aggression after this loss." But the story on this night was the Jams, who missed two questions in round two, then didn't miss another one the rest of the way. In an effort to knock off the Champs, they had fielded an All-Star team of sorts, even recruiting Ern, whose decision to leave the team last July was one fo the most controversial moves in quizzo history. Though the team has still not decided to attend the Big Event, Ern has announced that he will attend, meaning that the TO of quizzo is essentially a free agent.

By the Power of Grayskull pulled off a blowout victory at the Bards on Tuesday night, and were excited about their prize for winning: an all-expenses paid vacation to Grayskull! But the vacation didn't go as planned. "First of all," said Parsnip Cabbagepaw, "The power went out like an hour after we got there. Apparently, when He-Man summons all of that power into his sword, it blows the circuit breakers in the basement. Secondly, I was hoping that this was a sex tourism trip, and that She-Ra was involved. No such luck. We didn't even get a chance to meet her. And don't even get me started on the bathrooms at Grayskull (below)."

A Hypocrite and Full of S*** joined the ranks of Eeyore, Hans Solo, and Longstreet, pulling off a victory all by himself. It was no walk in the park either, as he had to knock off the likes of Defective Sidewalk, Whateveruwant and the JGT All-Stars (suddenly cold after such a hot start this year) to attain the victory. As quizzo insiders know, the Hypocrite is a teammate of Johnny's occcasionally at the Dark Horse, and there are rumors that he's the brains behind the squad, and that Johnny's just some cocky pseudo-intellectual loudmouth. Johnny asks that you not pay any attention to those rumors.

Fair enough. Somebody asked me why my letter to the editor of Philly Mag isn't posted on the site. The reason is, well, because I finally just wrote it. Man, I hope it's the best one. I really don't feel like doling out $50. If you wanna a shot at the fifty beans (no, I'm not gonna give it to myself), then send your letter of complaint to lplatt@phillymag.com.

Larry,

In your opening statement of the most recent addition of your magazine, you imply that the "Best Of" isn't an attempt to stroke the collective egos (and wallets) of your advertisers. And then you ignore one of the few things that this city is the undisputed world capital of. We have pretzels, we have cheesesteaks, and we have QUIZZO! What other reason are we, your readers, to infer that you left this out of your "best of" edition other than that it a) isn't advertised in your magazine? Is it b) lack of popularity? Hardly. This event has been going on for years in this city, and bars throughout the region are filled to capacity on the slowest days of the week with people anxious to test their wits against one another. Could it be c) If it doesn't make a sound in a Stephen Starr restaurant, it doesn't exist? Perhaps. Or is it d)a lack of awareness? I hope not. If so, I highly encourage you to change the name of your magazine, because you simply don't know this city and you are doing it a disservice by carrying its name. I look forward to hearing your answer. This question is a weekly double, and a correct answer is worth ten points.

Sincerely,
Johnny Goodtimes

Hey gang, I've gotten a lot of questions about Beat the Champs, so I'll try to clear a few things up.

1) Is the scavenger hunt for real?
Yes, you may earn points by embarking on a number of adventures. Remember, all pictures, tickets, etc. must be sent to Johnny by August 21. Email things to beatthechamps@yahoo.com.

2) How many players are allowed on a team?
Eight players maximum.

3) Why can't I tell what table I'm ordering?
We're going to do it a little bit different than last time. It's going to be first come, first serve on the tables, just like at regular quizzo. You order the tix online, but you don't order a specific table.

4) Will you have more graders than at Quizzo Bowl?
Yes. Lesson learned.

5. What about bellydancing?
Uh, no, there will be no bellydancing.

6. Should I plan to have dinner at the World Cafe Live that night?
Yes, they will be offering a full menu.

7. Do you really want our photos of Philly?
Yes, please send me your photos of Philly and of you and your teammates. I want to incorporate them into the show. Please send any kool, funny, or Phillycentric photos to johnny@johnnygoodtimes.com.

8. Is it going to be worth $10?
Absolutely. This is either going to be one of the most amazing shows of any kind in this city this year or it's going to be a complete train wreck. Either way, it's worth a measly ten bones.

9. Can I get tickets at the door?
Yes, but they will be a little more expensive. Also, keep in mind that the last show sold out and we turned away a bunch of people at the door. I would suggest ordering them online.

10. Will there be any other prizes besides the money?
Yes, there will be a few Let's Make a Deal-like moments throughout the course of the night, with a chance to win some great prizes (and alas, some zonks).

If you have any more questions you want answered, please provide them in the comments section below.

Well, after all of his bitching and whining, JGT finally got some ink. Thing is, he got it in Oregon. Do some of you grizzly old quizzo veterans remember Roy the Inquizzinator, the man who filled in while I was in Mexico? Well, he's moved out to Oregon and started his own Quizzo empire (only he calls it quizzy), and just got a pretty good article written about him. There's talk of his humble starts in the JGT Empire. It's a damn shame the Oregonian has a better idea of what's going on in this city than a magazine called Philadelphia. Which reminds me, YOU HAVE UNTIL SUNDAY TO WRITE YOUR LETTER TO THE EDITOR of Philly Magazine, complaining about the exclusion of quizzo in their best of edition. Not only will I be forever indebted to you, but the best letter gets $40 cash. Hell, let's round up. Let's make it $50. Just mail your letter of complaint to lplatt@phillymag.com, and send a copy to johnny@johnnygoodtimes.com. Wanna say thanks again to the people who have written so far.

Momentum is starting to build for the Beat the Champs Spectacular, as Johnny today signed the first band to the show. The Lunchbox Cowgirls are a country cowgirl cabaret band. Kendall Roark ("the Texas Mermaid") writes and sings most of the songs and plays rhythm guitar. Moe Pain ("the Bitch-N-Black") keeps it all together with her steady and melodic bass lines. Local singer/songwriter Nicola Visaggio (aka "Butch-N-Busty") plays a mean lead guitar and sings harmonies. For the show they'll be joined by banjo/vocalist Kathleen Pappalardo --the newest edition to the band.

The Lunchbox Cowgirls play mostly original songs in the country crooner tradition with a sprinkling of american traditionals and old time country covers. They are not afraid to search out the roots of country and its connections with other styles of music. This experimentation takes the form of everything from country-tangos and blue-grass inspired laments, to country-twanged gypsy-jazz for the burlesque crowd. You can see them perform every last Monday of the month as the house-band for the SideShow Cabaret at the Khyber in Center City Philadelphia. The Cowgirls will be playing to open the show. Johnny still has several more surprises in store. Stay tuned!!!

The rivalry between the Champs and one of the winningest teams of all time seems to be heating up. The Champs have informed me that they will be playing at the 'Vous tonight. Don't know if you saw them call out the Jams last week, or the heated exchange on the comments section, but things have started to turn ugly. Johnny is expected to sign his first musical act for the show today, so stay tuned.

Any faith mankind had in survival of the fittest took a serious blow last night, as some idiot jumped 40 feet onto a net at Yankee Stadium, but emerged almost unscathed. You hate to see that happen. Him living, I mean. I didn't take any reckless chances when I was 18, so I have no sympathy for guys like this.

As most of you have heard by now, the mother of a young man who was killed in Iraq is protesting outside George Bush's ranch in Texas, demanding to meet with the President. She is asking George Bush to send his daughters over to Iraq, since the cause is so noble. However, we all know that they can't go to Iraq because the Happy Hours there...like...totally suck. So anyways, the right wing has begun doing what they're best at: destroying people (yes I notice the irony of using this sentence after taking jabs at the Bush twins. Get over it.) Here's one of hundreds of websites that attacks Sheehan, though the responses the guy has gotten haven't been all that favorable. Also, I'm going to come clean: I don't know if my use of irony a few sentences ago was proper. I used to know what irony meant, but I have had so many people tell me so many different things that I now have no clue.

Eleven of our presidents have belonged to this denomination of faith, the most presidential followers of any. What denomination is it? Still hoping for more entries to the "Come Up With the Best Golf Porn Name" contest. $15 is four or five free cold ones at the Good Dog.

Gene Mauch, perhaps the most snakebitten manager ever, died on Monday at the age of 79. He is best known in Philly for being the manager of that infamous 1964 team, the team that choked away a 6.5 game lead with two weeks left in the season. That must have been so incredible, a Phillies team leading the division later than May. I can't really imagine it. Here's a short article in the City paper defending Mauch. Here's a copy of an article written in the Inky last year, commemorating the 40th anniversary of the Collapse.

Edge and Moose will be returning to the quizzo scene tonight, as they host quizzo at the Dive at 8:30 p.m.! The Dynamic Duo will be in full effect, dazzling game players as they take over for a vacationing Pedro Mays.

Alright gang, less than a week left to write your letter to Philly mag editor Larry Platt (lplatt@phillymag.com). Remember to send a copy to me (johnny@johnnygoodtiems.com) I have gotten 12 entries, and will let you read a couple of my personal faves, to perhaps give you some inspiration. Because you are going to write this letter yourself, am I right? AM I RIGHT? The first one comes from Rudolph Elway. The second from Liz. And the third is from Anthony. Enjoy.

Happy Birthday JC Chasez! The talented N' Sync performer, who is very talented, turns 29 today! The multi-talented mega-star, who most people have grouped somewhere between the great Jospeh Haydn and Stevie Wonder when it comes to just plain raw talent, has really turned the music world on it's ear with a type of sound never really heard before-as well as his talent! "I don't like to throw around terms like 'muscial genius' very often," said Paul McCartney when we spoke with him this morning. "But there's no denying Chasez his due." B.B. King doesn't necessarily agree. "No, JC is a very wonderful, very talented kid. But he's no Lance Bass. Now there's a kid who you're going to be hearing a lot about for a long time to come." Here is a poor, disillusioned fan who thougth it would be fun to put up a JC Chasez website, but then everybody told her it sucks, so she took it down to spite them! You go, girl. Also, it contains an email address if you would like to be her friend. Here's a fictional story this same girl wrote about JC's girlfriend dying called "Close My Eyes". Unbelievable. It's probably won some awards. This, people, is why the internet exists.

The letters continue to come in, but in the words of the Pointer Sisters, "I need more, more, more!" (They follow that with the words, "Jump for my love", but that line is irrelevant to our current mission.) Send a letter to Philly mag's Larry Platt (lplatt@phillymag.com), complaining about the exclusion of Quizzo in his best of edition. Best letter gets $40 cash. Also, be sure to vote below for your least favorite Philadelphian. I really think it's a toss up between Ed Wade and John Street, but so far Eskin has several more votes than Wade. Here's Will Bunch's list of the 100 people who are screwing up Philly. Finally, be sure to come up with a good title for a golf porn movie starrign Tag Ridings and Jenna Jameson. Best title gets a $15 gift certificate to Good Dog.

I Slept with your Mother finished off Tasteless Thursday (the winner at the Dog was "Don't Kick the Baby in the Groin") with a win at the Bards, edging out Longstreet Lost the War and the Defective Sidewalk. The team then dedicated the win to Tag Ridings, their favorite golf player. "We've loved Tag ever since he was a porn star," said Willoughby Grizzard of the Mothers. "And now that he's a golf pro, we love him even more." WHoever comes up with the best title for a golf themed porn movie (starring Tag Ridings) wins a $15 dollar gift certificate to the Good Dog. Just enter your suggestions in the comments thing below.

A team of investigators who looked into the plane crash in Toronto won at the Good Dog on Thursday, playing as a team called Don't Kick the Baby in the Crotch. The team concluded that the plane had landed too long down the runway. When asked what evidence supported those findings, they said, "Well, there was this giant plane that ended up in the trees at the end of the runway, so that was our main clue." The experts added that if the plane had landed in trees at the start of the runway, then it might have meant that the plane had landed too short. They also said that they think the Air France plane was a plane coming from a country in Europe, and that the person at the controls appeared to be "some sort of pilot".

Bibleman was able to lead Bojangles to an upset victory over such luminaries as Pepperoni, the Missing Heads, and River of Rocs at the Black Sheep on Wednesday night. Bibleman, who was just a neighborhood kid named Buddy Lembeck before a chance encounter with the good book turned him into a prophecy spouting superhero, seems to be really good with world capitals. The competition was the final one for the Sheepshaggers (below), who are moving back to England.

Darth Ern returned with vengeance to the Locust Rendezvous, but a devastating World Capital round kept him out of the money. The Jams escaped with the win, then announced that they're probably not going to participate in Beat the Champs. Why? Too expensive, said one of the team members. Smooth Rob S. of the Champs was understanding. "Yeah, the Jams are right. Ten bucks is too much money to pay for them to have their asses kicked by the greatest quizzo team ever assembled. Their logic makes total sense. They can cower in one bar, where they are considered the best, and not have to face the certain humiliation that comes with a crushing defeat to the Champs on the grandest quizzo stage in the city. Seriously, there's nothing wrong with being the best team in the bush leagues. Tell them to send me a postcard from the minors. Ha-ha-ha-ha," he added. "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha."

My Father Has An Amazing Body won at the Bards on Tuesday night in a squeaker, then asked Johnny to post a photo of one of their father's amazing bodies. Johnny was hesitant at first, but finally relented, after assurances that said father would not beat him senseless. The team edged Sorry About Your Car, 90-89.

The Possum Suffocaters cruised to victory at O'Neals on Tuesday night, but didn't leave the bar without a few scratches. As you probably saw on Action News that night, the Suffocaters had just finished off their latest victim when another possum saw what was happening and sprang into action. "We didn't know what the hell was going on, pardon my french," said Raul de Champagne. "I think it threw us off a little that the attacking animal was wearing a lei." The leid possum inflicted heavy damage on the team. Things only got worse when the other possum sprang up on his feet and exacted his revenge. "We thought we had finished that one off, but I guess he was just...well, you know what he was doing."

Dunno if you saw last night's wild finish between the Phils and the Cubs, but I haven't seen anyone explain the ruling of the play. With the bases loaded and one out, Pat Burrell struck out, but the catcher dropped the ball. Burrell began running to first. The catcher got the ball, and then threw to third to try to catch runner Jimmy Rollins off the base. Rollins then ran home and beat the throw from third back to home. Some guys at the Black Sheep were yelling that all the catcher had to do was touch home plate for a force out, and I thought so too. After looking in my handy baseball rule book, I found that that is not the case. With first base occupied and less than two outs, the batter is automatically out, and cannot advance to first base. There was no force play on, and Burrell was automatically out. Had there been two outs and Burrell struck out swinging, then yes, there would have been a potential force play at home. Sorry, I know there's been a lot of baseball stuff lately. But that play was particularly wacky, and they didn't explain the ruling anywhere that I read about it.

Let's learn about the most perenially mediocre team in the history of sports. (Sorry if I sound a bit cynical, but Monday's loss just took me over the edge.)
-The first ever baseball game broadcasted on the radio aired on August 25, 1921, in Philadlephia. The Phillies, get this, lost to the Pirates, 8-5.

-There were efforts to call the Phils the Quakers in the 1910s and the Blue Jays in the 1940s. Neither name stuck, and therefore "Phillies" is the longest continuous name fo a team in all of professional sports.

The Man in Black returns to Fergie's Pub (12th and Sansom) tonight at 10 p.m., giving me another opportunity to use the above ad (It was an ad taken out in Rolling Stone a few years ago and reads, "Johnny Cash would like to acknowledge the Nashville music establishment and country radio for your support."). Oh, and happy 79th birthday to Tony Bennett.

Really good article in today's Philly Weekly by my buddy Jesse Smith (One of the Centralia Seven) about the closing of Doc Johnson's on Arch. (Note: not for the Puritanical.) Sad to say, I never went inside. Did anybody here ever check it out? If so, feel free to leave a comment, telling what it was like. You may maintain your anonymity, of course.

Wanna say thanks to the five people who have so far sent letters in the "Complain to the editor contest." They've all been good, but there is still a chance for each of you to take home the $40 cash. Just send your letter to lplatt@phillymag.com, telling him why it's ridiculous for quizzo not to be included in their best of edition. Then send me a copy of the letter at johnny@johnnygoodtimes.com.

I had agreed to join some friends of mine (former Bards champs the Goats) on a trip to the Yuengling brewery on Saturday, but had announced that I would probably not join them on the ensuing drive to Centralia. Though I thought that a town that was evacuated due to an underground fire was pretty kool, I had seen some photos online, and they seemed pretty uninspiring. So I drove seperately, and met up with the other six (some of whom you might remember from my Live 8 experience) at the brewery.

There is a bit of dark humor in the presidentialpicture below last Thursday night's Bards story (Click there and then scroll down). Can you figure out what it is?

Today is Chuck D's birthday! Here's an interview he did last year in Motherjones. For those who don't know, Chuck is from a long ago period in rap, when intelligent young black men expressed to the world their feelings and beliefs through poetry, defying all stereotypes in the process. It was unlike the commercial "gangsta" crap that suffocates the airwaves today (50 Cent is garbage). Though there is still a decent amount of thought provoking hip hop being produced, and there are still some really great rappers out there (Jay Z, Common, Mos Def), I feel like the powers that be would rather promote thugs that perpetuate long held stereotypes than present any sort of intelligence or thought. That's why the Roots aren't on MTV or Power 99, and Lil' Jon is. When Chuck D was king, rap was a powerful tool for the voiceless to be heard. Now it's just another crappy mainstream fad.

Ok, ok, so I've been a slacker lately, and I haven't done a good job of posting 100 point scorers. If your team scored 100 or more, and won, please send me an email so I can post them on the 100 point club. Also, tell me roughly when and at what bar it occurred. Shoot me an email ro just post below: johnny@johnnygoodtimes.com. Thanks.

Well, Philadelphia Magazine came out with it's latest edition, and the winner of best quizzo went to...are you ready for this...NOBODY! Yet again, Philadelphia magazine has insulted Center City by neglecting to include one of it's favorite pasttimes. While they were able to cover such favorite Philadelphian pasttimes as "Books About Meat", "Cocktail Waiter at a Stephen Starr Restaurant", and "Best Pooper Scooper Service", quizzo is apparently not quite as popular as dogs***. And to add insult to injury, the best place to indulge your inner nerd was a scrabble club. As you might imagine I am so incensed that I am just giving away money. Whoever writes the best (sarcastic/funny/creative) letter to the editor of Philadelphia Magazine about the exclusion of quizzo in their "best of" edition will win $40 cash. (I've had some trouble with the message going thru. If you do too, just email editor larry Platt at lplatt@phillymag.com). Nothing threatening or personal. Well, nothing personal about the editor. If you want to write something personal about the magazine, go right ahead. Just write the email to them, and send me (johnny@johnnygoodtimes.com) a copy of what you have written. All entries must be written by August 12th. I will post the best ones on the website, and the one I like the best will get the $40 cash. No, you do not have to be identified by your full name.