Today in the Metro

Today's column is about my bitterness towards Trivia Art, and how I am above shameless pandering. It was inspired when Art sent me an email telling me to eat a free cupcake above the fridge that he had gotten for free. I suddenly realized I was the person you give hand-me-down cupcakes to, which is a tough pill to swallow, even for "America's Guest". This column is very big of me, and an opportunity for you to appreciate how much integrity I have.