Bad Idea Jeans
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PGW cut off my gas on Friday which was a real @$$&@^& move because since they did right before the weekend I had to wait four days to get it turned back on. After three and a half days without a hot shower I desperately needed one. Man Law states that you can't call a dude and ask to use his shower, and Ginger was working, so I called Smackdown and used her shower. And no, nothing ribald occurred.* Anyways, me and Smackdown and Gabe and the rest of the AmGlads Gang headed over to D-macs to watch Gladiators (The Eliminator still sucks.)
I would have gone home after that but Gabe said he was gonna grab another drink. So we met up with some friends of his from school at a bar that shall remain nameless b/c of what I'm about to tell you and the next thing you know I'm talking to this really hot blonde at the bar who gave me a look but then it turned out that she was 19 (seriously, she did not look 19. Ask Gabe. Or the bartender.) so after I talked to her for a little while (I didn't want to be rude) I left and met up with Gabe and his friends again at Misconduct Tavern. Well, they closed at 2 (it's the law) but Gabe was a member of Pen and Pencil so we headed there. I hadn't been to the P & P in like 5 years, since I dated this girl that was a hard partier but also loved Jesus and tried to convert me over dinner and later ended up making out with one of my Jewish friends because he said he loved Jesus**. Next thing you know it is 4:45 a.m. and I am walking through the empty streets of Philadelphia back to my place. Then I had to wake up at 9:15 because the damn guy from PGW was here to turn my gas back on. God, I hate PGW! Um, so what was my point? Oh yeah, quizzo will probably suck tonight, because I am exhausted. But you should still go.
*though not b/c of a lack of effort on my part.
**True story
While that is a very interesting story, it doesn't include anything about how Obama invented the internet, which is an even more interesting story.
Hey JGT, you need some work on your game. You're probably not going to score showing up at a woman's apartment begging to use her shower because your utilities have been disconnected. I mean, think about it. You're probably going to be treated as the pathetic person that you are.
You certainly are an authority on women. Because after all, if there is one thing that impresses women, it's guys who spend their nights leaving bitter messages on the blogs of local quizmasters.
Hey, Authority, perhaps you'd be more comfortable in your cush, government job in Myanmar.
Why are you wasting your time on this site when you could be buying more t-shirts on armaniexchange.com?
What happened, Manayunk ran out of sluts tonight so you're here, ripping a guy who's your superior? Why don't you go and join a coral reef.
Hah! What little you know about women, JGT. They are tremendously impressed with guys like me who leave witty messages on the blogs of pathetic lonely quizmasters who can't pay their utility bills. Bitter? Not hardly. I buy my condoms wholesale. Hah!
And women REALLY love guys who use terms like "Not hardly". It is a sign of extremely high intelligence. Just pop your collar and drag your knuckles back to Manayunk already, you clown.
Damn it, AOW! I knew those were wholesale the minute I smelled them. And of course, now we have a problem. Call me at Woody's ASAP.
Well if you can't deal with some well-intentioned criticism of your woeful wooing skills, Goodtimes, I suppose I'll just leave you to your pathetic, chickless existence. If you reconsider and want to get in on the heavy action, just give me a holler. I'm always willing to share my techniques. I'll even point you toward a good deal on prophylactics.
"If you reconsider and want to get in on the heavy action, just give me a holler."
Did you really just write that? Really? Tell you what. Just put on your American Eagle shirt, gel your hair, swing by Hollywood Tans and then go get some of that "heavy action". Do I really think that a disgrace like you gets "heavy action"? Not hardly.
That rhubarb festival of yours is the closest you're going to get to Intercourse, you buffoon.
Two worlds collide, rival nations
It's a primitive clash, venting years of frustrations
Bravely we hope against all hope, there is so much at stake
Seems our freedom's up against the ropes
Does the crowd understand?
Is it a East vs. West, or man against man
Can any nation stand alone?
In the burning heart, just about to burst
There's a quest for answers, an unquenchable thirst
In the darkest night, rising like a spire
In the burning heart, the unmistakable fire, in the burning heart
In the warrior's code, there's no surrender
Though his body says stop, his spirit cries never
Deep in our soul a quiet ember
Knows it's you against you
It’s the paradox that drives us on
It's a battle of wills, in the heat of attack
It's the passion that kills
The victory is yours alone
In the burning heart, just about to burst
There's a quest for answers, an unquenchable thirst
In the darkest night, rising like a spire
In the burning heart, the unmistakable fire
In the burning heart, just about to burst
There's a quest for answers, an unquenchable thirst
In the darkest night, rising like a spire
In the burning heart, the unmistakable fire
In the burning heart, just about to burst
There's a quest for answers, an unquenchable thirst
In the darkest night, rising like a spire
In the burning heart, the unmistakable fire
In the burning heart
Stop it. You're embarrassing yourself.
You've got to hand it to that simpleton, AOW. He/she did make pretty clever use of the rhubarb/intercourse thing. That was clever and funny.
What is not funny is how many condoms this person buys. Who uses condoms?
That most recent comment was directed at AOW, not Ivan Drago. Ivan, you make your country very proud. And I'd like to thank you for providing the same chorus three times there at the end of your message about the spires and the fires. Really drove the message home.
I couldn't have said it better myself, Ivan, though I question the relevance of your post. As for you, Goodtimes, I have better things to do than exchange barbs with an nonentity such as yourself, and I think it's time I went about doing them. I have to work out to keep my perfect body toned, and then bathe, dress and perfume myself in preparation for another night of amour. You no doubt have to fine tune your rhubarb recipe in preparation for your foray out to Intercourse, PA. Go in peace.
And I wouldn't be caught dead, or even post-coital, in Manyunk.
Does AOW look anything like this?
http://www.myspace.com/scottalexander_no1
That's how the song goes, Johnny Goodtimes. It ends with the chorus repeated three times.
All I want is for my husband to be safe, to be treated fairly.
You call him a killer. He's a professional fighter, not a killer.
You have this belief that you are better than us.
You have this belief that this country is so very good and we are so very bad.
You have this belief that you are so fair and we are so cruel.
It's all lies and false propaganda...to support this antagonistic and violent government!
Good! Yes, insult us!
It's more typical rude behavior toward visiting foreigners.
But perhaps this simple defeat of this little so-called champion...will be a perfect example...of how pathetic and weak your society has become!
We go!
This Drago couple is weirding me out, Goodtimes. If I were you, I would politely decline any invitations to dinner.
Non-entity? If I was such a non-entity, do you think the great Sergei Rimsky would be posting on my blog? Everything you say is all lies and false propaganda.
Rimsky? The name rings a bell. Is he one of the Sevastopol Rimskys? I think I may have met him in a seraglio in Muscat. I believe we discussed Pushkin.
I'm not surprised. I believe you were suggesting some Pushkin when you whipped out those wholesale Jimmy Hats at Woody's. F*cker.
Pushkin is a Russian poet and novelist and has nothing at all to do with sodomy. Silly bugger.