Finally!

An injury did what our fearless manager couldn't: took a remarkably worthless closer (this year) off the field. Charlie couldn't move him because it would hurt his feelings, and Charlie wants to go down in history as the only manager in sports history to never hurt a single players feelings. So now, we will get Brett Myers as closer, which seems to make a hell of a lot more sense (if you had told me a month ago that Brett Myers as our closer made a hell of a lot of sense, I would have shaken you violently and told you to "snap out of it".) Oh, and our prize off-season pick up, Freddie Garcia, totally stinks right now. But Howard and Utley have started hitting, so I'm hoping we're gonna get back on track. And how many close games are we gonna lose to the freaking Braves? Geesh.
Related: Inky writer Jim Salisbury blasts Phillies for lying.