Young, Old, and Restless Win, Demand that we attack the Brits

The Young, the Old, and the Restless won at O'Neals on Tuesday night, then demanded that the Untied States declare war on the British. "They've been bitter ever since Yorktown," said Owen Sparks, "And I guess it boiled over when they saw Snoop Dogg at Heathrow. Well, they went too far, trying to push around one of our national icons. It's time for us to strike back." The White House is said to be "extremely displeased" with the Brits handling of the Doggfather, and a spokesman said that "All options are on the table."